Everything He Is - Chapter 3
by Kadi
Rated: T
It was barely twilight outside when Sharon woke. Something felt off in the apartment. She rolled onto her back, disoriented and still half asleep while she listened. The mobile had stopped playing, but it still glowed with a soft blue light, illuminating the bassinet at the foot of the bed. Sharon sat up and craned her head, checking on the baby. He slept peacefully. A glance at the bedside clock indicated why it was that she felt so heavy and weary. He had only been down for an hour. It was barely four in the morning. Sharon yawned and stretched, a grimace twisted her face unpleasantly when the incision site, low on her abdomen, gave an uncomfortable twinge. Only a couple of weeks post op, and she was healing, but not yet fully healed. She swept a hand, tiredly, over her face and pushed her hair back. Her head inclined, and she listened. She realized at once what had awakened her. She heard the shower running.
Sharon's heart fluttered. A smile tugged at her lips. She hadn't seen Andy since leaving him at Headquarters. That was a day ago. She had spoken to him, as well as following the case on the news. She knew they were getting close. Sharon rolled off the bed and crossed the room to slip into the attached master bath. She pushed the door closed behind her and turned on the baby monitor that was kept on the vanity.
The shower was encased in a wall of clear glass, fogged over from the heat of the shower. Steam filled the room, warming her through and causing her skin to flush. She found him, head bent, arm braced against the tile and water cascading over him. The tension in his shoulders quickly chased away the giddiness which filled her at realizing he was home. "Andy."
He lifted his head and looked at her. His eyes were dark, filled with pain and regret. He was hoping to wash away the hell that the case had inflicted before sliding into bed beside his wife. He needed a meeting, and he would do that first thing in the morning, but he needed her first. Andy reached out and pushed the door open, an invitation for her to join him. His eyes swept over her. She wore one of his t-shirts, and it barely reached her thighs. Her hair was mussed, and her face scrubbed free of any makeup, but she was still the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. He exhaled as his heart swelled, surprise sweeping through him as it usually did with the realization that this woman could love him, belong to him, be with him. She was his, as he was hers. Andy couldn't imagine what he'd done to deserve this, to deserve her, but he could only pray that he kept doing it. "Hey," he said, finally finding his voice. He watched her eyes fill with concern and shook his head. "We got 'im."
Sharon nodded slowly. "What happened." She held onto the open shower door and leaned against the opposite side, weight on one foot. He had looked better. It was a hard one, she knew.
Andy shook his head. He swept a hand over his hair, pushing the wet locks back. He sighed. "Sanchez shot him, but we lost another vic. Girl, fifteen. Son of a bitch got to her before we could get to him. Julio is out until FID clears him, so it's going to be a few days—" He trailed off and shook his head with a half grin. "What am I saying? You wrote the book."
"Hm." A corner of her mouth lifted into a smile. "Indeed I did." Sharon's eyes swept over him and she found him whole, if a bit frayed around the edges. "I'm sorry," she murmured.
"It was a bad one," he told her. "That's all. It was always going to end badly. We were just hoping we'd get to him first. Fifteen, Sharon…" He shook his head again and tipped it back beneath the steaming spray.
She drug her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched him. Her heart ached for him, the victims, and their families. Fifteen was damned young. It made her think of Rusty, and how different things could have gone for him. Sharon made a decision and swept the t-shirt over her head. She wriggled out of the rest of her clothes and stepped into the shower with him. While she hated the idea of teasing him, she needed to hold him as much as he needed to be held. She slipped in behind him and rocked up onto the balls of her feet as her arms slipped around his middle. Sharon placed a kiss between his shoulder blades before leaning up and pressing her face into his neck. "I'm here," she said softly. "I'm right here."
His hands came up to cover hers, where they lay against his chest. Andy tipped his head to the side, so that they were pressed together. He stood for just a moment, water flowing over both of them, and enjoyed the feel of her pressed against him. The need for more had him turning. He brought his hands up to her face, fingers gentle as he traced the familiar lines. He pushed her hair back, damp now and beginning to curl, and caressed her cheeks. His thumbs swept gently over her eyelids, down the line of her nose. He followed their path with his lips, soft kisses which touched her temple, the curve of each cheek, and the tip of that nose that he loved so much. The slight upturn of her lips into a small smile beckoned him and he pressed a light kiss there as well.
Her hands were hardly idle. They smoothed over his chest and down his sides. Then they moved back up again, over his arms, fingers skirting his biceps until they came to rest at his shoulders. When he tipped her head back, she leaned in to him. His mouth covered hers and it was slow and unhurried. His hands slid down her body, only just skirting the sides of her breasts, and finally coming to rest against her waist. There was only so much that she could give him right now, and when his face pressed into the curve of her neck, she curled her arms around him and held on tightly.
