Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker

Author's Note: I didn't wait for any reviews or for the first chapter to even be officially published on the site before I dove into this chapter. Again first story so it's probably bad compared to most others.

Chapter 2: Pies, Parasols, and Hard Heads

After saving the small village in which Donnel resided it was quickly decided to keep him among the ranks as he proved a tad weak, but definitely appeared to be a quick learner and an apt warrior given that he was trained properly. After a somewhat heated discussion with his "Ma" much to his embarrassment he was allowed to stay with the Shepherds to go and save the world after gaining parental consent.

With this new addition the Shepherds set out to Regna Ferox just as Emmeryn suggested the Shepherds do and with such ample time on his hands, the master tactician once again sets out to help his blue haired comrade. And a few days into their travels Robin decides to talk to Chrom, hopefully regarding Pies and whatnot.

"Ah Chrom, just the man I was looking for." Robin knew that in order for the bloodline of the Royal family to continue he would have to step in because if left to his own devices, the most romantic relationship the Prince would have would be with his sword Falchion.

"Oh? Need my assistance with a new strategy friend or are you looking to court a certain noble woman?" At this our very aware and clever tactician simply narrowed his eyes and left his mouth slightly agape.

"What exactly are you talking about? I don't think I know any Nobles that I'd be willing to court since both are your own two sisters and I'd sooner fall on my own sword before I thought about that."

Yes just as they said, thicker than the tomes he reads. "I thought you said you had a slight interest in Maribelle, despite your rough introduction and uh... spat the other day. I'm sure she's warming up to you especially after the fact that her rescue from Gangrel was planned and executed by you. I'm sure any woman would consider the man that saved her from the clutches of evil as a suitor. Even if that man also insulted he hair and her attitude"

"Who?"

At this Chrom became very confused.

"Eh what do you mean who Robin?"

"Who is this Noble that I recently saved from Gangrel? I remember encountering him near the border where we skirmished after he demanded the Fire Emblem, but beyond that..."

"Maribelle. The woman with hoops for hair..."

Yes with this Robin's memory became vividly clear as to who Chrom was talking about.

FLASHBACK

Just after recruiting Donnel, the Shepherds were already making their way to Regna Ferox and Robin was well into stewing as to how he could give Sumia her chance with Chrom. As he thought a pair of blonde antlers bounded toward him from behind with a cheesy grin slapped across her face. When she came next to him he greeted her with a smile before he actually registered who it was and when he did he jumped back with both arms crossed in an X formation.

"WHOA HOLD UP, you better not have another slimy, nasty surprise to be throwing down my shirt!"

"Oh get over it, you know if you could see that rubbery thing you did with your face, you'd do the same. Anyway I don't have any frogs for you I just thought I'd come and talk to you." She said with an all too innocent face.

Robin was a master tactician and as such he was able to see through a ruse like this. But his job also meant that he must not only see underneath the underneath (total Naruto reference right?) he must also be able to successfully gain information that could aid with crucial situations such as this. Yet again Robin would prove Gaius wrong as he masterfully manipulated words to gain critical intelligence to his situation.

"HA HA Yes of course my good friend and/or colleague! I too would love to discuss things with you as we can share personal information between each other and not be worried as to others discovering it since what we share is considered confidential by our friendship!"

Nailed it. Robin was considered a genius tactician, a decent swordsman, average mage, but none could possibly deny his skill in word play. He knew it was successful as any and all who were gifted the chance to hear his lies had a slightly confused and somewhat aloof look about them. How he ended up a tactician and not a thief or ruffian was far beyond his understanding.

"Sure whatever that means. I just heard from Chrom that the Shepherds tactician might be out to seek a woman's affection in the very army he commands. Yes a woman who happens to be good friends with me so I was hoping you might be able to fill me in so I could help you out with you quest for love!"

Yes that last bit might have been squealed out a bit and left Robin befuddled until he remembered the web of lies that could not be unraveled.

"Ah yes of course I may have told Chrom that I have a bit of an interest in a certain someone."

Obviously Lissa wanted any and all information regarding her best friend to come forth so that this intrigue would make for juicy gossip in the mess tent later on.

"Soooo what do you think of her? What is she like?"

"Yes well although Marylbol has a very abrasive attitude that I find quite rude and annoying she also has a strange taste in hairstyle that I find hard to enjoy. She is quite condescending, but all in all I'd say her hoops for hair and attitude still have a charm of their own."

"...that's all? Nothing about her beauty. Not even a remotely positive thing to say about her. Now that I think about it, did you say Maryl- BOL?"

"What else is there to say Lissa? I'd say that any woman and maybe some men would fall victim to my roguish charms."

It had become well known amongst the Shepherds that their leader was horrid when making small talk and even worse with women. Lately they began to realize that the second in command was almost as much of a dunce in both areas.

A few hours after this encounter word spread fast about Robin's so called 'affection' for the woman he so aptly called hoops for hair. After a good meal in the mess tent Robin was due to read up on more strategy books when he heard an all to familiar name.

"HOOPS FOR HAIR RIGHT!?"

In the three seconds he had to turn around he remembered only what appeared to be an undersized umbrella and the woman that he had discussed with both Chrom and Lissa.

