Chapter Eighteen: Memories, Part One; Will the Past Explain Itself?

"I'm the kishin!"

I always was.

The madness took ahold of me, swirling in my mind as the black blood finally won its dominance over my veins. Shuddering, my body took in the mist. Pain darkened my senses. As I screamed I could almost hear another voice calling my name. Black*Star. I wanted to reach for him but my body had been lost as I was taken into the embrace of insanity. My knees hit the ground and my shoulder met the earth soon after. Images flashed before me, images of my childhood, and I was suddenly thrown back in time…

I was twelve today.

The dark threatened to swallow me whole as my tear-stained face turned up towards the quickly shutting cellar doors. My father's drunken eyes sneered down at me before the wood clamored closed, the latch sliding into the place. Uneven footsteps trekked away from my prison. The scream that built in my throat was quickly swallowed along with the bile. God, how I hated the dark. I closed my young eyes against it, cursing the devil for giving me this demon's ability. In a roundabout, I blamed my dead mother for my misfortune. It had to be because of her sins that I was the way I was! Why else would I turn into a God-forsaken weapon whenever a hellish anger took hold of me (which was quite frequently)?

I sobbed silently, praying fervently that it would all be taken away. Was it really a big deal to ask that I be granted mercy? Were my mother's evil actions so vile that I would be punished for them?

It had started six years prior when another young villager had stolen one of my dolls. My father says that a hellish red light enveloped me and, suddenly, I was no longer standing there. In my place had been a smaller-than-average claymore that glistened as it clattered against the stones embedded in the dirt. This had not only been the first appearance of my curse but also my first memory. The screams of those around me, accusing me of witchcraft and demonic activities, had stayed in my mind forever.

As soon as the sobbing started, it stopped and was replaced by giggles. Another thing that had occurred over the years of my life was the dark strain of insanity that seemed to be steadily growing stronger. After a few moments the darkness no longer seemed frightening, only a mild bother – nearly humorous! A little while, after I had gotten used to it, I could see better in the dark than in the light. It was then that I had begun digging a tunnel out, hiding it behind one of the massive shelves that stored our perishable vegetables during the winter. The digging was difficult but having the task seemed to calm my nerves.

My twelfth birthday was the first time this tunnel was actually usable, however, and I was actually looking forward to my first taste of freedom. Kaden, a village boy who had issues of his own, had been meeting me in the woods in my free time lately and I had arranged a rendezvous with him that afternoon. Though he was four years my senior, Kaden didn't seem to mind that I was a little strange or violent. We ran through the hills, playing childish games to sate my playful nature and – if he wanted – we would sometimes embrace like the other girls and boys did when they were in love. What little feelings that existed within my heart had developed into something beyond adoration.

Crawling on my hands and knees, giggling slightly as I realized my teeth had grown sharper since I last checked. Kaden always liked it when my teeth were a little sharper, he said, because I reminded him of some sort of adorable-looking baby puma about to pounce on him. I allowed myself to drift within my Kaden-induced floating until I had escaped the dirt tunnel and was brushing my tattered jeans off, already writing off my half-shirt as a lost cause. A while ago Father had been especially brutal and I had gone down into the cellar with a badly bleeding arm so I had torn up the lower half of my shirt to wrap it in. The sleeves were gone as well, simply worn away, but I had yet to be able to find a replacement.

Chuckling at the memory of the sticky red substance that had oozed from my arm, I skipped into the woods in search of my best friend. As I went I sung a little tune that I had heard somewhere, though I didn't remember where. This happened often, my remembering strange poems and facts that caught even me by surprise.

"The first Alice was a wrathful woman of the spade, and righteously she a sharpened blade within her hand!" My voice rose and fell, a frighteningly wide and maddened sneer covering my face without
my knowledge. I was truly lost within my own mind. "Never hesitating to slay all within her way, creating paths of blood that followed her through Wonderland!" With a demented grin I flashed my arm into a blade, chopping through a thick tree trunk with a simple flick of my wrist.

