Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker
Author's Note: I feel like a total douche when I can't marry off some of the characters which is a fact that hopefully most of us know. In my lunatic+ file the three first gen characters that aren't married are Henry, Libra and Stahl, but maybe I'll bend it so that one of them marries Say'ri or something. As for the kids, the one that hasn't married is Nah and one reason is that the support I like best for her is Male Morgan and I think I might have it to where he ends up in this universe somehow along with Female Morgan. I don't know yet, but I feel like such an asshole when I see Stahl, Henry, Say'ri, Libra, Basilio, Flavia, and Anna single and alone. I also feel like Tiki would only marry the male avatar so I'm debating on trying to get her with someone else. Sorry for the long ass authors note.
Chapter 9
Robin was in the strategy tent which was just a tent with the world map in it. Yes, the Shepherds were very clever when naming things like the medical tent was so fondly referred to as the 'Heal Shack'. Anyway, the Ylissians staged at Port Ferox had sent a messenger and Robin assumed it was to tell that the rest of the Valmese invasion forces were well on their way to their continent. Robin was really hoping to catch them at the port and after defeating them or dying a miserable death, continuing to Valm to finish the job with some of the Valmese dead.
"Lord Chrom! Sir Robin! We have urgent news from the Port!"
Finally the messenger had arrived after being spotted by Cordelia a good ways from the camp.
"Yes we understand. Are you here to tell us that Valm's main forces are sailing over here now?"
Robin had told Chrom that this was the most likely reason to send a messenger especially in such a hurry. Chrom was not looking forward to locking horns with Valm again as they were a very formidable force.
"No sir, we've recently received news from some scouts on the seas. Our small scouting vessels and Pegasus Knights patrolling the sea returned with news that there is a large storm forming over the route that Valm was to use to reach us. It appears that the Invasion force has been delayed, along with our passage as well."
Everyone was slightly agape at this. They were marching back to Port Ferox so they could set sail or wait for Valm, depending on what they agreed on.
"How long do you think we have until the sea is calm enough to sail across?"
"The sea faring merchants and local sailors say that a storm of this size will delay any sailing for about four to five weeks."
"Robin, what say you?"
Chrom, along with Lucina and Frederick, looked to him for his opinion on the matter. Fact is, he had no idea about anything involving sailing so he'd have to play it safe and set sail after five weeks were up. Or he could be a little daring and go after four weeks. Then the Ylissian league could get the drop on Valm by beating the invasion force.
"I say we wait until the four weeks are over and then we set sail immediately. Maybe if we set sail before their invasion force we can meet them at their port and just stop them there."
Chrom mulled it over and looked to Frederick for support and then agreed since he trusted Robin implicitly.
"Okay then. We now have four weeks until we set out for Valm."
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Robin found himself in yet another uncomfortable situation. Gone were the days when he and Maribelle locked eyes and they immediately turned away from each other, whether it was due to his nickname, the peeking at the springs, or other shenanigans. Or he thought they were over. Now he was sharing tea with her after his Aristocrat lessons and he had to say it was just as bad to be around her now as it was back in the day.
"Robin, Darling, are you feeling ill? Your ability to comprehend what I say seems to be even more stunted today."
Maribelle liked to jab at him every now and then and of course he'd retort with an equally clever remark. Of course that was before his revelation of being madly in love with a woman who was known to berate most and compliment few. He guessed that was part of the appeal since he had experienced her tongue lashings before and now they were on good terms. Now he had more trouble than ever talking to her since he had no clue what to even say anymore.
"Oh yeah, heh heh, you're as funny as ever Maribelle."
Now Maribelle was choking on the tea she was sipping when Robin was talking.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think anyone has actually found my japes to be humorous, yourself included dear. Are you actually feeling ill?"
"No I feel great actually. Being here with you and having tea all of the time really sets my mind at ease. I've also thought that your thinly veiled insults were humorous for quite sometime now."
Now Robin was sweating out of areas on his body that he didn't even know could sweat. He felt that now might be a good time to confess after all he really did find her to be funny. He also looked forward to all of his lessons no matter how dull they were and all of the tea since it was delicious anyway. Yes now was a great time, just tell her how much he loved her and then...
"Oh darling, I've been meaning to ask you, some people saw a strange man standing outside my tent a few nights ago. They say he just stood there after running to it and ran off after some time. I was hoping you might be able to enlighten me or at least reassure me of my safety. I've been feeling uneasy about this situation."
