Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker
Chapter 13: Double Trouble
"Maribelle please do it for me?"
"I'm still not comfortable doing this for you, it's embarrassing!"
"Please dear, I never even asked until we were married. If you won't do this for me even when we are together then when would you even consider it?!"
"But...other people might hear it."
"Wha-what do you mean? The other married couples do things like this all of the time! Please, please, PLEASE! I've waited and waited for this opportunity and I just want it to happen once."
"...fine, but I want absolutely no one to hear of this! I'd just die of embarrassment."
"...physically impossible, but okay! I won't tell a soul."
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"So bubbles, she finally did it for you?"
Here were some of the Shepherds playing a little poker in the late evening as the convoy had stopped on it's journey to the so called manor off the coast of Regna Ferox. Gaius had set it up in hopes of earning more candy cash, but surprisingly Sully was wiping the floor with everyone even the tactician responsible for keeping them all alive on a daily basis.
"Wait she finally pulled that crap for you? I never thought I'd see the day that she did that for a man, even the one she finally got hitched with."
"Who did what for who Sully?"
Stahl, Gaius, Sully, Robin, and Donny all turned to see the merchant girl Anna with that devilish grin on her face as she now saw an opportunity to get some easy money in the form of gambling. Sully had her own grin on her face as lady luck seemed to be on her side tonight.
"Why don't you ante up and maybe I'll tell you girlie."
"Alright, how much?"
"It's just five to get in."
After this Robin went back to scoping out the competition. He knew Stahl was in the crapper as he was too hungry to even focus and Donny was new to the game and didn't have much of a chance. The obvious problem was the thief who's job was to deceive and Sully who was currently punching him in the rectum with every hand she played.
THUNK
Robin and some of the others turned quickly with hands on hilts as they tried to spot whatever had made that noise and all were met with the sight of five Large Bullion.
"Ge-Ge-GEE HOSAFEEN WHERE IN BLAZES DID YOU GET ALL OF THAT!"
Although Robin's outburst was a bit out there, the others agreed nonetheless in wondering where Anna even got 50,000 gold from.
"I thought you said it costs 5 to get in?"
"Anna I'm a pig slopper an they're all runnin this gig on a soldiers pay, we were talkin 5 gold pieces not the entire savings of the Royal Family!"
"Now hold on Donny, I think the little lady should pay up since she's hoping for a little intrigue from this game as well. What do you say lady? It's gonna cost you at least 3 Bullion to get in."
Sully was feeling it and if she could get 30,000 more gold out of this then she could finally get Gregor to stop doing odd jobs so that she could try to kick his ass again.
"What you think I just fell off the kneader wagon? Tell me who this little secret is about and maybe I'll join in."
"It's about our heroic tactician and his prim and proper wife. Apparently she finally gave in and did something very special for him."
Sully grinned as did the rest of the table as they knew anyone would jump in feet first for dirt on Robin or even a Noble like Maribelle. Anna wasn't observant enough to notice that even Robin was grinning like a mad man and choking back laughter along side his friends.
"Well count me in! If that lady tries to buy a dress for the upcoming celebration from anyone else I'll be sure to run this dirty little secret by her. Now that I know she'll be coming to me I can ramp up the prices a bit as well..."
Everyone at the table had a good chuckle as they were all on the same level with what they were doing.
"Well Robin why don't you...describe this little rendezvous with your wife."
"It would be my pleasure Sully. You see Anna, I had to beg and plead with her just to get it to happen right? Finally she gave in to my pleas, but I could tell she wanted to do it too. I heard that she hadn't done this for any of her former suitors from Lissa so I would be the first. She was a little self conscious about other people hearing it so we found a little patch of grass out by a small stream."
"Oh man this sounds like it's gonna be good. I haven't got my moneys worth yet so keep talking."
"Right so I brought a blanket along, didn't want to get too dirty right? Then she decides that she was going to stand anyway. I feel like we should have gone farther away from the camp because it was loud, I mean really loud. But I didn't let her stop since I'd been waiting so long for this."
Stahl had his face hidden in both hands as he stifled laughter and Donny had pulled his pot downward to try and hide his reddening face. Sully tried coughing to keep herself under control and Gaius just smiled at this.
"Finally she reached the climax and it was the loudest part of all. I'm sure that someone must have heard it, hell I bet Naga could hear every bit of it. I had to say it was absolute rapture so my senses, I was mesmerized. Alas it ended and I'm not sure when it'll happen next. Maribelle isn't so keen on playing her violin for others."
