The first time Wendy had flown to Neverland she had been mistaken for the Never Bird and had almost died because of it. Seeing as this mystical beast had almost cost Wendy her life she had been naturally curious about seeing it but she had never been so lucky or, as it seemed, had anyone else. But that did not stop Peter.

As Wendy walked quietly though the trees, a quiver full of arrows slung over her back, she heard laughter ahead. Felix had been teaching her to shoot and she was deeply pleased with her progress, though she presented nothing but humility. The skill did not come naturally to her and so she had worked hard to train her body to adopt the corrects stances and to look after her arrows and bow. She focused on the task in the same way she had learned how to swim, which felt like an aeon ago now.

Tightening her wrist guards she saw that a group of Lost Boys were standing at the base of a great tree, one that Peter told her was the oldest in the jungle. Once the followers Peter had were few but they had been working for years to build the numbers back up and now their search was over. It was a group consisting of a few boys that Wendy had picked and even though she should not she always felt a flare of motherly affection when she saw her boys.

However there was nothing motherly about her relationship with Rufio, unfortunately for her. He had been with them for a few weeks now, though she and Peter had been in contact with him through dreams for far longer. During those encounters her interaction with Rufio had been minimal, Peter wanting to make it clear that he was the leader and that their loyalty was to him. She was to be respected but at a distance. However the few times they had spoken Wendy had felt an unmistakable attraction that the dark haired boy could not mask. In fact she was sure he did not care about hiding it until he realised what she and Peter were to each other. Rufio was handsome, fun and confident and while Wendy recognised that those attributes were attractive she did not feel in anyway romantically inclined towards him.

She was happy to be in his company and had given him an enthusiastic welcome but she had been formal since then, never being too affectionate or psychically too close. It was to spare both of them any future pain. However unlike the other boys that Peter picked he waited longer to bring Rufio to the island, for reasons he would not give but she suspected. Rufio had made it perfectly clear that he did not want to stay in his world because he had nothing there left to stay for; his grandfather was dead and his younger sister along with him. But still Peter hesitated and made excuses until Wendy threatened to go and collect him herself, poison or no poison. The threat was probably not the best response to the situation but it had worked.

She smiled softly when she saw Rufio standing near the front of the group and like every morning he inclined his head to her respectfully on sight. Wendy stopped by a tree and wanting a better vantage point she left her bow and quiver at the base and climbed it before sitting on a bough overlooking the boys. She had never counted herself a tomboy but she could not pretend that she did not spend most of her time climbing trees and getting dirty. Sometimes she liked it, not wearing skirts but dressing in trousers and rustic blouses that she had woven herself. But at other times she liked to be clean and neat, just to remind herself that she was not born in a barn. Peter was stood high before the old tree, smiling excitedly and his eyes flashed giddily. Oh no, she thought with a sinking feeling. That look never boded well for anyone.

"It's taken years but finally you're all here!" Peter shouted and the boys clapped and cheered. He had managed to convince most of them that being picked was not just by chance but that it was fate. Maybe it was, Peter didn't believe in coincidence and she was starting to doubt it to.

"What is this place?" Rufio asked, looking up at the massive tree. It was dripping with moss and so high and large that it seemed to have it's own ecosystem, it's canopy lost in mist. Peter's mouth thinned ever so slightly but Wendy caught it before he grinned.

"Legends say this is the tree that the Never Bird nests in. Now it is tradition that whenever new Lost Boys are brought to Neverland they must prove their bravery."

"I'll do it! I'll do anything!" someone shouted and Wendy was pleased to see that it was not one of her boys. Only foolish people say such things without knowing the danger. Peter, of course, loved it.

"Good man! Now all you have to do is climb and to prove that you've reached the top you must take a feather and return with it. The one who is successful will have the feast tonight named in their honour!" Peter finished animatedly and the boys roared in approval. There was to be a huge celebration tonight, one that Wendy was looking forward to despite the mischief and mayhem that was sure to unfold.