Strange man? It almost sounded like someone saw Robin run to her tent and totally puss out...Oh. Damn.
"Don't worry Maribelle, I would never let anyone hurt you after all I lo-ha uh. Ahem. I look out for all of my friends."
Maribelle stopped sipping to stare at Robin after his almost fatal slip. He was turning red and quick, he couldn't even bring himself to look at her. Now he had a good idea of what its like to be Olivia.
"Well its getting kind of late and I said that I'd go on patrol later tonight soooo, yeah."
"Robin Darling, its barely even noon."
"..."
WHOOSH
Robin was out of the tent before he had time to make himself look like a total moron again.
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After Robins embarrassing encounter with Maribelle he was walking around like he usually did to clear his mind. How to confess his feelings, that was the question of the day. He was the tactician of the Shepherds, the very man that brought this rag tag group of misfits to their glorious victory against Gangrel that got their names into the textbooks and Gaius into the beds of any woman he wanted. Yet he couldn't think of a single strategy to confess or propose to that woman.
"Heya Robin!"
It appears that Robin had been so out of it that he didn't even notice Nowi nearby. He really needed to stop doing that.
"Oh hello Nowi. What are you doing out here by yourself?"
"Well I was talking to Gaius, but he gave more figs so I'd sit over here so here I am."
She then bit into her fig with gusto and stared at Gaius while he was fishing for what appeared to be a Honey bee hive. Nowi may be in the body of a teen aged girl, but maybe she'd know a thing or two about marriage and confessions. Maybe. If he approached her about this, he'd have to be very tactful...
"Hey Nowi, I need to ask you about a woman."
"Sorry Robin, but I'm already takeeeen."
He noted the singing at the end of her sentence and he was well aware of the little dance going on between her and Gaius. He'd already spied on multiple fig sessions where Gaius would give them to her so she'd leave him to business, but Robin then observed Gaius making figs with more purpose lately as well as putting the honey he'd get from hives into them for Nowi. Robin assumed he was getting this honey for more candy and some of his figs for Nowi.
"Sorry Nowi, but I think I'll leave you to Gaius. I was hoping for advice on someone else."
She continued to kick her legs about as she watched Gaius make an idiot of himself by falling off the tree with the hive and proceeded to sprint off with angry bees in tow.
"Yeah I know, Lissa told me allllll about it."
Say what. If that gossip knew then that means everyone would know.
"...so what exactly do you know?"
"Maribelle has been telling Lissa that her pupil in the fine arts has taken a turn for the awkward. She is worried that you don't like being around her again, but me and Lissa know that you're just in Loooooove."
With this Robin just turned his head and felt the blood rushing to his face. He had to do what he did with Chrom all those years ago and throw Nowi off of his trail.
"What? No, of course not. Wha-What makes you say that?"
It appears that his masterful guise was falling apart and quick.
"Mm hm. So then lets say that your not in love with ms. Maribelle. What is this advice that you'd like from the worlds most poised woman."
Yes, Robin remembered the whole poise business when Nowi put on an entire bottle of perfume to try and impress Gaius. It made his eyes burn when she walked by that day and he learned of the events after pestering Gaius. He then began his operation of getting a thief and a manakete hitched.
"Yes you have poise in spades. Now then I'd like to know the best way to get a woman to fall in love with me and the most effective way to propose after such events."
"You make it sound like getting Maribelle to marry you is some kind of battle to be won with a strategy. Love is a natural thing that happens through being with another person like saving them from mad kings..."
Robin was staring at her intently.
"...or maybe they show interest in the other person by being close to them under the impression of giving some sort of lessons..."
Robin felt that Nowi was trying to make a point, but he couldn't quite understand what it was.
"...or one of them shared some sort of heartfelt confession to the other about their childhood."
Nowi was now raising and lowering her eyebrows hoping that Robin would get the message, but his trademark look where his eyes were glossed over and he was just staring at the other person gave the idea that he was still in the dark.
"Sir Robin, we've got news of a bandit attack."
Suddenly Frederick's interjection interrupted Robin from figuring out that Maribelle already had feelings for the master tactician and colossal dunce with women.
"What's the word Freddy."
Frederick grimaced at that name since he barely liked it when Lissa used it.
"Apparently two bandit chiefs, Victor and Vincent, have been terrorizing areas in Regna Ferox and we've go word of where they might be heading. Lord Chrom feels that taking these bandits down would be beneficial while we await the departure for Valm."
