A/N: Hi, people. We're back and stuff. You know, completely on time. Not late at all. Yeah, yeah, we know. Our excuse? Who cares at this point? Nothing you haven't heard a million times already anyway. So, we don't quite know what else to say here, but we feel the need to break the 2000 word barrier, so we're just going to ramble on and on and on and on and on and yeah. Come on, just fifteen more words, come on, come on, yes! Exactly 2000 words!

The hill looked like a mountain that was short and covered with grass. Oh, and a Stonehenge-like structure on the top. But cooler - more gangsta*. Perhaps a cool hangout for cool people, like Gollum, or the Witch-King. Yup. It hovered ominously on the horizon, where the sun was just setting.

Aragorn glanced up at it wearily and warily, thinking to himself, Really, this is where we're staying? He turned to the hobbits and said, "We sleep here tonigh

Merry groaned, "Really? Here?"

"Yup, really," replied Aragorn.

"Okay," Sam shrugged, seeing nothing wrong with this. "I'll start cooking and stuff."

After walking for another hour, the group finally arrived at an indent in the side of the hill. The hobbits began taking off their packs, pulling out their blankets and sleeping rolls, and settling down to catch their breath. As Sam sat down, he felt a hand on his back. Turning, he asked,"Fay?"

"Uh, hey Sam," Fay said anxiously. "Um, sorry about that whole misunderstanding thing. From the other night."

"It's okay," Sam responded. "I'm just glad that it didn't really happen. Gandalf's a little too old for you."

Fay blinked. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that wouldn't have worked anyway. So, you were planning on making dinner?"

"Yup. I'm gonna make sausages, tomatoes, and nice, crispy bacon. My favorite!" Sam gave Fay a big, cheesy grin. "Kidding."

Before Sam could tell Fay what he was actually making, Aragorn threw a big sharp object at him.

Sam gaped as he barely caught it. "What, you trying to kill me?"

"No, Sam," Aragorn said seriously. "That's called a sword."

"I'm aware, just pointing out the fact that it almost hit me."

Merry rolled his eyes. He, unlike Sam, was actually a bit excited about the possibilities of having his own dangerous weapon. "Can I have one?" he asked, his eyes wide with desire- or, uh, heroicness. Yeah. Longingly, he looked at Aragorn's pack.

"No, you get the sack," Aragorn replied. Merry's devastated face made Paige snicker.

"But I want one!" Merry whined.

"Don't give it to him- you can't trust him with it," Paige warned.

Sighing, Aragorn gave in to Merry's bambi eyes. He took out a tiny hunting knife and chucked it at him.

Merry immediately started trying to impale a tree.

Fay grinned happily. To Sam, everything seemed to move in slow motion. Really slow motion. He could see Fay's hair drifting in the wind, her radiant smile lighting up her entire face, and her beautiful eyes sparkling happily. He sighed, and absent-mindedly put his hand on top of hers. Fay glanced down in surprise. Then she shrugged, and leaned on his shoulder, causing Sam to blush.

Paige smirked. She poked Merry, and he stifled a laugh.

As they whispered and giggled surreptitiously, Aragorn stared off into the distance. "I will be back shortly. I'm going to take a look around."

Fay wasn't really paying much attention, though she responded anyhow: "Okay." She was too happy to care very much.

So as Aragorn went off, Sam started making supper, distracted by Fay all the while. She soon grew tired from all the traveling the company had done that day, and settled down nearby to take a well-earned nap. She drifted off to the sounds of water boiling and Merry wreaking havoc on the surroundings- wait, water boiling?! Bleh, I'm too tired for continuity errors, she thought, and then she started dreaming about rampaging bunny rabbits with Sam's hair. Thinking about how incredibly overly fluffy that was, she managed to wake herself up. But then she saw the roaring fire blazing out from the darkness in front of her.

Before she could think how cozy it looked, a huge shadow blotted it out. She jumped and yelled, before realizing it was just Sam.

"Shhhh!" he whispered. "Big creepy Ringwraith dudes. Don't let them know we're here."

Fay opened her eyes very wide. "What?!"

Sam covered her mouth with his hand. "Just be quiet and follow us. We're going to the top of the hill. We'll stay there until Aragorn finds us." He lifted his hand.

"You know, there are some major issues with this plan-"

"Yeah, we couldn't think of anything else. Now let's go!"

The hobbits pulled their swords from their sheaths, then headed up the winding path to the ruins at the top of the hill. It seemed like a perfect chase scene until Fay tripped on a rock. She let out a startled yelp as she face-planted in the dirt. Sam called out, and attempted to double back toward her, a screeching Nazgul in hot pursuit. Paige and Merry scrambled away in fear as it bore down on Sam and Fay. The Nazgul raised his black sword melodramatically as Sam held out his hand to help her up.

"Sam!" Fay screamed, looking over his shoulder at the burnished blade.

"What?" Sam responded, not aware of what was going on. He pondered this in confusion as Fay rolled over, pinned him to the ground, gasped in pain, and collapsed on top of him. It was then that he noticed the Nazgul pulling its sword from Fay's shoulder. "Oh my gosh!" he shouted in surprise.

