Chapter Seventeen: Giving Up and Giving In; What's Up With Kai?

After a few days I was up and ready for action. Black*Star and I were getting back in the hang of resonating, though our connection wasn't as strong as it had been. There was so much stress, confusion, and frustration tied in with our feelings for each other that I could barely adapt myself. As it was he was still complaining of my being awkwardly heavy at time. Each time I would joke it off and try to divert the conversation, as it had suddenly become my job to ease the dark cloud that had fallen over the group. Maka, it seemed, had been the true leader and inspiration for Team Maka. Soul barely even spoke, didn't eat or drink unless Kid forced him to. It killed me, seeing my inspiration for wanting to become stronger so far gone.

The rational part of my brain knew that the true reason they were all so depressed is because of the wavelength that was thick around the town I had once called home. I could feel it like an oily second skin, constantly attempting to grasp my energy. The kishin had left more than scarred homes and memories here. It had left such a large portion of its madness that it felt as if it were still here. Kid often remarked about how powerful it must have been to have left such a powerful residue on the island, but I did my best to change the subject and ignore his searching gaze. So far he had only become more curious about my involvement in the destruction of Ester.

I, on the other hand, was becoming increasingly susceptible to the aura in a completely different way. To the untrained eye I could simply be reforming myself: I was acting more cheerful, more energetic, and a little more hectic. I knew better. At night, while the others slept, I would lie awake and feel my muscles spasm as the black blood raced through my veins, soaking into my muscles and changing them. Quickly my stock of pills was depleting and I knew the sooner I got Team Maka and myself off of this island, the better. It made me ache to think about what could happen if I was allowed to give into the madness.

If it fully consumed me, I could say goodbye. To everything.

Black*Star, one afternoon while we were out foraging for any non-perishables that we could bring back to consume, commented on my change in attitude.

"I like this thing you've got going on!" He cheered as I did a backflip off of a porch, completing a backwards handspring on impact and sticking the landing. It felt good to flex and twist myself.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I winked, strutting towards the next house.

It had been about a week since we had gotten to Ester and we had all certainly looked better. Dirt seemed to cover all of us like a second pair of clothes, to the point that it was almost humorous. Kid's OCD spells were getting worse and worse and, eventually, it came to the point that we nearly had to knock him unconscious when they hit. Death's son was the only other one that was aware of our sensitive situation and I had half a mind to share my limited ration of anti-madness pills with him just to help him keep his head.

Climbing up the steps, I was wary of what my muscles were doing. Small spasms like sparks were dancing up my legs in a disconcerting way that almost sent me tumbling to my knees.

"Yahoo!" Black*Star shouted as he shot past me, stealing the limelight effectively as he juggled an entire armload of cans. Brie and Liz rushed over, the two having been nearly surgically attached since our story session. Soul ghosted behind them at a slight distance, his color returned slightly and his eyes holding a slight bit of light. I had no idea what was going on between he and Brie but the two had become nearly as close as any meister/weapon pair I had ever met yet they were both weapons. Maka would have been happy to see them getting on so well.

"Show off!" I grumbled, to which Black*Star replied with a smirk.

Again with the little heart flutters, I wondered if I was ever going to get over my infatuation with my meister.

"Hey, Kai, can I speak with you for a moment?"

Turning, I saw Kid standing on the porch. After seeing the look on his face I wordlessly handed my haul to Liz and followed the young death god back towards the main part of town. A bit of nervousness entered my stomach as we walked away and I cast one glance back towards the house. Liz, Brie, and Soul all were lugging the food back into the house while Black*Star stared after me. I gave him a reassuring wave and turned away, unsure of what my fate was.

It was at least five minutes before Kid stopped, content with the distance we had traveled. For a brief moment he was still, his back turned to me, before he turned himself towards me. His golden eyes considered me coolly for a second, narrowed in a way that alerted me to his suspicion. This wasn't just a friendly chat, I realized. Kid had finally worked up enough curiosity and distrust to finish my questioning.

"Kai, what exactly happened here?" I gulped nervously as he continued, "The entire town has been destroyed except for the house you claim as your own. You keep saying that a kishin attacked, but how did you escape its wrath? It must have been one of the townspeople, so why didn't it come after you as well?"

