Chapter 8 – LA Fun & Lonely Blues
We landed. I love you. – Troy
I sighed. I chose for them to go without me but I hated it. I wish they could all be here with me but at the same time, they all needed away from this craziness I was caught up in. When I saw Dr. Johnny on Friday, he said everything was looking great, my scans looked great and I was healing well even though it all hurt like a bitch, AND, I got all of my pumps taken out, which caused me to do a small happy dance.
Now that Troy and the kids were all gone in California, Taylor, Sharpay, Jenni, and Lucille were taking turns to take care of me everyday, which should be a fun battle. Troy and I were in a small routine. I would have two liquid drinks per day, if I felt up to eating food, which was getting better since my surgery. I would eat it then. Troy didn't push me to eat normal food, as long as I had at least two different things of liquid calories. It made everybody happy and there wasn't any fighting.
I was slowly moving around more but I still have plenty of restrictions of what I could lift and what I couldn't lift. My kids were still off limits, hell, a laundry basket was off limits, and a basketball was off limits. It was killing me; I was able to gently exercise to keep all of my range of motion intact. It was slow, the pain was still intense, the little motions were painful, and the lack of hugs was terrible.
Troy picked an old series for me to watch on Netflix, Army Wives, it was good and I could relate to some of it. There was even lists of movies that I would watch with Lauren during the day.
"Knock knock," Jenni poked her head into the room as I smiled, "Hey,"
"How are you feeling?"
"Peachy," she smiled, "Good, my brother sent me over,"
"I bet you all have shifts,"
"We do, how could you guess?" I smiled as she sat down in Troy's spot. "Missing the kids?"
"Always,"
"Yea, it's probably good for them to get away and for you to get some solid rest."
"Always," I picked at the blanket and I looked up at her, "How is Miles and Sammy?"
"Good! They are enjoying spring break with Carson,"
"I bet they are. Are you mad that you have to work all week?"
Her smile shifted, "A little bit," she shook her head, "But I would rather be saving lives," she said with a shrug, "I need to tell you something," I looked up and she smiled, "I'm being transferred to the cancer ward, giving chemo, and stuff at the hospital you are being treated at. I applied for it a while ago and I got it." I smiled, "Jenni that's fantastic!"
"So hopefully, I can be your nurse sometime but that's why I am working so much right now. I'm finishing up at that hospital and transferring over. I need a change."
"I'm so happy for you!"
"It's closer to home and I work shorter hours. It's really the better thing to do with my two little ones plus Carson wants another kid," I smiled, "I'll happily be another aunt to another beautiful baby," Jenni shook her head as she laid next to me stealing my remote from me. "What's on TV?"
"Nothing," I told her, "I have been watching mostly Netflix," Jenni scrolled through, "Oh! I haven't watched this in years!" she flipped on Pretty Little Liars, "That came out right around the time I had Liam." I mentioned, "Never watched it," Jenni gave me a deadpan look, "You have to be fucking kidding me," I shook my head and Jenni shook her head, "We are starting this and I am not leaving until you are hooked."
Jenni started the show and we both were pulled into it, quiet, and ready to see what would happen next.
Jenni was shocked all over again, I was shocked for the first time and the next thing I know, Taylor is in the doorway. "What are you two doing?" she asked with her hands on her hips, "Watching the sixth episode of Pretty Little Liars, want to watch?" Jenni asked as she took a drink of her water.
"Don't you have to go work a night shift?"
Jenni glanced at her watch, "Fuck, yea,"
"Should I continue or should I wait for you?"
"I'll be back tomorrow night and we can stay up all night watching it!" I gave thumbs up as she disappeared down the hallway. Taylor took her spot, "How are you?" she asked, "Perfect really, I'm not in all that much pain and I'm awake,"
"Bonus, have you eaten anything today?"
"The protein shake Troy made me before he left."
"Do you want anything else?"
"Not right now, maybe in a little bit a sandwich?" Taylor looked impressed and she nodded, "Fair deal," I smiled, "Good,"
"What do you think the kids and Troy are doing right now?" I asked her, "I'm not sure…"
Troy's POV
Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I relaxed in the hotel room as the kids were all running around doing whatever and I just wanted to sleep. I wanted to sleep for hours.