Robin agreed that keeping the Shepherds skills sharp and doing a service to the people would in fact be a very good use of time. So he would take the Shepherds to these bandits and give them what for.
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After the battle, Robin had talked briefly with the merchant girl Anna. He'd seen women that looked identical to her many times, but this was the first time he'd talked to one of them. And she sure did love to talk...
"C'mon I'm sure I have something you'd like."
"Sorry milady, but I don't see anything that I could use in your wares so I bid you good day."
Maribelle's lessons definitely were kicking in when Robin was tired or out of it.
"Oh there must be something, I've got weapons, staves, I've even got presents for that special lady in your life."
Robin stopped walking and his eyes had widened a bit. Maybe now would be the best time if any to get a ring. Well if that was even what she was talking about.
"Alright, I'm listening."
"Stand back sir because I'm sure the very thought of your woman wearing this will bring the blood rushing to parts of your body that only she would even think of touching!"
Now Robin was staring at various lingerie and other outfits that didn't really seem to cover the more inappropriate parts of the female body.
"I was thinking more of... rings."
"Did you say swings? I didn't peg you for that type of person, but I can't say I'd fault you for being into that. Alright I think I have something along those lines somewhere..."
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After a long lesson in what type of swing he was about to buy Robin declined Annas's offer to buy it and... test it out. It had only been three days since they'd received news of the storm overseas and the Shepherds had successfully routed a group of bandits and their leader who Robin didn't even care to remember the name of. He was too busy trying to plan sealing the deal with Maribelle and he had a couple of plans. The one he was most likely going to use involved a big musical number and Robin was still working on the lyrics.
"What are you doing Man-spawn?!"
Robin turned to Panne as she pulled him away form the small cliff he was about to walk off of.
"Why is it that love turns you man-spawn into such idiotic beings?"
Seriously, even Panne knew?
"...if Lissa told you that I'm going to fill her tent with frogs."
"No she did not. I can smell it on you."
That's right, being Taguel and all gives her uncanny sense of smell. But smelling love seemed a bit of an exaggeration.
"So have you smelled this on other people as well?"
Robin didn't miss a beat as she turned her head to stare in the direction of the practice area.
"If I'm not mistaken, the tin man wants to spar with me and drink tea because he too shares the scent you carry. Although your cloak seems to be stained with the smell of human tea instead of Taguel."
That didn't really surprise Robin since he was always drinking tea with Maribelle. What interested him was the fact that Panne was turning a bit red.
"Would you say that the same scent comes from you as well when you are with Kellam? You almost looked happy when you were talking about him."
Instantly her expression went from the softened look of fondly thinking of her soon to be lover since Robin would see to that, or had been seeing to it for some time now, to the usual hardened, pissed of Panne look.
"You know nothing of how I feel."
"Mmmm I think I do since I'm giving off that scent right?"
"..."
"Right. I'll just leave you to it then."
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"Maribelle, I am singing to propose to you.
Maribelle, I insulted your hair and saw you naked too.
Maribelle, I'm singing a song that is total... Poo."
And that is exactly what it was, as well as every other draft he'd written. He just couldn't think of any good lyrics whatsoever and now he was thinking that he'd have to resort to one of his other plans.
"Sir Robin, might I inquire about something?"
Apparently being Grandmaster to Ylisse was something that brought great respect and it made Robin uncomfortable as hell.
"Come on in Frederick. You can just call me Robin too, Sir Robin was my fathe-."
Robin slammed his face into the desk after his mind caught up to what he was saying.
"I was hoping to ask you for advice on women. Lord Chrom sent me to you since he felt you could better aid me than he. Chrom made sure to put emphasis on the fact that you inadvertently helped his highness and Lady Sumia in their courtship and that you offered advice to him when he hadn't even thought to propose yet."
Robin would say that 'inadvertently' was the wrong word, but Frederick and the rest of the world would know that after Robin published that journal.
"I'm more than happy to help a fellow Shepherd. So what do you need?"
"I have a woman in my life that I'd like to propose to. I'm just not sure how to do it. I've questioned others on this subject and some agreed that doing so under 'romantic' circumstances would be best, but I haven't the faintest idea what constitutes a situation to be romantic. And so I've come to you in hopes that you might be able to offer any sort of advice."
After Donnie and Chrom, Robin's best advice would be to just straight up propose since like Sumia and Cherche, Lissa was already frothing at the loins for Frederick. 'Frothing at the loins' that was pure gold, Robin was going write that one down.
