Okay well I didn't really plan the first chapter much, so I left the boyfriend/ex boyfriend as nameless because I was unsure of who I wanted it to be but yeah I didn't want Sasuke as a massive asshole so I didn't make him the boyfriend plus I think Neji fits well as he thinks he is better than everyone and has an air of arrogance to him lol... so here is the new chapter and I am sorry for any mistakes or spelling errors

The blonde had been driving for a while, he drove aimlessly around the city, he didn't know what to do or where to go, he was lost, not in the directional sense of the word but his life was lost. He didn't know what the future held for him and he had already started to regret his decision to walk out on Neji. It hadn't always been like this and he could be sweet and thoughtful when he was sober. The was the key word though when, not only was he high out of his mind from the moment he left the bed to the moment his stoned mind hit the pillow late that evening. Naruto shook his head he couldn't be regretting it already but in some way he was. He felt that he didn't deserve any better, Neji was going to be the best person he could ever be with and with all his faults and addictions he still was a great person, deep, deep down.

They had been together for 4 years, 4 long years, filled with many ups and downs. Everything started out fairly well, Naruto had been seeing someone else when they had first met, the blonde had instantly been drawn to the others eyes, they were such a strange but intriguing colour, such a rarity as well. Naruto had been shy back then, many things in his life had made him retreat into his shell especially when meeting knew people. Neji had been high the first night they had meet but he was still attentive and wanting to know more about the mysterious blonde that had entered his home.

They had talked for most of the night, while Neji had smoked a few cones but didn't really pay much interest in the substance while conversing with the quiet man. As they kept talking Naruto slowly opened up, only in the way were he was more willing to say more than 'yes' or 'no' or just the nod of his head. Naruto's then relationship had been terrible, the guy was nice as anything to him in public but behind closed doors he was a fucking monster. Naruto stayed with him because he had been the first one to acknowledge the blonde and to compliment him. He seemed so nice and dependable, that was until he first time they went to a party, needless to say he was a jealous monster, Naruto couldn't even look at someone else with getting a very harsh 'lesson' when they got home.

Naruto had stayed with him, well because he couldn't explain it but he knew that no-one would want him or possible care about him if they truly knew what had happened, what he had done to himself just to a few moments of sweet nothing. No one could understand unless they thought like him but just happens to be his luck that he has a skewed sense of reality, paranoia is so engrained into the blonde, he finds hidden meanings in people's words and their actions. If someone was joking towards the blonde, he would pretend to laugh it off but deep inside it cut deeply, the words stung and for some reason he could never just see them as a joke.

Maybe that could have been from Him, Naruto will never mention his name or tell his story about what had happened to him. He had explained but nothing in detail, he can't stand the sympathy, the pity in people's eyes, it makes him feel as though he is as disgusting as what they step in, walking down the street. Everything was taken from him, his innocence, his self-worth, everything that makes a person was ripped harshly away from him. He has had trouble trusting people from then on but Neji seemed to be different, he really looked at Naruto like he was the most beautiful human being on the planet and he said the most interesting things. Naruto felt like maybe this time it would be different but the deep rumble of a voice in his head had soon shut that thought down as soon as it popped up.

Now on top the paranoia, Naruto had developed an inner voice, most of the time it was a constant war in his mind. The voice had been with him since the incident, when Naruto had first heard it, it was in the midst of sex with his previous ex, telling him to choke him, break his fucking neck, claw his eyes out, make him scream in pain as the blood rained down and splattered on the walls. Now this had freaked him out to the point where he went stock still, he was watching out of his eyes and his hand slowly moved up to his then partners neck slowly squeezing, just as the pressure had been added Naruto had snapped out of his daze and retreated his hand quickly. He never spoke of that to anyone, he never really had any friends at the time so he could trust no one, if he had of told the doctor then they would have labelled him clinically insane. So he kept that secret for a long time, among many other secrets.

The voice, it sounded aminalistic especially when talking about hurting another or encouraging the blonde to hurt himself, that he would stop screaming and talking if he just did it. Naruto had resisted, he has resisted for so long and that was okay because he could fight it but it was a losing battle, the voice, Naruto refused to give it a name made it less real, seemed to grow stronger, it seemed to pull certain strings before the blonde felt like he was trapped in his mind only being able to watch as his body refused to listen to his mind, at those moments he would always hear a deep, dark laugh that made him want to cower in fear from.

On that particular night though the voice had been very quiet when he was conversing with Neji which was strange but Naruto none the less took it as a blessing. At 5am they ended up in Neji's room laying in bed as Naruto yawned and snuggled into the blankets. Neji had reached over a trailed a hand down Naruto's side and he flinched and moved away. Neji had looked at him with concern but had left it, he had quietly asked Naruto if he could spoon the other. Naruto had nodded his head. Neji had crawled closer and pulled Naruto to his chest, he had felt Neji's desire for him, his dick poking him, standing tall and proud. This had made Naruto nervous he wasn't sure if he could trust Neji yet, so he laid there awake the whole time, as Neji's soft snores could be heard and the breath could be felt of his shoulder.