"Right so go back and give more details on...what?"
Now everyone at the table was busting a gut at the merchant's expense.
"What happened was you paid 30,000 to hear the delightful story of how I finally convinced my wife to play violin for me. Plus you can't just pull your money out of a poker game, that's just wrong."
Anna just dead panned as she was in the hole 30,000 and had no gossip to make up for it now. Nor could she try to get Maribelle to buy an overpriced dress with threats of leaking this story to anyone. The game continued on despite Anna still sitting there without playing with her face was twisted into an expression that gave the idea she'd just seen a Pegasus fly out of Robin's buns hole with rainbows shooting out of its eyes. Thanks to Anna's generous contribution to the game, everyone left with more gold than they'd put in and Robin was pretty darn happy since they were scheduled to meet another future child the next day.
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"So your name is Nah correct? You weren't saying that to try and disregard my asking your name right?"
"YES for the last time my name is Nah, N-A-H. Why did mother have to give that confusing name? Anything would have been better than that!"
Robin had been clearing the hallways of the manor when Nowi had come across her own daughter and now Robin was trying to become acquainted with the newest Shepherd.
"Well I'm sure that you would rather be talking to your father instead of having me hassle you. I believe he's somewhere back in camp and if you go back with Nowi it should be much easier to find him."
"My father? Oh yes, he's still alive just like mother is too. Wow I just, I just can't believe they're still here. What is my father's name? I'd rather not come off as disrespectful when first meeting him."
"Well aren't you the polite one? His name is Gaius and he's the red haired rogue with all of the candy. Shouldn't be too hard to find him."
Nah gleefully ran off to find her mother and then to meet her father for the first time. Robin's excitement was now renewed as he too wanted to see his future child.
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"Alright Robin, we've got word that there's some kind of artifact on the north west side of Regna Ferox that should grant someone who uses it decent power. We aren't sure if it's just rumor, but I don't think I need to tell you that after just meeting Walhart's vanguard we need every edge we can get."
"I don't know milord, wandering across the continent yet again based off of a rumor might not be the best use of time. What say you Robin?"
"I agree with Frederick, we just crossed to this side of the continent and going back across for an artifact that may or may not grant us some kind of power? Even better is, if it was worth getting then someone else would have gotten it by now. I bet the Khans already have people on it if it's that great."
Robin had to admit that getting those last few Shepherds together would be much easier if they were to be stationary. Plus it actually was bad to waste time and effort going to find some artifact that might not even exist. That and he could sleep in a little if they didn't have to muster for a march.
Chrom and Frederick both nodded in agreement even if Chrom still felt that it might be a good idea. Regardless they both trusted Robin and his insight on these kinds of matters.
"What do you suggest we do then Robin? I've received no word on other children and things seem pretty quiet."
"We could just stay here for a little while, give everyone a little time to rest and hang out. Hell we've hardly spent time together since you married a girl. Ooooh gross!"
Unfortunately for Robin, both Frederick and Lucina were the two worst people to be telling jokes to and the implication that Chrom dabbled in the love that dare not speak its name was a tragic mistake. After having to thoroughly explain that it was just a joke, Robin decided to make use of his free time and get those last few together.
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"Hey Vaike, the horse that rides from hell hasn't been out to get you lately. Or myself for that matter. You decided to get your thrills from something besides watching women bathe."
"Naw Ol Teach still tries, but Tharja don't exactly make it clear where she bathes. I mean...yeah never mind, Ol Teach tries to sneak peeks at the creepy mage lady. Somethin about her makes Teach think someone that isn't him is number one."
"Perverted tendencies aside, maybe you should consider making things serious between you two."
"That's why they call me Teach little man, I know everything. Like I knew to go buy Mrs. the Vaike her ring so I could make our romance official."
"Official? So you two are in a mutual relationship already?"
Maybe this one would be the easiest to date.
"Naw."
"You're both aware that you have feelings for each other then."
"Nope."
"Uh...you shared one wild night together that eased your burning passions and upgraded your miniature lance to a superior one?"
"Haw haw, Teach wishes. That'll be the case when I give Mrs. the Vaike the ring though."
"So the romance you two share involves absolutely no romantic interactions whatsoever. Just you bragging about, well...nothing."
