I quickly got up, only thankful for not dying again. Or so I thought. Not because I thought I might have from that kind of blow, but that it felt quite appalling. A thought had suddenly struck my mind: Had I lost the emerald? I hurriedly scrambled my right hand into the correspondant pocket. It was met with that familiar cold crystal texture. If I ever needed the emerald for something, thankfully it was still here.

"That's a big doorway..." I said to myself, staring at it-which-must-never-be-named-again in a mezmerized fashion. A blatantly ginormous text lit up on it that read "L7". It must have been locked up tighter than Fort Knox. It was considerably daunting, and haunting... and taunting... Failed pretty bad, I have.

I pretended not to notice the diamond-shaped hole located you-know-where. There had to be another way...

"OPEN SESAME!"

Nothing moved even an inch. All I heard was the blatant echo of my not-so-valiant effort. Surely all my work wasn't wasted trying to advance one more level?

"LONG LIVE OLMEC!"

Once again, the after-effect of my simpleton-quality voice responded in an annoying tone. Evidently it was locking me out of the last level. At least I'd hoped it was the last level. Perhaps I could just give up here and say I lost the game in level 6? No one's noticed me anywhere past the lava surfing flop... I hope.

I would've thought to keep this nonsense up had I not refocused on you-know-what. I finally took the blue gem from my pocket, keeping a firm grip on the curious beast. I held it up against you-know-what, moving it around, looking for a possible hint. Which Chaos power should I use? Blast? Spear? Control? Or just plain Chaos? It was only when the jewel liable to get stolen by a certain Bat Girl jerked itself into that dent that I remembered what I was doing. The best idea evar subsequently came to me, just like that. I calmly relaxed my grip as I secured it into the curiously-shaped dent. As I'd predicted, it didn't fall to the ground. But then something moved. I could hear a deafening rumble, no doubt coming from the abrupt reaction. The gap between the doors widened the slightest bit, but then they drifted a considerable amount apart. Soon it was plain to notice the left half of the formerly blocked walkway swinging wide open. I'm in! I slowly, ever so carefully walked through the now unblocked walkway, snatching the gem as I breathed the stereotypical stale air.

Level 7

Cake.

There were no signs of anyone, or even anything else among the green-and-black checkered background. Looks were definitely deceiving, however. I casually waited for something to disrupt the peace. Just too peaceful. It was almost disturbing. It was at a time like this when I wished I'd kept my portal gun... because I'd most likely use it to practice my freestyle skills. Again, my lack of dance made it difficult to bust a move. Sure, I'd accept any dance-off thrown at me, but I'd probably be thrown on the GROUND! "Nobody wants to see your moves... shorty!"

I thought I was beginning to slowly lose my mind. It must've been my price for dissing a fallen angel. Because I'm the expert on disrespect.

I heard a curious crashing sound. At first I didn't want to know exactly what was going on behind my back, because I had more stuff to worry about. At least I thought I did. I wasn't really keeping track of everything that was going on. All I could remember was that I was in huge trouble.

"How'd you get here so fast?"

I jolted my head in the opposite direction in response to that uber-familiar voice. "Sonic&#$!?" Cue Black Sabbath. "How'd YOU get here so fast!?"

"What can I say?" he blankly said and shrugged. "I'm the fastest thing alive!"

"Look, I got here first, and I've been really anticipating this moment all my life, and besides, I don't wanna get in any more hot water than I'm already in now, so how about you just leave me alone."

I turned to face the desolate background of the most boring level evar, or so it seemed, for now, not expecting to hear a pair of hurriedly scrambling feet anytime soon. I was just waiting... waiting for something to happen. That something involved a final boss — typical for a video game — which would've been the only "real" boss.

"Why do you want to be left here? You think I'd just let you get yourself killed by this final boss, if there even IS one?"

"I'M ALREADY DEAD," I snapped, although I didn't know for sure.

I could imagine the look on his face, even though I had my back turned towards him. "How's that possible?"

"I've said too much already. Geez..."

The feeling of being watched had returned to haunt me. This time, I wasn't about to freak the freak out. For starters, I didn't even know how to do that. The other thing was, this time around I had a pretty damn good feeling as to what to expect. Ok, mystic voice. You got me. Hit me with it.

With pleasure? Not even close. "Oh yeah, Shadow asked me to find you if by some odd chance you drifted ahead of the Z-pack. I'm not gonna ask how you did that, but I'm gonna guess that it had something to do with..."

I had to stop him from saying anything more disturbing than that. "Dammit, Sonic! Why do you and Shadow and everyone else always have to monitor me!? I'm freakin' 13, 4COL! I saved the world once, 4COL! Is that not enough proof that I'm capable of doing stuff on my own!?"

He gave an awkward look, as if making a blatantly obvious point. "It only proves you're crazy, doing something like that while resisting help and advice from freaks like you."