"Ah yes hello Mayba-"

The parasol mentioned before struck down the tactician of Ylisse with a fury unknown to man. It was on that day that a man was killed in his prime, denied the thing that almost all search for in life. That day Robin, Tactician of Ylisse, Second in command to Prince Chrom himself, and friend to many was beat down by the woman he loved and forever denied the sweet bliss that is romance. Or that's how everyone else who heard from Lissa saw it. Instead our lame brained tactician only remembered the THWUCK of the parasol and waking to Lissa and Chrom both assuring him that many other women would come his way. Why he cared about such a thing didn't really come to mind, but he accepted their kind words and suggested that Chrom go ask Sumia to bake a pie so that Chrom and himself could eat one. After telling him to meet him in a secluded field under the sunset with the pie that Sumia was to deliver, he simply never showed up and Chrom decided that eating Sumia's now delicious pies with the cook was better than eating alone.

END FLASHBACK

Hoops for hair. A phrase that would forever be burnt into Robin's memory as it was a constant reminder of the headache he was constantly experiencing. The strange thing being that he had completely forgotten this incident up until Chrom had mentioned what every Shepherd had told Robin was a very poor choice in a nickname for someone of Maribelle's station. He also finally learned her name which was a plus since he was soon going to apologize for what everyone else considered ill behavior, again something that he still didn't grasp. What made matters worse was the fact that when Lissa was tending to his skull, Frederick came and Robin took notice to the fact that Lissa had a small blush and had also accidentally smacked him in the head in her attempt to talk to Frederick. It seems that Frederick the Wary was very UNaware of his own Princess' feelings for him, just like Chrom after who knows how many pies and a date in the sunset was still no closer to acknowledging Sumia's feelings. It was supremely frustrating to Robin that his friends were such idiots when it came to women. Of course not all men were blessed with Robin's skill as a smooth operator as was very apparent with his interaction with Maribelle.

"Ahem. Well Robin I don't suppose that you'll tell why exactly you were looking for me?"

After being torn from his own thoughts and memory Robin realized that yet again he had spaced out in front of someone else for a prolonged amount of time. Along with his hard headed constitution, spacing out was a bit of a norm for the amnesiac tactician.

"Yes well I was wondering if you might assist me in training Donnel. I agreed to help him, but my training of the sword is somewhat limited compared to your skill."

"Ah yes the young farmhand we recruited. I'd love to help a fellow Shepherd especially if he is a bit green. Wouldn't want him tripping onto his own weapon like Sumia. Haha"

Here Robin's gears immediately began to turn. He had made a jest about Sumia, but he wasn't sure if it was in good humor or if he had done so as a sharply worded jab to demean her image. Yes now Robin had to decipher this enigma or risk setting Sumia up with a man who didn't think so highly of her. This was something that could woefully destroy the tacticians plans to set up what was once one sided love into a beautiful relationship. Unsure of his next move, Robin carefully calculated every possible move from here so he didn't end up hurting Sumia or getting Chrom into a very serious predicament with a woman he didn't love. Now Robin's true nature as tactician and wordsmith would be put into play as-

"You know Robin, I've been thinking a lot lately about my future after this war with Plegia."

-getting the information to make the correct decisions so as not to hurt either person would be-

"Huh?"

This was the man that had made every tactical decision for the Shepherds and kept every person under his command alive and all he could offer in response to Chrom was a single word that any person with half a brain could say as well.

"Well Robin it's just that I feel like I can talk to you about the serious matters of my life as you did so as well with our talk of Maribelle and... Oh sorry to bring up such a thing now." He said nervously as he scratched the back of his head. His actions alone were enough to peak Robin's interest.

"It's quite alright Chrom. I hardly remember what even transpired with that woman. So please continue, a serious conversation from one man to another." Robin was confused as to what was going on, but romance antics aside he would help his friend through any situation.

"Well you see after all those pies Sumia has baked for me and our little unexpected date in the sunset-"

Robin couldn't help but smile at this since this was all his doing and from Chrom's nervous demeanor and reddening face, it appeared that the plan our tactician hadn't actually planned was truly working.

"-I feel like maybe there could be a future for Sumia and myself after this war. I feel like I finally got to see more of the woman in Sumia than the warrior I've come to know and trust on the battlefield.

At this Robin simply had his hand on his chin and was nodding intently to give the impression that he was listening when in actuality he was stifling his smile since Chrom was actually feeling something for Sumia and his poorly thought out plan was actually working.

"Er so what say you wise tactician? What do you think I should do, I mean she is one of my subordinates and I don't know if it's appropriate for the general to be in a romantic relationship with one of his own soldiers."

It was fairly obvious that Chrom had finally broken the barrier in his head and was seeing the potential of a relationship with Sumia. Finally Robin did something that would shake the very foundations of the Shepherds and rock this world... like a hurricane.

"You know what I say Chrom!? I say you should GO FOR IT! Who cares that you're the general and she is a soldier under your command? I say you start a relationship with her and if it's good than ask her to marry you!"

At this Chrom just smiled and sheepishly said

"Thanks Robin. You definitely calmed my nerves on that one. I guess I'll try to approach her about this kind of thing."

And it is here that our dimwit of a tactician takes something good and turns it into something tragic.

"Yes and just think, should this little enterprise fail, you'll sully your reputation and send Sumia into a spiral of depression that will leave the Shepherds in a SEVERELY weakened state. Not only that, but all hope of you finding love after a failed relationship with one of your soldiers is so low that Vaike would have a better chance of courting Emmeryn should he wear and shirt and proceed to walk around with no pants on instead."

Now Robin unknowingly sent Chrom into an unstable train of thought that ended with Chrom deciding to completely avoid Sumia in hopes that the dark and foreboding future that was foretold by Robin would never come to pass. Robin on the other hand simply thought that he had given Chrom the motivation he needed to finally give Sumia the happiness she truly deserved.