They stood like that for some time, until the water began to lose its heat. As it turned toward lukewarm, Andy reached back and turned it off. He kept an arm around his wife as they as they moved out of the glass enclosed stall, letting go of her only to draw a towel around her body. He dropped another light kiss to the tip of her nose. "Beautiful."
The sincerity in his gaze made her heart flutter. She was a good fifteen pounds heavier than was usual for her, and then there were the stretch marks and the healing incision. She touched her fingers to his jaw and leaned up to kiss him. "Flattery will get you almost anywhere, Mr. Flynn."
"I can only hope, Mrs. Flynn." He loved watching her eyes light up when she heard that. She got to hear it so seldom. Professionally it was still Raydor, and he could understand that. She had built quite a reputation as Captain Raydor. Anyone hearing Captain Flynn would laugh themselves stupid thinking that he had been promoted, and never believe it possible. It also set them apart, separated their life at home from the job that they had to do. It never bothered him, it was necessary.
"Come to bed," she told him, and reached for the t-shirt she discarded earlier. She left him to dress and moved quietly into the bedroom to do the same. She checked on Ian and drew the light receiving blanket back over his legs. He wouldn't sleep swaddled, and like his father, he managed to kick the blanket away while he slept. An arm curled around her from behind and she smiled when Andy's chin rested against her shoulder.
He reached into the bassinet and touched his son's tiny hand. "I was hoping he'd be awake," he whispered against her ear.
"Hm." She glanced at the clock beside the bed. "He will be soon enough. Come on…" Sharon maneuvered him toward the bed. When he lay down, she joined him, head laying against his shoulder as she curled against him. She hummed when his hand moved into her damp hair and began to gently rub her scalp. Falling asleep wasn't such a hard thing for her these days, she was perpetually tired, which was completely normal, but she gently rubbed his chest until she felt him begin to relax beside her. Only then did she really allow the heaviness of sleep to sweep over her.
As she predicted, all too soon a low mewling came from the direction of the bassinet. It started quietly, as it always did, and their son's cries grew in volume and demand until it registered their sleep fogged minds. Andy groaned as he rolled onto his back. His head ached from too little sleep. Beside him, he felt Sharon moving, but lay a hand on her hip. "I'll get him." He rubbed a hand over his face and pulled his tired body out of the bed. When he reached the bassinet, Ian was waving his fists and kicking his feet as he made his displeasure known. "Come here pal." Andy lifted the baby and held him against his chest for a moment, just wanting to hold him after being so absent of late. He felt badly for that, worried he was repeating past mistakes, even if this time it couldn't be avoided. He knew otherwise, honestly, but it didn't stop him worrying. "Yeah, I hear ya," he carried him over to the changing table they had forced into a corner of the room and lay him on it. "We're gonna have to do something about that temper, little man." He made quick work of the diaper before he lifted him again. When he returned to the bed, Sharon was waiting. She held out an arm and covered a yawn with her other hand. "Sweetheart, go back to sleep. I can get a bottle."
"No, it's okay." She wriggled her fingers and reached for the baby again. This time he was settled into her arms. The t-shirt was pushed out of her way and she lay back, pillows stacked against the headboard. It was surprising how much that was habit could come back in a matter of days. She tipped her head back and let her eyes close, only half dozing while the baby nursed. Her hand was patting gently against his bottom, while her thumb gently stroked the back of his head. A warm hand splayed across her stomach and she smiled when she felt a kiss caress her shoulder. Sharon hummed when those same lips brushed her ear. "Go back to sleep," she murmured. "I've got him."
"Nope." He lay on his side, head propped in his hand and watched them. It was getting lighter outside, and the room was illuminated in shades of gray. "I like the view." He leaned over, kissed the top of the small head. The soft, down of dark hair tickled his nose. Andy suspected he would have his mother's coloring, even if it was a bit early to tell. His eyes were still a deep shade of blue, but darker now than they'd been at birth. Time would tell if they'd end up brown or some shade of hazel. After another minute, Andy sat up. He rearranged the pillows behind him and leaned back. "Come here." She was exhausted, he knew. He pulled her over between his legs and settled her so that her back was to his chest. Andy drew a blanket over them and kissed the top of her head. "Sleep," he said. "I've got you both."
She hummed quietly again. It was just too enticing an offer to refuse. She settled her head against the crook of his neck and allowed herself to relax against him. "Love you," she slurred, already sliding back into slumber.
