It was a weird thing, the whole after-math of a funeral. It was weird how you were supposed to just, well, get on with it. It's a strange feeling, confusing somewhat - leaves you feeling a little stranded as you're not exactly handed a leaflet on what to do or how to feel. It was just odd to think that once that person was burried or cremated you were supposed to get on with everything, as if that person hadn't created such a big impact on your life. It never really hits you, not until months after when you think about giving that person a call or suddenly remembering that CD you borrowed them a while back - That's when it's most painful.

Rae had done all her deeds for the day, taking as much time as she allowed herself; putting off seeing Finn for as long as she could. But as the day slowly got on, the more it dawned on Rae - she knew she would have to go see him. She had to and that's how she currently found herself outside the block of flats, fighting the urge to do a 180 and not look back but also fighting to keep her key in her pocket. Wait, had she even brought her key? She felt around her body in a surge of panic, scrambling through her bag for that little silver key-shaped fucker. It had to be in there, as she searched and searched for the key that was accompanied with it's little companion aka her monkey keychain; the more the panic grew. Did she even put it in her bag? Had she taken it out of the keybowl under the mirror in her hallway and put it in her bag?

She hadn't. Fuck, how could she have been such an idiot? The more she pondered on the thought, the more she hated herself; because now she would have to press the buzzer to be let in, now she would have to speak to him. Or would she? She turned to look at the damp and grim street behind her, it now looked more appealing than usual. She frowned inwardly and sharply turned back to the door, leaning forward and pressing the buzzer. She then gave herself a mental high five, she could do this. She could go up there, tell him how she feels and possibly sex him into a coma. Yeah, that's right. She could totally-

"Hello?"

Oh bollocks.

Luckily for Rae it was her mum that answered, unluckily for Rae both Chloe and her mum were in the flat - meaning her and Finn couldn't be 100% alone. Rae had been there for exactly thirty-six minutes, she only knew this because her eyes kept glancing to the clock on the living room wall every five bloody minutes. She was sat on the armchair, whilst Linda and Chloe sat on the couch; talking animatedly about the latest episode of Neighbours. Rae let out a bored huff, well this was fucking pointless; there was no way she definitely was going to get some alone time with Finn now - especially after being told he was currently doped up to the eyeballs on new medication and Night Nurse. She would get more sense out of a bloomin' two year old.

Rae hadn't realised she had been arguing with herself for the past ten minutes until her mum was hovering over her, barking her name in her face, "Wha'?" Rae snapped, in which Linda huffed whilst putting on her jacket, "I said me and Chloe are nippin' down t' the ASDA to get some bits, d'y' want anythin'?" When Rae finally registered what Linda said, she gave a head shake, "No ta", "Alright then, well won't be long. Remote's over on the couch, y'know where kitchen and all tha' is and if y' need anythin' Chloe's got 'er mobile, so just give us a shout if owt comes t' mind", Rae gave a nod. Linda left the room, only to pop her head back in a few seconds later, "Oh and Rae, if Finn wakes up there's some Horlicks in the cupboard. So, just give him a cup o' tha' and he'll just go back asleep", Before giving Rae a knowing look with an eyebrow raise before hovering for a moment and then leaving. Rae frowned as she rethought the look over and over in her mind, trying to piece it together before then letting the thought go and brushing it away - no need to dwell on something that had passed.

Of course the thought of being alone in the same house as Finn caused Rae's stomach to knot but after the information about Finn's current state Rae had recieved from both Linda and Chloe; Rae decided that her original mission could wait and her new mission was to look after him. Which is why she now found herself on her feet and making her way towards Finn's bedroom to check on him, her stomach knotting tighter when she could see the dark outline of his body apparent as he was laying in bed; his tired face reflecting off the TV light as he slept heavily on his side with his mouth slightly parted and half of his face squished by the small and comfy mountain of pillows. The moment she saw him, the exact moment she saw him laying there; hair a mess and all vulnerability upon his relaxed features, was the moment she had an urge to crawl into bed beside him and just simply forget everything. But that was stupid of her to think that her, of all people, he would want to spend time with - if anything she was the last person he wanted to see.

But she needed him, or at least feel him - even if it were for the last time. Carefully as she could she crept into the room and the moment she stepped over that carpeted line; she felt a sudden pang of sadness. A sadness that was caused by the memories and the overwhelming feeling of love that weighed heavily on her chest, all the memories of where she could climb in beside him no problem and curl into his side; happy and safe, flickered in her brain like an old home video. But now? Now, she felt like she was stepping into unsafe territory. Why was she so afraid? This was Finn; her best friend of so many years, of course he wouldn't kick her out. In fact, surely he'd invite her into his bed with open arms. He'd done so many times before, so what difference would now make. In fact, if anything, he'd especially do it now considering he was in such a dark and vulnerable place. Or maybe he'd want to venture down that dark path alone... No, Rae couldn't afford to think like that. Rae stood for a moment, just taking him in; if this was the last time she'd get to do this then she needed to take it all in.

