In complete honesty; Rae never wanted to get better. Because to her getting better meant being forced out of her comfort zone… And that would kill her. But the whole point of recovery would be to help her, right? Not kill her? It didn't feel that way at the start, it didn't feel like the beginning. Only the end but she went along with it. Always went along with it.

You don't need recovery.

You don't need rest.

You don't need help.

You don't need friends.

You certainly don't need family.

And you most definitely DO NOT need food.

… Then what do you need?

She often found herself repeating those exact thoughts and questions within her head, often getting lost in finding an answer.

Need, it's a strange word isn't it; neediness. It makes you sound weak, pathetic… and lonely. But when you're in recovery you have to learn accept loneliness and find yourself. Rae guessed what she needed was for everyone to leave her alone so she could harm, binge and be happy as she basked in own her self pity and hatred.

Another weird word; happy. Happiness. Something she hadn't felt in a long time, come to think of it she couldn't actually quite remember when was the last time she felt happy...

Something she most certainly didn't feel now. She hated lying to Finn, almost as much as she hated herself. But she couldn't have told him the truth. She couldn't have told him she was actually going to see Al and not Izzy - Especially when Finn needed her. She felt sick with herself but she needed to see Al. For one last time.

But it was always going to be the last time.

She currently felt like she was living in a nightmare. You know the type where you're running from something or someone but never actually moving? That's all Rae could describe it as. She constantly felt that whenever she took a step forward she'd end up stumbling two steps back. She wasn't sure whether she loved Al as a person anymore or the fact that this time she had control of the situation - as this time she said where and when. Ever since Rae was little she never had control. Never had a say in anything, always on a leash. Always told what to wear. What to eat. How to wear her hair. What time she had to be home when out with friends. Do this, Rae. Don't do that, Rae. Well now it was her turn to take hold of the reins.

Which is why she decided it was time to finish it. Once and for all. On her walk to therapy that morning, she thought over how she'd end it with Al when she'd return to see him that following evening.

"So, how have you been?" Brian asked, elbows resting on his knees as he slumped forward in a chilled manner. He took in Rae's face, her eyes were brighter and it were as if a slight glow illuminated from her and around her - the room suddenly lighter and happier compared to the grey backgrounds and vibes she always used to give off. She gave a shrug and a small smile, "Dunno, been alright... I guess. Me and Al are near enough over", He sucked in a breath and frowned, "How do you mean?" She shrugged, "I just decided I can't do it anymore, so am gonna end it. Tonight actually," He pushed out his bottom lip in thought before he gave a nod, "And are you happy about that?" She gave him a smile, a real smile before a confident nod, "Yeh," He gave her a smile, "Good," There was a pause, before he asked, "And how's Finn? How's that going?" Something flickered in her eyes, something he had never saw in her before... It was happiness; pure happiness, "We're good, he's gone down to his cousin's in Manchester for a few days as he needed a break", Brian cocked an eyebrow at that, "And why didn't you go with him?" Rae smirked as she joked, "'cause he needed a break", In which he snorted a laugh.

"When's he back?" Questioned Brian, which caused Rae's to frown as she thought about it. She paused before saying, her face softening with remembrance, "Urm, Saturday", "And are you ok with that? You know, with him being away?" Rae huffed as she thought about it, was she ok with it? Him being so far away? She shrugged, "I guess so, I guess I 'ave t' be as I can't be completely dependent on him", Brian sat back, smiling as he folded his arms, "Wha'?" She asked, frowning at his smile, "Nothing, it's just if this was January then that would've been the end of the world", She couldn't help but laugh.

Finn's knees bounced as he looked nervously around the terminal, exhaling. He drummed his fingers against his knees, tapping in rhythm of the beat that played through his mind. He watched people as they passed, he liked people watching; it was interesting. Across the terminal sat a family of five, two parents, two boys and a little girl; the girl a toddler and the boys no older than eight and six - all kitted out for Disneyland. Another family sat close by, two parents, a teenage morbid looking but pretty daughter and a younger older brother; annoying her. He couldn't but smile, remembering the holiday he had with Jamie and his parents back when Jamie was four and Finn was fifteen. He then moved onto a young couple that sat opposite him, all cuddled and loved up and he lowered his gaze to the floor; the tears coming back once more. He hunched forward as he rested his elbows on his knees, he began to play with his necklace; twirling it between his fingers - a comfort whenever he was stressed or lonely. He swallowed his sadness and let it trickle down his throat; pooling at the pit of his stomach - butterflies fluttered away. Was he doing the right thing?