"Yeah," he whispered. "Me too, babe." A hand splayed across her stomach again, gently stroking. His other arm, he slipped beneath hers, helping to support Ian. She was a beautiful woman, but as a mother she was extraordinary. It was worth a few minutes of lost sleep, to be able to hold her like this, to witness this miracle and to be thankful for it. They'd gotten lucky, and he knew that they were oh so blessed. He could have lost either or both of them at any point during the pregnancy or delivery and for one devastatingly frightening moment, he almost had. That fear was still too fresh in his mind, and his heart still seized with reliving it. Andy pushed those thoughts aside, no good could come of dwelling in what could have happened, rather than what did. The evidence was in his arms, even if it did feel like a dream at times. A strange, absurd, ludicrous dream that bordered on being a farce, and yet it was also an incredibly beautiful dream.
Andy tipped his head back against the headboard and allowed his eyes to close. He dozed comfortably with his wife and his son in his arms. When his eyes opened again, the early morning sunlight was casting the room in hues of gold and scarlet. His neck ached, and his back was throbbing. He didn't care. Andy looked down and found a pair of big, deep blue eyes looking back. Ian was gurgling happily, eyes wide and staring at nothing, unable yet to focus on any one thing. He slanted a look sideways and he found his wife still asleep on his shoulder. "Shh," he placed a finger against his lips and carefully, slowly, shifted on the bed to lay her down. She hummed quietly, but he slipped Ian out of her arms before he could squawk in disapproval at the change and lifted the baby against his shoulder. Andy pulled the blanket over her and stood. He carried Ian with him out of the room, snagging a fresh diaper as he went.
He went to the kitchen first and started a pot of coffee, managing even with bleary eyes to complete the task with Ian tucked into the crook of his arm. Perhaps, he thought, there was something to be said for having a baby at their age, they pretty much had the mechanics mastered. While the coffee was brewing, he dealt with the wet diaper situation. Then he poured himself a cup and walked over to kick back on the sofa. He smirked as his feet hit the coffee table. "Mom will have my ass when she catches me," he muttered. "But she's not up yet." He cued on the news and sank into the soft cushions, the baby still tucked into the crook of his arm. He sighed when the pain in his back eased. Ian cooed and he nodded. "That's right pal. Rule number one, what mom doesn't know, doesn't get us in trouble…" He glanced toward the hall as he said it, just in case. Andy lifted his coffee with his other hand and watched as the morning news shows covered the conclusion of their case. "Hey, check it out, there's dad." He shook his head and sighed, a little bitter about how it had all turned out. Yeah, they got the bastard, just not soon enough for Andy's liking.
"You know, they say the camera adds ten pounds," He nodded to the recap of the press conference that Taylor had recorded the previous night. "I think it also adds ten years," He added drily. On the bar, a phone began to buzz. Andy glanced over. It was his. He huffed a sigh. "I'm not answering it," he said. "They can kiss my a—"
"You know how she feels about language in front of the baby." Rusty was silent on sock covered feet as he made his way down the hall, shoes in hand, the strap of his book bag over his shoulder. "Coffee?" He smelled it before he reached the living room. He dropped his shoes and bag on the chair closest the door and walked toward the kitchen, as he passed the bar, he glanced at the phone. "Sergeant Elliot?" The name sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it.
Andy groaned. "FID vultures are already circling. I talked to that little prick last night. Let it go to voicemail, I can call him back. He's got my statement. I swear, they're like parasites, always trying to suck the—" He trailed off at the amused look he was getting from Rusty. "What?"
"Really?" The kid just smirked at him. "That where you want to go in this apartment?"
He rolled his eyes. "She knows how I feel about it. She's been redeemed." He lifted Ian up onto his shoulder when he began to squirm. "What do you think? We like mom? Yeah? She can hang out? Okay."
"You are so weird." Rusty filled a travel mug with coffee and walked over to put his shoes on.
Andy held the baby in front of him. "Two against one, I think we could take him." Ian gurgled and cooed at the attention. "That's right, he's one to talk."
"You people have got to get some sleep and soon." After he had his shoes on, Rusty found his keys and pulled his bag over his shoulder again. He took his coffee and headed for the door. "Remind Sharon today is my late day, I've got Chem lab at five. She's still got the whole, weird, pregnancy brain thing going on. Have her text me if she wants me to stop and grab dinner on the way home. Later. You're in charge Little Flynn."
They watched him go. Andy looked at the baby he held and arched a brow. "You're in charge? Really? I get no say in this at all, do I?" He shook his head when Ian waved his fists and kicked his legs. "I didn't think so."