Desperately I searched for an answer. "Kid, I really don't think this is the best time to be explaining." I trailed off, hoping that was enough to appease the curious Shinigami, but my hopes were dashed when he shook his head.

"I would have hoped you would trust me enough me now, Kai." He said it rather wearily.

Guilt clouded my thoughts as I struggled with myself. I truly did want to confide in him as I felt that we had been through enough, considering we were fugitives from a psycho bitch witch, but at the same time an innate fear of rejection kept me from saying anything. What if he hated me after I told him? After all, though I hadn't outright lied to anyone about anything, it was still suspicious.

"It's not that I don't trust you," I groaned, my confliction evident in my voice. "It's just something that might change your view of me and I don't want to lose any of you."

There. I had said it. My face flushed as my mind locked on one in particular. Kid raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly as he saw my expression. "Black*Star?"

I snorted, suddenly finding supreme interest in a building next to us. It had used to be the only store in town but now it was just a skeleton. "What about him?"

"Ignoring your feelings isn't going to make it any easier. He might feel the same way if you just say something."

My eyes widened as I realized I was getting relationship advice from the son of the god of death. "Alright! Enough about my love life!"

He snickered, "Your lack of one?"

"Gods, you're almost as annoying as he is!" I gasped, exasperated as I sat on a nearby park bench.

"That's insulting," Kid loped after me, settling beside me with a sniff of disgust at the crumbling wood. "Can we get back to the point here?"

Body tensed again, I frowned at the cracked concrete. "You're not going to give up, are you?

"No."

My heart began beating faster in my chest as I closed my eyes and came to terms with my fate. If Death the Kid deemed me unfit to be a companion after I told him this story then there was nothing I could do to stop him from killing me. It was almost relaxing, realizing that my destiny was out of my control for once.

"Alright, but you have to promise me something, Kid," Nervously I tugged at my fingers, popping my knuckles one by one. When Kid's eyebrow twitched along with his slight nod, I stopped. "Promise me that you won't tell the others. I will when I'm ready, but I need time."

"Does Black*Star know any of it?"

Biting my lip I shook my head. My gaze penetrated our surroundings, looking through the desolate skeleton of a town and into the green countryside. When would I have told my meister any of what I was about to share with Lord Death's son? Over pizza? Somehow it didn't seem fitting, to just up and tell him like that.

Kid made an annoyed noise and I knew that if I didn't started with my tale soon he would be too far in the grips of an OCD attack to even know my name. While that did sound like an easy escape I figured that he would only get more insistent the longer it took for me to tell him.

"Well…" Taking a deep breath, I struggled to find a place to begin. "I guess it all started when I was about six…"

Black*Star was pacing around the house, anxious for his weapon to return. Ever since she had been able to begin moving around again they had been back to training, though they been making do with trees since Snow and Tsubaki weren't anywhere to be found and there weren't any other meister/weapon pairs that were function.

Besides that, though, Black*Star just didn't feel comfortable with his weapon to far away from him. After seeing the chaos that happened in the ballroom - the weapons being enveloped by the smoke, the unnatural way they dropped to the ground, lifeless in their weapon forms – her being farther than an arm's reach made him restless. Without her near him, he felt almost as bad as Soul looked.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, Kai and Kid returned. Black*Star's rival looked deeply troubled and simply brushed past him, completely silent. Usually the bluenette might have confronted his companion but his focus was instead on the redhead that was slowly making her way up the stairs. Her head was bowed and she wasn't meeting his eyes.

"Kai, you're late for training!" Black*Star meant it to come out a lot more enthusiastic than it had, but instead it let on his confusion.

He could just barely hear the puff of air that was her sigh: "Sorry, Kid and I had a lot to talk about."

Nodding the assassin glanced the way Kid had gone. "He seemed a little grumpy."

"He has right to be," Kai replied, staring off into the hills. Now Black*Star started to feel a bit of worry begin to eat at his chest. It was silent for a moment as the assassin tried to understand what was going on. It was moments like these when he really wished girl were less confusing. He wasn't that smart anyways and they just had to go and make it worse by not just saying what they meant. Scratching the back of his head for a moment, he tried to figure out what Tsubaki would want him to do in this situation. She always had good ideas! But before he could figure out what his previous weapon would have advised, Kai's grey eyes locked on his. The determination and – though Black*Star wasn't someone who was super good at reading emotions – pain that was in her eyes completely floored him.