"Are you saying that I have a problem? After all these years?!"

"Look, I don't have to put up with your sense of cocky, but the rest of us choose to only because... well, I don't know why. You should be thankful you haven't gotten yourself killed all these years."

"That's the problem! I sorta got into a heated brawl with Amy two levels ago..." I was starting to sweat like crazy.

"What made you think that was a good idea?"

"I didn't want to!" I yelled defensively. "But she started attacking me as if there was no tomorrow! I tried to reason with her, but she wouldn't listen! Am I just too hard to reason with!?"

"I don't know. I haven't tried since... you know what, forget it. I don't even wanna know."

I shook my head in disgust. "For the past three years, you and all your friends have turned down the idea that I was there to stop the stupid Time Eater when literally no one would back me up! What am I to you, huh? Answer me, dammit!" Yeah, I was referring to what actually happened in Sonic Generations after I'd crashed Sonic 4.

He folded his arms in disgust. He was tapping his foot over and over, as if by instinct. Clearly he was thinking about someting... perhaps this Sonic Generations?

Blue finally snapped from his thought bubble. "I don't wanna offend you with this, but you really weren't supposed to have any involvement whatsoever in that game. For starters, it would've made a great comeback for me. I can't believe they made us put up with Secret Rings, Black Knight, especially Sonic 06. But seriously, that's what this whole deal is all about — me and my speed."

"Do you ever give a damn if one of your friends wants a game of their own because they get jealous?"

"All I know is that Sega don't, that's for sure. I mean, they used to, but we all know how many times that idea went wrong. You got Tails Adventure, Knuckles' Chaotix, even Shadow the Hedgehog. What's next, a PS4 came called... EGGMAN?"

Wow, to think he was that technologically advanced. "No, it's a PS2 game called Pro Evolution Soccer 15."

He gave me that look again. "I'm not laughing."

"I'm not laughing, neither! I can't believe you still can't get those words embedded into your brain! Geez."

"You idiot! You ruined my chance at a new deal with Sega!? I could've been living the glory days of 1992 all over again, but NO, you had to..."

I drifted away from his pointless scolding momentarily, trying to recall that fateful 20th anniversary of his, or so everyone would've referred to it...

November 2, 2011

"Come on! We don't want to leave him without any backup, right? Let's go! All of you! He did all this for us, and now it's time for us to return the favor! Get moving!"

A crapload of freaks were dashing to the door, evidently following orders from the black hedgehog himself. I was still rather dizzy from meeting the same fate as everyone else that day — not including Silver or Shadow, for whatever reason — when it came to being sucked into different points in the space-time continuum. I ended up in Hank Hill Zone. And yet I liked Family Guy a lot better. I tried to follow them out of that wasteland he'd called a wasteland.

"Not you." He suddenly blocked the exit on me.

"What?" I muttered, dumbfounded. "Why not me? I don't know if you're hiding something from me, but I know that blue hedgehog is out there saving the universe or something, and I have a right to back him up just like the rest of you... ya know."

He pressed his fingers into his quills, shaking his head dismally. "Look, I'm not trying to kill your dreams, but I don't know if you're ready to take on something like this. I've known these guys longer than any of us have known you, and I feel like you might get too overconfident... you know, taking unnecessary risks. Like, enough to bring us down."

"Where the hell did that two-tailed fox go, anyway?"

"He must've tagged with that blue idiot. He does that all the time these days. Yeah, I don't get what's so special about him either. I mean, he's younger than most of us."

"ME TOO. GEEZ." If they really despised me like I could never imagine they would, I wouldn't stop at trying to redeem myself for whatever I done done that I couldn't readily think of. Evar. "Why don't you trust me? This could be my only chance to redeem myself for whatever I done done that I can't readily think of right now! Or..." What was the term I was looking for? "My big break!"

"I'm sorry, but we've all agreed that you staying behind is for the best. Also, you're still wrong. There should be more opportunities to come in the next three years."

"Look out there!" I pointed to the scene where freaks of all sorts were just chatting, and sure enough, a young rabbit was part of the commotion. "How do you explain that!? What the hell would Cream be doing where I should be! How old is she, anyway?"

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER," he spazzed above me. "Actually, she's very polite, and lady-like... and smart with her actions."

I'd had enough. I poked my head through the wide space in the doorway and shouted, "Hey, who here is cool if I tag with you behind the sidelines?" I could've sworn a million heads turned towards me but remained mute.

I felt an appalling shove, sending me falling in the opposite direction, flat on my tail. Then I heard the door slam shut in front of me. The familiar figure eyed me in contempt. "You get up, you're grounded."

WHAT!? I was not ready to submit to his force, even if he was the Ultimate Lifeform. The third rule in a list of rules I'd made up for making comebacks was to mention my ex. But since I never had a girlfriend, I used the first name that came to me: "Maria would've wanted me to."

