While we were out at dinner that night, I told my dad about Ben.

He said, "Well, I'm happy for you. Just don't get caught up in a relationship when you need your focus to be on school."

"Don't worry," I said. "I've only been on a few dates with the guy. It's not exclusive, but it's possible."

He kind of rolled his eyes a bit and said, "Oookay.."

I woke up in the middle of the night and got sick again. Oh my gosh, what's wrong with me? I remember feeling sick like this when I became diabetic. After I flushed, I checked my blood sugar. 130. A tad high but not high enough to make me THIS sick. The next morning I was in NO mood for breakfast but I went to the kitchen anyway just to say hi to Samantha. I asked her if she had any cereal and she poured me a bowl but I stopped her immediately when she tried to pour milk in it.

"No thanks," I said.

I stared at my bowl and moved my spoon around but never actually took a bite. I couldn't.

Samantha took a deep breath and said, "I heard you last night."

Oh great. My dad still worries about my health so I asked, "Did Dad?"

"No, he didn't," she said before adding, "but you do look a little green, Stace. What's going on?"

I shook my head and said, "I don't know, Sam. Maybe I'm coming down with something. Is there a stomach virus going around here?"

"No."

An awkward silence was broken by her saying, "You're reminding me of my sister. When she-"

I interrupted, "Your sister? What are you talking about?"

"How long have you been seeing this Ben guy?" she asked.

"Huh? On and off since June I guess..but what does that have to do-"

Then she interrupted me with, "do you think you might be pregnant?"

"WHAT?" I exclaimed. "Pregnant? No. God no! I mean, he's not even my boyfriend."

She said, "um, that doesn't matter. Have you..ever?"

Embarrassed to even say this in front of her, I looked down and said ,"well..yeah. We have."

"Did you use anything?" she asked sternly.

Shoot. We didn't. I know, it was a bit foolish but it was only that one time. Obviously the incident from Vegas too but clearly, I didn't get pregnant from that encounter. It was months ago.

She took a deep breath and said, "Look, I just remember when my sister got pregnant. She looked like you."

There was no way. I mean timing wise, right? Or was it? Oh my gosh, I don't know.

I responded, "Sam, I have to pay attention to myself constantly and I know my body so well. If anything was different, I'd know."

Sam said, "but aren't things different right now, Stace? Have you been sick any other time?"

Damn. I looked down again before admitting, "Yes. On the plane."

She put her face in her hands and muttered, "Oh, Stacey."

I quickly said, "Sam, it's probably nothing. Ok? I'd been really stressed at school. I don't always eat healthy these days. I mean, it's probably nothing."

"Yeah, you already said that," she said, with her arms now folded across her chest. She continued.

"Well, why don't you go clean yourself up, we'll grab some coffee, stop at the drugstore and buy the test before your dad wakes up. Let's just get it over with, ok? Your dad wants to do something nice for you today so we'll spend the day with him and then we'll deal with this later."

After a wonderful day with my Dad, I couldn't believe that hours later at 11 at night, I was holding a pee stick in my hand, sitting at the kitchen table begging my stepmom not to say anything to my dad.

"I won't," she said. "For now."

I couldn't sleep at all that night. All I did was toss and turn in bed that night, terrified.

I was pregnant. A 23 year old graduate student who had done everything right, my grades were good, I had a fantastic apartment with my best friend, was having a great time with a new guy and now I was going to ruin his life AND mine. All because Boy-Crazy Stacey just couldn't help herself, as usual. I wanted to call Claudia so bad but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I decided to wait until I got back to California to tell her in person.

As my plane landed, I was filled with emotions, sad to be leaving New York, heartbroken at my Dad's reaction to the news, terrified to tell Ben and my mom and I just had no idea what to do. I just needed Claudia.