Rick had been in a state of terrified paranoia all morning, obsessively checking the windows and the doors, going through the safe in the wall of his office to make sure his passport and emergency bundle of cash were there and ready to grab. He knew he was worrying Kate, who had woken only an hour after he had spoken with the faceless man and was currently watching him pace around the loft after inquiring what was wrong multiple times and only getting forced reassurances from him. He'd wanted to tell her everything, immediately, but he wasn't sure if his source was reliable yet and he wouldn't risk scaring her. But when Ryan and Esposito showed up on his doorstep looking grim and devastated, he knew the mystery caller from that morning had been telling the truth.
"Someone called me earlier," Castle blurted when they were all huddled around his coffee table.
Esposito, who was the only member aside from Rick who didn't have tears blurring his vision, turned on him immediately.
"What do you mean someone called you?"
"A man - called himself Smith - said he was a friend of Montgomery's, and that he - that Montgomery was dead."
Kate's head jerked towards him.
"You knew he was dead and you didn't tell me?" she asked incredulously, hurt quickly creeping into the dark pools of her pained eyes.
"I didn't know if it was real," he told her, subtly sliding a hand over her knee and squeezing, needing her to believe him, needing her to remain at his side.
"Yo, what else did he say?" Esposito demanded from the armchair across from them.
"He said that they were coming for him, and then…" The lump in his throat made his words get stuck and Kate covered his hand with her own, willed him to continue with the desperate need to know burning in her gaze.
"Castle," she pressed softly.
"He said Beckett was next."
The room went still, the two detectives stiffening instantly before sharing a glance, but Kate only dropped her eyes, like she had expected it.
Ryan blinked and looked to Castle. "Did he say why or when or-"
"He hung up after that. The only other thing he mentioned was some files. He's going to send me some files that could do some serious damage," Rick murmured tiredly, scrubbing at his jaw with the hand that wasn't clutching Kate's.
"Do you think… could they maybe contain the identity of my mother's killer? The person who hired Coonan?"
Castle wanted to cringe at the determination in her eyes, the damn near excited flicker of having a lead. He was glad she wasn't panicking, sure, but some regard for her own life would be comforting.
"It's possible, but Kate…" His sentence trailed, but he knew she could read what he wasn't saying in the pained expression he couldn't control and she curled her fingers around his forearm.
"We can put her in protective custody," Ryan suggested, but Beckett immediately moved to reject it.
"I'm not going anywhere. Maybe this way we can lure them out, I can-"
"No," Castle barked. "You are not going to risk your life to play bait."
"Your boy's right, Beckett. Way too dangerous," Esposito conceded and Rick was so thankful for the reinforcement. He would handcuff her to the bed if he had to; he wasn't letting her put her own life in jeopardy.
"Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a moment?" Kate asked through gritted teeth, though it was quite clear that it was not a question.
Rick nodded and rose with her, followed her around the bar and settled against the refrigerator with his back to the boys while she glared daggers at him.
"I am not leaving."
"Kate, I could take you somewhere, anywhere, wherever you want to go. Just for a little while." He was begging and he knew it, but he had to at least try, even if it was truly pointless.
"Castle, she was my mother and this is my life. I trust Ryan and Esposito, but I have to be the one to close this. I can't run away and hide and just wait for it to be over."
"It wouldn't have to be forever," he murmured, the defeat already lacing through his voice. "Just until this immediate threat on your life lets up."
"Will it ever?" she questioned, crossing her arms over her chest, but he still reached for her hip, willed her closer.
Her eyes flickered to the living room, but the boys weren't paying attention – or they were doing a really convincing job of pretending they were fascinated by the gaming system Rick never had the time to play – and she slid her hand onto his side, splayed her fingers to fit between the spaces of his ribs.
"I can fight them now," she whispered earnestly.
But Castle shook his head; the loss, the hatred, her determined desire to fight burning like a fire in the dark forest of her eyes draining it all from him. She would never back down from this and there was nothing he could say or do that would change that.