"Dad! Can we go to the pool?" my eyes opened as I looked at Wes, "I'll take him," Liam spoke up quickly as I nodded slowly, "Okay,"
"I'm gonna take Lo and Alli down to the pool as well, is that okay dad?" I eyed my two oldest children, "Call me if you need anything and keep a good eye on them, floaties!" I said, "Dad, we take them swimming in the backyard all of the time, this is nothing new."
"Fine, just be careful okay?" they nodded as they scurried off to change into swimsuits. I got up as my knee popped, a sharp pain slicing up my calf as I shook my head, ever since my knee surgery, my knee popped daily and I got the pain right along with it. I moved to the bedroom as I collapsed on the bed, the signs of me growing old were all there. My knees and back always hurting, my energy level was almost at zero, and some nights I wanted sleep rather than sex.
It was becoming bad. I was becoming old.
I have yet to even hit the big four oh but it was right around the corner, the days were narrowed and as a retired NBA basketball player, it stung. I almost made it to forty in the league, I was two years away but I failed and I was okay with that. I was ready to spend more time with my family and to be there for Gabi more and now with the whole cancer thing, it made it better that I wasn't in the league, I would have quit on the spot because I couldn't be away from her when she needed me the most.
It was hard to be away from her now.
Rubbing my forehead, I wanted to just go lose my mind on the basketball court. I just wanted to be back in that moment, to free my mind up to think but it wasn't even possible anymore. It was so clogged with information.
About chemo, about Gabi's what ifs, the kid's countless questions, the pain she is in, and the amount of things I have to do.
"We will be back in a bit," I turned to see Emma, "Okay, be safe, have fun," she nodded as she left and I rolled onto my stomach, I buried my head into the pillow as my phone rang. I moaned as I reached for it. I pressed answer as I held it to my ear. "Hello?"
"Hi, I was just checking in," her sweet voice filled my ear, "How are you feeling?" I asked, "It's not about me,"
"Brie, come on,"
"Sevenish but I have had plenty of visitors to take my mind off everything."
"Good, and we are all good. The kids all went down to the pool and I'm laying in bed trying to find motivation to move."
She laughed, "Okay, I'm just making sure everybody is still breathing,"
"Good on my end," I muttered, "Good on mine too, I love you, miss you,"
"I miss you too,"
"I'm gonna go, get some rest Troy,"
"You too and hey,"
"Yea?"
"I love you,"
"I love you too, I'll talk to you later,"
"Bye,"
I sighed as I laid my phone next to me; I then pressed my face into the pillow as I fell asleep faster than I should have.
Liam's POV
"Do you think mommy is going to be okay?" my eyes looked at Allison's wide ones. "What are you talking about?" I asked with an annoyed glance, Emma shoved me as I tossed my hands up.
"Mommy has boo boos and daddy said she is sick,"
My jaw tightened, "Everything is fine Alli, mom will be fine,"
"But I told a girl at school and she said her grandma died of it!" she screeched, my heart thumped in my chest as Emma gave me a concerned look. "Alli, I promise, mom is going to be fine. In a couple of months she is going to be perfectly fine. Now go play okay?" Alli shrugged and ran off as Emma looked at me more. "Em, stop,"
"Do you believe everything you just said?" she asked me softly a few minutes later. "Of course!"
Emma struggled as she watched Wes jump in the pool, a few adults moving off to the side as we both took a seat on the edge of the pool. Our eyes watching over Lauren who was in a thing just wading around, Alli who was in floaties and giggling, plus Wes who was just swimming around like a fish.
"I'm scared." Emma confessed, "I know you are Emma but we have to be strong for mom and the kids,"
"Well, I can't be strong all the time Liam," I pressed my lips together and licked my lower lip, "Nobody can,"
"Then how come I have never seen you even flash a sign of emotion? I had a breakdown at school and here you are telling Alli it's going to be fine!"
"What else am I supposed to tell her? Mom is going to die and Dad is going to fall apart and our lives will be miserable? Is that what you want me to tell that six year old because I will and I will leave you to explain that to Dad." Something inside of me snapped, my whole insides snapped and I pressed my palms to my face.
Emma looked away and she shook her head, "I'm sorry okay? You told Alli the right thing, I'm wrong but seriously, it's the first time I have seen you get worked up."
"Somebody has to keep it all together."
"Dad is doing fine,"
"Dad won't be fine if something happens,"
"What do you mean?" Emma asked I looked at her shocked, "You mean you don't notice the chemistry between them?" Emma nodded, "I mean they are made for each other, they are always made for each other and if something ever happened to mom or dad," I shook my head, "Dad will lose it if mom ever died. Lose it."
