Robin: Tactician, Gentleman, and Match Maker

Author's Note: I have absolutely no problems with Stahl or Libra in fact I don't dislike any characters from Awakening besides Excellus. I have plans for Stahl, but his appointed time has yet to arrive and as for everyone else I'm still a little wary of where I want to go with them.

Chapter 15: Male bonding

Robin was now leading his wife to the center of camp where many of the Shepherds had gathered in order to hear the explanation for the two strangers clad in the same clothing as the master tactician. He had covered her eyes as he wanted to see how dumb her face woul- how wonderfully surprised she'd be when she saw that they had two other children, one who displayed the same golden sheen in her hair. More importantly, Maribelle had expressed a small bit of sadness when she realized she wouldn't have a daughter to teach the finer points of Noble life to as women were different than men. She then resolved to find Brady and shape him into the very pinnacle of Noble men to which Robin felt sorry for the poor bastard.

"What is it dear? Why the secrecy?"

"That's how it will be a surprise, you won't know until you see it so stop asking."

"Watch your tone with me I am your wife and you'd do well to remember that! Now tell me what I'm going to see!"

"Nope."

"Fine...is it a new pair of riding boots?"

"No."

"The new stained glass chess pieces I saw in town the other day?"

"No."

"Oh new bows for my hair?"

"Even better."

"Two new pairs of bows for my hair?"

"Your dreams for material possessions are fairly small for a woman who is so rich."

"So yes to the bows?"

Robin now stood with his wife in front of the two who had decided to pull their hoods over their heads in order to try and circumvent his order to NOT prank their mother when they met. He was going to try and silently tell them to knock it off but Maribelle took the silence and stop in movement as a sign to look. She threw his hands aside only to be met with the sight of two hooded figures who seemed to be shaking. In reality they were choking back laughter as they had no idea that their mother would put the beat down on them for this kind of prank. Honestly Robin was looking forward to seeing someone that wasn't him getting bonked on the head.

"Robin darling, what is this?"

"Surprise!"

"Surprise!"

Now both stood with arms spread and goofy smiles plastered to their faces, no longer sporting their hoods.

"Morgan!?"

"You know these two Lucina?"

Lucina was now moving away from Chrom and towards the two to inspect the young woman as she was sure that this wasn't real.

"Do I know you miss Lucina? I don't really remember much besides good ol' dad over here."

"So you don't remember me? Or any of your comrades? Surely you must remember something."

"Mmmm nope. Don't even remember much about myself to be perfectly frank."

"What about your journey here? You remember nothing of how you came to be here?"

"I'm afraid not. Maybe we could change the subject since all of this not remembering is making my head hurt a little."

"A nice topic for discussion would be who these two are Robin as you failed to answer me when I asked what was going on earlier. Most unlike a gentleman if I might add."

"The one with the black hair is Morgan and the one with the blonde hair is um... Morgan. They are our son and daughter."

Now both Morgans had the goofiest smiles with a thumbs up and their dads hand on one of their shoulders.

"But how? In our time there was only one Morgan and there is no possibility of the other being Brady."

"Lucina is right. We'd recognize Brady and that one definitely isn't him."

Robin looked towards Lucina, Kjelle, and Nah as it appeared that Lucina may have gotten them in on whatever secret shrouded these two.

"Robin I thought Lucina told you we only had Brady in the future?"

"What's this about Lucina telling you stuff from the future?"

Now Chrom decided to interject and many of the Shepherds were starting to get in on the action. Many were getting testy about if they had children or not. Well Lissa was getting testy, everyone else was just murmuring to each other about asking the three future children about the other kids.

"Alright, alright. Let Lucina and the others explain this situation to those who are actually involved and if we feel the need we'll share it with you too."

Robin had taken charge of the situation and now everyone began to dissipate as the children along with Robin, Maribelle, both Morgans, Chrom, and Sumia headed for the strategy tent.

