AN: Hey everybody! Sorry about the wait. More chapters to come in the morning but right now I'm falling asleep at my computer...
Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.
Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!
Hope you enjoy!
Chapter Fourteen - Water-coloured Memories
"You and roofs. Some things never change." Philip said as he found Sarah sitting, clutching her knees to her chest and crying silently. He sat down next to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it's okay, Sarah." He said and she gave a hollow sounding bark of a laugh.
"I had forgotten what my name sounded like." She told him, frowning a little and willing the tears to stop.
"Should I call you 'Azula'? What kind of name is that anyway?" He said and she looked away sheepishly.
"Azul means blue in Spanish." She told him and he smiled, shaking his head.
"Why'd you run, Rookie?" He asked and she smiled at the old nickname.
"Because three years is a long time. Although, sometimes it feels like no time at all. When I saw him it felt as if we had just said goodbye yesterday..." She admitted and Philip sighed.
"So, if you feel that way then why did you try to send him away?" He asked and she shook her head.
"I'm not the same girl he fell in love with, Philip." She told him and he laughed a little at that.
"Really? Because running away is very you, Rookie." He told her and she gave him a weak smile.
"I guess some things really don't change. But some things do. I mean, just look at you. At some point in the last three years a small rodent died on your face." She joked and he laughed a little, pulling a mock frown.
"Not you too. Everyone is hating on the beard." He said and she gave him a weak smile.
"Tia hates it too?" She asked and he nodded.
"She keeps on threatening to call off the wedding unless I shave it off." He told her and she sighed before taking off her safety glasses and replacing them with real ones, at which Philip frowned. "Since when do you wear glasses?" He asked and she sighed, running her hand through her short, red locks.
"Like I said, three years is a long time. The scar isn't just for show. I did get caught in that blast. I didn't die, obviously, but I did get pretty badly injured..."
Three Years Ago - The Normandy
"Hey." Sarah didn't bother sitting up as her mother walked into her room, too preoccupied with staring out of her window as she lay back on her bed, her head dangling, upside down, over the side.
"Hey." She replied as her mother lay down next to her.
"There a reason we're upside down?" She asked and Sarah sighed a little, trying to ignore way one side of her face ached beneath the bandage. She wondered if she'd ever be able to see out of her right eye again.
"It's really hard to cry when you're upside down." Sarah said and her mother gave the best nod she could in such a position.
"Yeah. I guess it is. You haven't really talked to anyone since you got up. I just wanted to say that if you needed to talk to anyone, I'm here." She said and Sarah gave her a weak smile. "I'm glad you're back. We missed you." She said, and Sarah felt as if she wasn't just talking about her departure for C-Sec.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to become so wrapped up in... What happened." She said and her mother gave her a sympathetic smile.
"It's okay. You're too much like your father, sometimes. You just needed to figure it out for yourself." She said and Sarah snorted softly.
"Is that why you killed those bastards before I got the chance?" She asked and her mother gave a guilty shrug.
"Like I said, you're too much like your father. You need someone standing in the way of your shot to get you to back down. I couldn't let you become like me. Revenge isn't something you can ever recover from." She said and Sarah frowned a little.
"But you still killed them." She stated and her mother nodded.
"Anyone who messes with you has to deal with me and your dad." She said simply and Sarah gave a grateful smile before it became a frown once more.
"I don't know why you were so bothered about me not getting revenge. It's not as if I was any better to start with." She pointed out and her mother shook her head.
"You're back, aren't you? It was just a matter of time." She said and Sarah gave a sad smile.
"And some really good friends." Sarah said and her mother nodded.
"Your aunts told me that you ended up with quite a little posse." She said and Sarah snorted.
"Posse? Philip would love that. And Tia would roll her eyes at him. And Red... Red would ignore them and then I would catch his eye and grin and he would give that little almost-smile he does." Sarah said, letting her hand trace the bondmark that was still fresh on her neck, before continuing on in response to the question in her mother's sub-harmonics. "There was always the policy growing up. I'd talk to Dad about the turian stuff and sniper rifles, and I'd talk to you about human stuff and boys. I'm not sure if this comes under 'turian stuff' or 'boys'." Sarah said, honestly, and her mother let her sub-harmonics trill with motherly comfort.