The song changed while Naruto had been lost in his thoughts...

"You tried to lie and say I was everything

I remember when I said I'm nothing without you"

Naruto hated this song at the present moment, they had found this song had been a bitter sweet song and they had done the cute couple thing and named the song theirs. Now the song had a different meaning for the blonde, it gave him courage to keep going, gave his a different outlook on a few things. Songs had that effect on him, they could alter his mindset, his mood everything. He may not know this but in the end he would be okay.

"Will I ever find anyone to truly accept me and love me, was he right when he said I am nothing and no one will ever love me" Naruto screamed in the car he hated feeling like this, he hated feeling worthless but what was he supposed to think when the people who were meant to love him, degraded him, called him hurtful names, what was he supposed to think.

Naruto continued to scream as loud as he could, he knew he should be concentrating on the road but he just couldn't help himself he was so raw, his heart had broken, his mind was a mess and the voice would NOT JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP. Naruto considered going back on the medication they had prescribed him but what was the point, sure he got a couple more hours sleep but then what, he was so zoned out all the time he could barely function in the real world. Another feral scream ripped through his sore throat he didn't care how his throat protested the harsh use of it, he didn't care that he could have a car accident, he just didn't care.

His iphone stopped playing the music and started to ring, he looked down and wished he hadn't, it was a picture of Neji while his name was across the screen. He couldn't handle this any more, he didn't know where to go or what to do, then a thought struck him, maybe just maybe his old friend would be able to help. He quickly grabbed his phone trying to find his old friends number, he hadn't been concentrating on the road and nearly swerved into the gutter, he decided it was best to pull over. The hit the call button and listened to the steady ringing, his heart squeezed tighter as it continue to ring.

"Hello"

"Hey Gaara, it's me Naruto" he voice sounded so nervous and he knew it broke a few times.

"Naruto... is that really you?" It had been such a long time since they had spoken, they had lost contact thanks to Naruto's previous ex. Naruto let out a breath it was nice to speak to Gaara after all this time.

"Yes, it's me, I need your help, please Gaara, I am out of options, I don't know what to do, I just..." Naruto ended up breaking down on the phone he hadn't meant to but the situation was slowly daunting to the blonde. All he had what was in his car and his car, no where to live, hardly any money and no boyfriend.

"Naruto, calm down, What's going on? Did Neji do something to you again?" The way Gaara had said Neji's name dripped with venom, he hated the pompous drug fiend. The guy was just way to absorbed in himself to see the damaged he had down to Naruto while he continued to party and take drugs with those dickhead people he called friends.

"I walked out on him, I just... It got too much for me... we got into a fight... I think... my nose is broken" He heard a growl rip through the others throat when he explained his nose broken, he didn't want to go into too much detail because Gaara would see it anyway.

"Where are you now, are you alright to drive to Konoha?"

"I am still in Musa... I really don't know, Gaara"

"I'll drive out. I'll bring a friend to drive your car, there in 30 minutes" The phone call ended and Naruto let out sigh, he hated depending on people, especially after the last time Neji and Naruto broke up, that is how he lost his only friend in Musa. His friend had told him to fuck off because he had went back to Neji for the 4th time, he had said he couldn't stand back and watch Naruto get hurt any more and he wouldn't. He had refused to answer any of Naruto's calls or texts and even the door. Naruto had fallen into a steep depression after that, he had attempted suicide from the loss, even though he was with Neji, he felt so empty.

As he felt now, the hollowness of his chest, it felt so empty. Naruto wanted to cry and mourn for the loss of his relationship but his eyes were locked, no tears were going to fall from them. It was almost as if the poor blonde was in shock, he had expected this day to come but it didn't hurt any less. He could never understand why he would choose drugs over him, was it his fault? Did Naruto drive him into drugs or did he enable him in some way? The blondes head was pounding in steady rhythms, each pound hurt worse than one before, his chest started to hurt. Gripping out his chest, painfully tight to try and relieve some of the pressure but no relieve came. His breathing started to increase, in short gasps of air. It was an anxiety attack, he had them but very few only once in a blue moon would he have one.

His eyes narrowed onto anything he could concentrate on, any technique he had been taught to stop his racing heart and mind. It mostly came from his mind when he over thought and was in a highly stressful situation. He had to gain control of his mind again but he saw it was going to be a difficult task as the voice liked to hinder him at all costs.