"I have something to tell you."

This was the condition Kid had forced me to agree to after I had told him my story: tell Black*Star. After all, a few moments of thought revealed that my… condition could affect my partner. It almost sounded like I had some sort of STD or something but, well, it was more of a RTD – resonance transmitted disease. Soul and Maka apparently knew all about that.

As I stood on the bottom step of that porch I gathered every ounce of courage in my body and opened my mouth to spill my biggest secret, Black*Star's eyes grew wide and angry. It was, of course, at this moment that the forces of evil decided to crash our party. They brought along with them the friggin' largest thunderstorm on the island since the day I was scooped up by the DWMA, and, unfortunately for us, they didn't bring cookies. I probably would have considered joining them in that moment if they had.

Or not.

"Dammit," I cursed, glaring at the two forms that were leaping off of a broomstick. "Can't a girl get a bit of privacy? I'm really getting sick and tired of you bastards barging in all the time! And you, Warren, never picked your boxers up off of the bathroom floor."

My previous meister raised an eyebrow at that but it did nothing to relieve the tension of the situation. It was friggin' raining on my head and we had just been found by the lackeys of the Bwitch. I figured it was time for a little swing, swing, swing, chop, chop, chop – if you know what I mean. Plus, hell, it got me out of explaining my past so I was all for a little distraction.

"Do I really want to know what my boxers have to do with the fact that I was sent here to kill you, Kai?" He asked, reaching for a sword that was in a scabbard at his hip. I frowned, trying to figure out why he didn't just have a weapon along with him. He knew that the metal from human weapons was stronger than any other, so why even try? Instinctually I grabbed for Black*Star's hand. Our resonance grew immediately, sturdier than it had been since before the ball, and it was then that I knew we were going to win this fight – or else.

"Kai's out right now, but I can take a message," Black*Star smirked, his voice halfway between that of an excited child and a growling dog. "But first, I'm going to kill you!"

With that shout my meister flicked his wrist and shot towards Warren. I couldn't help but notice that the other person with him stayed back and was hiding their face, but I soon discarded it in the shock of the next moment. Black*Star whipped me towards Warren in a move that would have shattered any normal weapon on impact and completely severed his head, except it didn't. For a moment I wondered if my mind was playing tricks on me before I realized that, no, Warren's sword really had stopped me in my tracks and, no, it wasn't dented at all. I gasped, too shocked to care that the impact had actually almost hurt, and shouted a warning to Black*Star.

"I don't know what's going on, but be careful!"

"Aren't I always careful?" he growled back. Still he leapt away, landing in a crouch. His soul probed mine and I reacted accordingly. My form melted and changed in that of a longbow. Black*Star only ever preferred this type of weapon when he either didn't want to be bothered fighting or wanted to weaken his opponent before engaging (usually by my suggestion). It unnerved me to think that he would need to use it here.

"Like it?" Warren asked, taking a step back on the dirt road and admiring his sword. "It's still weird, fighting with something other than a claymore, but I'm finding I like the thinner blades more. Of course, I would have preferred a katana, but that idiot took yours from me."

"Tsubaki?" Black*Star muttered, confused.

My mind was whirring, trying to figure out what picture the puzzle was showing. There were still too many pieces missing and there wasn't enough time! I heard footsteps and sensed the rest of our team here. Soul and Brie stood side by side, Liz and Nikolai flanking Kid like bodyguards. Snow and the silent sword that was our friend Tsubaki appeared as if from nowhere, lighting upon the roof like two shadows. That made two pairs that could fight.

Just then Soul and Brie shared a look. Silently she outstretched her hand and he took it. In a flash she was standing there, wearing the recently ocean-washed prom-type dress and an extra pair of combat boots, holding a scythe and looking like a complete and total badass. Brie swung Soul around like she'd been doing it her whole life and I wondered what exactly it was about this French meister that made her seem so adorable while she looked so deadly. I decided to figure it out later.

"You're outnumbered," Black*Star smirked, "Not to mention you're fighting against the great Black*Star! I understand if you want to run away now."