"Er, Robin, you seem to be a little distracted. If you'd like I can return later when you aren't as busy."
"Oh it's nothing I just need to write something down real quick. Anyway, like Chrom the best thing I could possibly tell you is that Lissa wouldn't care too much about where or how it happens, she'd care more that it actually happened. If the man of her dreams proposed to her she wouldn't care at the moment if the situation was romantic, but later on down the line when your marriage cools off and she starts looking at other men and she has kids eh..."
"I'm sorry Robin, but what exactly are you saying?"
"Right, simply put, just propose and she'll say yes since she does the training in combat and laziness just to be close to you."
"Hm. Are you sure about this? I find myself quite nervous when I think of asking Lissa to be my wife. After all I've protected her for some time now and I'm just one of her subordinates..."
"Hey Frederick, have you ever heard the story of Eirika and Seth?"
"Of course, the tale of the Princess that married her knight protector is a tale that is sung by many bards."
"Does is sound familiar?"
"..."
Suddenly Frederick caught on to Robins point.
"I thank you sir, you've helped me greatly today. I will procure a ring the next time Lissa and I are 'slacking off' in town."
"Naga speed friend."
With that Frederick left the tent and much to Robin's relief. Today Robin was planning to get the dirt on Cordelia since she always wanted Lon'qu to 'teach' her his sparring technique. Robin had seen her practice in private and she'd already perfected it and put in her own personal touch to it. Whenever she'd show it to Lon'qu, her technique was nowhere near as good as it was in private so Robin's plan that was enacted over two years ago was finally, FINALLY working. The only flight risk was Lon'qu not returning the feeling because of his fear of all people with a vagina. That of course was the reason for spying today, to see how the two interacted.
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So far the training was nothing out of the ordinary. Lon'qu would show her techniques, she'd practice them and get them wrong so they could spend more time together. More importantly, Lon'qu was turning red more than usual and Robin was getting a very good feeling about this. It was almost tragic how Cordelia was obsessed with a man that didn't even notice her and now Robin had finally gotten rid of the silly little crush or whatever it was. Yes, yes things were going ever so nicely...
"What are you doing here man-spawn?"
Suddenly Robin found Panne and a fairly beaten up suit of armor near her. She was standing over the bush he was using to spy on the two love birds.
"Oh well I was just uh, coming here to...train. And I dropped my book so I was laying down to pick it up."
It wasn't his best line, but he was on the spot so it would have to do.
"If you're here to train you could always spar with us Robin."
Robin was now looking at both Cordelia and Lon'qu who had come over to see what the commotion was.
"Oh that would be absolutely wonderful!"
The Prodigy of a Pegasus Knight and the Reigning champion Regna Ferox Swordsman. Robin's chances were as Basilio would say, a farts chance in the wind.
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Robin was now looking at Lon'qu and a large crowd who had gathered to watch and place bets. Apparently a match between the master swordsman and the genius tactician was just too good to pass up. Robin looked at him knowing that he couldn't beat him in terms of speed and...
"Begin!"
Robin found himself dodging. That was it. He couldn't get a strike in at all, it was like word play with Maribelle since she was well versed in bringing people down.
Speaking of Maribelle, he saw that even she turned out to see the match and she seemed very excited about it. Or maybe excited to see him. Or Lon'qu. Now Robin was dreading that thought, that she was in love with a man who was far more skilled in combat or was more muscular and...
SWISH
Thinking about Maribelle was really throwing Robin off. If he was going to win and impress Maribelle, he'd have to think of something extraordinary to take down Lon'qu. Or he could just put him into the situation Robin was just in.
"WHOA did Cordelia's boot strap come loose?"
The thought of seeing Cordelia's slender and ivory legs was enough to turn Lon'qu and every man, plus a fair amount of women to Cordelia. She was turning as red as Lon'qu who had realized that he'd just threw a match just to sneak a peek. Well Robin assumed that he realized this.
WHAP
Robin took advantage of Lon'qu and his distracted state to smash him over the head with the practice sword. Now he stood over the unconscious form of Lon'qu and was reveling in his well earned victory.
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After the match Robin returned to his tent to record that interaction in the journal as it would make for a very good story later on.
"Robin, I have news for you."
"Hey Frederick, long time no see. I think its been like what, half a day?"