'No one is going to love you, you are going to be alone, all alone... poor Naruto, what a stupid little boy, who would love such a disgusting being such as yourself, Neji didn't love you he just used you when he needed you and you were such a good little slave, weren't you? You liked being treated like that, your a sick fuck, you are fucked up, no one will want you, no one will love you"

Naruto could hear the thoughts he hated this the most, the paranoia was hard enough, the mood swings were just bearable but the voice, it knew what to say to hurt him the most, make him vulnerable so the voice good slowly poison his mind, to control. He couldn't let him though, he had been having a good run the last two weeks, only his moods seemed to be uncontrollable but they were manageable, that was until today when he was beyond furious, it was as if a demon had possessed him.

His breathing was making him dizzy, the oxygen was beginning to become non existent. The blonde had to fight, how much longer did he have to fight, how much longer did he have to endure, to find the supposed happiness that he was destined to have.

'you aren't meant to be happy, your nothing but a waste of space, no one wants you here, you should of finished the job last time but no you couldn't even manage that, pathetic, weak, disgusting, shameful, disgrace, ugly, unwanted, pathetic.'

It was becoming harder to concentrate on anything but the voice, his breathing was making it difficult to fight, too many problems were happening at once for the blonde to handle the only thing he could think of was to blast the music so he couldn't hear anything at all, hoping it might distract him and drown the voice out at the same time. The guitar streamed out of the car stereo, it was deafening how loud it was, this would be his escape or so he could only hope.

"Can't you see,

What you don't wanna believe,

Can't you see,

If loving you was so right,

Why did it feel so wrong?"

The song was almost inspiring the band was amazing, the lead sin. A skylit drive was one of the many bands that Naruto preferred to listen to, music was an escape, the music made him feel things that he never thought he could feel, music was a whole other world. His breathing slowly restored to ragged deeper breaths, the pain in his chest became bearable. It still hurt like a fucking bitch but at least it wasn't disabling.

His phone began ringing again, he picked the device up and observed the caller id, he groaned in exasperation, why couldn't Neji leave him the fuck alone, what more could the bastard do to him or worse he would beg and plead Naruto to come back, the blonde was no where near the point of being able to refuse him, the wounds were still so unbelievably fresh. He hit the ignore button, his breathing start to pick up pace again but he soon gained himself under control before anything got out of hand again. He rest his tired head on the steering wheel letting the music drift through him and put his aching body to a almost limbo state.

His phone continued to ring, he just continued to hit the ignore button, until the name of a certain red head popped up, he quickly answered. The conversation was short, Gaara was not too far from where he had pulled over, plus with Naruto's car it was not that hard to spot, not many people drove a bright, neon orange car. Not even 10 minutes had passed by when he saw Gaara on his bike, someone was sitting behind him, he couldn't tell who it was. He let out a small smile, he needed a friend right now, he knew he was weak and couldn't do this on his own. He had a feeling that if he was to deal with it on his own he would go running back to Neji within the next few weeks.

Gaara pulled up behind him and got off the bike, the redhead was still as short as he remembered him but despite his height or lack there of he was intimidating, the tattoo only added to the fierceness of the pale boy. Naruto watched him casually stroll over to his car through the rear view mirror. His door opening as the red head pulled him out of the car, not exactly gently but the other didn't mind he was just glad he had come to collect his pathetic ass. Gaara pulled him into a hug, it wasn't exactly tight but the gesture was greatly appreciated, his his glistened but he swallowed thickly to keep from crying yet again.

'Do you really think he cares, he hates you like everyone else'

His teeth grit, his stupid demon as he like to call him always knew how to ruin a good moment for him. Gaara quickly told him he could ride on his bike to feel more comfortable since he didn't know the other all that well. The blonde just nodded and followed the pale boy. As they approached the bike the other took off their helmet, the blonde cringed seeing raven hair and a pale complexion but on further observation he realised it had not been who he thought it was, so the panic died. The other shook out his hair, the blonde was amazed considering the raven hair still managed to stick out at odd angles but then again he shouldn't have been surprised his golden hair did the same no matter what happened to it.

The blonde didn't know what to do but luckily Gaara stepped in.

"Sasuke, Naruto.. Naruto, Sasuke" The red head pointed at one and then the other. The raven shook his head and held up a hand in greeting, the blonde said a soft 'hello' grabbing the helmet during the exchange.

"Sasuke will drive your car okay?" It was more of a statement but he knew Gaara was still asking his acceptance, he just nodded placing the helmet over his head and sat on the bike he really wasn't up for conversation and he didn't even know this Sasuke person but if Gaara was hanging out with him then he obviously wasn't that bad. Gaara joined him on the bike, wrapping thin tanned arms around the others form, he idly thought that Gaara had gained a lot of muscle in his absence, they took off towards Konoha.

Towards his new life, he couldn't help but wander if this was going to be a fresh start or would it fall apart like it always does.