When Sharon awoke a short while later, it was to the aromas of coffee and breakfast wafting in through the open bedroom door. She stretched on the bed before rising. She could hear the muted sounds of the television playing, and knew that Ian would be with Andy. He always took him out of the room upon waking, letting her sleep just a little longer. She adored him for that. Sharon took her time, changing into comfortable yoga pants and a fresh t-shirt before running a brush through her hair. She clipped it back, but it fell in messy, curling tendrils around her face. She decided she didn't care and made her way down the hall anyway.
In the kitchen she found husband scrambling eggs, but she noticed that there was also fruit and waffles. "Someone is hungry." She turned Ian's chair toward her and leaned over it, a smile on her lips for her bright and happy boy. The chair played music along with vibrating, and he seemed to like that. "Hello my love." Sharon leaned down, a soft kiss pressed to his forehead in greeting. He squawked, and cooed, as if in recognition and kicked his legs. It caused the chair to bounce and she chuckled when it set him to gurgling happily. She stroked the curve of his cheek before she turned to greet her husband. She leaned close and rocked up onto her toes to offer her lips. "Morning."
"Morning." He curled an arm around her waist and drew her close. Andy dropped a lingering kiss to her lips. She fit just beneath his arm when she dropped back to her feet and her head tucked right up beneath his chin. At least, it did when she wasn't in heels. In her bare feet she was rather cute and her form small against him. He held her for just another moment, until she slipped away from him to return to Ian. Andy watched her with him, and the way her eyes lit with joy and crinkled at the corners when she bent again. This time she drew his tiny feet to her lips. It was a beautiful sight, more so than almost anything.
"Has he been fed?" She asked, a smile still on her lips and her dancing gaze only for the baby.
"Nah," Andy glanced at the clock on the microwave. "He's probably going to want to be soon. We're just hanging out. Right pal?" He reached over and wriggled a fist.
"Hm." Sharon hummed as she unbuckled him from the seat. She lifted him to her shoulder, a hand cupped behind his head and pressed her lips against his temple. "Then while you're finishing up here, I'll take care of his bath and feed him. Then I bet he'll probably want a nap."
Andy chuckled. "Bath time huh? How is that going now?" He hadn't been there for that since going back to work. It was a toss up of whether or not Ian actually seemed to like it."
"Always a new adventure," she drawled.
"That's my boy." He smirked. "Give her hell son," Andy called as she walked away with him. The look she shot at him only made him laugh. He looked over when his phone started buzzing again. This would be the third time. "That Elliot kid of yours is a real annoying piece of work," he called down the hall.
"Good!" She smirked. "That means he's doing his job the way I trained him. Besides, I thought you said I was rescued, that makes him not mine anymore since I belong to you all now."
"You trained him," Andy groused. "He's still yours." He reached over and decided to answer it this time, what better way to get rid of the little pain in his ass. "Sergeant Elliot," he began, "What part of I'm going home to hug my kid, kiss my wife, and fall into a coma did you not understand? You better have a hell of a good reason for ringing my phone off the hook before nine in the morning, considering that my wife, your mentor, doesn't sleep a lot these days."
"Yes sir," He stated automatically. Although he was rolling his eyes, Elliot continued, respectfully, "I understand that sir, and I'm very sorry Lieutenant. I'm afraid I have a few followup questions. The statement I have from you doesn't quite match the statement that my partner received from Detective Sykes."
Andy looked skyward and asked for patience. "Why does that not surprise me," he sighed. "Can we do this over the phone or do I have to come back down there?"
"This is fine," Elliot stated. "I understand that your squad is on stand down for a couple of days, unless you catch a new case." That was procedure given the grizzly and dark nature of their last case, and how it ended. "Now, from your statement," he flipped through his notes and held the phone between his shoulder and his ear, "there was a match on the prints lifted from the third crime scene. It indicated the suspect had been in the system before. Your team rolled out to question the guy. He had two possible locations, an apartment down in Inglewood, and his girlfriend's place out in Venice Beach, is that right?"
"That's right." Andy lifted the skillet off the stove and spooned the eggs into a bowl. He carried it all over to the table. "Provenza, Sanchez and I headed down to Inglewood. Sykes and Tao drove out to Venice Beach. Each team had SIS and patrol backing them up. The plan was to figure out which residence he was at, then sit on it and wait for the rest of the team to converge."
"Right, good, that's what I have too." Elliot had both sets of notes from both interviews. So far, his account matched that of Detective Sykes. Hers was the only accounting which had seemed odd, in that it didn't quite match what the rest of the squad had said. "Okay, so you found out that he was down at the Inglewood location and you called the rest of your team?"