I hoped Kaden would bring me one of those tasty blue treats again today. They were like nothing I had ever tasted before, not that I got out much anyways. Still, they slid down my throat so smoothly and filled my belly. Whenever I ate them I felt like my energy spiked and I felt like I could go one forever!

Humming, I didn't notice Kaden's presence until he put his arms around my shoulders. I snarled before I caught wind of his distinctive scent. Turning, I relaxed into him and nuzzled my nose into his collarbone. Enjoying the closeness and intimacy of the moment, I was irritated when he drew away from me. The feeling soon vanished when I saw the glowing treat he had gripped in his hand. My fingers snatched for it, reaching to claim my prize. Suddenly the craving was nearly overwhelming: I had to have it! In a flash I had him pinned to the ground, my knees pressed down on his biceps while I wriggled so his hand was within reach, but his arms were too long.

Grumbling, I sat back, straddling his chest and crossing my arms over my chest while I pouted. "Tease!"

"It's nice to see you too, Kai," he taunted, his brown eyes flashing as he used his superior strength to flip us over. With our situation reversed the aura went from flirtatious to serious as we played Kaden's game. At first I hadn't enjoyed this whole kissing thing but it had grown on me as we went on. I won't go into details, but Kaden did some fantastically tingly things to my mouth.

After Kaden took a moment to breathe – surprisingly, I didn't feel at all winded – I whined for the treat again. Again my companion smirked before descending on my lips, greedily taking them. My eyes stayed open, brows furrowed with growing agitation as I watched that delectable treat dangle above my forward. It was close enough to reach out and grab but, unfortunately, my hands were somewhat occupied at the moment.

"Kaden," I growled insistently into his mouth, interrupting him.

With a begrudging sigh he got to his feet, pulling me up with him. "Alright, you greedy little bastard!" He smirked, holding the blue orb in front of my face, "Eat up. I have a surprise for you afterwards!"

"I love surprises!" I all but screeched, carefully holding the sphere in my hands before tipping my head back and sliding it down my throat. A shudder ran through me as it hit my stomach, shocking me and making me yelp in surprise at the pain. My need for more had only increased by getting what I wanted and I was on the cusp of total madness, knowing only that I wanted it. Kaden took my hand, leading me farther away from where I had come, closer to the village. It took only a few moments before we were at the edge of town.

Kaden turned to me, his brown hair falling over his eyes mysteriously. He put a finger to his lips and we snuck through alleys and behind houses, hiding from the townspeople. I looked on with disgust. They all seemed so happy with their lives: smiling and laughing with each other like there was no such thing as evil. I wanted to rip their throats out and see if they'd keep smiling then. The images this induced made me giggle a little bit. The boy leading me turned, a frightened look on his face before he saw me smile at him giddily.

If I squinted, I could almost pretend that I hadn't seen that look, but I had. In that instance it occurred to me that something was off. The way Kaden had distanced himself from me as soon as we had arrived in town was completely unlike him. In fact, us going into town at all was strange. As I began thinking, Kaden came up to the back door of a withering shack and knocked lightly a few times, looking around anxiously as if the thought of anyone seeing him us was worrisome. A pit started in the bottom of my stomach.

The door opened soon to reveal a beautiful woman who, upon seeing me with Kaden, at once pulled us inside the house. The smile on her face was wide and edgy like I believed mine often were during the times I wasn't around my father. She and Kaden moved farther ahead towards a door, weaving through the piles of books and assorted instruments that were lying around the cluttered room, but I paused to inspect things. Though the chaotic room would have made most people extremely uncomfortable I found it relaxing and somewhat tranquilizing.

That is, until I saw the jar of blue treats.

I could barely contain myself when my eyes lit upon them. The urge to simply take them and go was intensifying as I stood and, suddenly, I was right in front of them with my hand on the lid of the jar. A lowing keening noise rose from my throat as I struggled to get the lid off. Tears filled my eyes as, in desperation, I threw the glass jar to the ground. Though the glass shattered, slicing into the vulnerable skin of my legs, the blue treats just continued their slow hovering movements as I chased after them.