"What's he like?" She asked and Sarah gave a sad smile at the memories that were only a few hours old.
"He's tall, dark and very handsome. And quiet. And he keeps to himself a little too much, to the point at which really knowing him is almost impossible. And he's sensible and thinks before he acts and yet, somehow manages to not be boring. And he's smart and... he just seems to get things that other people don't see. He's just... He's Red, you know? And, I guess it shouldn't have surprised me so much when I fell for him..." She admitted and her mother laughed softly.
"Yeah, that sounds about right. He marked you before you left?" She asked.
"Yep. Is this too weird? I mean, it feels weird that I haven't even talked to you about him before."
She asked and her mother smirked.
"Not at all. Grandma Hannah didn't know your dad and I were seeing each other until after he had marked me, so I have no room to talk. That's the way it works with turians. You meet your bondmate, you realize they're your bondmate, you mark them. Much less mess than the human way. I know that it drove your father crazy to wait so long to mark me." She said and Sarah smiled.
"I can imagine." She said before her smile faded and she started to frown again. "Is it supposed to feel like this?"
"Feel like what?" Her mother asked and Sarah sighed.
"Like my heart is somewhere else. Like it was ripped from my chest and I should probably go back for it if I want to keep going…" She said and her mum gave her a weak smile.
"I don't know about 'supposed to' but, yeah. That's exactly how it feels." She said and Sarah frowned.
"How did you cope? When you were locked away?" She asked.
"Badly. I don't think there is a way to 'cope'. I want to tell you that it gets better over time, but it doesn't. You just have to distract yourself." She told her, wishing that she had better advice to give.
"So, where am I going? Somewhere sunny I hope." Sarah tried to joke, to lessen the pain of reality. Wherever she would be, it wouldn't be with him.
"Wherever you want, Sar. Liara can set you up with whatever background and qualifications you need." She said and Sarah gave her a sheepish grin.
"That feels like cheating." She said and her mother snorted at that.
"Sarah, you may not have had anything resembling a formal education but it was a damn good one. Plus, you inherited your intellect from me." She said and Sarah smiled.
"Just not your battle skills." She countered and her mother nodded.
"Sarah, putting a gun in your hands is a waste of your brain. You gotta go with what you're good at. For your me and your dad, it's killing mercs. But that doesn't mean that it's the same for you." She said and Sarah nodded.
"I want to help fight Cerberus. Not with you guys but I think I can help with the hybrid… problem." She said and her mother regarded her closely before speaking again.
"Okay." She said simply and Sarah offered up a weak smile before moving onto her next question.
"How long do you think I'll have to disappear for?" She asked and her mother sighed.
"I honestly don't know, Sarah. We can't risk them realizing that you're alive." She said and
Sarah frowned, keeping her eyes on the stars.
"If they figure it out, they'll try to get to me through him, won't they?" She asked and her mother nodded.
"Yeah. It's a safe bet. I know that you didn't want to make such a drastic change when you went to C-Sec but the hair might not cut it..."
"You mean the eye thing?" She asked and her mother nodded.
"Yeah, it would make them look human." She said and Sarah nodded.
"Yeah. I'll see the doc about it in the morning..." She said reluctantly before they both lapsed into silence for a few moments.
"I like your hair." Her mum commented. "Red's a good colour on you."
"Thanks. I like it too."
Two and a Half Years Ago - Edinburgh City Centre
She pushed herself to stand in the crowd. To try and desensitize herself to the panic. It was a good distraction. Not much made her feel anything but the loss of Red anymore. The panic that gripped her when standing in a crowd was one of the only respites she could get.
After five minutes she had to leave the crowded street, unable to stand it any longer. She headed into a small cafe that she hadn't yet visited, which wasn't that surprising. She pushed herself to concentrate on her studies, trying to find anything that would distract her from the hole in her heart. It left little time for trips into town. Such ventures did nothing but leave her with time alone with her thoughts. Which was the last thing she needed.
She ordered a hot chocolate instead of a coffee; she had enough trouble sleeping without overloading herself with caffeine. She made an effort to smile at the barista and was mindful to thank him. She couldn't let herself fall back into Angel mode. But he kept frowning at her.