"Who is going to be there for us?"
"Why are we even talking about this? Mom is a fighter. Mom is going to be fine in a couple of months like I just said, so how about we both keep a positive attitude about all of this? Mom is going to fight for us. She isn't leaving yet, she has lived through too much to leave now."
Emma finally shut up after that and the only thing I wanted to do was leave. I wanted to go for a run and just run for days, to let my head clear, to let everything die in my brain so I could just think about basketball for hours.
My eyes swept over the three young kids again. My thoughts went back to what Emma said, what if…
I shouldn't even be thinking about what if's and everything, what ifs were pointless.
Splashing the water gently, I shook my head, "Liam!" Lauren's voice caught my attention as she was almost out of her floaties. Shit.
I got rid of my phone and wallet as I jumped into the water, Lauren slipped out as she disappeared underneath of the water. I felt the breath escape me as I searched, "Lo! Lo!" I called for her as I dove underneath the water and she was almost to the bottom. I dove down, my lungs already screaming as I picked her up dragging her up to the top. When we got to the top, she coughed as Emma was freaking out on the side of the pool.
Pulling her up top, she was crying and sobbing as I took that as a fabulous sign. She was breathing.
Troy's POV
The loud pounding on the door stirred me as I rolled onto my back, I got up and I went to answer the hotel door as Wes was giving me a panicked look, "Wes, what's wrong?"
"Lo, pool," he began to wave his hands fast as he couldn't breath as he was trying to talk, I put my hand on his shoulder, "Alright, Wes, take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong."
"Lo fell out of her floaties and Liam dove in to get her, Emma told me to come get you," my heart speed up as I dodged out of the door and I ran to the elevator. I pressed the button probably a hundred times before it finally popped open. Wes was in behind me as I pressed the lobby button; I tried to remain calm, as Gabi would kill me with her bare hands if something happened to Lo.
The doors finally opened and I rushed out, I heard the rush of people heading towards the pool as I pushed through them all as I heard Lo's sobs. A gush of relief washed through me as she was breathing.
I emerged as Emma and Liam were trying to calm her. I pushed through to them, as Emma looked up, "Dad we can explain!" I shook my head as I reached for Lauren. She took into my grasp as I pressed her against my chest. Her sobs entering into my ear, "It's alright Lo, it's alright," I whispered as I pressed my chin into her side. I walked away from the scene as I rubbed her back.
She began to calm down as I rubbed her back, "Do you hurt anywhere?" I asked her, she shook her head as she rubbed her runny nose against my shirt. "No,"
"Did you hit your head?" I asked softly, she shook her head again. "Are you sure?" she nodded and I sucked in a breath as I took a deep breath. "Okay,"
"I wanna stay with you," she whimpered, I held her close and I nodded, "Okay, let's go back up to the room." She was shaking and when I came closer to the pool, my other four were all hanging around a chair, nervously looking towards the area Lo and I disappeared too along with a staff member.
"Dad, I am so so sorry," Liam start to apologize as my head began to pound. "Sir, we are so sorry for the incident," people began to talk as Lo was becoming anxious and I finally threw my hand up, "Enough, please," I looked at all of them, "It was an accident. I understand, accident's happen, I'm going to take her upstairs to the room, you four, be up there in thirty minutes."
I moved past them all as I went up the elevator and into the room, as my next step was to inform Gabi. Gabi needed to be told.
Cursing, I didn't want to disrupt her though. I didn't need her freaking out.
Getting back into the room, I went to put Lo down but she wouldn't let go. "Lo, baby girl, you gotta let go," she shook her head as I sat down on the bed. "Hey, I want to get some warm clothes on you, can we do that?" she nodded as I set her down on the bed and I went to grab a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.
I changed her as I then rested on the bed as she curled next to me. "Momma,"
"We will call her in a bit okay?"
"Okay," I pressed my lips against her temple as she slowly fell asleep after a while. She slowly fell asleep and when I heard the other four appear in the room, I slipped out of the bed quietly and I shut the doors.
"Dad,"
I held up my hand, "Liam, just give me a second,"
I pressed my lips together, "Tell me what the hell happened down there today!" my voice rose as the four kids looked at me. Allison and Wes both shrugged, "Alli and Wes were swimming playing," Liam said, "Emma and I were on the side of the pool, talking, I was watching all three of them. Then Lauren called my name, I looked up and she was squirming out of her floating device, I pulled my phone and wallet out as I got in, she fell out and I went down to grab her. She came up screaming and sobbing."
Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I nodded, "Alright,"
"I'm sorry,"
"I should have been down there, there isn't anything else you could have done to prevent it all." Liam nodded as I rubbed my hand over my face, "What do you guys want to do tonight?"
"Hang out,"
"I think I am going to Chase's house."
"Can I go too?"
Looking at all of them, I knew they all had lives and how much they wanted to go out. "If you can get them to pick you up," they cheered as they ran opposite directions. I shook my head, as I just wanted Gabi next to me.
I wasn't going to make it through this week.
Gabi's POV
"What happened?" I screeched, "Gabs, take a breath,"
"No! You tell me what happened, my daughter doesn't almost drown everyday and let alone be told twenty four hours later?"
"I gave it a nights rest. Brie. It's fine, Liam was paying attention to her and everything was fine."
I scrunched my forehead together, "Obviously everything isn't fine."
"Brie, we are all fine. We went to the zoo today and had fun! I didn't want to stress you and it's fine. I waited to make sure everything was going to be fine."
"And if it wasn't then what?"
"Then I would have called you," his voice soothed quietly, "Troy, there are some things you don't wait to tell me," I dropped the phone as I hung up, to exhausted to continue the conversation.
I slid under the covers and I closed my eyes, I missed them. It was hard to deny but they were all having a blast and that's all I asked for. I only wanted them to get away and have fun because who knew what these next couple of months held.
"Knock knock,"
"You knew," I spat
"He told me so I could come over here and do damage control," Taylor sat on the bed as I didn't move from underneath of the covers. "Damage control? I'm so pissed at him." Taylor game me a soft nudge. "You aren't mad at him."
"I am too Taylor, if that was Matt or Austin you would be flipping bricks if Chad didn't tell you right away."
"I'm also not recovering from surgery Gabs," I shot her a look, "He can not use that as an excuse for not telling me. I am still a mom to all of my five beautiful babies. I don't care if I am in surgery or if I am in chemo or anything, if I am half dead I want to know. There isn't anything."
"I know that's how I would probably feel too but you need a lot of rest and strength. So when Troy didn't tell you right away, it gave him the worry and concern for the next twenty four hours, now that the period of time has passed, we all know Lo is going to be okay, you know and you can let it go and move on. Everything is going to be fine. I know I would have been in the same spot you are but I also know Chad have sent you to do the same exact thing. Troy is right here. He needs you to rest."
I sighed as I felt tears catch in my eyes, "I miss him," Taylor pressed her lips together, "I know you do,"
"And these past couple of weeks have been so hard…on both of us." Taylor scooted next to me as I rested my head on her shoulder. "I can't lay with him like I want to, we can't make out or have sex, we can't hug," my voice fell apart on the last part, Taylor let me cry as she sat with me as a comfort.
Taylor's POV
Watching Gabi fall asleep, I slipped out of the room and I wiped away my own tears. In sixteen years, I have only seen Gabi fall apart a handful of times. She was a strong women, she fell apart a lot during her pregnancy with Liam and Wes but besides that her pregnancies were not that emotional. She fell apart during the time Troy wasn't present for most of the birth of Emma besides the actual birth.
She fell apart when they got into the car accident.
She fell apart when each of her kids went into a surgery or were hurt.
She fell apart when Troy and her got into their longest fight that only lasted two weeks before they both cracked.
Those were the only time that woman in their fell apart. There aren't many other times that it happened and watching her tonight, it hurt. It hurt every time because I knew she was suddenly struggling.
I made sure her liquid meal was made for tomorrow and then I did a couple of the cleaning around the house as I went to check on her again. Seeing her still asleep, I went downstairs as Jenni was entering the room. "How was work?" I asked her, she huffed, "Tiring,"
"I bet, I'm gonna head home unless you need something?" she shook her head, "How is she?"
"Tired, upset, really needing Troy. You heard what happened right?"
"Yea, Troy gave me the information so I knew."
"Yea, she didn't take to it very it well,"
"I wouldn't either but he made sense." I nodded, "I'm gonna head home, I'll see you tomorrow,"
Jenni nodded as I left the Bolton household. I climbed into my car and I drove, I drove around the town and I found myself sitting at East. My eyes taking in the area of where we grew up, where Gabs and I met, where everything began and how bad everything has changed, my phone buzzed as I saw a text from Chad.