"We've no time for japes. The merchant girl that aided us is under siege from the bandits that we fought not too long ago."
"How far is she?"
"She is close by and the bandits are in pursuit. If intel is correct, we can follow and assist her before they kill or capture her. That is if we set out immediately."
Of course, Robin and his romance obsession would have to wait because some perverted, red haired merchant was in trouble.
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The bandit leader looked exactly like his brother or father or... whatever the hell they were. Fact is they were both dead now and the Anna that they saved was NOT the one that they'd seen the other time. In fact, this one claimed that she wasn't as perverted as the other Anna that Robin encountered much to his relief because that other one was fairly persistent in selling him that swing.
Whatever the case, the Shepherds still had about three and a half weeks until the deadline for sailing to Valm. Now Robin was trudging back to his tent to hopefully be able to warm up and study a little after being torn from his planning. He then spotted Sullykins and Gregor together a little off the beaten trail. Obviously he wasn't about to pass this up since they were well on the way to pumping out a vulgar mouthed, grammatically retarded child. Hopefully.
"I lost our duel, but you refuse to claim your damn prize. Now name your terms so we can be done with this and I can sleep at night!"
If Robin's imagination was right, if he claimed his prize you probably won't be getting any sleep tonight Sully...
"Gregor is no longer interested in competition with woman like you."
Oh damn, this was going south and fast. Now Sully was going to flip a dookie and kick him in the head or something.
"I already admitted you won! So if you're gonna refuse just because I'm a woman-"
That was about what Robin was expecting word wise, now he was waiting for the stabbing or the kicking.
"Is not because you are woman. Is because you are Sully."
Oh. OH. Robin had hit the Romance jackpot, walking in on another man's confession. Actually Robin really needed to see this so he could get some pointers on how it's done.
"Gregor cannot fight woman he is loving so madly. So instead of beating you with sword he buys you lovely gift instead."
...that's it? That was the confession? That was kind of...lame. Maybe Robin would spruce it up for the journal if Sully even said yes to that crappy...
"I wouldn't say no because of that..."
Of course, Robin missed some of the conversation. He really needed to lock it in when he was listening in on others.
"...And actually I wouldn't say no at all."
"Wait... Gregor is confused. Is meaning Sully says yes?"
Yes Robin is confused too. Is Sully really saying yes to such a weak confession?
"I've learned a lot from you Gregor. About fencing and swordsmanship sure. But also honor and respect. I think we could make a pretty damn fine team if we married."
"Oh words of joyfulness! Gregor will do his happy dance!"
Oh yes, that dance would be immortalized in Robin's journal as the goofiest thing he had ever witnessed. But something that Robin noted was Sully's lack of teasing to his dance. In fact she was too infatuated to even care about anything or notice. Apparently that was what love did to people, got you to overlook the other person's... queer quirks and dances. If Robin could get Maribelle to be like that with him then maybe he'd feel more comfortable trying to do anything. Regardless, he had another entry for his journal so now he was going to head out.
On the way back to his tent he happened upon Lucina who actually seemed to be looking for someone and he had a feeling that it was him.
"Ah, Sir Robin I need to have a word."
"Please Lucina its just Robin. Now what can I do for you?"
"I heard that Uncle Gregor and Aunt Sully just got married."
"...Uncle Gregor and Aunt Sully?"
"Yes. In my time like the other Shepherds, they were like family and I'd like to tell you where I believe their child is now."
This definitely sparked his interest.
"You mean the others that came with you to this time correct? And you know where they are?"
"I've been trying to keep tabs on them, but I don't truly know where exactly they are. I have the general locations of some and I'd like to disclose where I believe Kjelle to be."
If she knew about who had children and who was married in her time then maybe...
"Lucina before you tell me that I'd like to ask you something. In the future do I get married?... do I have any children?"
She simply paused at this, as if to contemplate something.
"I'm sorry, but I cannot answer for fear that in telling you I might alter this time line more than I have already."
Robin was a little disappointed, but the fact that she had to contemplate meant that there was a good chance that he did get married and she didn't want to tell so that he'd fall in love naturally and all of that bogus.
"All right, fair enough. You said you might know where this Kjelle person is correct? Why don't we go to the strategy tent and you can show me on the map."
Now that Robin was on the prowl for Gregor and Sully's kid, he was more determined than ever to get his woman and have children of his own. And by Naga he was going to make that woman love him even if he had to sell his soul to Grima himself. If only Robin knew the irony of that statement...