"Do I know you from somewhere?" He asked and a little fear gripped her heart. Could he have recognized her from the news reports about her death? But then their eyes locked and she knew exactly who he was.
Harry.
She hadn't meant to see him. She couldn't. Not when she was so drained by the loss of Tiberius. She simply didn't have it in her to face whatever he might say.
"No, I'm sorry. You must have me confused with someone else." She said and gave him a quick smile, not noticing how the brief hope in his eyes died. She hadn't considered that he had heard the news and also thought her dead.
She headed away as fast as she could, her sub-harmonics trilling with regret and loss, when she bumped head-first into a female turian entering the cafe, causing her to drop the stack of textbooks she had been carrying.
"I'm so sorry." The turian said to her and Sarah noted that she was relatively short and had lilac colony markings. She frowned at the turian as she realized that the words hadn't come through a translator but were surprisingly well spoken in Human Common for someone with no lips.
"No, it was my fault." Sarah replied in Turian Common and the turian frowned at her.
"You speak TC surprisingly well." She commented and Sarah shrugged, suddenly realizing that
knowing TC may not fit in so well with her cover.
"About as well as you speak HC." Sarah observed and the turian nodded.
"Yeah, well, I'm a xenolinguistics student at the university." She said and Sarah nodded.
"I'm a genetics student myself." She offered, smiling. She hadn't so much as seen a turian in almost a year and she had to admit that it was nice.
"Wanna sit and talk? I could really use the HC practice from someone who can hear my sub-harmonics. I'm assuming you've had the hearing implants since you seem to have the vocal ones." She observed and Sarah nodded.
"Yeah, no problem. I'm Azula." She said, a little regretful at having to offer her cover name, taking a little solace from its meaning.
"Wait, doesn't that mean... Isn't it the name of a colour in one of the common Earth languages?" She asked and Sarah nodded.
"Azul means blue in Spanish." She clarified and the turian frowned a little.
"Your parents named you 'blue'?" She asked and Sarah gave a weak smile, shaking her head.
"It's a long story." She said and the turian nodded, seemingly accepting her non-answer.
"Just call me Cee. Everyone here does." The turian told her as she bought her own coffee, Sarah doing her best to avoid Harry's gaze before they headed off to sit down upstairs.
"So, Cee, what made you study here?" She asked and the turian gave a shrug.
"It's easier to learn xenolinguistics when you're forced to speak at least one of the other languages constantly. Although I'm struggling with the inflections. I'm used to my sub-harmonics doing all of the work." She said and Sarah nodded.
"Yeah, I hear that's a bitch." She said and Cee's sub-harmonics trilled with question.
"I don't mean to pry, but I'm just wondering why you have the implants to begin with." She asked a little uncertainly, and Sarah's sub-harmonics trilled with regret before she could clamp down on them and Cee's eyes quickly darted to her neck, finding her bondmark.
"Oh. You have a turian bondmate?" She asked and Sarah sighed, shaking her head.
"I'm sorry; I don't like to talk about it." She said and Cee nodded, sub-harmonics trilling with apology.
"I'm sorry, Azula. I didn't mean to... I'm not so great at personal boundaries." She said and Sarah gave her an understanding smile.
"It's fine, really." She said and Cee nodded, her sub-harmonics trilling in thanks.
"So, there's a party being held this weekend by some of the med students. Some guy named Damien and his... girlfriend, I think the term is. Do you want to come with? I still don't know too many people." She said and Sarah gave her a sad smile.
"I'm really sorry, Cee, but I don't do parties." She said, letting her sub-harmonics tell the turian that she didn't mean it personally, and Cee nodded in understanding.
"That's alright. So, inflections?"
Two Years Ago - University Library
"So, you're the one who's been taking out all of the books on turian physiology." A heavily accented voice came from behind her and Azula - she hadn't been Sarah for over a year now - turned around to see a tall, slim, blonde woman in her early forties.
"Yeah, I'm a genetics student. Background reading." She explained and the woman nodded.
"You know that you can download the digital versions, right?" She asked and Azula shrugged.
