Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker
Author's Note: Just a quick note, I realize that realistically no storm would shut down sailing for a solid month or month and a half. It was to give more time for other shenanigans to go down before they leave the continent so yeah. Just in case you were like "Oh what a dumbass, he doesn't know a thing about ANYTHING." No one has said anything about it, but it really bothered me that I left it like that.
Chapter 10
"How?! HOW DAMN YOU!?"
Robin had to admit, he saw the resemblance between Sully and Kjelle in both body and mind. Or more language to be exact. She had both Gregor and Sully's red hair and the potty mouth to match her mother pound for pound. After helping her skewer the man that killed her mentor in an unfair duel, the Shepherds had recruited Kjelle and Robin had to admit that she was really, REALLY biting into his free time. Hey Robin you're trying to study? Duel me. Oh you trying to talk to the woman you love? Duel me. Trying to relieve yourself in the middle of the woods in an extremely secluded, hard to find area that you came to so that you could specifically avoid me? Well then how about you DUEL ME? It was exhausting because the result was always the same. She was a head on knight while he was trained in magic. Magic. He wasn't sure what part of that she didn't understand. Her resistance to it was atrocious and she couldn't really dodge, Kjelle mainly relied on brute strength. Which doesn't help against magic. So this thought essentially answered her question which honestly seemed very obvious as to what the answer was.
"...it's the same as last time Kjelle. I'm trained in both sword and magic so I can easily dispatch you with most tomes. Training does increase willpower which helps with resistance, but if I were you I'd ask a mage or cleric as to how they have higher resistance to magic than the rest of us. Just like I suggested you do last time..."
"No I don't need to ask anyone about that, I just need to train even harder Damn it!"
Although she'd just joined the Shepherds, like two days ago, she'd already proven herself a decent fighter in her duel and in sparring. Though her hard headed nature like her mother was hindering her growth. Robin was going to get a quick word in on how she needed to do this in order to improve herself, but just like the other times, she'd somehow sprinted off in knight armor to train. Again.
Robin only sighed in his head as he wanted to help his fellow Shepherd and child of two friends get stronger. But if she was going to run off then he might as well do something with his time to further his plans. In recent days Robin had been trying to get much closer to Maribelle and make his move and he had to say it was terrifying. He had been trying to probe her on what kind of jewelry she was fond of since he didn't see her wearing any. Robin also realized that if he went to Lissa then Maribelle would know how he felt without having to tell her himself. He'd seriously considered it a couple of times, but he figured that would be the cowardly thing to do.
Speaking of cowardly things and Maribelle, it was time for him to get to his lesson for the day.
000000
"No, no, NO! You should not slurp the tea like a dog lapping up water, you must sip it so that it washes over the palate and it is improper to spill it in your lap as well. Your progress has been quite atrocious darling and I must say that it is starting to worry me. Usually you are so smart and dedicated to whatever it is you put your mind to, but now you are acting as if you crawled straight from the slums dear."
Of course Robin didn't really hear any of that, he only saw Maribelle talking with the grace to match an angel and the facial expression to match an angry bear...
"Muh?"
"It is also rude to ignore a lady when she speaks to you! Honestly, what has gotten into you, all you do is sit there and stare while failing miserably to act like a true Nobleman. I must say that I'm disappointed Robin, you were such a promising pupil until just recently."
"..."
"Robin?"
"Eh?"
"Well speak up and tell me why it is that my star pupil has recently been beset by blunders fitting of a court jester."
Well I love you and I was just admiring your beauty while trying to think of a way to confess my love to you.
"Well I have been thinking of presents I was going to give to the other Shepherds on their birthdays. Actually I'd like to ask for your assistance in doing so."
Close. Robin was really close that time, but he still didn't have the courage to tell her.
"I don't think I'm the best person to ask in a situation like this, after all the two people that I'm close to are Lissa and you darling."
Every time she said something like that Robin's heart would race as he'd always have some delusion that she meant that she too had the same feelings for him. Even if she didn't, Robin was going to make this woman fall head over heels for him and he'd start with his plan to find out what kind of ring to get her.
"I was hoping that you could help me make some decisions involving rings..."
"WHAT!"
Maribelle had stopped her tea sipping and what appeared to be day dreaming when Robin mentioned the ring.
"And just WHO are these rings or ring meant for Robin?! HMMM?!"
"Wha- I'm just buying gifts for my fellow Shepherds and all. Just a friendly gesture, yeah?"