His reaction was priceless, and yet all the more screwed up. "OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" He curled into a ball and charged that son-of-a-bitch attack on me like a beast. I kicked him literally at the last second, right when it looked like he was ready to blast me to the wall. Then as he tried to recover from that falter, I dashed onto the roof of some loser's house and took cover.

The clueless ebony freak got back up and continued to hunt me down. "OK, I KNOW YOU'RE OUT HERE SOMEWHERE. YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM MY ULTIMATE POWER."

I continued to eavesdrop on the not-so-bloody scene. I almost lost it when I noticed about a billion lame reactions — the majority of them gave weird looks to that ebony hog-the-hedge as if he was the freak. I couldn't tell you how ecstatic I almost got at the sight of not being the outlier for just one second!

I could barely overhear their barely-audible-from-a-distance blabbing. The voices passed themselves off as all-male, all-serious with a dash of whatever here and there. Ever so carefully so as not to have any eyes thrown on the roof, I peeked at the commotion in disgust and noticed a red echidna trying to confront him calmly as if he'd gone insane. For whatever reason, I only started to understand the dialogue after I saw the flashes of red and black.

"I swear, that kid was in there just now," that all-too-familiar dark, deep voice protested. "He tried to kill me! I'm lucky to be alive!"

"Lucky?" a much lighter tone inquired. "I thought you were the Ultimate Lifeform!" As the "rumor" surfaced into my cranium, I began to get the hint that they were out to get me!

"I don't care. I'll get rid of him if it's the last thing I do!"

"SHADOW!" the sharp-fisted freak shouted over the wrath of his darkness. "First of all, you wanted to destroy Sonic, remember? Second... the guy you're talking about could be more useful than you think. He might be able to give us a serious advantage over our target. I don't care if he's different in any way; I feel that everyone should have their position regardless." I was rather surprised to hear this, and yet all the more relieved that not everyone had sided against me.

"You know what, I'm done. Let's just get the hell out of Dodge. Maybe he won't find out where we went!" Sure I would. "I got the Chaos Emerald."

"Wait a minute. If he doesn't go... I won't."

"You're missing the point, Knux! I don't care how much you hate this idea. Our situation depends entirely on Sonic, and he's the key to our deal with Sega. Now let's get a move on. All of you." He slowly dug out a bright green jewel and muttered something under his breath. Literally every creature in the area crowded around that mezmerizing texture.

He took a deep breath, and shouted in that booming echo: "CHAOS..."

I took a chance... and threw my undies on the stage. No wait — I'm underage.

I know what you're thinking. My actual huge risk involved me jumping into the Chaos Energy created by the mob of animals with so many names. (You know, freaks, anthros, Mobians...) I didn't care if they saw me, as I thought that Shadow would've called it a split-second after anyone noticed me. God, let this be over...

"...CONTROL!"

I'd literally come two inches from hitting the ground, three inches behind Shadow, when I was struck by a blinding light. The high-energy flash nearly crippled my left arm. Exactly why it didn't affect my legs or right arm (or my head) as much was way beyond me, but it was all momentary, and when I came back to my senses, I found myself hanging on the side of a floating rock. I could see two blue hedgehogs right in front of me, facing the "Time Eater" thing, or so they called it. Talk about zero gravity!

"Who was that guy?" I heard a young voice inquire.

Nothing came forth from his thought bubble. He definitely had to have been thinking something pretty nasty to answer the rabbit as a means of mentally traumatizing her... yeah.

Some time later I thought to spy on the two Sonics. I then realized what everyone else was talking about, what with stopping a bad guy that could eliminate time and space... and me... even the Mongols.

"Ok, whatever you are, if you wanna avoid an embarassing beatdown, you better give up now!" And yet I still didn't quite understand why the younger, lighter blue Sonic remained mute. Maybe he wanted to.

The resulting response came right on cue. "You're not in a position to demand anything, you nasty littly pincushion!"

"Dr. Eggman?" Apparently a certain fox boy was a little more surprised to notice a certain egghead more than I was. "But how?"

Something else puzzled the crap out of me — a suspiciously similar voice answered, "He had a little help!"

"Dr. Robotnik!" interjected a certain fox girl (just kidding).

"Nobody calls me that anymore." Great idea! Make it so that you two are literally the same person! No one will ever be able to tell who's who! "If you would be so kind as to explain, gentleman genius Dr. Eggman from the future?"

No way... Little did I realize that his statement would spark a living hell.

I momentarily sat behind all the action. I began to debate my motive for getting myself here, with no definite boundaries, level ground, you get the idea. After all, no one really liked Sonic that much since 2006. But then again, I was looking for a little recognition, although I never got the hint that it may have been the wrong kind.