"I don't like using them. I prefer the real thing." She said and the woman nodded.
"Understandable. So do I. Why do you need all of these books, though? Some of these are very random." She observed and Azula shrugged once more as she sat down at a table and began sorting the books.
"I read this paper on turian bonding across species by Dr Kirmasova and it got me thinking because, from an evolutionary point of view, it doesn't make any sense. Two different species can't interbreed to produce fertile offspring. With the exception of asari, of course. Except, turians and humans can have children which is really weird, given the vast difference in their evolutionary backgrounds. Then I remembered that the Protheans gave the asari biotics by manipulating their genome and so then I thought…" The woman in front of her frowned and Azula realized that she had just rambled on about her idea to a complete stranger. In her defense, she had no one else to tell. Her only friends were Cee and, by extension, Damien. Cee didn't know the first thing about biology and Damien's field of knowledge didn't much extend beyond the OR.
"You're talking about hybrids?" The woman asked lowly and Azula shook her head.
"Of course not. This is just scientific curiosity. Nothing more." She said quickly and the woman nodded.
"I think I've heard about you. You're the girl who transferred from the colonies and aces every test. Your professors think that you're either a genius or obsessive." She observed and Azula nodded in response.
"Probably a bit of both, to be honest. Although I had thought that 'girl with the huge scar' was the name I was currently going by." She said, sighing. The woman was instantly struck by how much older this girl looked than her actual age. She looked more than a little tired and as if she was starting to get sick from stress.
"So, you somehow find the time for extra research on top of your course studies?" She asked, ignoring the snarky comment, and the girl gave a dismissive wave.
"Please, I finished learning the course syllabus years ago." She said, a little impatience and frustration entering her tone before she sighed, realizing that the woman wouldn't leave. "I'm Azula Mizuiro. And you are?" She asked.
"Just call me Nataliya. That kind of research is restricted for a reason, Azula." She said and the young woman nodded.
"I know. It's just... if it were possible for turians and humans to have perfectly normal children, without all of the health defects that the Shepard-Vakarian kid or the Cerberus hybrids had, then..." She trailed off and Nataliya frowned at her a little.
"This sounds a little personal." She ventured and Azula snapped her eyes up quickly to meet hers, the deep shade of green no longer looking so dead, and she narrowed them before answering.
"My best friend (my only friend, really) has a human bondmate and they're really happy together but Cee has always wanted to have kids and I know that it really bugs her that they can't have any." She said and Nataliya nodded.
"You think that it's possible?" She asked and Azula nodded.
"I'd need to do some more research, this is just a side project, but I think so." She said and
Nataliya nodded.
"I must confess that I'm intrigued. I know that Cerberus has made the subject of hybrids somewhat of a taboo, but I think that if some positive work was done in that department, that might change."
"That's exactly what I was thinking..."
One and a Half Years Ago - A Small, Quiet Bar
"How did I let you talk me into this?" Azula groaned as she sat down next to Nataliya, who passed her a beer.
"Because it was this or the hospital." She replied, taking a drink from her own bottle and pulling a face. "Urgh, that's terrible. But it'll have to do."
"Nat, really, I have work to do." She protested, starting to fidget where she sat.
"No, you don't, Zu. You're sick with stress and have been since I first met you. You need to get out and have fun. Relax." She said and Azula sighed, not touching her drink. It would do nothing but dull her ability to distract from the ache of her heart and not touch the pain at all.
"Please, Nat, I'll be fine. I just have to keep busy." She said and the older woman shook her head before looking Azula dead in the eye, seeing both the strong, confident young woman and the scared little girl who wanted to go home.
"Where's home for you?" Nataliya suddenly asked and Azula shrugged.
"Wherever I sleep." She said and Nat shook her head.
"'Home is where the heart is', so where is that?" She asked, noticing how Azula's hand went to the necklace of a red half heart around her neck.
"Doesn't matter. I can't go back." She said and Nataliya gave her a sympathetic look.
"Who did you lose, Zu? I know that look. Someone close to you died. Who was it?" She asked and was caught off guard by the harsh, bitter laugh that escaped from the girl as her hand moved to the scar over her face.