When you coming home? Alexa looking for you.
I sighed, mommy duties were calling, and I reversed and headed back to the house. My car pulled into the driveway and I was already exhausted. Jenni had the all night shift as I had been there for several hours already.
Pulling open the door, I searched around, as the house was quiet. The lights were shut off and I couldn't find anybody.
"Chad? Alexa?"
"Mom! Up here!"
I moved up the stairs and Alexa was sitting on her bed, "Yes sweetie?"
"Mom, are you okay?" I looked at Alexa and I nodded, "Perfect," she nodded, I sat down next to her and she asked me what I thought of a few different shoes and necklaces that she wanted to wear for the 8th grade dance.
"They look good. Can we talk about it more tomorrow?"
She nodded as I got up, "Mom?" I turned around as I looked at her, "Yea?"
"Is Aunt Gabi going to be okay? Emma said she isn't doing well right now and you are spending a lot of time over there."
I smiled, "She is going to be fine, her surgery was pretty rough but she is going to be fine."
"She said her mom was gonna have to do chemo,"
"Yea, she will in a couple of weeks." Alexa looked away, "Emma is scared,"
"I bet she is, if you need to talk about it or if you feel if Emma is not okay you can come to me and your dad okay." She nodded, "I know but it's scary. I hope it never happens to you."
"I hope it doesn't happen to me either,"
I kissed her forehead as I left her room, cracking her door as I went to find Chad. Going into the office, he was sitting there looking at the screen. "Hey baby," Chad turned in his chair and he flashed a face of concern.
"Tay, baby, what's wrong?" he got up as I felt sobs rack my shoulders. Chad came over and he pulled me into a hug, his hand pressing against my hair. "Taylor," he whispered, he kissed my temple as I choked on several sobs.
Chad let me cry it out, just like I let Gabi cry it out. "Gabi is okay right?"
I nodded my head, "She is just at that point, tired, broken and needing Troy. She just fell apart in front of me and it was so hard to watch her do that. She isn't supposed to do that, that isn't the Gabi I know."
Chad sighed, "Should I go over there? Does she need somebody?"
"Jenni is there and she was sleeping."
Chad wiped away a couple of tears, "Troy is really worried about her."
"If I told him everything that she told me he would already be home." Chad sighed softly and he kissed my forehead. "Do you want me to stay with you or go check on Gabi?"
I closed my eyes and I pressed my head into his chest. "Go make sure I don't need to call Troy and tell him to get home." Chad nodded, "Come on, you need to go take a bath. Let's go,"
Gabi's POV
The room was dark and I was lonely.
I knew Jenni was sleeping here tonight but I didn't want to wake her up if she was sleeping, I also didn't want to move because right now the pain level wasn't too high. I picked up my phone, as I had not heard from Troy since I hung up on him, totally unlike him.
A small knock came at my door and I looked over to see Chad, "Hey stranger!" I said with a smile, he grinned, "How is my gabster?"
"Tired, sore, in pain, lonely…should I continue my depressing story?"
"Nah, I think I got it," he settled on the bed as he picked up the remote and began to flip through the channels of the TV he turned on. "What are you doing here? I didn't think Troy had you on schedule."
"Taylor said you were in need of a little company."
I turned away as I remember my meltdown. "I'm fine, it was a weak moment,"
"Mhm,"
"Chad,"
"How many of those meals have you really eaten?"
I felt baffled as I looked at him, "What?"
He sent me a look, "Oh come on, and I know Troy will believe you but have you really been eating those? If you aren't hungry then you aren't hungry."
"Chad, I have been eating them."
"Okay."
"Why did you ask me that?"
"I was just wondering,"
"You know Troy would pick up on it,"
"Yea, he would," he gave me a lopsided grin, I shook my head as he sighed. "Taylor wanted me to come over here and make sure she didn't need to call Troy. Now, I can go back home and tell her that you are perfectly fine and you will live through this week or I can go home and tell Taylor that you just need Troy to come home. That this is too tough right now and you just want him here because good lord, we know that Troy would be home." I turned away from him.
"I don't want to ruin the kids vacation. They need that."
"Gabi, those kids will be fine,"
I felt tears get stuck in my throat. "I can't let them come home to this. This was supposed to be my week to just feel sorry for myself and realize what the hell was going on but I found out I need Troy here for that too."