"If I lose you, I won't - I can't-"
She covered his mouth with her own, soothing his fears with the caress of her lips and the stroke of her tongue, and Rick curved his arm around her waist to keep her there, kissing her in a way he knew made her dizzy. Sure enough, her knees wavered and her hips canted into his. He couldn't stop her, but he could remind her how good it was between them, what was at stake. He let her break away when there was a low whistle from the living room.
"Remember what you said before?" she mumbled, bumping her nose against his. Her focus on him, only him for just a moment. "We'll get through this. Together."
He wanted to believe her. He wanted to.
But he didn't.
Castle and Beckett got ready for Montgomery's funeral together but in silence. He dressed in all black and she did the same, a pair of tights under her slimming dress to combat the late February chill, her hair in a knot at her neck with her long bangs in wisps dancing along the edges of her cheeks.
The majority of her wardrobe shared the closet with his, as did all of her bathroom products in his en suite, and as wrong as it was in that moment, he felt hope flutter in his chest at the sight of her picking a coat from the same rack as his and plucking a bobby pin from the shelf where all of her hair products had taken residence.
"I made you coffee, and some toast."
Kate met his eyes in the bathroom mirror, offered him a crumbling smile that was hardly a smile at all.
"I don't think I can do food right now, but coffee sounds good," she replied quietly.
"You okay?" he asked after she had applied the last of her makeup and was stepping into the sleek black stilettos she had bought the week before during her time with Lanie. "I mean, as okay as you can be considering the circumstances."
"Yeah," she rasped, drifting over to straighten his tie. "Just stay close?"
Castle nodded, not that he had ever planned to leave her side in the first place.
"Of course."
Kate sighed and dropped her forehead to his chest, resting there for only a moment, but he welcomed it, welcomed the sign that she was showing any type of emotional toll at all.
She hadn't flinched, not since the boys had left yesterday afternoon and not during the long, silent night that had followed. The cold, calculating look had remained on her face for a near 24 hours, but there were moments, just brief handfuls of seconds, where she let it fall away.
In his bed, she had curled around him, weaving their limbs together until their bodies had formed an inseparable cocoon where she had actually found sleep for a couple of hours, and in the shower that morning she had wrapped her arms around him from behind, pressed her forehead to the skin between his shoulder blades, just holding on as the water cascaded down upon them both. She was doing the same now, arms around his torso, face hidden in his neck, eyelashes fluttering against his skin as she closed them and inhaled deeply, as if she were drawing strength from these points of solitude.
Again, he bit back the three words he wanted to say to her, knowing they would likely suck the strength out of her rather than fuel it, and splayed his hand at her back instead.
"The last conversation we had was about my reinstatement. That's all I cared about," she muttered. "I wish…"
She didn't finish, and his hand slid up to her nape, squeezed in a gesture of comfort.
Rick had never received the chance to meet her captain, but she had spoken highly of her mentor, her description of him akin to one of a second father, and Castle had looked forward to the day he would have been able to put a face to the name and the stories. This wasn't how he had imagined it.
He could tell she felt out of place inside the church, even looked a little hurt seeing all of her friends and colleagues dressed in their uniforms while she wore the attire of a civilian. But many of those officers and detectives still acknowledged her like she was still one of their own, with the utmost respect, and it seemed to ease her discomfort and fuel her determination to reclaim her place among them.
Castle could only be selfishly glad she wasn't pushing him away. Throughout the eulogy, she kept one of her hands cradled in his, rubbing her thumb along his skin, her ministrations speeding up whenever her emotions threatened to push over the edge of their confines.
At the burial service, he kept their hands tangled in his coat as they watched her captain's casket being lowered into the ground. Kate still refused to cry, kept the line of her mouth strict and her gaze steady, only occasionally tightening her fingers around his.
They were preparing to move into the stream of people lining up to give their final condolences to Montgomery's family, but a brief flash of light, a shimmer among the rows of tombstones, caught his eye. Once, then twice, and he already knew that the time to heed Smith's warning was up.
Castle lunged for her.