Now everyone stood in a semi circle around the map and it was obvious that something was wrong as both Robin and Maribelle looked at Lucina for answers with Chrom and Sumia looking a tad nervous about their daughter being interrogated.

"Alright I guess I'll begin then. After proposing to Maribelle I decided to ask Lucina about our future children and she began by saying we had more than one. She then corrected herself saying that our only child was Brady and I had no reason to doubt her until now."

Robin then raised a hand to the two air heads who had no grasp on the situation as they took pieces representing the army and played with them on the map.

"I don't know the exact details of what is going on, but I DEMAND that she relinquish any information that she has kept from us. NOW!"

Few could deny that Maribelle could have a threatening presence when necessity demanded and now was what appeared to be one of those times.

"You can't talk to Lucina like that she's my daughter and that makes her a princess! I know that she wouldn't lie or deceive anyone so leave her alone!"

"I'd hardly call her a princess, someone worthy of that title has no reason to skulk about in the shadows lying to others! Now tell us why you withheld information about our child this instance!"

Usually Sumia would have fallen prey to such a violent display, but the defense of her daughter was enough to spur her into action without fear.

"I've heard enough of this! As your queen I demand that you stop treating my daughter as if she were a criminal! Chrom tell them to stop all of this!"

There it was. Robin saw this coming as soon as the two women started yelling. Start the crap and then tell your man to finish it. After reading all of those romance novels Sumia lent him he knew that the only way for him and Chrom to settle it would be to duel to the death or fight and eventually end up making out with the woman in question joining in. To be honest Robin would prefer dying to that second option, but hopefully it wouldn't come to either of those.

"Listen I think we need to stop and talk this over for a minute."

"What are you saying Robin? Don't you agree that she should apologize and then tell us why she lied in the first place?"

"I think that maybe yelling and screaming isn't the best way to get the information we want. Maybe you should apologize for flying off the handle like that."

Thankfully Chrom had the good sense to try and coax Sumia into doing the same since she had gotten out of hand as well.

"Sumia I think you should apologize too. We shouldn't have this kind of bad blood between friends right? After we clear this up we can ask Lucina politely to tell us what is going on."

Chrom gave Robin a thumbs up and he just returned the gestures as they had just averted a disaster more destructive than the lava erupting from the ground west of Ylisstol(chapter 1). Suddenly Chrom found his thumb being twisted into a position that was unnatural and Robin found a parasol smashed over his head.

"You're coming with me Robin and you-"

With that Maribelle just pointed at Lucina.

"when I'm done with him I'm coming back and you are going to tell me everything or so help me I'll snap that puny twig you call a spine!"

"Just you try wench, I'll run you through with my spear if you even come near my daughter!"

Now Sumia was dragging Chrom off by the ear and Robin was unlucky as he'd already told Maribelle that he hated having his hair pulled so she quickly took advantage of that. As they exited the tent they could see that all of the Shepherds had turned out for the show and they didn't even bother trying to hide the fact that they'd come to eavesdrop.

When they'd finally reached the privacy of their tent she immediately threw him forward with him landing on his side.

"What the HELL is wrong with you Robin!"

Robin wasn't exactly sure what he'd done to warrant this kind of behavior, but he needed to figure it out quickly as he'd never seen her so angry.

"What exactly do you mean?"

"I ask you to assist me in getting that filthy little strumpet to answer for what she has done to us and you tell ME to apologize?! We're married, we are supposed to be a team why would you not side with your wife on something like this?!"

Robin had no clue why she was getting so worked up as she was the one who was wrong in this situation. She'd gotten a little too worked up just like Sumia, but once Robin explained that she was wrong she'd come around and then they could go make up with Chrom and Sumia...

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Robin found that apparently women were always right and he was either to nod and agree or end up kicked out of the tent for the rest of the day. And so here he sat with his two kids as they had pulled Lon'quisms when the yelling started and refused to talk after mom and dad got into it. At least he was able to talk Maribelle out of snapping Lucina's spine until tomorrow at the earliest.

