A/N: Stuff stuff stuffity stuff stuff stuff stuff. The end.
Fay awoke to the sound of, "Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh! She's opening her eyes!" then decided that she had probably been out for a while.
Blinking wearily, she grumbled, "Shut up..."
Thinking of how stupid these punctuation marks would look when typed on a computer, she sat up, and cast her eyes about, revealing Legolas, who looked incredibly excited about this minute endeavor. "What. The heck. Are you doing here?!" she asked, shocked.
"Oh, it was my shift. We were sort of y'know... Shifting and stuff. Sam was here until a couple minutes ago, but he had to pee-!"
"Holy Mother of Dead Refrigerated Fish, Fay, you're alive!" Sam interrupted.
"Wait wait wait. Hold it," Fay said, making Sam freeze in his tracks. "Wouldn't the mother of dead refrigerated fish be just another dead refrigerated fish?"
Legolas looked thoughtful. "I always assumed it would be Dead Refrigerated Shark..."
Sam raised an eyebrow. "Because sharks give birth to fish...?"
"Well technically," said Paige who popped her head inside, "sharks are fish, so baby dead refrigerated sharks are the same as baby dead refrigerated fish."
"So why the differentiation in the first place?" Fay responded, not even thinking about how long she had been asleep or anything of that nature.
Paige thought for a moment. "Because when you were referring to fish, you were referring to fish on the lines of trout, or salmon, etc. I had to make the distinction."
"Well, sharks don't give birth to trout. Or salmon, for that matter," Fay mused in response.
"I didn't say they did. I said they gave birth to baby dead refrigerated sharks."
"But you admit it! Sharks don't give birth to fish!'
"No, you admit it! We're all sick of Rivendell, and just want to skim over it, but we introduce an important character, and have to do it anyway, and..."
"Ugh, this just SUCKS!"
Fay shifted uncomfortably in her seat as Elrond droned on about something relatively important. Why in the world did she have to be at this counsel? Sure, Gandalf? That's something he would enjoy. But personally, Fay wasn't a fan of long, boring Tolkien info-dumps. There really wasn't much happening that she was interested in... And even as she was about to drift off into the depths of slumber...
"...right, Fay?"
Fay could feel the tens of thousands (or, y'know, thirty) of eyes on her, waiting for some intelligent response. Taking a metaphorical leap, and sitting up straight, she responded, "Yeah, sure, of course!", hoping people wouldn't notice her obviously fake smile.
Elrond smiled back at her, genuinely relieved it seemed. "Well, you might as well get packed, that way you can head out as soon as possible."
Fay hopped out of her seat, excited to finally go home, when suddenly a voice stopped her: "I will help you bear this burden Fay Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear." She turned around to see Gandalf standing in front of her.
Uh, whaaaat?!
"Good to know," she replied, trying not to show how confused she was.
It didn't end there however. In the space of two minutes, Strider, Legolas, a dwarf, and some random chick had all volunteered to help her on her 'quest'.
That was when Sam interrupted, "Miss Fay's not going anywhere without me!"
And why the heck not?
"No indeed," Elrond interjected. "It is hardly possible to separate you, even when she is summoned to a secret meeting and you are not..."
Sam blushed as he halted next to Fay, wondering if his secret crush was that obvious.
Fay thought to herself, does he know how obvious he's being?
At that moment, Merry and Paige dashed out from behind two pillars and yelled, "We're coming too!" They rushed out into the midst of the newly established establishment standing in the middle of the council chamber.
Elrond raised his highly expressive eyebrow. "Anyone else want to come out from their hiding places? No? Okay. Then you shall be the Fellowship of the Ring!" He slumped into his chair muttering about how the young people these days just don't understand the meaning of the word "secret."
"So," Paige asked, smiling, "where are we going?" Everyone looked at her. Then Fay jumped in.
"Hey, it's a valid question. Where are we going anyway?" Everyone turned around and looked at her.
"Fay," Merry whispered in her ear, "were you spacing again?"
"Maybe," she responded under her breath.
"You know, people always assume you're the smart one. If only they knew how idiotic you really were."
Fay hit him playfully. Elrond was back to muttering to himself, this time about hobbits who didn't pay attention when something important was going on.
Unfortunately for Fay, nobody bothered to answer the question. Instead, they started to filter out of the council chamber to get ready for whatever big mission they were going on. "Guys? Guys!" yelled Fay, desperate to know what she had gotten herself into. Probably something dangerous.
A tap on the shoulder made her turn around. "Oh, Sam! It's you."
"Yes, yes it is," he replied. "So, do you really have no idea where you're going?"
"Would I look like an idiot if I said yes?"
"Yeah, probably."
"Oh."
Silence reigned. Sam cleared his throat. "Ahem, so... Basically you're taking the Ring to Mt. Doom in the middle of Mordor so that you can chuck it in and destroy Sauron and it's gonna be super dangerous and you can't put it on or else bad stuff will happen and chances are we're gonna die." He nodded seriously.
"That makes so much more sense!" Fay replied. Then she realized the weight of that incredible run-on sentence. "Wait... That dangerous?"
Sam contemplated this for a moment, then shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much."
"Oh. Okay then, better go get ready! It's gonna be a long trip..."
A/N: Short chapter. Yeah. Stuff. Cool. Alright, that's enough. Sweet. End.