For fuck's sake, Rae, he wasn't dying; she scolded herself. She then cautiously and timidly wandered over to the empty side of the bed, before slowly lifting the covers up and sliding in beside him. Rae then laid on her side to face him, her eyes slowly trailed over his face. She started at the thick, jet black eyelashes that gathered together in a clump just above his cheeks and fluttered as he dreamed, she lowered her gaze ever so slightly to the dust of freckles that faintly crowed the bridge of his nose before then dropping to his nose; considering this was the first time she'd ever look at him, like properly looked at him, she had never realised the slight bend from the football accident when he was thirteen - the daft sod got far too into it and went to slide tackle the mid-fielder when he hadn't saw the player from left defence come flying at him with a volley that resulted to six stitches and a night in A&E. As each minute passed, Rae spotted a new scar, scratch or flaw along with beauty; the kind of beauty that was rugged and with a boyish charm. She found her eyes attach themselves to his lips, the curved bottom half that had a small dimple in the left hand corner that Rae often told him it reminded her of a bullet - as if it were an old mark that proudly displayed itself that it was a battle wound and he had survived the unthinkable. But the only scars that painfully reminded both Finn and Rae that he was lucky were the ones that were around his forehead and eyebrow... The sole reason Rae despised Nelly.

The more Rae studied him, the more the feeling of being a creep slowly faded and soon transcended into a feeling of tiredness. She then found her eyelids give in on her before she became completely mellow and found herself losing touch with reality and falling into the deep pit of unconciousness; missing the moment Finn cracked open one eye - to make sure she was laying beside him. Of course he had been awake, he had been awake from the moment the intercom of the flat buzzed and her voice rung out throughout the building. Although his eyelids felt heavy, he fought to keep one open; to make sure she wasn't a hallucination. Maybe he could just slowly and lighty twirl a finger around a strand of her hair, or run a pinky finger over the back of her hand - to feel the smooth of her skin and that she wasn't a figment of his imagination. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, he was torn between waking her, to see the glisten of her eyes and to letting her sleep so he could savour the moment he had ached to happen in so long. Of course, he chose the latter. If she in fact was a hallucination then he'd take those meds every minute he was awake, just to have her there - even if it wasn't real.

Although it hadn't been spoken or addressed, they both had put their white flags up; just so they could both get that peaceful sleep they deserved. Maybe when they woke up that things would be different, or simply the same but both let it go for now. They may have fought like cat and dog, and were both as bad as each other but what was that compared to years of friendship? And yes, Finn had to admit he was still miffed with her but he had missed her. He missed hearing the light snores leave her lips and then the pissed off mumblings when he would wake her up by nudging his foot against her's and telling her to shut up, he missed sleepily fighting for his side of the quilt back, he missed her hand searching underneath the covers for his whenever she would have a bad dream, before he would come to the rescue and lace his fingers with her's - He just fucking missed Rae.

He then felt his chest tighten as he suddenly found himself thinking of Chop suddenly, thinking of how selfish he felt for thinking about Rae when Chop hadn't been dead longer than three weeks. But Finn needed to face it; Chop was gone and Rae was there - surely Chop would want Finn to be happy? Finn felt like an arse for wanting to be happy, whilst Izzy would never be happy again - well she would just not completely. But Finn needed to find his own happiness first and get himself well again before he could even consider helping anybody else and if that was selfish then label him selfish as Finn couldn't do anything about it, Finn decided to fuck it and get on with it; well not get on, get on with it but get on as in patch things up with Rae. Maybe not scare her off with the whole 'I love you' Crap but more 'I want my best friend back, let's stop being dickheads and hug it out.' Although it pained Finn that Rae would never be entirely his in the way he would like, the idea of them being best mates again made Finn's chest swell with happiness.

And that's when he felt it, her hand glide around the covers before frantically searching. His lips twitched at the corners before he found her hand in the sea of cotton and linked his fingers with her's. He then heard a sleepy huff be released from her lips.

It was official. They finally had their best friend back and they both had to admit that in those passing few moments;

They had turned into right cheesy fuckers, hadn't they.

Chloe had to admit, she was incredibly miffed when she came home to see Rae asleep on her side of the bed. But, after the stern instruction from Linda to leave the pair be as they needed that sleep; Chloe had not option but to sit with a pout on and do what she was told - One thing Chloe knew and that was to never disobey Linda. But a few hours down the line and when it was slowly getting to just before ten, Chloe's fingers twitched with impatience - surely they still couldn't have been asleep?

Her and Linda were sat in the kitchen, at the table and on their third cup of tea since returning home. Any more tea and Chloe would be pissing Tetley for the next week. Linda could sense Chloe's restless energy, but knew that Rae needed that sleep and needed to be with Finn. Although it was wrong, it was also right. It was right that the two needed each other, it wasn't healthy they spent too much time apart as much as it were bad for them to spend too much time together.

