"Y' chew 'em nails any 'arder and there'll be none fuckin' left", Spoke Chloe with a scoff and laugh. Finn pulled himself out of his daze and averted his gaze onto her, frowning a clueless look. She then rolled her eyes, "Stop. Biting. Y'. Nails", Before she then pushed his hand gently away from his mouth. He huffed his chest and fidgeted slightly before returning back to his lunch - well more like picking at it. He, Chloe, Johnny and Archie were sat at their regular table in the college canteen - Rae and Al nowhere to be seen. As Izzy's bump was slowly growing, she took herself out of college - relying on Chop to work overtime and late shifts.
It had been two days since Finn's midnight walk, and he still couldn't shake the feeling of unease - the feeling of eyes burning into the back of his head; still faintly crawling under his skin and making him tense and skitish. Paranoia drilled into his brain like never before and the dark looming figure kept him awake at night, almost as if he or she was insomina in human form. The buzz of conversation and the loud clinking of cutlery set Finn's teeth on edge - why couldn't everyone be quiet for one fucking second? Jesus, you would think it was a zoo and not a shitty excuse for a place where you got your weekly dose of education. Then again, with Stacey Stringfellow and her clan; you'd have no chance of bliss and peace.
Finn sat up slightly, puffing out his chest and glanced over his shoulder; catching a glimpse of her... His heart ached with how lonely she looked. Her hair covered her face, like dark curtains - hiding her away from the world. He needed to see her, see her properly - but she wouldn't look up. She wouldn't dare, not with the chance of Al possibly catching her - not that Finn knew that. Finn just thought she was being ignorant and didn't want to make eye contact; in fear of any of the four walking over and trying to get her to come and join them. Finn then clocked Stacey and her little gang of sheep, grinning as they drank in Rae - like a bird stalking it's prey. He felt the dread drip from his chest and pool at his stomach as he watched Stacey's ginger tosser of a boyfriend called Mark Jamerson rise to his feet and hone in on Rae. He watched as Mark leaned in, whispering something in her ear. Finn watched with anger as her face fell, her eyes squeeze shut before she shot to her feet and scurried out the room; head down and embarassment tinted on her cheeks. Finn's knuckles turned white and his stomach settled uneasily as he watched Mark swagger back over to his crew and grin at them; as if he had discovered the cure for cancer.
Finn couldn't stand by and let her run off like that, he needed to find out where she was going and whether she was safe, "Goin' t' toilet, be back in a minute", He then rose to his feet, tossing his satchel over his shoulder and grabbing his leather jacket off his seat before he jogged out the canteen before Chloe or any of the others could call him back.
Finn headed out into the deserted hallway, looking frantically left and right to catch a glimpse of her plaid t-shirt as she ran down the steps; heading for - what he presumed to be - the toilets. He took no time into kicking his pace straight into a jog. He jogged down the steps and turned the left corner; just in time to see her turn right and down the dark corridor - he knew exactly where she was headed. A place where he and Rae had spent most of the first year getting high and bunking lessons; the abandoned boys changing rooms round the corner from the 'Sports Science' Classroom.
He turned the right-hand corner; to see her head straight inside the changing rooms. He took no time into opening the door and popping his head in, calling out gently, "Rae?" No response, but the squeak of her converse against the glossy floor was enough for him to step inside; locking the door after him. He threw his bag off and chucked it onto the floor; along with his coat, "Rae?" He questioned, once more. The only response to be his voice echoing off the off-white tiled walls due to the acoustics of the room. He sighed before advancing towards the door-shaped gap that seperated the actual changing room and the showers, he peaked his head around to see it empty; causing a frown to grace his forehead - which softened as he noticed her red converse on the floor of the closed toilet cubicle one minute and then gone the next.
His inner and geekier version of 007 was released; he crept stealthily and carefully as he could. He then softly asked, "Rae?" Before pushing the door, to be met by a 'Go away' From Rae and a locked toilet door. He then pressed, "Look, Rae, I know y' not speakin' t' me right now but I just wanted t' know if y' alright", He jumped slightly as she booted the door and shouted, "I said GO AWAY!" A sob then left her lips, in which he couldn't help but want to slice that cunt Mark - wanting to cut every inch of his skin until he was nothing but a skewered carcass and bone. He just couldn't understand why people had to say something. Yes, Rae wasn't thin like the others but she was funny, loud, kind, caring, pretty and although Finn would never dare admit this to her; she had fucking class taste in music. So, what was Mark's problem? So, she was big... And what. Finn didn't care, nor did Archie, nor did most of the college but that evil little gang of knuckle draggers and sluts just had to point out the fact Rae was big.