"Me." She replied simply, her gaze moving to the singer on the stage, ignoring the woman in front of her. Sarah had died and everyone knew it, although she hoped that Red didn't believe it. She knew that her aunt Liara would tell her if anything happened to him but she couldn't help but worry and miss him. This was why she'd never wanted a bondmate. Why she'd always been so opposed to the idea. But the thought that she might one day get to see him again... It had once filled her with hope, but now? Would he even recognize her? She couldn't stop the thoughts, which she normally worked so hard to ignore, from overwhelming her and escaping as tears as she let the dull buzz of the bar and the music from the singer on stage wash over her, part of her hoping to drown in the noise because she was just so sick of fighting. Of struggling to just stay put. To keep going on, knowing that he was out there somewhere. Waiting for her.
"He said, 'Will you come travel the world with me?',
She said, 'With you babe, I'll do anything',
I'll do anything,
Married by December and the kids are on the way,
She's got twins in her belly and they know it's not the same.
Because time goes by and love grows,
Because time goes by and don't we know.
I heard this song and I hope that we're the same,
I heard this song and I hope you feel the same,
Because hope,
Hope lasts a long time,
And you,
You feel my real life,
And love,
Love lasts a long time,
And you,
You see my real mind..."
One Year Ago - Azula's Office
"So, you finally get an office and your first move is to set up a cot?" Nat asked as Azula concentrated on the terminal screen in front of her.
"Yep. It's not as if I sleep anyway." She said, before noticing the worried look Nataliya was giving her. "Look, I want to take these Cerberus bastards down. It's... Let's just say they're to blame for this." She explained, indicating to her scar.
"Zu, I had no idea..." Nat said and the redhead nodded in response.
"I just... I have to stop them. I'm not going to waste this opportunity." She said and Nat sighed as she leant on Azula's desk.
"Then stop pushing everyone away. Zu, we're part of a team here and as much as I find your snarky attitude endearing, the others don't like you very much for it." She said and Azula sighed. She refused to shut herself down as she had when she became Angel but that meant that the pain, and her tired attitude towards it, was showing.
"Nat, we're all working on different projects. You and I are the only ones working on the hybrid problem. I don't see why I have to try and play nice." She reasoned and the older woman sighed again.
"Because alienating everyone isn't the best way to make friends." She countered and Azula rolled her eyes.
"I don't want to make friends... Bosh'tet!" She yelled, hitting the terminal and Nat raised her eyebrow.
"Isn't that a quarian swear?" She asked and Azula shrugged.
"I feel like tech responds better when I communicate in its native tongue. Not that tech likes me, anyway." She said, sighing.
"What are you trying to do?" She asked and Azula shook her head.
"There's something wrong here. The communication protocols... I think they've been hacked.
But I'm terrible with this shit." She said and Nat frowned at her.
"You know that this is why we have a security team, right?" She asked and Azula gave her a blank look.
"We have a security team?" She asked and Nat sighed.
"Zu, we're in an Alliance lab, of course there's a security team. Plus they've got some extra help on loan from the Council. Follow me." She said and Azula did just that as she lead her through to quite a large office where she was faced with several krogan along with the usual Alliance soldiers, who were all eying the krogan suspiciously and keeping their distance.
"Hey, can anyone help my friend here? She thinks that she's spotted an irregularity in the comm protocols." Nat asked and the leader of the krogan made his way over to them, causing Azula to crack a wide grin, showing off her unusually pointed teeth in a way that she usually avoided.
"Your friend have a name?" The krogan asked.
"Azula." She replied and he gave a laugh.
"Really? I think I'll call you Pixie. You look like a pixie." He said and she raised her eyebrows at him.
"Oh yeah? Tell me, do you want a small human woman to break your nose in front of all of your friends?" She asked and he laughed again.
"You've got a quad human. I'm Mordin." He said after they had finished pretending to introduce themselves to each other. Repeating the same dance she had performed when she visited Hilary in Vancouver before she had graduated.
"Okay Mordin, this is kind of a tech problem. I wouldn't want to overtax your brain." She teased and he laughed again.
"Alright then, give it to the humans." He said and Nat couldn't help but smirk.