At that moment, Aragorn rushed into view, brandishing a torch and his trusty sword. He unleashed all his super-cool fighter ninja skills on the ring-wraiths, because he was cool like that. Sam used the opportunity to pick up Fay, who was breathing heavily and whimpering, to the side of the path. Merry and Paige ran over to try and help. As the wraiths retreated, Aragorn went to see what the trouble was. Sam turned frantically to him and said, "Aragorn! Fay's hurt!"

Aragorn could tell exactly what the trouble was from the bloodshot eyes, gruesomely infected wound, and endless moaning. He picked up the sword lying on the path nearby, then slammed it back into the ground. "She's been stabbed by a Morgul blade."

Sam's eyes widened. "Is she gonna die?"

"Worse," Aragorn replied darkly, "she will become one of them."

Sam reeled back in shock at the thought of Fay, empty, cold, lifeless, and evil. It would be horrible. It would be more than horrible. It would be absolutely terrifying. Quickly he asked, "Can you save her?"

"Have you ever heard Athelas? Kingsfoil?"

"Kingsfoil? That's a weed!" Sam realized.

"It will help for the moment, until we get to Rivendell. Could you gather some?" Aragorn questioned.

"Certainly."

The sound of hooves echoed off the crags. In the distance, Sam could see an elf- an elf! with chiseled features, long, perfectly brushed blond hair, a bright, glowing elvish aura, and- you guessed it- eyeliner. His horse slid to a halt (although it was fairly graceful), and then the elf performed a beautiful leap onto the ground. "Whoa," Sam muttered under his breath, thinking how the heck is that a dude?

The elf turned to Aragorn. "Legolas, at your service."

"Legolas Thranduilion? Prince of Mirkwood?" Aragorn wondered aloud. "What brings you this far west?"

"I cannot tell you at this time," Legolas said mysteriously. Aragorn accepted it calmly, sure that Legolas had some deep inner reason, being an elf and all.

"Can you heal her? We are bringing this Hobbit to Rivendell. She is important," Aragorn explained, trying not to give away too much.

Legolas glanced at the still moaning hobbit. "If we hurry, there may be time. Quickly, get her onto my horse."

"Got it," he replied, lifting the seemingly lifeless Fay and placing her gingerly on the back of the horse.

Legolas hopped back on behind her and grabbed the reins. The prince nodded at Aragorn and grinned, "See you in Rivendell." With that, he rode off into the distance.

Sam looked distressed. "Is she gonna make it?"

Merry shrugged, "Probably not."

Sam glared at him. "Do you even care whether she dies or not?"

"Nope. Not particularly."

Paige slapped him in the face. "Right," she rolled her eyes.

Aragorn interrupted their little spat. "Well, we won't find out until we get to Rivendell, so we might as well start walking. Quick, let's pack up our supplies and head out."

"In the middle of the night?" Merry whined. "I'm tired!"

"You heard Aragorn," said Sam, still concerned for Fay. "We're leaving. Right now."

Meanwhile, Legolas was riding as fast as he could (which was elvishly fast), with Black Riders in hot pursuit. He swerved around trees and jumped over logs in an attempt to shake them off his trail. It didn't work so well. After only a little while, he could see the dark shapes of the Nazgul getting closer and closer behind him. Fay groaned in pain, nearly falling off the horse because of the melodrama of this scene. In fact, if it hadn't been for Legolas' elvish reflexes (or ninja skills, whatever), she definitely would have toppled to the ground. "Come on, hold on..." he muttered in a manner similar to Arwen in the movie.

Luckily, Legolas noticed a broad, raging river up ahead - how convenient! He crossed as quickly as he could and did the whole Moses thing, you know, "ha, you're drownded!" and stuff. The Nazgul stared in open-mouthed horror as the river crashed over them (not that anyone would be able to see their open mouths). BOOM! Legolas whooped loudly, then stared as Fay fell off the horse. "Oops." The elf saw the disgusting state of the delicate Hobbit, and muttered under his breath, "crap." Legolas facepalmed. "These sentences are getting too short." Sighing, the elf bent to pick up Fay. But then he noticed that Fay's blue eyes were milky, and Legolas knew that she was turning into a wraith. "Crap," the elf said again. Then Legolas muttered some elvish words, you know, keep Fay alive, the power I have in me, etc., etc. It seemed to work for a couple seconds, until Fay collapsed melodramatically to the ground, now unconscious.

Yeah, this might not be good, thought Legolas, who then deposited Fay on the horse once more. As quickly as possible, the two galloped the final stretch to Rivendell.

A/N: What we did before this chapter was written: 1. Made brownies that taste like olive oil. 2. Got a new writer's chair. 3. Pretended they didn't taste like olive oil so they tasted normal. 4. Accused each other for being born wrong because we have a sense of humor. 5. Accused our writing of being complete crap. 6. We argued about apostrophes in the word gangsta' (or gangsta, whatever it is). 7. Explained that an asterix is not the same thing as an asterisk. 8. Used said asterisk. 9. Decided on a new method for writing chapters (it's called alternating sentences and seeing what happens). 10. Talked about politics. 11. Acted out what we were writing. 12. Realized how cheesy Sarah's writing is. 13. Turned writing this chapter into a battle of wits. 14. Talked about Sam's fluffy blond leg hair. 15. Broke into Sarah's house just to add to this list- and use the bathroom. 16. Prefixophisticatapotaterism- a religion involving sophistication with potatoes and prefixes. It's legit.