"Not too sure what you said Robin, but I'm guessin you were complimenting Teach on his rogue charms and lady killin skills. To that I say thanks and don't worry, me and Tharja will be able to celebrate alongside you and Maribelle in your little party."
Robin would have to say that he'd seen better skills from Lon'qu when it came to killing women. Well metaphorically and literally. Anyway Robin couldn't remember the time that Vaike had successfully wooed a woman, he was sure that Virion had better luck before meeting Olivia. Even better was that he never remembered the time that a man had no luck with a woman he had a thing for and then bragged about it. More importantly when he got the other couples together he usually pushed the men to go in for the kill, but Vaike and his vapid nature might pose a serious problem. Robin might have to make a serious deviation from his usual operations to get this marriage going...
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"Hey Tharja how are you doing?"
The mysterious and creepy mage was now looking up from whatever concoction she had been working on to stare at Robin.
"...the love hexes start working now of all times?"
"What was that?"
"Nothing, nothing. To what do I owe the pleasure Robin?"
"Oh well I was coming to inquire about your plans for the upcoming celebration. I was hoping to find out if you were planning to come with a special someone so I could plan accordingly like I've done with the other couples."
That was a fat load of feces as it didn't matter if people came together or not, they'd all just drink and dance the night away. Of course she didn't need to know that as he was working his word magic like he used to in the days of yore.
"...before I answer I need to ask you something. You haven't been having weird dreams lately right? No dreams with me in them?"
"Funny that you ask, I've had some odd dreams about killing other Shepherds and-"
"That's great, but no erotic dreams about me right?"
"None that I can recall."
"Good I thought that the removal of those hexes didn't work for a bit."
"What was that?"
"Er nothing. Why do you care about who I bring to this celebration anyway? Shouldn't you worry about keeping that wife of yours from giving you a concussion with that undersized umbrella?"
"Heh didn't take you for a joker Tharja. I was just wondering because Vaike wanted to take you, but he wasn't sure and I was trying to help him out."
"I've got that under control. Soon he'll be all mine. Then I can get him and his rippling muscles to do whatever I want. Heh heh."
"It's nice to see the woman taking initiative, you have my utmost respect Tharja. But you aren't going to do anything too disturbing to him right? No black magic or mind control?"
"..."
"Tharja?"
"..."
"Sir Robin!"
Robin was torn from his worries involving Vaike becoming a mindless slave to Tharja by Frederick.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have most wondrous news. I have finally proposed to Lady Lissa and we are to be wed."
"...congratulations. Now you can stop pestering me to get fit and focus on your wife."
"Afraid not Tharja. A sound body leads to a sound mind and you are in dire need of some physical exercise. Nevertheless I have come to inform you since you are the one who had inspired me to act. You have my thanks Robin. Uh Robin?"
Both Tharja and Frederick were looking upon his face as he had his mouth agape and his hand was twitching slightly. Tharja and Frederick looked at each other with mutual concern over the tactician who had a tendency to space out.
"Yes well, in other news Chrom had requested that you see him before the day is out. He has a mission slated just for you."
Robin was now less concerned about missing out on a juicy confession/proposal and more worried about this mission. Usually this meant something big like the final battle in Plegia or the initial fight against the Valmese. What could possibly be more important than asking Lissa for the latest bit of news, more specifically her account of the proposal so he could record it.
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One day ago Robin was butt hurt about missing Freddy's proposal and now he was dragging his heels back across the continent. Chrom had gotten word from Flavia and Basilio that there was something worth getting in those ruins. Of course Chrom had felt it necessary now to go and retrieve it, but Robin made the case that there was much more to be done on the eastern side of the continent. There had been rumors of a mythical staff in the desert and it seemed about as likely as this nameless artifact. He couldn't care less about anything else besides getting Panne, Kellam, Ricken, Miriel, Vaike, Tharja, Olivia, and Virion together. Then Chrom had the brilliant idea to send Robin to get the artifact with a small detachment of the Shepherds so that they could do it quickly. Thankfully he was able to get the single ones on the mission and a few of the married ones to keep cover. Unfortunately Maribelle was going to stay with Chrom and the others so Robin would be using his tears as lube when the nights got lonely. Not that it would be any different with her around but...