"But how will you know they've not just grabbed any old feather up there?" Wendy asked loudly and the boys looked up at her with surprise. Peter, no doubt aware of her presence since she stepped out of her cave that morning, smiled.

"I'll know."

"But this doesn't seem much of a challenge," Rufio said and meant it. Wendy smiled while Peter cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh, did I forget to mention? Only someone with a pure heart can get a feather from the Never Bird," Peter explained, eyes now narrowed into slits. He smirked but Wendy knew he did not like being questioned unless it was by her or Felix. At this news the boys gathered slumped.

"And how many boys have succeeded in getting a feather?" Wendy asked.

"Only one," Peter said and to her stupefied surprise he produced a feather. She jumped down from the branch and moved over to him as the boys crowded around to get a look. It was the exact shape of a peacock feather but white. As it caught the light Wendy could see that there was an iridescent orange sheen marking out the eye at the feather's tip. It was beautiful.

"You need to have a pure heart to get it?" she asked, amazed as Peter nodded.

"Who did you steal it off?" Rufio asked and Wendy laughed before she could stop herself. It was a fair question. Peter smiled coldly as the boys laughed.

"I got it when I first came to Neverland, took it from the bird herself, which was quite before your time," Peter answered pointedly and Rufio looked at the ground, nodding. He knew when to back off but Wendy thought it was unnatural to him. He was outspoken, a natural leader but he could see who was the alpha here and he had likely heard now what happened to Slightly.

Wendy's humour faded as she gazed at Peter thoughtfully. He had never told her that he had seen the Never Bird, she had started to think it was just a myth. Again she was reminded that there was so much about Peter that she still had to uncover. People spend their whole lives getting to know a person and she had lifetimes but would she really be able to learn what she desperately wanted to? There was a way but it was such an invasion of privacy that she shuddered to consider it. She was not that desperate, not yet.

The boys were now looking up at the tree glumly. No one there thought they had a pure heart, because of the lives all of them had left behind. Everyone there was scarred in some way and none believed themselves pure. Whether it was true or not – she could not say what horrors they may have inflicted on others – they were not on the island to be miserable or feel any less about themselves. Peter had presented them with an impossible task, the Never Bird was not up there she was sure, he was just doing it to prove his own superiority over them. Mouth a thin line Wendy moved to Peter's side and before he could react she snatched the feather out of his hand.

"There! I've won! I think there are far too many self congratulatory boys here without throwing a party for one!"

"I wouldn't mind some Lost Girls..." one of the boys muttered and there was some throaty shouts of agreement. Peter groaned, eyeing her wickedly before the boys started chanting her name, Rufio leading the choir. Laughing wildly she was picked up and placed on the shoulders of the tallest Lost Boys – Felix would likely dance a jig before lifting her anywhere – and carried towards the camp where the feast was being set up.

"Put me down! I'm not ready!" she cried out, unable to stop grinning. Neverland could be a terrible place; she would never forget the pain, death and entrapment that she had once endured but sometimes it could be wonderful. It all depended on what they made of it.

White feather now tucked into a headband Wendy stared at herself in the mirror. Blue, silver and purple sequins glinted off her blue dress in the lamp light, casting splashes of light around the room. It was a lovely dress, straight from Paris. Through observing the dreams of those from her world she had been able to witness the passing of time that she was excluded from. She had seen the end of the Great War, rejoiced as most women were given the vote and watched, enthralled, the first moving pictures. She could not experience it like others could but she was not completely barred from the changes that were happening in her world and she would partake in it as best she could.

Mostly in private she wore the fashion that was popular now, listened to music - jazz and moody blues – and just as boys were brought to the island these things were too. In the beautiful bedroom that she fashioned for herself she had placed a real record player – something that the shadow had brought for her, along with other items. Humming along to Louie Armstrong she turned away from the mirror, her smile fading as she glanced around. The room was lit with candles and soft lamp light, making the yellow walls glow gold. The bed was large and the covers clean and soft and Persian rugs were underfoot. The polished oak wardrobe was filled with beautiful clothes, most of which she had spent days, even weeks, constructing herself by hand. There was a fireplace framed by two armchairs, small tables beside them, along with a radio. It was a comfortable, inviting room, a room belonging to a worldly, respectful woman.