Warren, the prick, just stared at my meister for a moment before returning with a sneer of his own. "How well do you fight without a weapon, Black*Star?"

The bluenette holding me scoffed and got ready to fire an arrow of his soul wavelength, lining up the sights and pulling back the string. "Not that beating you senseless with my bare hands doesn't sound like fun, but I'd rather trust my weapon to help me get the job done."

Warren hummed, nodding his head slightly, pushing the tip of his sword into the now muddy ground and leaning on the hilt. When we had been paired he had always had a nasty habit of this and I winced involuntarily for the poor weapon.

That's when it hit me.

"Black*Star," I warned, speaking aloud so he couldn't ignore me, "That weapon in his hand. I think it used to be a weapon weapon!"

"Ding ding ding!" Warren had the balls to laugh, "She wins a prize! I was wondering when you would figure it out, Kai. I knew that he wouldn't," he gestured towards Black*Star, "because he's too idiotic but you? You always liked riddles."

"You bastard!" I shouted, my string trembling in rage. "How? How could you do this?"

"How? Lady Calypso's smoke that covered the ballroom. It took away the weapon's human form and, soon, it will take away their life as well. We're only keep a few of them alive for scientific purposes."

A slight tremor in Black*Star's hand made me pause and assess my meister. Something was troubling him, and both he and I realized what it was at the same moment "Tsubaki?"

We whirled to see Snow. The white-haired meister was blank with shock, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide as he stared down at the weapon in his hands. A sick feeling overtook me as I realized that we may have already lost Tsubaki to whatever curse Calypso had cast on her. To think, all this time we had wasted on healing up and getting better and she was silently suffering.

Why had she been silent?

"What could you possibly gain from all of this?" Kid shouted suddenly, stepping forward. His fists were balled in anger, his golden eyes flashing. The Shinigami looked fearsome then: his black and white hair plastered to his face from the rain, his usually tidy jacket ripped and roughed up from our days in Ester. I would have hated to be whoever was at the receiving end of that wrath.

"Lady Calypso could explain it better, but…" Warren grinned menacingly, "I guess I could tell you."

"Get on with it then, or Soul and I will just knock your head off!" Brie snarled.

Warren rolled his eyes, "Lady Calypso wants to get rid of the DWMA, and what better way than to get rid of all the weapons? They were made by Arachne to assist witches in the first place, but Lord Death stole them." His face was filled with disgust. "Really, if you think about it, we're just claiming what is rightfully ours! With the weapons unable to transform or talk back we can easily get rid of all the meisters. Those than we can't defeat… well, Lady Calypso really does like experimenting."

"What's all this 'us' and 'ours' shit?" Black*Star shouted, "You're a meister!"

The evil boy's eyes grew darker then, as if a cloud had passed over the sun. "My mother was a witch, you useless weakling. My wavelength was saturated with her magic and it pained anyone to resonate with me. I got shit from all the other meisters until, one day, I finally met a weapon I was able to resonate with without hurting them."

"Me?" I wondered aloud.

"Yes, you." Warren said. His tone got softer and he almost looked sad as he stared at my bow-shaped form. "Fortunately for me, taking away the weapon's human side gets rid of resonance issues. I can use any weapon I want, including this nice little pistol!"

Warren reached around and, with his free hand, pulled a pistol from a holster that I hadn't noticed on his hip. Liz shouted immediately, narrowly held back by Nikolai. Kid's face had turned completely white as he stared at the metal object in my ex-meister's hand.

"Patty!"

"That's it, Black*Star." I hissed through our resonance, "We're killing him."

With a speed I hadn't known he could achieve, Black*Star leapt forward while I changed rapidly. A Scottish claymore sped through Warren's defenses before, suddenly, he wasn't there. We went tumbling into the mud and I flew from Black*Star's grasp. Before I hit the ground I reverted to my human form and tucked, rolling to my feet and searching for my meister.

I growled as I found Warren with his foot on Black*Star's head, smothering him in the mud. With a primal scream I launched myself at him, narrowly avoiding a half-hearted swipe from his sword and, assassin-style, morphing a dagger from my wrist and stabbing him in the stomach. A look of shock crossed his face before he shoved away from me, stumbling backwards and swinging with his sword. I lacked caution and the sword caught me on the right side of my face from my jawbone to my eyebrow. Clenching my eye shut, blocking out the pain, I went for him again only to slip in the mud and tumble on top of my meister.