Regardless Robin didn't see much merit to this expedition. When night fell they'd be less than a half day's march from the ruins since they'd taken some horses from the main convoy and then they'd be sorely disappointed when they found a rock that looked like Naga or something. Speaking of night the sun was starting to set and now was the best time if any to call it a day.
"All right guys lets make camp. Eat and go to sleep, I'd like to get to the ruins by late morning if possible so go to sleep early if you can. Virion that means you. Olivia can't sleep either if you spend the night whispering sweet nothings into her ear."
"You wound me sir! I only tell this woman of my love for her. Why I'd take on the entire Valmese army to simply stand next to her. I'd climb the tallest mountain so that I-"
Great. Another one of Virion's "love" fueled rants.
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"...oh man my head hurts."
Looking left there was nothing but shimmering pillars and glistening waters and the scenery was the same to the right. Then a lump of purple and black lying behind her begins to move. Rushing over she tries to help this boy.
"Hey are you alright? "
"Well my head hurts, but I guess I'm fine."
Now he was sitting up while she was resting of both knees.
"Did you save me or something? Were we attacked?"
She went to answer him, but she had no idea why they were there.
"Actually I don't know. I can't remember anything for that matter."
"Hmm me either."
"Well what's your name? Might as well get to know each other."
"My name's Morgan and I'm a tactician in training!"
"Really?! Me too!"
"Your name is Morgan or the tactician in training part?"
"Both actually. Now that I think about it we both have the same cloak and you look eerily like me."
Both just looked at each other as they were clad in the same cloak and had faces resembling each other.
"Well we should probably call each other something besides Morgan so that we don't confuse each other."
"Okay how about I'm male Morgan and I'll call you female Morgan."
"Not what I had in mind, but Okay!... so why do you want to be a tactician? I want to be one to live up to my father's legendary name."
"Well I... Huh, I don't actually remember now that I think about it. I don't even remember my father just my mother."
"Funny because now that I think about it I don't remember my mother."
"KILL...FUTURE...CHILD"
"Eh?"
"Muh?"
Both turned to see risen coming from the northern part of the ruins and they heard some noises coming from the south as well.
"Guess it's time to put our skills to the test. I've got some scary looking baddies up north."
"I've got some ugly ones down south female Morgan."
"Hm there are a lot of them for only two people to take on. This is going to be tough, but I'll make father proud."
"Yeah Maribelle would be happy to see me giving them what for as well."
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Robin assumed he was dreaming as he had the same surreal sensation that he got during his other ones. That and he was standing in a field with nary a tree or notable landmark in sight. Just long grass that shimmered in the light and had a relaxing feel to it as he watched it dance in the wind. The sky was a bit ominous as it had a red tint to it. He also figured it was a dream since he wasn't controlling his movements, just doing what his body told him. He walked for a while until a large fortress came into view. He saw people frantically moving on the walls and people pouring out on horses and in wagons. He couldn't help but notice that the escapees were what appeared to be civilians and a few soldiers. Most of the men and female soldiers were mobilizing out in front of the fort with the ranged fighters on the walls that were still intact. It looked like this fort had seen better days and these soldiers were about to make a final stand to let the others escape. Robin couldn't think of a better reason to have the foot soldiers meet the enemy outside of the fort before the gate had been breached. It seemed like they hadn't seen Robin yet as the ones in the front were looking around frantically or praying to themselves. Then Gregor, Virion, and Vaike appeared up front. Robin realized that when he dreamed of killing Gregor it was in this kind of setting, but the details were vague and distorted. He felt that his senses had been heightened as he could see pretty far in detail and hear the conversations in the distance.
"Oy Virion, why don't you go back on wall with other archers? Maybe you live to see new day if Gregor holds out long enough."
"That is the sensible thing to do, but I wish to fight here with my old friends and to see the enemy defeated first hand. I wish to protect my son and wife with all that I am. I have no better purpose in life than to see those two off safely even if I should fall here."
"Hey don't go talkin like that Virion after all the Vaike and Gregor got yer back. Teach may be a little old, but he got tenure for a reason. His skill is timeless you know what I'm sayin? Besides I ain't about to die when Mrs. the Vaike and little Noire are still running to Ylisse."
"He's right Virion. Gregor shouldn't die when lovely wife Sullykins and daughter Kjelle make with the running to the rest of the Shepherds. Besides we are legendary warriors! We fight in Valm and Plegia, we give them such a hard spanking that they go crying to mothers!"