"So, this is the problem?" She asked Azula who gave her a questioning look. "You're secretly a krogan."
"Brilliantly deduced, Sherlock." She said as she handed her data over to the human soldier who approached her, wishing that it was Tia instead. She missed her old friends. She missed him. But if she could help to put an end to Cerberus... She could never go back. She knew that. But maybe forward wouldn't have to be so lonely. Assuming, of course, that he would want to leave everything behind to be with her. Which she could never be sure of and would, really, never ask of him...
"You were right... This looks like... Cerberus. Someone has been hacking our systems to send intel to Cerberus. Good catch." The Sargent told her, as Azula simply nodded. There was no way that she was going to say that she only recognized the irregularity from when she and Red had been chasing down the restricted medical tech. The tech Cerberus had been using to create the hybrids. She still hated that it had taken her so long to figure it out.
"Can you figure out who it was?" She asked and the Sargent nodded.
"They were clever about covering their tracks but not clever enough... Dr Gale." She concluded and Azula gave her a significant look.
"You're sure?" She asked.
"Positive. He used his omni-tool and he's the only one on campus running that particular model." She explained.
"You keep track of that stuff?" Nataliya asked, concerned.
"Of course." The Sargent replied and Azula turned to face Mordin, her body aglow with biotics.
"Well, let's go and ask him about it. You with me, Mordin?" She asked and he laughed, nodding.
"Of course, Pix." He said, as they headed down to the labs where the other scientists were currently congregated. Azula quickly incapacitated Dr Gale with her biotics and one of the others ran up to her.
"What is the meaning of this?!" He asked and Nataliya offered up the datapad.
"We have reason to believe that he has been sending details of our work to Cerberus." Nat explained and they all frowned at her.
"But he can't be..." One started to object and Azula simply shrugged, still keeping Dr Gale incapacitated with a stasis field.
"We could ask him." She said, moving towards him.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Dr Gale shouted. "Get her away from me! She's crazy!"
"Don't even try that. We have the evidence, Gale. Zu is just being nice." Nat explained and he narrowed his eyes at her.
"Why?" Azula asked and he practically spat at her.
"Asks the hybrid sympathizer! They are good for nothing more than slaves and you would have us accept them into society! Help them!" He screamed and she nodded.
"Of course I would. And I think that makes me more human than you." She told him, no anger present in her tone. She no longer had any use for it. She wasn't built for anger or violence, and never had been. "I'll keep him here until the cops show." Azula told them.
"What? Don't have the guts to kill me?!" Dr Gale asked and he was answered by a shot from Mordin's shotgun, causing Azula to spin around and face him, biotics still flaring.
"What was that for?" She asked and he shrugged, holstering his weapon again.
"Pix, he was a threat. He had to be dealt with." He reasoned and she glared at him.
"We don't shoot unarmed prisoners. Are we clear?" She hissed at him and he simply laughed as he followed her out of the room and away from prying ears.
"Ha! You are so your mother's daughter." He said and she sighed, shaking her head.
"How is she? And everyone else for that matter. I only get the updates Auntie Liara sends and she can't go into too much detail in case the messages are intercepted." She said and Mordin gave her a sympathetic look.
"They're okay, Pix. And they're doing everything they can to stop Cerberus but... it's like fighting smoke. The galaxy's a big place and they have plenty of places to hide. It doesn't help that they're keeping their attacks to a minimum." He said and Azula sighed.
"So, they're not really a threat to anyone but me right now." She summarized, and he nodded.
"Yeah."
"And what about..." She trailed off but the krogan took her meaning.
"He's managing about as well as you, from what I could gather the last time I was on the Citadel. He practically attacked me, demanding to know if you were okay. I think the lack of contact has been getting to him." He reasoned and Azula had to stop the tears from forming in her eyes.
"Yeah. It's not been easy. What did you tell him?" She asked and he laughed.
"I asked him if he honestly thought a little blast like that could take out a Shepard. And then I told him that if he wanted any more details, he should just look in the mirror to get a fair idea." He said and Azula sighed, letting a few tears slip down her face.
"I'm glad you're here Mordin but..."
"You wish that they could have sent him?" He finished for her and she nodded. "I've been helping out the Council. Proving the krogan are ready for a bigger role in galactic politics and all that. It would have looked suspicious to not send me."