However it was a room she experienced alone, empty of any other company. At first it had been a result of Wendy wanting her own space, something familiar and totally separate from Neverland and it largely still was. But over the years it transformed as her needs and wants did. Even though they shared the same island and they obviously had an attachment they still did not share a life together, not the one that Wendy wanted deep down. They saw each other everyday, sometimes they shared a bed but it was not complete, not fulfilling to her. One of her greatest wishes had been to have a domestic life, to have a husband and in time children. Now she could have none of those things but it did not stop her wishing and dreaming.

It was a room, a bed, meant for two. The wardrobe and cupboards sat waiting for another persons clothes to sit beside hers. It was missing books, trinkets and pictures that highlighted that this was a life shared. If she asked, if she laid her desire down at his feet, he would probably laugh and stamp on it. What right did a domestic life – boring, safe and so adult – have in Neverland? It was not him and, as his consort, it should not be hers. They shared an island, what use was a room?

"I want it, I want more..." she sighed, staring at the record as it began to skip, repeating the same phrase over and over.

crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy -

Torches flared and burned in the dark, moths and other insects fluttering around the flames recklessly. They mirror the boys circling the bonfire, jumping back and forth, swept up in the music of the pipes and their own heady liberation. Would they ever get burned? Could she stop that from happening? Now the island was the most peaceful it had likely ever been but could anyone truly temper Peter?

"Someone looks serious," a voice said and Wendy looked up and smiled at Tink. The fairy was in her usual attire, muted clothes that she confided had once been bright green. Wendy felt a little overdressed. The boys had cleaned up quite nicely; their hair was combed, their faces washed and they had removed their hoods but she was a glittering bauble in a sea of patchwork fabric and grubby knees. Eyes routinely flicked to her and she realised, not for the first time, that she was constantly surrounded by boys and not young ones at that. They would not dare treat her disrespectfully or make unwanted advances, she had made that clear and Peter even more so. However it did make her feel isolated sometimes. Tink suddenly flourished a hand, changing her clothes into a simple but pretty dark green dress made from leaves and small sparkling jewels. She pulled Wendy to her feet, making her laugh in surprise.

"Come on, lets step on some toes."

More thankful than she could voice that she had some female companionship she and Tink danced, twirling and spinning wildly. The fairy was usually so sullen, so sunk into her own sorrow that to see her so carefree, let alone smiling was something to be treasured. Wendy suspected rum had something to do with it but it seemed more than that.

"You're awfully happy tonight!" Wendy said as the drumbeat thrummed through her body. It never failed to amuse her that Peter had them learn how to play. Tink smiled, holding Wendy at arms length before spinning her. She was leading.

"I realised something!"

"What?"

"I love him."

Wendy slowed, staring at Tink in surprise. "You mean the Capitan?" she knew that Hook and the fairy were as intimate as possible and so she had believed that love was without question. But it seemed she was wrong.

"Yes," Tink said and drew Wendy away from the fire and overhearing boys. Wendy glanced at Peter talking to Felix and Rufio, who was laughing. Peter caught her eye and smiled, something hot and teasing and she felt her stomach tighten. He gave her that look before he usually chased her. But Tink drew her to a quiet spot, the music echoing distantly.

"I admit I thought you already did," Wendy confessed, taking a seat. "You're both so...close," she finished tactfully and Tink snorted and then sighed, cocking her head. She gazed at Wendy thoughtfully.

"Sometimes I forget how young you are," she said softly and Wendy was stung. She straightened, chin lifting.

"I'm actually twenty three now, sort of," she was not a child, she did not even feel like a teenager but true adulthood was just tantalising out of reach. Tink waved her hand.