"Yes well those wars were different. Last I checked we didn't lose our tactician or Miriel in those conflicts."
"Come Virion, have faith that Robin and Miriel come back to us. Gregor is sure that they are just having a little R&R somewhere."
"I can assure you that Miriel won't be making a return to this world anytime soon. As for me I'm sure that you won't be so happy to see me when you learn that I'm the one that has been putting this fortress under siege."
"Wha-Hey it's Robin! Ol Teach was worried that you'd kicked the bucket. What you came back to try and show teach up huh?"
Robin wasn't sure why he was saying all of this or why he was even dreaming this. He could easily see where this little confrontation was going though and he didn't like it.
"You speak as if you know of Miriel's fate dear friend. Why not indulge us this information and tell us where you've been as well."
"I killed her just as I killed Chrom. Like I'll kill you as well Virion. Maybe your son will become the better warrior and pose a challenge to me unlike yourself. Inigo wasn't it? Hopefully he'll have the sense to take up fighting as opposed to failing to bed almost every woman he meets like his father."
Robin
"What about old Teach hm? If I remember correctly your daughter Noire was a bit...sickly when she was born. I could probably crush her skull now as easily as I could have when she was born."
"Hey it's one thing to bag on Teach, but no one talks bad about my baby."
Robin wake up
"How about you Gregor did you pass on that ridiculous speech quirk to Kjelle? Or did she turn out all butch like dear old mum? Maybe then she'd actually give me a challenge unlike the rest of you Shepherds. Yes well I'd love to chat about this and that, but I have a world to ruin so let's end this shall we?"
Now Robin came to realize that hordes of Risen elite had been following him to this fort and his friends didn't stand much of a chance. He had to think of a way to get control of himself and stop this madness...
HEY ROBIN
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"...what happened?"
"You received some news that I assume was distressing and proceeded to faint."
"What news could have done that to me? What is going on Miriel?"
"Oh father I'm so glad that you're alright!"
"Father?"
Robin was met by a woman a few years his junior with blonde hair and a cloak that stuck out like a sore thumb. Behind her was a young man about the same age with black hair and the same cloak. Hell their faces looked fairly similar as well. In fact it wouldn't be a far cry to say they looked like him.
"Wait did you say I'm your father? Lucina said that Maribelle and I only had a son named Brady. Is that you?"
"No my name is Morgan. While we're talking did you say that you're married to a woman named Maribelle? Like a noble with hoops for hair and a nasty attitude?"
"Um yeah I'd say she can have a nasty attitude when I'm talking with other women sure. She definitely has the hair too."
"Well I guess that means you're my dad then too!"
"Uh alright. So how about you? What's your name?"
"Morgan!"
"...Ok so you're both named Morgan."
"Yes!"
"Yes!"
"..and you both came from the same future as Lucina?"
"What?"
"What?"
"You know Naga sent you back to prevent Grima from bringing the world to the brink of ruin and all of that?"
"Father you must have hit your head pretty hard when you fainted. Like we came back from the future right?"
"I don't know female Morgan, he does look exponentially younger than he should to be our father. That coupled with the fact that we seem to be struck with amnesia adds a little bit of truth to his explanation."
"I guess you're right male Morgan. Maybe we are from the future or something."
"Oh oh or maybe he's from the PAST."
"Whoa nice thinking male Morgan!"
"Hey father tell me about you, I can't seem to recall much about you."
"Yeah tell me about mom since I can't remember her at all either."
"Hang on here I thing YOU should tell ME about yourselves since I don't know a thing about either of you. What are you guys like? Do you take after your mother that much? Do I have to worry about my mannerisms in front of you two?"
"Erm Robin we're all glad that you've been reunited with Morgan and uh...Morgan but we need to find that artifact that we were sent here to find."
"What's that Virion? Didn't quite catch that."
"I said that we need to-"
"Hey tell us about this book we have here with all of these romance stories in it."
"Yeah what's with that dad?"
"I think that's a story to tell behind closed doors kiddos."
"LAAAAAME"
"LAAAAAAAAAME"
Robin was pretty excited to see that he had three children total now even though two had the same name. He was sure that was Maribelle's idea since he'd never do anything that stupid. Well the prospect of one child was enough to get her excited, but with two more on the way she was in for a real nice surprise. Although they seemed a bit chipper for two people who couldn't seem to remember much. Like father like daughter and...son or whatever.