"How long are you sticking around?" She asked.
"Just six months and then I get rotated out." He explained and she nodded. Six months with a constant reminder of the life she had left behind. It would either strengthen her resolve or break her completely.
2 Days Ago - The Local Highstreet
"Nat, I don't need new clothes." Azula said, folding her arms.
"You need something. We're celebrating! It's not every day you make a breakthrough like this one. Plus, this is my effort to cheer you up. Cee's been getting worried about you." Nataliya told her and Azula rolled her eyes.
"Cee's always worried about me. Wait, is this why Damien's been trying to scan me when he thinks I'm not looking?" She asked and Nat sighed.
"Yes. Apparently something has been blocking his scans." She said and fixed Azula with an accusatory glare.
"What? I don't like doctors, I don't like hospitals and I really don't like scans." She said and Nat sighed once again.
"Zu, you're sick. Anyone with half a brain can see that." She started but Azula shook her head.
"I know, Nat. But it's not something that can be fixed by doctors. I'm not even sure that it can be fixed any more. Maybe I'll live out the rest of my life as a ghost. However long that is." She said and Nataliya was taken aback. This wasn't the longest Azula had spoken for, but it was the most she had ever said.
"We worry about you, Zu." She said and Azula laughed a little at that. It seemed like everyone spent their time worrying about her. Which had always been the case. Red had understood. Red always seemed to understand, even when he didn't even know the full picture. He knew her and she missed that. She missed him. But she couldn't dwell. Dwelling lead to other people worrying. Which, apparently, led right back to dwelling.
A fucking circle of pity.
"Well, don't. I'm dealing. I've always dealt and I will keep dealing." She said before sighing in frustration at the build-up of the crowds. "Can we take a shortcut?" She asked and Nat nodded as they began to head through the little back alleys.
"We only worry because we care." Nat told her and Azula sighed, nodding.
"I know you do. And I appreciate it. But please don't. I can take care of mys- LOOK OUT!" She yelled, biotics flaring. She pushed Nataliya out of the way of the two agents shooting at them. She figured that it was probably Cerberus. But they seemed to want her dead, not captured.
So, they were chasing Azula and not Sarah.
She just couldn't stay safe, could she? She thought to herself as she threw a couple of warps at the agents, hoping to take down their shields, as they headed back to the safety of the campus.
The agents got to her first and she cursed as she attempted to use her biotics to disarm them. She was suddenly, painfully aware of how out of practice she was. She had kept up a punishing exercise routine. She had to, to keep the symptoms of bondmate separation at bay, but it wasn't enough. She hadn't practiced her hand-to-hand in three years and she had kept the use of her biotics to a minimum.
By some miracle, she managed to disarm them and hold them back long enough for them to escape back into the lab.
"You're bleeding." Nat observed and Azula quickly thanked her foresight as she was wearing black clothing. Nat could see nothing more than a dark patch on Azula's jumper.
"So are you." She countered, looking at the scratch on Nat's head.
"Not badly. Did you get hit?" She asked and Azula shook her head.
"No, I'm okay. Really. Just a scratch." She lied. She healed fast and the bullet had only scraped her. The wound was deep but would be gone in a week. Medigel could handle it for now.
"Azula, I know that you hate them, but I think it's time for more security." Nat said and Azula shook her head.
"No. Ever since the krogan left, it's just been one group of idiots after the next. They do nothing but hang around and distract me while I'm trying to work." She said and Nat sighed, nodding.
"Okay, then."
"And that brings us up to date. Kind of. I didn't want to bore you." She said and he nodded.
"So, Rookie, I guess if Cerberus is after you, you're good at your job." He said and she smirked.
"Very good. It's been three years and I've had nothing better to do than work. I work, breathe, eat, sleep and then do it all again. Hoping that one day it gets easier. And it never does." She told him and he nodded.
"Smiley told me as much. He still loves you, you know." He told her but the pain was just too much. Like being exposed to sunlight for the first time in years, his words seemed to scorch her skin and she flinched away. She just wasn't ready.
"So, what about you? What have you been up to these past three years?"