"I mean that you've been sheltered for most of your life about the way of the world. I was to," Tink said quickly as Wendy was about to argue. "Where I come from fairies are forbidden from having relationships. We could not love, could not form attachments and be intimate. We had a job to do and nothing could get in the way of that..." she explained, eyes losing focus before she pinned Wendy with a look. "When I was banished I felt reckless, I wanted to tarnish all those stupid rules. I...well, I had fun," she said hedgingly and smirked.

"The sort of fun you have on the ship?"

"Possibly," Tink answered coyly but then grew serious. "Sex is not a substitute for love."

Wendy felt herself flushing but nodded. "I know that I just..." she had wanted to talk with someone about the subject but could not until now. Tink spent most of her time with Hook on the ship and so they did not get enough time together. Tink smiled gently.

"Go on."

Wendy licked her lips. "Girls like me, I mean ones who come from my world, my country, are told that to...consummate a relationship you have to be married. It would be amoral otherwise," she had spent many nights whispering about the subject with...Wendy could not remember who but she was sure she had red hair and laughed easily.

"Look around love, what place do those stuffy rules have here? What matters is what you want and what you're ready for. I never thought I'd be having this conversation with you," Tink sighed, looking in the direction of Peter grimly. "If he pushes it I'll castrate him." she said and truly meant it.

Wendy took her hand and smiled. "He's been nothing but a gentleman where that's concerned. He's actually very patient." He's had to be.

"Still I'm sorry it's come to this. You deserve so much better," she stared at her sadly and Wendy looked down. Tink did not just mean being poisoned but being paired with Peter. They had spoken about her predicament before and Tink was always deeply worried and sorry for her.

"I could be angry and fight to leave like I did before. But this time it's different. I can't leave, I've accepted that and so I'm not going to waste my time being upset. I'm alive and while I'm here I'm going to live as I chose to. I'm going to make this place different, it won't be like it was...as for Peter?" she paused, thinking of what had been and what was now. "I could hide, I could run but I've done that and I still ended up back here. I'm not a fool or deluded, I know what he is...but I also know what I feel and I won't ignore that. I can love him but still be true to myself. I can handle him," she said, gaze steady. It was convincing enough that Tink bought it. Spinning lies came as easy as breathing now, when she had to.

"Well at least one of us can. The changes haven't gone unnoticed you know," Tink said and lifted her face to the sky. Stars shone, as they do most nights now and Wendy had spent many hours tracing the strange constellations, giving names to the ones she did not know.

"Does Hook know?" she asked suddenly, the stars making her think of him, and Tink looked back down. She shrugged, the happiness she once had now muted.

"I'm competing with a ghost," she answered with a soft sad smile and Wendy squeezed her hand. She had been so hopeful but now she was introspective and unsure. Wendy had to cheer her up.

"Do you know how fairies are born?" she asked with a mischievous smile and Tink gave a sardonic look.

"I think I'm gonna learn."

"I was told that when a newborn laughs for the first time the sound shatters and fairies are born from the shards. After they all go skipping and flying around and that's how fairies are made," she finished with a knowledgeable air and Tink kept a straight face until she suddenly burst into hysterical laughter. It was such a sweet, rare sound that Wendy stored it away to recall later.

"What a load of bullshit! Ha ha!" after the laughter finally died away and she stopped rubbing her stomach she asked Wendy where she heard it.

"Oh from...from someone," she frowned because she could recall the story clearly but as to who told her it? That was fuzzy. "My mother, probably," she smiled but it did not quite reach her eyes. In the room she had created was a journal that years ago she had filled pages with stories about her family. She had only been able to crack open the cover before hastily storing it away in a drawer. She would read it one day, when she was ready because she did not want to forget her parents completely, despite the pain. Not yet but one day.

As the celebration lengthened into the night and a stolen cask of rum was consumed someone set off fireworks that could be seen from the Jolly Roger and made the mermaids surface and watch, awed. Smile stretching her mouth, looking at the burning embers in the sky someone brushed against her.

"You're not dancing?" Rufio asked and Wendy looked down, shaking her head. She took a step away.

"I'm afraid not. Tink had tired me out," that was true, her feet were sore now. "I think I'll go to bed before they get into any real trouble." she jerked her head at the boys who were laughing loudly about something.