"Y' sure y' wanna do this, Finn?" Asked Archie from beside him. Finn pulled his gaze from the floor and connected his eyes with Archie's; giving a short and stiff nod. He had to do it.

"Brian", Rae asked, frowning, "Yes, m'dear?" He asked, grinning as a playful tone laced within his voice. "Do y' think I'm better?" He shook his head, "No, but I do think you're ready", She cocked an eyebrow, "For wha'?"

"Flight 2764 is now boarding, please make your way to gate 7. That's flight 2764 to New York", Finn looked up slowly, his head feeling heavier than it did moments ago. He took a deep breath as he sat up straight, rubbing his thighs slowly with nerves. He and Archie then rose to their feet and turned to each other, unsure of what to do first. They stared at each other for a moment; soaking in each other's faces - the memory of one another already burning within their minds. Sure, Finn would be back within a year or two but the length of that time plus the distance painfully burnt a hole in their chest's. What were they supposed to do without each other within that time? Who was Finn going to go to for advice as Archie was the smart one? And who was Archie going to ask for the latest music suggestions?

Chop may had been the best friend, but Archie was the brother. Archie was family. Archie and Finn had been inseparable since birth. Chop may have been the one who Finn went to for girl advice and discuss the latest issue of 'Hustler' with, but Archie was the first person Finn went to when his parents would argue. Archie was the one, aside from Rae, who was at Finn's side when Finn's mum died. Archie was the one who Finn got pissed with when Nelly left Finn all that time ago.

It was Archie. It had always been Archie.

The boys leaned in for a hug and lingered for a good while, the hug getting tighter each passing moment - And that's when they felt it. The reality. The pain. The sadness. Within that long and heart-felt embrace; flashes of memories passed within the boys minds. Finn buried his nose into Archie's shoulder and exhaled, a tiny drop of salty liquid fell down his cheek as he shut his eyes. The realization that Finn was going to lose Rae, Archie and just the gang as a whole was quickly setting in; something that he hoped wouldn't approach so fast. He tried to swallow the harsh lump in his throat but it was no use. The walls were getting tighter by the second as his emotions swelled to boiling point; eyes welling uncontrollably. Archie swallowed the sudden lump within his own throat. Finn lifted his head up and whispered, "Look after the girls for me, yeh?" Archie nodded but couldn't didn't answer. He couldn't answer through the uncomfortable knot that had formed in his throat. They pulled away and Finn scoffed with a smile before ruffling Archie's hair; earning a laugh; breaking the emotional spell over them both. Finn then grabbed his jacket, before picking up his rucksack and chucking it over his shoulder. As he went to walk off, he froze and turned; taking one last glance around the terminal. Archie folded his arms and let the tears go.

"Anything", He stated, as if it were a matter of fact. She frowned but had an amused smile playing on her lips as she questioned, "Anythin'?"

Finn placed his necklace to his lips as he gave it a kiss, for good luck and a blessing, before sending Archie a head nod and then squeezing his eyes shut and exhaling; turning and heading for his gate. Finn guessed he'd never had to face losing his best friend before never mind two… Someone who'd made him laugh and smile more than anyone else ever had, even more than Chop… Who'd brought out the best in him more so than anyone had ever been able to do… There was something about Rae. Something that he had never been able to quite put his finger on, but something that he knew he didn't want to be without. But now he had to as the saying goes, "If you love something set it free, if they belong to you then they'll return and if they don't..."

"Anything", Brian spoke, more firmer but still with a smile as he continued, "You know, Rae, you realise you're not alone, right? Not even adults have their life figured out, it's ok to be a mess. You're living", Rae returned the smile with an amused look as she jokingly quipped, "Y'know, Bri. For a therapist, y' don't 'alf talk some shit."

"... They were never really your's to be begin with."