Linda had to admit, as much as she would've liked Finn and Rae to be together she couldn't help but feel for Chloe. Chloe deserved happiness, just not happiness that came in form of a lad with an earring. Linda wasn't fooled by the coldness and bitchy exterior that Chloe displayed, behind the make up, the clothes and the pout; Chloe was a very jealous and frightened little girl. For years Linda watched Chloe blossom into this bright and beautiful young lady who hid behind belly tops and too much foundation. If you took away the clothes and all things fake; Chloe would've gotten herself a nice fella and not just quickies in the back of a Vauxhall. Now, as much as Linda loved Finn; she knew that Chloe deserved better. Although Linda wanted the best for Rae; she knew Finn wasn't enough for Chloe. All Rae needed was a cuddle and a cup of tea, as where Chloe needed things; materialistic things along with the odd cuddle - things that Finn couldn't provide.

Back when the trio had only just entered their teen years; Linda watched Chloe slowly become the wedge between Finn and Rae, and Linda often wondered what would've happened if Rae had admitted her feelings and grew some balls and bagged Finn. Would Chloe have become that bitch? Would Rae have had that breakdown? It was strange to think that one event could've prevented a thousand little things. But Linda never dwelled on it too much, as there was never any point in induldging on the 'What ifs' Of life. If that were so, she'd never get on with anything.

When Linda could see Chloe about to combust out of her skin, Linda asked Chloe to check on the other two - in which Chloe was out the door before Linda could finish the question. And then five minutes passed, yet Chloe didn't return. Then ten, and soon enough twenty minutes had passed and Linda had finished her tea. She frowned, surely Chloe hadn't fell asleep as well.

Linda pushed her chair out as she rose to her feet before wandering through the flat and into the main bedroom, shocked to see the trio laughing hysterically at an old story from when they were kids. The three then turned their attention to Linda and judging by the messy hair and drooping eyes; Rae and Finn had not long been awake. Finn sat up against the headboard, Chloe sat on the edge of the bed and Rae sat slightly more forward than Finn; showing through her body language that Chloe had tossed Rae one or two glares over the closeness of her and Finn in the bed.

Linda, trying not to seem overjoyed that the three were actually making conversation and were happy about it, beamed, "An' wha's goin' on in 'ere then?" "Y'alright, mam. Were just talkin' 'bout tha' party y' 'ad ages ago and me and Chloe doin' spinnies and Chloe ended up bein' sick in the flower beds", Rae laughed, in which Finn gasped and croaked; his voice like gravel, "All over the Bluebells?" Off Rae's nod, he let out a disgusted laugh, "Aww, mate, tha' were 'orrible", Chloe then piped up, "Fuck off, I felt sick", He rolled his eyes and quipped, "Shouldn't done spinnies then should y', dick'ed", She smacked his knee, the two then shared a smile. Linda then scoffed a laugh, "So tha's where my Lambrini went", The four shared a laugh before Linda then asked Finn and Rae "Y' two look knackered, y' been up long?" Rae shook her head, "Nah, 'bout fifteen minutes, summat like tha'", Linda nodded, taking it in before asking, "'ow y' feelin', Finn?" He shrugged, "Alright, s'pose. Bit drowsey but nowt a cup o' tea can't sort", Linda cocked an eyebrow, "Were tha' a hint, Finnley?" Finn then screwed up his face, angling his eyebrows in different positions before then asking, "Would it be cheeky of me t' say yes?" Linda gave an eyeroll and playfully tutted, "Only cause it's y'", His face relaxed and his mouth curved into a smile. Linda then asked, "One sugar is it, love?" In which he nodded, "Yes please", She then asked the other two did they want one, which they both polietly declined.

Linda then watched for a moment as the three returned back to their story, turning thirteen again as Finn did his finger snap, Chloe did her seal laugh, and Rae rolled her eyes but smirked at the two in amusement before Linda then turned and slowly closed the door after her; leaving it open ajar slightly - just liked she used to. She walked through to the kitchen with a spring in her step and she flicked on the kettle, unable to stop the nostalgic feeling from growing. She couldn't help but feel like she was back in her own kitchen, when she had those daisy pattern curtains that she hated but couldn't throw them away as Rae loved them, Chloe had her braces, Finn always wore his batman top, Rae always wore her scrunchie and fancying each other was just plain wrong in their eyes. It was sort've... Sad, in a way. Sad the way Chloe hadn't had braces for three years, Finn's batman top was too small and Rae rarely wore her hair up anymore. Sad the way it wasn't even her own kitchen Linda was standing in, but a kitchen that was in the flat that belonged to somebody she still saw as a little boy and sad the way that those daisy pattern curtains that mashed with the chipped tiles on her kitchen walls had been long gone for a year and now were replaced with a boring blue.

As Linda's mother used to always say; "Enjoy it whilst it lasts because today will be the eldest Rae's ever been and the youngest she'll ever be ever again."