Chad sighed softly, "You really want him to come home don't you?" I bit down on my tongue and I felt tears spill over my cheeks, "The kids are having fun in LA, they are with friends,"
"I'll go out to LA, I'll hang out with the kiddos and have fun with them."
I shook my head, "You can't leave your kids."
"Who says I don't take my kids and Taylor, we can hit up Disney world and it's the best of both worlds."
My stomach sank, "I'm okay, I don't need him. You guys can stay home and Troy can stay there. I will be fine." Chad measured my look and he nodded, "Alright, do you need anything?" I shook my head, "I think I just need some time alone if that's okay."
"Yea, I'll talk to you tomorrow okay?" I nodded as he squeezed my hand gently. "Get some rest."
"Thanks,"
Troy's POV
Watching the kids run around on the beach, the sun setting over the city, the water lapping on the beach. I pushed the only beer I was allowing myself tonight close to my lips. My phone buzzed and when I saw it was Chad, I slid my finger across the button.
"Hey,"
"How is LA dude?"
"Fantastic, the kids are having a blast and it's nice out tonight." Liam and Lo both dove in the sand as there laughter was heard from across the beach. "Dude, I need you to listen," I felt the beer struggle in my stomach, "What's wrong with her?"
"Her health is fine, physically she is fine but mentally…" Chad let it drown on. "She is struggling right now. Really struggling and she claims she doesn't need you, she doesn't want you to come home or ruin the kids vacation but she is struggling."
I closed my eyes as Wes and Emma were talking and laughing, "Chad, what did she say?"
"She was telling me about how this was the week for her to feel sorry about her self and to figure out what the hell was going on but she found out she needs you there. She was close to a break down and she then shook her head and said she didn't want to ruin the kids vacation."
Taking a small breath, I opened my eyes as I looked out. "She is missing you a lot more than she is going to let you now."
"That's different. When I last talked to her she was beyond pissed."
"I think she was fine then but it was after that it all went downhill. Taylor went over to talk her down and Taylor came back saying she was a mess."
"I guess I'll tell the kids we are coming home."
"Troy," Chad paused, "Stay the night with the kids tonight and tomorrow morning, I'll be there and we can switch spots. She really doesn't want to ruin the kid's vacation. She wants you though and I think we can make it the best of both worlds."
I sighed, "Liam and Emma are going to give me hell."
"Yea but you will talk them down pretty well, I can promise you that."
"Chad, thanks,"
"No, if it was Taylor you would be doing the same thing. I think it's all going to be fine but what she needs the most right now is you."
Packing the last of my things, I went out and into Emma and Liam's room. They were sitting up talking as I gave them a small look, "Guys, we need to talk about something."
They both gave me a look as I sighed, "In about two hours, I am boarding a flight home," Liam and Emma gave me a shocked look, "What's wrong with mom?"
"On the cancer side? Nothing. She is fine, everything is completely fine but she is emotionally upset and distraught. She is just having a rough time right now,"
"You are leaving us here?"
"No, Chad and Taylor, plus the kids all just landed about twenty minutes ago. They will be heading over this way and once they arrive, I will be leaving. I know how much you want to be there for your mom but she doesn't even know I am coming really. She wants me too but she doesn't want to ruin your guy's vacation. She will love you more if you stay here and have fun, that's what she wants."
"So nothing is really wrong?"
"Yea, if something was really wrong you would be coming with me. She just needs some help to go through her thoughts and to just be okay. It will be easier with all of you guys here and us there."
Liam and Emma sighed, "Okay, if you say so,"
"Please, let's not let Lo drown again, does that sound like a deal?" they both stifled a laugh, "I think we can handle that,"
"Good,"
Gabi's POV
I stared blankly out the window; my mind wasn't forming thoughts that I could understand. Taylor and Chad weren't around today and Jenni was busy with work. Sharpay popped by for a bit to check on me but that was the extent of my visitors today.
I had a feeling Lucille would be here shortly to make sure I was okay. I didn't need anything.
I did need something but I couldn't admit that.
A sigh tumbled out of my mouth, as I felt confused about how I should be feeling. Everything about me was confused; all of it was confused and hard to read anymore. I chewed on my lower lip as I was in more pain today than I would like to admit, the drugs weren't working today and I was just ready to crawl underneath a blanket and give up for the day.