"What man buys another man a ring? You obviously mean to give a ring to some strumpet! Well?!"
Robin was having some hardcore flashbacks of being pummeled by rocks in the hot springs and being maliciously beaten by a parasol.
"I suppose you got me there. Or maybe I was going to buy Chrom a ring, you know, since me and him were 'in love' before Sumia came along, ha ha...ha"
The very angry look on her face was an indication that she wasn't amused by his joke in the slightest.
"...So can you tell me what kind of rings that women like?...please?"
Her glare was burning holes into his face and he felt that Kjelle had a better chance of surviving a direct hit from a Bolganone than he did of making it out of Maribelle's tent or Aristocrat lessons from here on out for that matter, unscathed.
"Well why don't you ask whatever woman you're buying a ring for what she likes?!"
Funny because Robin just did.
"Maribelle please, as my dear friend, I am begging you to help me with this one thing. Please?"
This pathetic attempt to calm her down and hopefully get the information he wanted was exactly that... Pathetic.
"...any woman that receives a ring for her 'birthday' from you is lucky enough as it is. I know that she wouldn't truly care what it looked like as long as you put your heart into choosing it and giving it to her."
That was useless. Hell it sounded like what he had said to Frederick. Robin could probably quote that in a lame romance novel if he ever felt like writing one.
"That was useless..."
"WHAT!?"
Apparently he had said that out loud instead of just thinking it inside of his head. After expertly dodging multiple strikes from her parasol that rivaled Lon'qu in speed and Vaike in strength, he made a bee line for the exit.
000000
Robin found himself sitting next to Nowi after he decided to stop running from Maribelle's tent. He figured that she wouldn't give chase, but he wasn't about to take any chances. After all a woman scorned...
"Hey Nowi. How do I propose to someone?"
"*Chomp* Well I'd say that*Om-Nom* the best way is to just do it and if you two truly love each other*Smack* then it shouldn't matter how you propose to me."
"Oh ha-ha. Is that really the best you can come up with?"
"Alright, do you know this woman well?"
"What do you mean Nowi?"
"Well you're not going to propose to some random village maiden are you? You talk to this woman and know her on a level that some don't right?"
"Yes."
"She considers you to be an intimate friend right?"
"Yes."
"And you like the company of men more than women right?"
"Yes, wait NO, ahhh come on Nowi I'm really needing this help alright?!"
"Robin believe me, Maribelle won't care how. She loves you. End of story."
"...what about a ring?"
"So you finally stop denying it have you?"
A quick glance and Robin threatening to bust out a wyrmslayer got her back on subject.
"Look Robin if you really love her as much as she does you, then she wouldn't care if her ring was made of pig slop or, or... Risen fingers! For the love of Naga and all other deities just ask her to marry you man!"
Was that seriously all there was to it? Just 'Oh hey I love you so wanna get married?' Robin was getting this from everyone either directly or indirectly when he was spying on them. He just didn't want to propose and have it be lame, Maribelle deserved the best and he wanted to be a man that was worthy of being her husband.
"Ooooh there's Gaius! I'll be back in a sec!"
She then ran off enthusiastically to talk to the silver tongued devil and Robin was seriously debating on whether or not he should go spy on them or continue his internal battle over just out right proposing to Maribelle or just letting her go so that she can be with someone that is in the same class as her. Then Robin remembered Nowi's little pep talk. 'Look Robin if you really love her as much as she does you..' Now Robin's tactical part of the brain was working, Nowi was friends with Lissa and she was a well known gossip. Lissa spreads information through nodes and the first nodes are her good friends, one being Nowi. Now if Lissa had gotten her claws into who Maribelle had fallen for then Nowi would be the first to know and now that he was really thinking about it, some past conversations with Nowi AND Lissa have pointed to Maribelle having feelings for Robin. Hell Lissa had brought up the whole hot springs thing multiple times and Robin never did figure out who the woman was that the others had been interrogating at the springs. Yes like a well thought out strategy or one of those dumps that slide right out so you don't even have to wipe, it was perfect. Or he was over analyzing and compensating for the fact that he was scared stiff of proposing.
"Well, that's because I wanted to know what YOU liked in a woman."
Eh? Robin turned to see Nowi blushing more furiously than Cordelia and Lon'qu at their sparring sessions after the whole bit where Lon'qu lost their mock battle to look at Cordelia's leg.
"Why do you care so much, anyway?"