"You guys aren't getting divorced right?"

"Where the hell did that come from?! No of course we're not getting divorced, we just had a small disagreement about how she didn't handle that situation with Lucina the best that she could have. I didn't really think we'd fight like this so I don't have a strategy for it. What could I possibly do to get her to come around."

"Ah I see we are kindred spirits when it comes to marital problems friend."

Now Chrom was walking toward the stream that Robin had been sitting next to and he proceeded to sit on Robins left side.

"Kindred spirits? Am I to assume that you were forcefully removed from your tent as well?"

"Indeed. After trying to convince Sumia to calm down she hassled me for not immediately taking her side and started throwing some of our possessions at me. Have to say that I didn't think she'd be able to get the jewelry box with just one hand. What about you?"

"Maribelle hit me over the head with her parasol after yelling at me for the same thing. I don't know if she wants me to come back later tonight, but I'm feeling that I might just sleep under the stars so that I'll actually wake up tomorrow."

"Haha you know you're in a real marriage when your wife finally kicks you out. Lets you know that your life isn't some fruity, made up fairy tale. I remember the first time Sumia and I got into it. She was so mad that she kicked me out of the Exalt's chambers and I decided to go on a diplomatic expedition for a week to let her cool off."

"Wait that was why you left? I always wondered why you felt it necessary to go back to Regna Ferox for no real reason. What were you fighting about the first time?"

"I had some doubts about having Lucina since Sumia had said it was that time of the month where if I did the nasty inside of her she wouldn't-"

"Hey, hey, HEY. We've got virgin ears over here!"

Now both Morgans were looking at Robin as they had been clearly engrossed in Chrom and his story.

"Hey dad don't worry me and female Morgan are grown ups! We know that to get a girl pregnant you pee inside of her uh...front butt or whatever it's called."

"Looks like you need to have a talk with your kids about the birds and the bees there Robin."

"Yes well back to the story. You were having doubts about Lucina being born?"

"Ah yes I felt like maybe Sumia had tried to dupe me into it by saying that and I decided to ask her. She instantly became hostile and it seemed like that time of the month where she usually just eats chocolate. Safe to say that if you accuse your wife of trying to get you to impregnate her under false pretenses she won't take it very well."

"Like when you don't take her side in a fight?"

Both just hung their heads as that last statement was a reminder of how their wives had an iron grip on their Sacred Stones even in the middle of war time.

"You know Chrom I was thinking before that all the guys haven't hung out lately. Hell the last time I remember us being together was after the whole hot springs shenanigans."

"That's right that whole night was just too funny! And then the next day when you called the signal with nothing happening. Oh good times. I think you're right Robin maybe all of the men should have a night to themselves, no wives and no kids!"

"Sucks to be you two cause dads got some excess testosterone to burn up! Go talk to Maribelle and see if you can get her to calm down for me okay?"

Before either could answer Robin and Chrom sped off in hopes of getting the men of the Shepherds together for a crazy night together.

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Here the men were in a situation that wasn't too different from a few weeks ago after they'd been caught peeping. They had taken all of their tarps and fashioned a poor quality tent. They were now drinking some mead and telling stories as Robin had been correct in saying that they truly hadn't been together for some time.

"Gotta say things are a lot different than last time, instead of running away from angry women it's the same except we're married to them now!"

Everyone had a good laugh as most had their share of drink since they didn't actually indulge in it that often.

"Hey Gaius, explain how that whole thing works with Nowi since she's like what ten? She could be your daughter man!"

"It's quite simple for two reasons. She looks like she is seven first of all and you know what they say gotta get to them before the grass does."

Gaius was met with jeers as now they all had disgusting images in their heads.

"Just kidding you weirdos. She actually isn't that young she is barely a head shorter than me and the only part of her that isn't matured like an adult would be her...you know...chest area. She isn't that different from most other women I've been with."