"Don't worry, I'll keep them in line," he said, glancing at her. He seemed to have read her unvoiced request and kept a distance but he also looked at Peter to check if he wasn't looking. Luckily he wasn't and Wendy felt relieved. It was actually exhausting having to tip toe around, watching for any signs of unrest like people living in the shadow of a volcano.

"So then what have you been up to?"

"Peter wants me to accompany Felix on their next scouting trip."

"To other worlds?" that was a prestigious honour. Maybe she was wrong about Peter not trusting Rufio.

"My world. I have friends there that I know need an escape, a better life," he said passionately and meant it. This was a better life to him. She had seen the abuse he had endured, the pain and loss and instead of anger twisting him and lashing out he used it to help others like him. It was righteous and he was committed. She wished Peter was truly like that but she may as well wish to ride the Never Bird.

"I'd like to see your world. I'd like to see lots of places but I'm confined here," she sighed.

"Why?" he frowned heavily, almost angry.

"You don't know? I was poisoned with Dreamshade but cured by the water at the heart of the island. It means I can't leave," she showed him the black dot on her arm and he bent down, fingers hovering over her skin but did not touch.

"There's no cure?"

Wendy shook her head. "Just the water and that just keeps it at bay."

"There must be a cure. It doesn't seem right that you're being excluded from seeing the things I can. You're the reason I'm here, the reason I'm still alive," he breathed passionately and Wendy felt her stomach tighten with feeling, remembering the bright red blood he had in his hair after a terrible beating. That had forced Peter to finally rescue him.

"There's nothing you can do. Peter's tried."

"I'll look, there must be something that can help you in one of those worlds. I promise."

"Promise what?" Peter asked pleasantly and Wendy jumped. She felt guilty and scolded herself for it. She had done nothing wrong.

"That I'll find a cure for Wendy," Rufio answered with no hesitation and Peter cocked an eyebrow and smirked but his eyes were strange.

"It seems you've got yourself a champion Darling," he smiled and Wendy gave a weak one in return. Peter turned to Rufio, hands on his hips, legs apart and Wendy sighed. It was his stance before he fought and she was in no mood for fighting, either a physical one or a word battle. She yawned loudly, pointedly and Peter's burning eyes shot to her.

"Oh, excuse me, I'm quite tired," she inclined her head to Rufio and Peter before walking away. She did not look behind but when she felt a tingle go through her back she knew she had succeeded. Peter stopped her, hand on her arm and she turned.

"Tired? You haven't even danced with me yet. I think you've been avoiding me," Peter said with a pout before looking up at the sky as a firework exploded. Wendy cocked an eyebrow and smirked.

"I don't seem to have your name on my card," she said mock seriously and looked down from the light display. He gazed at her and lifted a hand to touch the feather above her head.

"I don't need a card, all those dances are mine. You do like to dress up, don't you?" he said with approval, as if she had raided a dressing up box for him rather than wearing something for herself. Well, half for herself. Wendy shrugged, looking back up at the sky as a huge golden explosion erupted in the sky.

"It seems the proper thing. We live on an island where any thought we have is possible but no one really seems to take advantage of that." Along with compassion she had picked boys with imagination and she hoped that would tackle the lack of creativity that plagued the island. In her opinion, of course...

"Are you calling me boring? Again?" he asked, offended, eyebrow cocked but his eyes shone in bemusement. His jealousy seemed to have faded, or at least it wasn't consuming him for the present.

"Well..." she trailed off, smirking and then gasped when he grabbed her. He pulled her into his arms and she smiled against his shoulder. They moved in slow circles and she was vividly reminded of another dance, this one underground but filled with the same revelry. She had been so happy, so carefree but she had to pretend that she was loved as she wished and now...was it any different? She told herself to just move, no thinking.