When I heard the garage door open, I knew Lucille was here to check up on me. I made a mental checklist of everything I needed or wanted. I sat up in bed as my small movement tore through my chest and I closed my eyes trying to regain my lower pain levels.
Hearing the footsteps come up the stairs, they sounded heavier, louder than Lucille's. Jack must have come instead or they both came. I sighed as I pushed the blankets away from my lower half of my body.
"There is my pretty girl," my head looked up as Troy stood in the doorway. I felt my lips part and he dropped his bag, "How are you feeling?" he asked me, he came to sit in front of me, as I couldn't form words. He smiled, "I thought we could use some time together, just us two,"
"So the kids are in LA?" Troy nodded, "They are. Chad called me Brie, he can read you just as well as I can." He brushed a strand of hair away as I then just wanted to bury my body close to his.
Tears formed in my eyes as Troy looked surprised, "Hey, brie, what's wrong?" he asked, I felt the tears catch in my throat as my arms wrapped around his neck. I leaned forward and I pressed my head into his neck. "I needed you." His arm's attentively wrapped around me as he pressed his lips into my temple. "That's why I'm here. You are feeling okay right?" I nodded my head, "I just want you."
He sighed, "I know you do baby girl," he pulled back and I suddenly only wanted to be in his arms. "Hold me,"
"How?" the way he said how was how could I do it to make you comfortable and protected, not how are you kidding me how.
I made him move over to his side of the bed and I gently crawled into the crook of his arm, my head resting on his chest as I pulled his arm around my stomach. A small twig of pain rushed through but subsided after a moment.
"Are you sure you are comfortable?" Troy asked, not yet very relaxed, "I'm fine," I replied, he relaxed a little bit and then he kissed the top of my head. "Good."
Liam's POV
I laughed as Allison tried to catch me; she fell into the sand as we were both laughing. Chad and Taylor were hanging out on the beach with us as Alexa and Emma were talking about whatever and then Matt was chasing Allison while Wes and Austin were hanging out.
Lo was lying with Taylor in the sun as we were all dancing around having fun outside. We were going home tomorrow and all reports from dad are that mom is fantastic. Moving around more and sleeping more. Even eating some.
"Liam," I looked at Uncle Chad as he waved me over. I tossed Matt the football. "Don't let her have it!" he laughed and he took off running. I caught up with Chad as he crossed his arms over his chest. He was still taller than me but not by much.
"I think we need to have a little talk," I gave him a worried glance and he shook his head. "Your mom is fine. I just, I need to make sure you are okay. I know how close you are with your mom and I just need to make sure you are okay."
I turned away, "Uncle Chad, I appreciate it but I'm fine."
"Fine huh?" Chad rose his eyebrows and I sighed, "That one night I was messed up but I am fine now."
"You may act fine but are you really fine? You don't have to be tough with me Liam, I know a lot about you and you are basically my other son. If you want just us to keep this between us then that's fine I just need to make sure your head is straight."
I sighed, "Uncle Chad, I'm fine."
He measured my face, "If you say so but if anything is ever on your mind and you need to talk, you know where to find me. If you want to play a thing of hoops, let me know, we can make it work and you can talk to me when you want, alright?"
"Fair deal," he slapped my shoulder, "Come on, those little kids are looking to beat you up."
I laughed as I joyed the two six year olds as they pounced all over me as they tried to tackle me down. I laughed as a big wave washed up soaking all of us. I then picked up Allison with one arm and Matt with the other as I swung them around. They both laughed as I laughed with them.
"Liam!" she screeched, I laughed as I slowly lowered both of them to the ground. Sand was caught in their wet hair and all over their clothes. They were a giggle mess as somebody jumped onto my back.
"Mhp!" I fell to the ground dodging the two little kids and I rolled over laughing as I stared up at Alexa. "What are you doing?" I asked her with a laugh, "I don't know, sitting on top of you."
I looked against her dark brown eyes and I swallowed, "Yea, I have sand going down my pants and I would love to get up right now." She laughed and nodded as we both got up, helping each other up.
"Kids, wanna get changed and head to do some go carts,"
"Yes!"
Gabi's POV
"What's going on in that pretty head of yours?" Troy's voice interrupted my chewing of pancakes. "Huh?"
"You have been awful quiet. I know we have hashed out a lot more lately since I have been home and I am glad at the progress you are making but I know there is still something way back there in your mind." I sighed, "And why do I have to tell you right now?"
"Because our kids will be home tonight and I feel like it needs to be said before they come home." I sighed softly, "Can we go to the park or something? I would love some fresh air."