"Except she's like twelve!"

Again the Shepherds were a bit tipsy and they were having plenty of fun poking at each other. Now Vaike was trying to question Robin about his relationship.

"Hey Raaawbin. I heard that you and miss prissy got into a fight! Well we all heard it even across camp right, har har! So you think she'll play your...'violin' to try and make up or do you think you'll have to play her skin flute since she's probably packing one bigger than Gregor!"

"That's big talk from a man that is married to the scariest woman in the Shepherds. I'll bet she performs hexes on your short ax and then she makes it dance or something with dark magic!"

Again all of the Shepherds save some of them like Ricken were busting a gut. Honestly it was mostly a blur as Robin could tell who was being made fun of, but he usually wasn't paying attention to who was doing the teasing.

"Lon'qu since you're like afraid of women parts and stuff, does Cordelia do all of the heavy lifting in the relationship or do you put on a blindfold when it happens so that your back isn't the only thing stiffening up."

"Hey I *hic* can get down and dirty when the wife calls for it. Hell I'm pretty sure she's forcing it on me six times a week."

Now all of the men were staring at Lon'qu and trying to make him as uncomfortable as possible before they all shouted praise in unison.

"Hey you remember that time when Robin beat Lon'qu in a duel? Maybe we should have like a rematch or something man. This time Lon'qu can't be distracted by a woman since he's already seen her naked."

"I'm sure she ties him up and he can't even see her through his tears."

"No I'm serious I think that Lon'qu should have won. That and I lost some gold on that match."

"Yeah Lon'qu think you can beat me now that your wife can't distract you again? Or maybe you're afraid that I'll make Regnant foxes reigning swordsman look like a chump for a second time."

"Oh yeah well I know I can't lose to a man that was made his wife's bitch earlier today."

"Ohhhhhh damn!"

To an outside ear it may have sounded like there was a fight brewing, but in reality the guys especially Robin and Chrom, were trying to have some good laughs before there came a time when they couldn't do this kind of thing anymore.

"Alright Robin the sun is still on the horizon. I'll have you beat before this bottle hits the ground."

"Oh yeah well have at you, you dirty scallywag!"

Lon'qu dropped his bottle and drew his sword quickly closing the distance between him and Robin. Robin drew his sword and was ready to parry his strike. Then Lon'qu tripped about 5 five to the right of Robin and Robin himself just fell right over.

"I see what you did there Robin. You're a crafty one I'll give you that."

"Ha I can barely undershtand you through your slurring you Feroxi dog. As Basilio says you've a farts chance on a windless day against me."

"Well we'll see who farts first here you Ylissean...cat."

THUNK

"Wow Lon'qu you hit me without even moving. I guess I'll put you on the front lines and watch you kill everything if you can do that."

Suddenly the majority of the men scattered and Robin recognized the look on Lon'qus face as it was the same one he wore earlier that day. The one of a man whos wife was about to put him through the verbal ringer. It occurred to Robin that Lon'qu probably wasn't the one who hit him over the head either.

"Are you dueling while intoxicated?! With actual weapons no less?! You, you're an imbecile, a Moron, a-a...a RETARD!"

"It is most unlike a Noble woman to say retard dear. Haha...ha. You don't look very happy dear, maybe if I play your violin like the guys told me you wouldn't be so up tight right Lon'qu."

With this the usually stoic swordsman nodded his head vigorously as his wife then slapped him for ignoring her.

"You will most certainly not be touching my violin! You are a delinquent and now I'll be taking you back to our tent so that you won't make a fool of me or our family any longer!"

"Nooooo babe don't take me back there its scary cuz you yell at meeeee. Plus you misunderstood what violin was, they were saying that you have a penis and the violin was a crever euphemism for sexually pleasing your penisss. Haha, hahaha. It was pretty funny dear you should have been there. Haha. Penis."