They were secluded, leaves shielding them but she could see glimmers of the camp. His lips brushed against her neck and she closed her eyes, hands gripping at his chest as he kissed her throat and made his way up to her chin. She liked these moments, moments that she could pretend was just them. Sometimes she imagined that they were not in Neverland but in some secluded park in London and they were normal. She opened her eyes when her back gently touched a tree trunk and she saw dazedly that Rufio was watching them. His eyes were pinned to hers and when she realised he quickly turned and walked away. Peter leaned down to kiss her but Wendy pushed against him and he stopped.

"What?"

"Nothing. I really am tired," she said again. She wished she hadn't felt Rufio's eyes on her, hadn't spotted him because now the mood was spoiled. Peter started grinding his teeth and exhaled a breath through his nose before moving aside.

"You're as changeable as the weather, London weather," he gritted out, unable to mask his frustration and Wendy stopped. She inhaled and kissed him hard, hands delving into his hair before he could react. She filled the kiss with all the bottled up frustrations and needs that she felt and he responded in kind, kissing her furiously. It was a kiss that could end with her on her back, she had felt how close it could be before and this time she was not scared. Mouth well used and throbbing she pulled back and he followed her with a strange growling whimper. She smiled dreamily.

"Yes I suppose I am. Will you walk me back?"

"If you wish it," he answered and took her hand.

As they made their way back to Wendy's cave you can see the change in the terrain that slowly hints that you were now heading into Wendy's side of the island. There were clear pathways, even sign posts and logs were embedded in the earth as steps. They walked over a swing bridge that arced over a narrow but deep stream before they reached Wendy's cave.

"You know if there was a cure I would have got it by now," Peter said, stopping her before she climbed the ladder.

"I know," she said but the truth was she did not know. She only had his word that there was no cure, not even one on the island. It was convenient for him, a way to keep her by his side but she had told herself that if she doubted everything he said or did she would never stop. She did not want to live in such uncertainty or to be so mean minded. He was cruel but he seemed appalled at the prospect of losing her. Having a cure would ease his mind as much as hers.

"You'll never guess what Tink told me?"

"What?"

"She's in love with a certain pirate," Wendy confided and only felt a little ashamed. She did not keep much from Peter and he would end up finding out anyway. He always did. Peter laughed but did not seem surprised.

"A fairy without wings and a soldier without a hand, what a match!"

"Don't be mean," she said but she may as well ask the tides to go in. She took the feather out of her hair and handed it back to him but he shook his head.

"Keep it," he offered gently and Wendy smiled, titling her head.

"How did you get it?"

"Well I didn't steal it," he answered tersely before shrugging. "Another thing that I don't have a clear picture of. It was early on, I know that." He looked upwards as clouds skidded across the night sky. "I just remember it's song," he sighed and by his tone of voice she knew it must have been the most beautiful sound. Again she was beset with frustrated curiosity to know more but knew that she would not get it from him.

His dreams on the other hand...

Wendy pushed the thought away and gently brushed the back of her fingers down his cheek, making him look at her in surprise. She gazed at him with a soft yearning and he seemed hypnotised, body leaning into her.

"Will you let me in? Will you let me stay?"

"I should but I can't. I need something that's just mine. Do you understand?"

He nodded even as his jaw clenched. "I do but I want your everything. I want more," he breathed against her mouth and she blinked. She wanted that but he made it sound like he wanted to consume her while she just wanted to share. Wendy leaned back and smiling gently she took hold of his head and tiptoed to kiss his forehead.

"Goodnight Peter," she whispered and turned before she could register his expression. She felt his eyes on her, burning a trail up and down her body. Lying in bed that night, locked safely away in her room she felt that he was still outside, prowling like a wolf, and her body thrummed with want. The next morning her suspicion was right because as she made her way over the stream she saw that her cave was now completely surrounded by a wall of Dreamshade. She could be scratched by it and experience no ill effect, not any more, but anyone that approached would be in grave danger.

If Peter could not enter then no one else could either.

a.n:

Hi, fyi I'm not on hiatus, the show is. So it's going to get more intimate between them soon. After the last episode I hope this goes some way to soothe the pain *cries*

(though Peter and that speech was vicious... *_*)