Yes Nowi, why do you care so much? Now Robin had completely forgotten his internal strife and was back in predator mode.
For a good minute or so Robin successfully managed to crawl through the surrounding brush in order to make it to the tree line and sneak close enough to get in for the juicy part.
"I know I don't have a lot of poise, and I'm actually kind of short... But I know if I try really hard, I'll eventually become the kind of woman you like. So that's what I'm gonna do. Even if it takes me a hundred years!"
"Cripes, I'll be pushing up daisies by that point!"
"Oh no-you're right. I hadn't thought about that...*sniff* Then...I guess...I'll never be good enough...for you...I'll be alone and...and...*sniff* Waaaaaaah!"
This was going from delightfully mischievous information to put into his journal to awkward as Nowi was from confessing to crying uncontrollably. The worst part, the absolute WORST part about his good friend Nowi breaking down and crying after telling the man of her dreams she liked him was that her crying was blocking out all of their conversation. He couldn't hear a damn thing and he was getting a little irritated.
"And the thing is... I think I like you, too. I can't believe it, but it's true."
Finally he could hear again.
"B-b-but... what about the poise stuff? And being tolerant? And mature?"
"Sometimes things that seem important actually aren't you know?"
"Really? So does this mean... um... You want to get married?"
"You know what? Sure, why not? Let's get hitched and see what happens."
"YAY! Till death do us part!...well until you die anyway. Sorry about that..."
"Heh, it's alright dear"
Now Robin had a very important task to take care of. Inform Lissa of this turn of events so that she could spread this as fast as possible.
000000
Of course, right before dinner a bunch of thugs and hooligans had to come and attack a caravan making its way to a nearby village and the Shepherds would do their best to stop them with one of Robin's patented ten second plans. Although the only thing that went off was when Tharja broke off from formation to break for the village and Robin happened to notice that she didn't have dinner at all that night and he usually saw her at supper since he and the Vaike ate together a lot. Like he said tonight she was nowhere in sight and Vaike had even asked about her before someone said they saw her out towards the edge of camp. Vaike took some food and set out with his goofy grin and of course Robin wasn't about to miss out on this kind of intrigue.
"...Yer thinkin' about the battle today, yeah? About how some folks got hurt? Don't go blamin' yourself for that, now. You did all ya could."
"...I should have done more."
Robin wasn't happy that some of the traders were seriously injured and some killed. He later learned that Tharja had tried to stop some of the bandits before they reached the village, but she couldn't dispatch all of them before they got in some lethal blows. It appeared that it was eating at her more than anyone would have believed, well everyone besides Vaike.
"Here. I brought ya figs and part of a pie. Thought you could use a meal."
"You planned this!"
"...huh?"
"You didn't just pass here by accident. You knew I was upset and followed me!"
"Look, if ya keep askin' questions, this pie's gonna get cold."
"...Perhaps I stand corrected."
"About what?"
"I thought you lacked the ability to understand my mind. I may have been wrong."
"Didja say that? I totally forgot. Now dig in!"
Mmmm yes, yes. Robin was making stellar progress with Nowi and Gaius getting married, now Tharja and Vaike were getting a bit closer as they ate together and made small talk. How could today get any better...
000000
...Oh baby Robin was on fire today, now Cordelia and Lon'qu are getting saucy together.
"I have watched you in battle. You have eyes for only one man. You are in love with Chrom."
Cordelia then turned her back to him and stepped forward a few times.
"Yes I suppose so. I remember all those days I spent fawning for him and then the days spent crying when he married my best friend..."
Robin didn't really know where this was going, but if she wanted to beat Lon'qu's self confidence into a bloody submission then she was succeeding. Robin could see his shoulders begin to sag as if someone had grabbed him and just crushed all of the air from his body. Robin felt like this was NOT how this was supposed to happen.
"...for two years I only wished that it had been me instead and I trained even harder to try and make myself forget. Then I'd lay awake sometimes and I'd think to myself 'why couldn't I have died instead of my fellow Pegasus knights?' maybe if I had then I wouldn't be suffering so. Then this war with Valm came around and I began to think that maybe if I got impaled on the end of a Valmese spear, I'd be out of my misery and I could die an honorable death before people realize that I'm in love with a married man."
...for god's sake lady you are one SICK person. Lon'qu looked like he was going to go and impale himself on the Valmese spear instead while she monologues about her unrequited love to the guy that clearly loves her.