Black*Star groaned beneath me and I quickly moved to roll him over. His face was bloody and one of his eyes was already swelling. As much as I wanted him to get back up so that we could fight I knew that doing so might leave one – or both – of us dead. Instead I just crouched over him defensively, glaring with my one good eye at the first human I had learned to trust. Warren was pressing a hand to his stomach, expression still full of shock.

"Hey, you dropped this!"

Kid stood in the mud, Captain OCD himself up to his knees in the stuff, holding two identical pistols. He held them upside down with his pinkies on the triggers and I thought he looked like a friggin' badass that way. Of course, after our conversation earlier, I figured now was really the wrong time to tell him.

Black*Star began to stir beneath me just as Warren beginning to turn the pain from his wound into unadulterated anger. "Why are you defending her? She's just as bad as I am!" He was pointing a bloody finger at me, waving it madly as he retreated towards the still form that was standing next to the broomstick they'd descended from. "Don't you know, son of death? Don't you know what she is?"

I was too shocked to even move. I had never told Warren my secret, never even hinted at it. How could he have possibly figured it out on his own? My madness pills were prescribed for dealing with immense, graphic trauma. I had kept nothing of my past that could have let him on.

"I know what she is!" Kid shouted.

At the same time Brie yelled, "What the hell is he talking about?"

"Nothing! No one! He's just trying to get in our heads! Ignore him and let's finish this!" Kid screeched, trying to be heard over the pounding rain and the booming thunder. Suddenly the futility of the moment struck me. Warren was going to use the information no matter what. It was his trump card. His winning play. There was nothing I could do except…

"Me!" I screamed to the sky, getting to my feet and backing away from the group. "He's talking about me!"

"What the hell?" I saw Black*Star attempting to get on his feet, attempt to reach for me, but I was too far gone.

"Tell them what you are, Kai!" Warren taunted, the rain mixing with his falling blood and painting his fingers pink.

Now that I had everyone's attention, I faltered. I stuttered. I couldn't get the words out. Fear clogged my throat as I stared into the scared and suspicion eyes of my friends. Kid looked desperate, wild. Black*Star, my Black*Star, was struggling on his hands and knees, trying to get upright. Brie looked like a deer caught in the headlights of reality.

"Maybe this will help you tell them?"

I looked at Warren in confusion as he stumbled towards the hooded figure and, to my surprise, yanked their hood off. My blood chilled there and I swore every droplet of rain that touched my skin turned to ice.

Staring right back at me was my childhood friend, first love, and kishin.

"Kaden?" I asked, eyes widening.

Kaden didn't say anything, just stared at me with a hollow gaze. One of his eyes had a slitted pupil, the other slitted horizontally. His fingers were jointed daggers, his hair was metal with blood-painted tips. All of my nightmares and horrors came true as he opened his mouth, revealing jagged sets of fangs. The next three words he said sent my madness spinning wildly out of control.

"Bear the burden."

Suddenly everything was too much. The memories, the madness, the stress. Kaden began glowing an unnatural, unearthly red as the curse we had been forced to bear ran its course. The kishin egg of his soul began shedding its texture and red color to reveal a small, blue one. The shiny, metallic attributes began to fade away and evaporate into a mist that hovered above his head.

While this transformation was occurring, Kaden began to decay. His body, only kept alive by the curse and the kishin that had been trapped inside it, simply gave out. It slid out of Warren's hands, limp and already turning to dust as the little blue soul just rose and fell gently, flickering like a little flame. The red fog that had evaporated from him slowly went to its rightful owner:

Me.

"Black*Star, I'm so sorry," I said, shutting my eyes I was enveloped in the blood-scented mist. "I'm the kishin!

(Author's Note: Weeell... so, I wasn't going to post this so soon after I posted the last chapter but... I wrote it and I REALLY wanted to share because I've been keeping this secret for a while... plus, my last update took about a zillion years soo.. I guess I owed you guys! I hope you liked it, little ducks! Review! Favorite! Follow! Not necessarily in that order!)