Disclaimer: Dragonball Z and all of its characters belong to Akira Toriyama and yada yada other bullshit organizations. All of the jokes made in this fanfic, on the other hand, might belong to nedthejanitor, or they might belong to the Angry Video Game Nerd, or some other scatology-based humorist. So if something looks similar to something else, it is entirely unintended.

Goku's fists were balled up into, uh, balls. His brain may not have been florping too well nowadays, what with the head injuries, but one thing he was sure of; this was not grapes. (He means good, FYI)

"What do you think you're doing here, Vegeta?!"

"Oh, you know… just fartin' around." And with that smug retort, his ass harmonized, letting loose a series of loud squeakers that hit King Kai's planet with machine gun force.

"Damn it, Vegeta!" King Kai shook his tiny blue fist. Truly, he is the most terrifying force in the Other World. "How did you even break into the Other World without dying?!"

"Have you ever seen what burrito gas does to a barrier between the universe and the afterlife?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?!"

"So, that's a no, then."

"Gee, how'd you guess?"

Goku flew up into the sky to face Vegeta. "Listen. I don't know how you did it, but you've tapped into a power that you can't control, and if you could just stay here in the Other World long enough for it to go away, you'd save a lot of lives."

Vegeta smirked. Goku is the only person living who doesn't take Vegeta's smirk as a sign to run the fuck away, so he returns the smile. "Don't worry, Kakarot… my business with you is more important than some earthlings."

And with that, Vegeta grabbed his ankles and placed his feet behind his head, angling his ass directly at the small King Kai planet. "Gastric Gun… FIRE!"

An earth-shattering kaboom that sounded not entirely unlike a pissed off Homer Simpson screaming "BART" came blasting out from betwixt Vegeta's royal asscheeks, turning King Kai's planet into floating chunks of rubble. Goku barely got King Kai, Gregory and Bubbles away from the blast radius in time to stop them from dying prematurely, or in this case, immaturely.

"Shame on you, Vegeta!" Goku screamed. "Your wind broke King Kai's planet!"

"Kiss my ass, you low-class dog! …Actually, don't, because your face will literally just melt off if you get too close! Like, have you ever seen that one Indiana Jones movie where the guy's face gets melted off?!"

Goku's eyes narrowed. "If that's the way you want it, Vegeta…" Going Super Saiyan, Goku hiked his leg up and BOOM went the dynamite! Vegeta was knocked backwards, and as he careened into the infinite nothing, Goku appeared behind him and kicked him back toward King Kai's destroyed planet. He broke through two chunks of floating rubble before stopping himself and going Super Saiyan as well.

"Not bad, Kakarot," Vegeta said in a condescending tone. "If you keep up the pace, you might actually make me start trying."

"I've had a lot of experience with this sort of thing," said Goku in reply.

"Fighting or farting?"

"…Yes."

Vegeta's grin turned upside down. "I know where you stole that joke from-"

But the saiyan prince was interrupted by yet another surprise attack from Goku, getting a nice kick to the stomach as punishment for his guard being down. A terrible wave of anus air was forced out from Vegeta's, you guessed it, belly button. Nah, it was his anus, I'm just joshing.

"Stop it, both of you!" King Kai screamed. "You're going to destroy the Other World expelling that kind of power!"

"It wouldn't be the first time one of my expulsions destroyed something," Vegeta answered gruffly. "And anyway, what could I possibly destroy? There's nothing around here for miles and miles."

()()()

Meanwhile, at Grand Kai's place…

"Whoa!" Grand Kai stood from his throne of rock 'n' roll and addressed the one dude who was assigned to hang around and make Grand Kai feel less lonely. "Are you smelling that right now?"

"Yes, sir," said the put-upon dude, "we warned you about the hors d'oeuvres at that party an hour ago, but would you listen?"

"No, no, that wasn't me! I recognize that smell! Something very bad is happening right now! Something that has only ever happened once in the history of the universe before today!"

"And that would be…?"

"…The Legendary Super Saiyan!"

The companion's face went pale. He understood exactly what the Grand Kai was talking about. The universe was nearly destroyed last time there was a true Super Saiyan of legend. Thankfully, the Saiyan died before his rampage could be completed.

"What are we going to do, Grand Kai?"

"Oh, now you call me Grand Kai, instead of 'Grand Lie.'"

"You heard that?!"

"Yes, and we'll discuss your job as a dishwasher later. For right now, I need you to get me Olibu and Pikkon, and we're going to try and contain this shit."

()()()

Goku and Vegeta stood mere feet from each other, holding a pointless staring contest without rules.

"Kakarot's a Super Saiyan, but he seems far less in control of his fartillery than I am…" A sneer appeared on his chiseled face. "This is simply a matter of outlasting him. He'll have to tire out sooner or later…unless I use my new attack…"

"Gee, I wonder if Vegeta's going to need to borrow some Pepto after I'm finished winning the fight…" One of Goku's blonde eyebrows cocked. "I hope he doesn't have any allergies or he'll sue…"

"AARGH!" Goku screamed in pain and rage as he pinched off his nose, trying to mask a terrible odor. He knew that Vegeta was responsible for it, but what he didn't understand is how he'd managed to sneak that one through.

"Silent but deadly, Kakarot," the Saiyan Prince said with a slight chuckle, as if reading the other warrior's mind. "It's a technique I perfected on the way here."

Goku continued to hold his hand over his face, his eyes watering so much that he failed to see the scenery beginning to melt. The once pink tint of the Other World sky was greening with rotten air, and King Kai watched, horrified, while the last remnants of his ruined planet melted while still in mid-air.

"What have you done, Vegeta?!" King Kai yelled. Before Vegeta retort, a voice from behind him answered King Kai.

"We have arrived too late, Olibu," said Pikkon through the hand on his own face.

TO BE CONTINUED