"Yeah," Andy set the table and then poured himself a fresh cup of coffee. "Provenza told Tao to get a move on. In the meantime, we notified central, and we got our units in place. We hung back, down the block, we didn't want to alert him that we were there but we had a pretty good view of the place."
"Then what happened?" Elliot asked. This was where the two accountings began to diverge.
"We were talking strategy," Andy said. "Tao and Sykes had just pulled up, we were going to wait for them to join us, but we heard a scream."
"Where was Detective Sykes?" He prompted.
"In the car." Andy tilted his head and thought about it. "Tao got out and walked over to us, Sykes was in the car. She was on her phone… instructing the SIS team with them to circle around and come up the alley behind the house. We wanted to cut off any chance we had that he could run. I was getting ready to update Lieutenant Tao and we heard a scream. It came from the shed behind the house, we didn't wait, we ran." He ran a hand over his hair. Reliving the moment was just something that was going to happen until the matter was settled and all the reports were completed and submitted. "Sanchez and I were at the head of the group. We hit the shed and moved inside. Our suspect had another victim…" He trailed off and closed his eyes. He could still see her, suspended from the rafters. Suddenly, he was no longer hungry. Bile rose hot and bitter in his throat. Andy took a moment to force it back. "He'd already cut her, she was bleeding out. We identified ourselves, ordered him to drop his weapon. He lunged at us instead, and Sanchez shot him."
"So then Detective Sykes was at the back of the action?" That would explain why her accounting was different. She would have, naturally, been delayed in joining them. The inconsistency was easily explained in that way.
"Yeah," Andy sighed. "I guess she probably wouldn't have seen a lot. It just happens sometimes."
"Thank you, Lieutenant." Elliot made note of it. "That was all I needed. I'll try not to bother you again. Please give my regards to the Captain."
"Yeah, sure," Andy rolled his eyes at the slightly wistful tone the kid's voice took on. "I'll tell her." He hung up his phone and tossed it back onto the bar. "Little pain in the ass," he muttered. Andy sighed again as he made his way down the hall. He slipped quietly into the bedroom and peeked into the bathroom. He could hear Ian squawking and fussing as he got his bath. "Hey babe," He stepped in and leaned over to kiss the top of her head. "I'm going to run out for a few. Breakfast is on the table."
Sharon was kneeling beside the tub, Ian was laying in the mesh bath seat. She sat back, but kept a hand on his belly as she looked up at him. "Okay." Her head tilted inquisitively. "Is everything—"
"It's fine." He cupped her face and dropped a kiss to her mouth. "Your little protégé is all taken care of. I just need to hit a meeting."
She hummed quietly and cupped the side of his neck for a moment. "Alright," she let her hand drop and smiled up at him. He would be okay. Of that she never had to worry. He never neglected his sobriety. "Go on, we'll be here."
"Yeah, I know." Andy kissed her again before drawing away. "Love you," he called, and slipped out to the bedroom to get dressed.
Her lips curved into a soft smile and her gaze dropped to the squirming infant in the tub. "Did you hear that? Was that daddy?" She smoothed her hand over the soft down of dark hair covering his head. "We love him right back, don't we?" Her attention shifted back to her child, but she heard her husband when he left. Andy would be okay, he just needed time to process it all. It had been a rough few days. Part of her still felt guilty that they'd had to face it without her, but as Ian played, that guilt faded. She knew all too well just how precious these first weeks together would be for them, and she would enjoy it. Absurd though it might be, maternity leave at this stage in her life, it was her time and she was going to take it. Already she despaired at the time that would come when she would be dropping Ian in daycare rather than having him with her. It seemed that Andy wasn't the only one who had things to process. At least they had each other.
Sharon reflected on just how different it could be, doing this alone. That was another thing that she was entirely too familiar with. Jack had been there, more or less, when Ricky was a newborn. By the time Charlotte was born they were already having issues, and he'd hardly been around. She knew better than to compare the two men, or to compare her life now to her first marriage. The times were so different, and she was different then. The mind went where it wanted to go, however, and there was no stopping her thoughts. It was the difference between having a husband and having a partner. It was also the difference in age and experience. She knew the Andy of thirty years ago was much like Jack had been then too. It was why it really wasn't fair to compare them. Andy changed, he learned from his mistakes, he was beside her in this every step of the way.
She lifted the baby out of the tub and wrapped him in a soft towel. "You are so loved," she murmured. "Let's get you fed and down for a nap so that you can spend your day with daddy, hm?" Yes, these days were special, fleeting. She would enjoy her leave, in so much as she could, but it wasn't only herself that needed this precious time. She would facilitate as much of it for Andy as she could. He deserved his chance to be the good father that he worked so hard to become.