"Might I ask why you care about my heart and who it goes out to?"
Maybe she would get stabbed by the Valmese now, sitting here toying with Lon'qu like that. Of all people, Robin thought that she would understand love and the pain it brings. Now that he thought about it, she might be doing this to enjoy being on the receiving end of unrequited love, so that she could make someone else suffer just like her. Oh that's it, she is going straight to the front lines every time after this...
"...Er"
Lon'qu looked like Minerva had just stomped all over him like the first time Donnie and Cherche had moved into the same tent. Apparently having her master share quarters with Donnie was unnerving and as much as Minerva liked him, she tried to maul and eat him. A lot. Even after they moved in together. Whatever, anyway Lon'qu looked like pure crap after hearing that Cordelia wanted to die since the guy she loved was married and this was the appointed day that Lon'qu was going to propose, or Robin assumed so since Lon'qu held the ring and breathed very deeply before coming to meet Cordelia which prompted Robin to follow him.
"No, wait. I'm not finished yet."
Wow, what a bitc-
"You've given me help and fencing lessons under the guise of repaying a debt. But I told you that you owed me nothing. So what is the real reason?"
"...that was the reason...at least in the beginning."
The usually stoic swordsman sounded like he was going to jump off a cliff after this conversation ended and Robin felt for his fellow man and his quest for love.
"You overcame your phobia of me while performing countless menial chores... I would know your reason for this sir."
"I am not a man who... expresses himself well with words. Perhaps this gift will tell you what you want to know."
It looked like he was going for broke and judging by his slumped shoulder and hanging head, he was expecting the worst as was Robin. In fact, this little display had shattered any and all delusions that Robin had of ever trying to propose to a Noblewoman. Robin knew now that he'd rather grow old and die alone before he ever ran the risk of having his heart torn from his chest like Lon'qu.
"Let me see-Ah, a ring! Oh and what a nice big stone! So many carats... Wow..."
"Put that loupe away! If you don't want the ring, discard it and we will speak no more of this."
Lon'qu appeared to be sick of this gut wrenching conversation as he was trying to end it as quickly as possible now.
"You know I loved Chrom because I thought he was the very embodiment of a perfect man. He is charismatic, righteous, a strong fighter...hee hee."
Was she seriously laughing? Now she was going to run recon and 'accidentally' fly right over a garrison of snipers...
"But now I think that the embodiment of a perfect man is a stoic, loyal, gynephobic swordsman who trained me so that he could get closer to me."
"Muh?"
"Eh?"
Thankfully Lon'qu's surprised outburst was louder than Robins.
"That's right Lon'qu, I don't want to throw away your ring. I want to WEAR it."
"Y-you do? Then...?"
"Yes, Lon'qu I've fallen in love with you as well and I'd be happy to marry you."
"Even in my wildest dreams I dared not hope you'd say yes."
She then wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on the tip of his nose, turning him redder that her hair.
"Heh, yes and now you're stuck with me, I fear. But don't worry. I think we're going to be very happy together!"
"...yes I think we will. Would you mind not kissing my nose though?"
"Oh okay, how aboooout this. Orrrrr this."
She then bombarded him with kisses all over his face and he turned so red that Robin decided to make up a color just to describe it in the journal. After Lon'qu's successful proposal he turned... Embarred. Yes a shade of red for when you're so embarrassed that you turn the same shade of red that only Lon'qu achieved.
000000
It had been a long day and Robin flopped down into his bed to reflect the days events. Two pairs of Shepherds had gotten hitched and another pair were making good progress. Which left Robin with his own predicament. It appeared that the advice he had gotten wasn't far off as both Lon'qu and Gaius seemed to have just gone with the flow instead of planning it out. After seeing the success of his friends, Robin was feeling pretty enthusiastic about his own proposal.
After careful deliberation he had finally come to an ultimatum. The Shepherds were only a stone's throw from a town and first thing in the morning, he'd quickly make his way there and buy a ring and then before breakfast could even be cooked he'd take her somewhere secluded and propose. Then he could finally have closure as to whether or not Maribelle was as madly in love with him as was implied by Nowi and Lissa. Robin felt like he was back in Plegia in the final battle with Gangrel, this feeling washing over him that could only be described in three words, Do or Die. Tomorrow morning would be the day that Robin's life took a turn for the worst or like his good friends, he would do 'happy dance' or be assaulted by Maribelle's affection. Since it was late at night, Robin was really, REALLY hoping it was the second one.