Some maniacal dude's maniacal laugh cut short my thought bubble, followed by a moment for recuperation. "We'll see who's crazy after I destroy both Sonics!" As if by instinct, I got momentarily excited. "...FOREVER!"

"Destroy ME?" the blue blah har-d-har'd at a politically incorrect Eggman. "You and what mustache? I beat you all the time by myself — and now there's two of me!"

"Then I'll have twice as much fun defeating you!" Where did I put my camera!?

The Time Eater thing started firing laser cannonballs. Maybe not laser, but they were probably built to kill. Of course them pincushions dodged them like a boss, retreating in opposite directions.

"Keep moving!" Sonic yelled. You can probably guess which one said it.

As they kept staying in the game, Eggman was going all the more crazy. I didn't say PSYcho this time because this was from 2011, remember?

Finally the blue champs built up enough energy to charge at that beast like a beast...

"OBJECTION!"

The blue chumps were practically swatted away, not even close to affecting its life count. Don't get up... don't get up...

A giant hand popped from a time portal, looking to deal some damage. It was quite shaky, so much that I almost panicked (again) when it waved violently towards me at first. Eventually it homed in on the two Sonics.

The devastating blow that followed somehow had a haunting impact on me, even with Sonic and Sonic almost fully destroyed, even if I wasn't the one stomped on to the point where my bones were blatantly close to being crushed. Was this finally my time to shine?!

"That was just to soften you up. Now it's time to meet your doom!" It was. I was sure no one else could've been holding a Chaos Emerald anytime soon, since I was sure they didn't have pockets. I took my starting position in a hurry. Ready... set...

"You can do it, Sonic!" What (but more importantly, who) was that?!

"Come on, Sonic! Smack him!"

"Ugh... not you!" Dr. Eggman growled in a freakout tone. I would've done the same.

Even Shadow had given in. "You've got this, Sonic."

"You can win, Sonic."

Where did all these freaks come from!? I thought I had a huge lead!

"You've got the power, Sonic!"

"Focus your spirit."

"We're with you guys!"

"I believe in you, Sonic!"

"Don't give in, Sonic!"

"I know you can do this, Sonic!"

Make it stop...

Even Tails and Tails had taken the sidelines.

"You can win, Sonic!" she said.

"You always do!" he said, as if pointing out the blatantly obvious.

I tried to get ahold of myself, thinking this was all just a nightmare sprung from the best thing in the universe. I pinched my side over and over. But then I saw seven Chaos Emeralds circling around the two Sonics... and then I lost my cool.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

I've been walking through these dead farms, but I don't mind...

"...And you really should leave business like that to me! Look around you. We're in a video game. What if they were documenting all this without letting us know? Like they did in 2006?"

I've been screaming through these dead lungs, but I can't find...

When I slipped from my daydream, that was all I could recount from the blue blah's rant. "Do you really think they would?"

Being that I love you so much...

"Do you really think they wouldn't?"

In the end, they all will say...

"Ok, now you're just being too persistent. And really paranoid. You'll get your chance. That's what Sh—"

Breaking someone else's heart again...

Of course he got the wrong idea. "You say 'that's what she said', I'll Sonic-spin the life outa you."

Find the little evil perpetrator...

"No no no. As I was saying, THAT'S... WHAT... SHADOW... SAID... TO ME."

And feed him to the hungry alligator...

"Kid, for the last time, I do not believe you! Now leave me to fight this last boss and go back home!"

You want it all, you want it all...

"Ok, how do you not know my name by now? And where is this last boss anyway?"

Love is not about the profits, nor the riches in your dreams...

The shaded background suddenly lit up behind me. I heard a familiar ugly voice shout, "Congratulations! You made it to level 7! YOU WON!"

The arms of time are breaking off...

I figured blue was too pissed at me to take any notice of this act of cunning. When I turned to face a direction opposite mine, I gazed in awe at a sight like nothing I'd ever seen up to that point. Too bad its sheer ugliness nearly burned my eyes out.

Civilization is on trial...

"Welcome to the game." His voice was now utterly sinister. As soon as he finished that sentence, the entire arena was filled with a mob of giant monsters, beasts, robots, the like. So apparently this was the last major boss battle. "You ready?" I shouted to a certain blue hedgehog. But when I turned to my left, he was gone already.

The clocks eliminating time...

"DAMMIT!" I interjected, grabbing a blue emerald with my left hand and chukking it at the wall, accidentally putting a hilariously horrible curve on it. But then it took a turn for the blatantly weirder. Instead of smashing into a million pieces, it passed right through the wall as if it was imaginary. A loud thump shook my eardrums.

Do you believe in me?

And then I felt it.

I'll make sure to put up the next chapter in time for Christmas. In the meantime, DFTBA, R&R, BBL, BYOB, etc., if you GMD.