Whenever she and Finn would walk through town; it'd make his jaw clench and teeth grit whenever someone would stare and Rae would cringe and glance downwards. If someone was in a wheelchair, would everyone stare then? If someone had a disability, would everyone laugh and point at them? Finn simply couldn't stand the world for it's sickening ability to be judgemental within the first five seconds of laying eyes on a person. One of the reasons why he detested Kate Moss so much, when she once quoted to a magazine "Nothing taste good as skinny feels" He felt like kicking every one of her perfectly aligned teeth in. Sure, she was hot but he would bet his life that she was probably the most boring fucker to have a conversation with - what would be the point of shagging a bag of bones if you couldn't discuss the genuis of Morrissey? Exactly. He would take a conversation with Rae over shagging the Kate Moss's of the world any day. Although Finn had to admit, if this was two years ago and if he saw a girl overweight who wasn't Rae; chances are he'd be exactly the same as Mark but then when finding a tiny paragraph in Rae's diary about her self-hatred - it was enough to put him on the straight and narrow. How he could've been like Mark in any point of his life bewildered Finn.
Hence why he now found himself leaning with his back against the toilet door and his arms folded - too stubborn to move. A wave of nerves washed over him as she sniffed and her voice wavered as she asked, "Wha' d'y' want, Finn?" He knew the answer but yet his mouth wouldn't move, well maybe the fact he wanted many things - many answers - and they were all jammed in the doorway of his voicebox in which it stopped him from speaking one of them. He then focused on his original mission and simply stated, "I just wanted t' know if y' were alright", She then snapped, "I'm fuckin' fine, now will y' piss off?" He then inwardly scoffed and shook his head, "I don't get why y' just don't talk t' me", "Cause I don't want t'", He rolled his eyes, "Am only tryin' t' help", He heard her scoff, "Yeh, well I don't want y' help, now fuck off."
He then moved back slightly, knowing if he stood too close then she could see his feet and his next move. He then lowered himself down to his knees and then stomach, with as much grace as he could manage. His eyes scoped the floor, before landing on the toilet. He slowly trailed his eyes upwards to see her, knees to her chest and sadness upon her face - what did Mark say that was so bad? Now, Rae wasn't exactly Rambo... But nor was she a child; she could take nasty words and she could, sometimes, take the stares and sniggers. So, what could some ginger dickhead have said to crack her as well as he did? Maybe she was on her period... Finn grimaced at the thought.
Nah, she'd rip Mark's head off and shit down his neck if she was on the blob.
He then took a chance and spoke, "I saw... I saw Mark talk-" But was cut off by Rae screeching, "Wha' part of 'fuck off' D'y' not get!? Y' useless prick!" Before throwing a textbook under the door and it smacked Finn in the face. He hissed as he clutched his face and shot to his feet. Jesus, she had good aim.
He knew fully well he wasn't going to win, Rae could be a right stubborn cow. He clutched his cheek as he scoffed, shook his head and turned; swiftly leaving the showers. He headed for the door, shrugging on his jacket and bag. He went to unlock the door when an idea hatched... He then began rattling the handle and spoke in a loud whisper... Loud enough for her to hear, "Oh fu... Ck", He then heard from the toilet, "Finn?" He then heard the toilet door swing open and her feet scuffle along the floor, "Oh no..." He groaned before he then turned to see her by his side; her herbal essences shampoo wafting in his direction. Her face dropped and grew pale as the relisation began setting in as she took in the sight before her putting two and two together, her stomach dropped as he winced, "It's jammed", The panic then sunk in for her, in which she then pushed him out the way and began to frantically rattle the door handle - it in fact was "Jammed"... Or so she thought. She then rested her forehead against the door and whined, "This can't be 'appenin'... Fuck this", He watched as she lifted her head, turned and slid down the door; taking a place on the floor. He frowned and looked down, "Wha' y' doin'?" She then looked up at him, huffing and throwing her hands up, "No fuckin' point in panickin', might as well just sit here till the bell goes and then we panic", He then pouted his bottom lip and slightly nodded his head in agreement, "Fair enough", He then shrugged off his jacket and bag, placing his jacket down to resememble a, somewhat, shitty excuse for a cushion. He then took place on his supposed comfy spot, which she frowned out before asking, "Wha' the fu... ck, are y' doin'?" He shrugged, "Might as well get comfy", "Finn, the bell's due in fifteen minutes", "Least I'll be comfy", She rolled her eyes at him before folding her arms and it grew silent. After a few minutes or so passed, Finn then began to whistle and fidget; to fill the silent tension.
He just prayed she didn't realise that you couldn't hear the bell from this part of the building.
Rae grew more and more annoyed by the light and cheery tune that came from Finn's lips, she slowly turned and glowered at him - until he noticed. His whistle drawled to a stop as he looked at her, "Wha'?" She then threatened, "Y' whistle one more time and I swear I'll rip y' fuckin' throat out", The pair held their eye contact for a brief moment before Finn scoffed and broke it, "Fuckin' 'ell, time of the month or wha'", She then shook her head and snapped, "Not every time am angry means am on me fuckin' period, it's just when stupid annoying dick'eds do stupid fuckin' whistlin' noises-" He cut her off with a smirk and asked, eyebrows raised, "Whistlin' noises?" She glowered at him before shaking her head and looking away, "Oh piss off."
And once again; tense silence.