A pair of arms wrapped around my torso, trapping my reaching hands against me. Kaden hauled me into the next room and roughly threw me in a chair. My mounting sense of anxiety rose again when leather restraints were latched around my wrists, ankles, and throat. "Kaden?" I whimpered, imploring my lover to release me, but all I got was a simple glance before he turned back to that woman. Upon closer inspection I hated her. There was an obvious aura of power that surrounded her and made me want to take her heart out of her chest… wait.

I froze, my logical mind finally catching up with my insanity as I slowly struggled to retain my reality. Ripping people's throats out was violent, as was stealing their heart (physically at least). Senseless and bloody violence was one of the many sins my mother was to have had dabbled in to have gotten me curse and, as I realized this, I whimpered in fear at what I had become. Soon the insanity beat back my thoughts but they were still there, lurking and leaving me with a sense of ominous doom.

"One more, Lady Medusa. That's all it'll take! Then I'll be your favorite son, right?" Kaden's voice had taken on a boyish, hopeful tone that children used to convince their parents to buy them things. The woman, Lady Medusa, simply patted his cheek with a deranged smile and went back to work. In front of her a rather complicated scientific set-up seemed to be producing some sort of liquid into a vial. Then again, I couldn't really focus on anything except for the flame. The slight flicker made my toes curl just thinking about how much fun playing with fire was.

It wasn't until the vial was shoved to my lips that I took notice, as Lady Medusa plugged my nose and forced me to drink. A burn followed it down my throat, like drinking scalding water. My scream was muffled by her hand over my mouth but the tears still flew down my cheeks rapidly, eyes begging with Kaden before he tipped back his own vial and winced. At once, I felt something strange happen. It was as if someone had played with my energy. Suddenly I felt stretched thing and tight. Muscles tensed again the restraints, I only relaxed once the sensation of pressure got more bearable.

Kaden sighed and put the vial down with a clink, "Is it time now? All she needs is one more soul, Mother!"

"I told you not to call me that!" Lady Medusa hissed, not turning away from me to address him. She peered into my eyes, making strange noises in the back of her throat as she studied them. Apparently what she saw satisfied her as she moved away and, with a flick of her long white cloak, wrote a few notes down on a piece of paper. Finally she turned to her son, my Kaden, and glared at him in slight disgust. "What are you still doing here? Go get the soul, you useless child!"

Kaden leapt into action, running off to find this 'soul'. I wondered if I could have a treat after we were done here? But somehow I still couldn't speak, even though her hand had been removed from my mouth. Something about her frightened me.

"Alright, Lady Medusa!" Kaden had returned, cradling something in his hands: a treat! I jerked ecstatically, my eyes refusing to move from the precious little object. Medusa notice and snickered, waving Kaden forward hautily. I opened my mouth and he placed the soul in my mouth, much to my delight. Swallowing, I grinned in triumph, but it soon disappeared when the pain hit me full blast.

My back arched, cutting off my air as my throat restraint held me at an awkward angle. I gargled helplessly, thrashing as my skin roiled. I could feel things shifting, changing, and the bright light of my curse cloaking me. I wanted to scream desperately but couldn't for some strange reason.

When it was over, the pain slowly lessening, I opened my eyes.

Oh, the treats.

I snapped my restraints easily, staring at the hovering purple treat in front of me. "Last one!" I heard a voice say, "She'll be unstoppable by then, and you'll make Mommy so proud!" The voice cooed at me, laughing as I snatched the soul and plunged it into my mouth greedily. I twitched, feeling out my new power, and noticed a connection. Something else was in my brain and I disliked the unpermitted contact. Turning on the culprit, snarling in rage, I realized that I couldn't kill him. Something about him, well, made me want to stay with him. Instead of reversing his outards and innards, I sidled up to him and nuzzled his chest cozily.

"Alright, you two!" Lady Medusa sang, breaking my focus. "First job! Go kill the town!"

I am the kishin.

(Author's Note: I feel as if I didn't hit Medusa quite right there... but she fit the character I needed so I cast her there! So, this is part one of two! Next one will be up as soon as I can transfer it out of my brain and... yeah. Have fun, ducklings!)