Finally Robin and Maribelle had reached the confines of their tent although Robin had a feeling that most people would hear what was being said, or yelled in this case anyways. Hell he could hear glass shattering right now from the other men getting scolded.

"First of all I'll have you know that I do NOT have a penis, I am a woman and the fact that you think other men making japes about you wife is acceptable reflects on what a poor gentleman YOU are. Secondly..."

Robin didn't really give two craps since he was drunk and he had gotten drunk to avoid this exact situation. He didn't actually realize what a pain in the ass being married was since he figured they'd be all lovey dovey the whole time. Instead like Chrom and Sumia, after the courtship ended the woman brought out her fangs and had no problems creating a scene over stupid stuff like Lucina. Robin realized that they hadn't even resolved that issue in the slightest although if anything he was happy that he and Chrom were still on good terms even if Maribelle was probably never going to put out now. Whatever Robin didn't care too much as he was drifting to sleep from boredom. He figured that Maribelle would reprimand him later, but he would just deal with it some other time. More preferably when he wasn't drunk and tired. Or never.

"Are you sleeping?! Why you ingrate I see that those lessons I gave you were nothing more than a ruse to try and bed me is that it?! I'll just go and stay with our children since their father is proving himself to be lowborn filth!"

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Here comes the bride. Robin could instantly remember that tune as he'd heard it at Chrom's wedding and he had been trying to think of ways to incorporate it into the communal celebration as well. He could hear it on an organ and he had to say although he didn't have an ear for music, even he could tell that this was an exquisite performance. Suddenly he came to the realization that he was the groom as he was standing in the right spot with all of the male Shepherds lined up next to him all the way up to the wall. He looked over to see that Lissa, Sumia, and Olivia appeared to be the bridesmaids as they were clad in very elegant dresses. Robin turned to see his bride Maribelle being walked down the aisle by what had to have been her father as that was tradition. Robin really hoped that wasn't him because he was a big, BIG man. He had dirty blonde hair with what Robin would call and extended 5 O'clock shadow as it wasn't short enough to be just that, but it was no beard either. He'd say he was a good six feet tall and he was just so...big. Like if he got Robin into a head lock and then flexed, Robin's head would have popped like a melon. Then there was Maribelle and for some reason with the angelic lighting and maybe the angle, it was hard to discern her features. There was no doubt it was her because Robin recognized this place as Themis since he'd visited once or twice on official business and then her hair was in hoops. Even on her wedding day she apparently refused to change her hair style.

Then it became a blur of vows, crying, clapping, and then the time came for the kiss. He turned to her in all of his glory with his Grimleal cloak and Grandmasters armor polished to an immaculate sheen. Robin could see deep into her brown eyes and suddenly the scene changed. It was her, but not her. She was a bit older and she had a young boy in her lap with black hair although it didn't look like male Morgan in the slightest. He was very young and it barely looked like he was old enough to talk. Then Robin's lap began to move in a fashion in which he knew wasn't normal. Under no condition, even aroused could his genitals move like that and upon inspection he saw a blonde haired baby there reaching for him. He picked what looked like female Morgan up into the air and she immediately grabbed his lip and began shaking her arm all about.

"Oh how adorable dear, she recognizes you. When a child knows who you are they will touch your face."

Robin turned back to his daughter as she put phalanges in his nose and mouth all the while she was laughing. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but Robin felt like he should feel happy. This was what he wanted when he first came to the realization that he loved Maribelle, a family, children, a life outside of strategies and war. Yet when he thought about his feelings he could only feel...contempt. It was his feelings, but then he felt like it wasn't his feelings.

Too confused to focus on this he tried to surmise where he was from his surroundings. He could tell he was in front of Themis manor as the hill they were seated on gave them a good view of the gigantic building with the small town in front of it. One small tree and the sunset blazing in the distance, this was something straight out of a novel.