Finn tried his best to keep the cheery tune of 'Kinky Afro' By The Happy Mondays from leaving his lips and took all his energy out on his fingers as they drummed against his thighs. Rae then inwardly scoffed before huffing, "Y' must be kiddin' me", In which he protested, "Well I can't 'elp it, y'know I don't like it being quiet. Look, 'ow about we play a game o' twenty questions or summat?" She then mocked, "OR 'ow 'bout we play a game of who can shut the fuck up the longest?!" He gave her a look, before she then huffed, giving in, "Y' go first", A smile broke out onto his face in which he moved forward, swivelled round and then laid down - causing Rae to give him a look that read 'You are a freak'. He sat up, "C'mon, Rae, if we're gonna play then we 'ave t' do it properly", "And since 'ave we ever played it like this!?" In which he mocked her tone, "Since uh like forever", Off her confused frown; he continued, "Ever since we were kids we 'ave always played twenty questions whilst lying top an' tail", She gave him a look, holding her gaze before quipping, "The bullshit y' come out wi' amazes me sometimes", Despite the eyeroll he gave, he couldn't help but grin before he knocked his leg against her's and softly pleaded, "Please?" She took a moment before huffing as she moved forward slightly and laid down, in which he took as a cue to lie upon his own back.
A moment or two passed before Finn asked, "Right, ok, if y' 'ad t' be a superhero for the rest of y' life.. Who would it be?" "Wonderwoman, no question", In which he took a moment and frowned, "Y' serious?" She nodded, "Yeh... Why?" He scoffed, a faint frown still upon his forehead; lifting his head slightly to make sure she caught his glare, "Cause like Wonderwoman is one of the shittest superheros y' could get", She then snapped, "Bollocks! Wonderwoman is the female equivilant to Superman", He laid his head back down and scoffed a laugh, "Exactly, female equivilant", Her mouth gaped open before she then smacked his leg, causing him to let out a pained laugh. Another moment or so passed before it was her turn, "Right, my turn... Hmm, ok, right if y' could live anywhere in the world where would it be, wha' 'ouse would y' 'ave, who would be y' ideal neighbour and who would y' live with?" One arm now rested underneath his head as a support and his other laid upon his stomach, "Tha's cheatin'!" In which she frowned, "'ow?!" "Cause, y' can't 'ave tha' many questions in one go", Her frown softened and transcended into an eyeroll; he was such a bore when it came down to rules, "It's techincally not loadsa questions, but one big one", But Finn being Finn wouldn't let it go and decided to become his four year old self, "Is not", Rae took a moment... Was he really starting this? She inwardly scoffed, incredible. Well, if you couldn't beat them then you might as well join them.
"Is too", She retaliated. Knowing he was getting somewhere with her, he couldn't help but smile as he quipped, "Is not."
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Is."
"Isn't."
"Iiiiis."
"Is nooooot."
She then smacked his leg, "Shut up", In which he smacked her leg back, "Make me", They took a moment before the pair, all whilst laying down, smacked each other's legs before Finn then grabbed her by the wrist; sat them both upright and planted his lips upon her's. The two then grew into it, grabbing fistfuls of each other's t-shirts - unable to feel enough of each other as the more they grew into it... When something snapped in Rae's brain, almost as if finger's were clicked in front of her face. She then pulled away, in which he gave her his infamous droopy eyed "Puppy look". She shook her head as he asked, "Rae?" She said nothing but rose to her feet.
He could simply do nothing but watch as she tried to unlock the door. After watching her struggles and pathetic attempts, he said nothing but rose to his feet and simply unlocked the door. She said nothing, unable to look at him - a disgust for herself she had never known. He watched her as she scuttled away before slamming the door shut and laying down on his back upon the floor, he placed his hands over his eyes and let out a frustrated groan before replacing his hands upon his face.
Why did everything have to be so fucking dramatic all the bloody time? This wasn't some soap they saw on the television. This was real life. Sure, half of what the pair had been through would be something you thought could only happen in books or on telly. But no, this was happening. This was what it was like to be a teenager in the 90s in Stamford, one of the most boring cities in Britain. What else were they were supposed to do other than drink, argue, have sex and get high? Especially in a time where kids from as young as thirteen were popping pills and dropping their knickers left, right and center. Surely this was all real and that this did all happen in other places also. Surely other kids his age were drinking and shooting up every weekend, as well as shagging in bushes. Surely other kids lives were as dramatic as an episode of Eastenders, just like his. Surely, it had to be - it couldn't have just been happening to just him. But to be honest, if Finn was told to write all this down; even he would laugh at how fake it sounded - scribbling 'BOLLOCKS' In big, fat, red-tip pen across it like a warning sign. Finn would have never thought his life would've involved a stalker, a love triangle and everything in between; nor would've he expected the insanity and how fiction it all seemed.
And he spent six weeks in a mental hospital with a guy who wore two hats as his best friend.
To bring all this bullshit to a pause for an hour or two; he decided he needed a lads night out and fuck it - he was even going to invite Al.