Troy hesitated but nodded, "Do you want to change?" I looked down at my baggy t-shirt with the shorts. "Uhm…I'm not to wanting of a bra right now. So I guess we can just stay home."
Troy gave me a soft look, "How about a drive?" I sighed, "Sit outside?" I suggested, Troy nodded, "Alright, come on," we walked down downstairs and out the door; the pool was open and shining with blue water. Troy and I found a spot on the swing as he smoothed his fingers over mine.
"What's what Brie,"
"Troy, you are going to have to promise me something." Troy gave me a concerned look, I blinked tears away from my eyes, and "You really need to listen to me because I will only get this out of my voice once and this is what I really need you to do."
"Brie, you are scaring me."
"Troy, if anything happens and we can't cure the cancer and if I die…" Troy looked at me with alarm, "I need you to be there for the kids. I need you to live and be a perfect dad to those kids, they are going to need you more than ever if that happens,"
"Good thing that won't happen," I felt a tear fall off my cheek, "Troy, I need you to be serious. I know that it's nothing we want to talk about but you have to live for them. You have to be the dad they are going to need." Troy shook his head, "Brie, come on, this is non-sense," he got up as I felt helpless in a puddle of tears.
"Troy, this," I took a big breath, "this is real life. I know that you don't want to think about it but there is a high chance that this doesn't go right and I need you to be okay. I need you to not fall off the deep end, I need you to watch my babies grow up and be there." Troy turned away from my as I watched his back muscles contract with every breath. His hands on the back of his head, "I don't know Brie, I can't talk about this," he muttered.
"Troy," I reached for his hand, "I'm going to fight this till the very end but I need you to know, I want you to be okay if anything happens. I need you to be okay if anything happens because of our five beautiful kids. This is already hard and I know how scary all of this is going but I need you to be clear on my level."
Troy brushed his thumb over my cheeks and he kissed my forehead. "You are my life Brie,"
"Those kids are my life Troy, I need you be there for them." He sighed and he kept his hands on my cheeks. "Alright."
I felt a breath exhale, "Thank you," I cried, "Thank you," he nodded as he turned around and hugged my around the neck, pulling me back into him. He kissed my head as he held my shaking shoulders.
Troy's POV
The door burst open as Liam and Emma made way up the stairs. The other three close behind as they were all in search for their mom. "She is taking a shower." I announced they all bombarded me with a hug.
"We have been separated for three days," I said as they squeezed me, they all laughed as Chad and Taylor came slowly up the stairs. They looked like they had a three quick day vacation.
Lauren was in Taylor's arms as she reached from me. She looked tired, as I knew this was the first person Gabi wanted to see. "Hey there pretty girl," her hair was in a messy ponytail as the kids dispersed through the house. "How is she?" Taylor asked, "Better." I remarked, "She was in the mood to take a shower and on Monday we go in for another appointment. Hopefully things will return to normal for a while before we start Chemo."
"Is the pain level high?"
"It got better over the past few days."
"Good," Lauren rubbed her eyes as I kissed her forehead. "Thank you guys so much for everything you did. It was really uncalled for."
"Gabs needed you and sounds like she finally got some peace in her mind." I nodded, "We are going to take our kids home, see you later alright?" I nodded as I waved and shut the garage as they left.
When Gabi made an appearance, she was bombarded with kids but they all stopped at the flinch of her movement. "Mom," was heard and yelled, Lauren looked over but she didn't show much excitement. My stomach twisted with nerves as it was unlike Lo.
I kissed her forehead as she felt a little warm to me but nothing much.
The kids all tried to talk to her at the same time and they gave her awkward hugs as she laughed, "One at a time, where is my Lo baby?" she looked up at me and I nudged her gently. Gabi came over as Lo smiled, "Cuddles," Lo whined, "Yea, we will cuddle later okay?" she nodded, "I'm gonna take her upstairs."
"Okay," I kissed the top of her head, "I'll be upstairs if you need me okay?"
"Alright, I'm gonna listen to all of the LA fun maybe it will get rid of those lonely blues I had," I smiled, "I bet it will. If you need anything have one of the kids come get me okay?"
"Will do master," I chuckled as she was slowly returning to normal Brie for a bit. That's all I could ask for right now.
Aw, don't we all wish we had a Troy? I know I do! Haha, I love you guys! And thanks for being patient!
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