"Hey ma-"

"I am not your ma, I am your mother. MO-THER. Say it with me Brady dear. Mother."

The boy became extremely exasperated, a trait Robin figured wouldn't show until he was older. Although Maribelle could bring out the worst in others, even a child.

"OKAY. Mother are you and pa..."

To this she gave him a cold glare.

"Are you and Father leaving again? You were packing staffs and Father was packing away his books and the sword you gave him."

Robin assumed that they would be fighting bandits or something since this appeared to be very far down the line and Walhart was either dead or gracious enough to let them live after kicking their ass.

"Brady dear we can only afford so little time to see you. There is something bad out there that wants to ruin our world, but your father and I will give it what for! You have no reason to worry, we'll come back as we always have and then we can spend all of the time together that you want."

"What are you fighting?"

"There is a big, scary dragon out there and after he came back to life he flew over to a volcano and hasn't done much since. The world has fallen into a false sense of security, but the Shepherds including your father and I know that the threat is still there."

Dragon? What dragon comes back to life and then just sits there at a volcano waiting for something to happen?

"Whatever you say Ma."

"What did I tell you about calling me that?!"

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Robin now stood outside a Mausoleum with the door cracked open. Obviously he was being invited inside and so he continued onward. This was an extremely large one as it was five men tall and its width could fit a good thirty soldiers spreading their arms finger tip to finger tip. At the back was a corpse that was preserved under a glass covering with many large murals lining the ceiling and walls around the body. The body was what he now recognized as his wife upon closing the gap between him and her. She had a few wrinkles here and there, but age had done little to change her beauty. The largest mural that overlooked her corpse directly in front of Robin was what looked like their wedding. She was in her dress and he in his robes and armor. His left hand interlocked with her right and they both appeared to be looking toward the painter as if they were dancing. Of course they both had radiant smiles as they seemed like they'd never been happier. Robin was wrong to assume so as the paintings next to that one was Brady after birth on the left and Morgan on the right. In both Robin had two thumbs up as Maribelle simply held the children with an exhausted look about her, but ecstatic nonetheless.

Robin held a sword in his hands and as he looked upon it he could see that much effort had been put into crafting it. He had never seen the material used for the blade, but the rest had gold trim and a guard covering his hand for when he gripped the handle. If anything it looked like one of the Noble Rapiers that he'd seen Chrom practicing with only this one looked far more expensive. Again the scene changed and now he was still looking at the blade only in a different setting. He looked up to see he was standing on some sort of mountain at the very peak to be exact. He was standing on a small circle of stone and Robin deduced he was at Mt. Prism where the first Exalt performed the Awakening. Robin had done his history homework when he became Grandmaster and he had a good grasp on the finer points of what happened. Why he was here was a complete mystery though. He looked to the sky and he could see the clouds churning as it appeared rain was imminent. A single rain drop hit his cheek in place of where tears should have been. He remembered his dead wife and how he should feel the anguish of losing the one he loved. And yet he didn't. Like he should have felt warmth in his chest upon seeing his child recognize his face, he only felt contempt.

He lifted one leg over the edge of the cliff looking in the direction of Ylisstol. He was confused as there was no reason to end his life since for some weird reason he didn't care for Maribelle's death. Still he leaned forward and was on a quick descent to the bottom. It would take a minute or two to hit the ground and so the memories flashed in his head. His wedding. His children. His friends. The sword. The tome. Then the future. The end. The portal.

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Robin awoke with a start as this dream was far more disturbing than any of his previous ones. So vivid too. His wedding, Maribelle's death, his suicide. What the hell was this? Then Robin felt like a knife was being driven through his temples. Then he remembered what had happened yesterday and he knew what was going to happen today. He was going to kiss his wife's ass for a good week and then he was going to try and work with Chrom to get this whole Lucina business to hopefully blow over. To be completely honest, today just looked bleak for Robin. Married life was a bitch.