Part 39 – Warmth
Author's note:
I'm sorry for the long wait! In compensation, I give you…unexpectedly long chapter plus maybe just a tiny bit of fluff.
-o0o0oO-OOO-Oo0o0o-
The van's loose suspension rattled in protest as it turned the corner out of Satoshi's complex and dragged out onto the main street. The unmarked police vehicles that were protecting the apartment dropped into the distance behind them. The sun was dropping out of sight as well, sending ribbons of orange and rose across the horizon as it retreated below the urban skyline.
"It's not dark enough for this," Satoshi muttered from the passenger's seat.
"It will be when we get there. I've done this before, remember?" Daisuke stole a glance at his partner in crime.
The bluenette's stone-faced expression didn't seem reassured. They drove in silence until Satoshi noticed that their turn was coming up and they weren't slowing. "Here's the freeway."
"Oh!" Daisuke cursed under his breath as he swung the van onto the entrance ramp at the last second. The van squealed unhappily at the sudden abuse, barely keeping four wheels on the ground.
Satoshi threw his hand to the ceiling and managed to avoid tumbling onto Daisuke as they careened into the snail shell curve of the entrance ramp. He drew a slow, audible breath and let it out gradually.
The redhead merged the van onto the freeway with apologetic caution, waiting for the inevitable scolding. "I was spacing out, sorry." When they were fully settled in the flow of traffic and the lecture still hadn't come, he spared a curious glance toward the bluenette. Satoshi's expression seemed unfocused, as if he were seeing something a thousand miles away. Apparently, the redhead wasn't the only one with things on his mind.
"Regret rescuing me yet?" Daisuke asked playfully.
Like a switch had been thrown, the lost expression was gone, and Satoshi was looking at him again. He pulled himself back into the conversation, and the corner of his mouth gave a faint tug. "The regret was instant, of course."
Daisuke smirked and looked back at the road. "You have that thing set to channel six?"
Satoshi glanced at the walkie talkie sitting in his lap. "Yeah, it's set."
"I know this is outside your comfort zone, Satoshi. Thank you for coming."
The boy snorted in response. "I'm used to robberies."
"You're not used to committing them."
Satoshi's gaze flicked up to the road. "Exit!"
Daisuke's eyes went wide as he looked up and swerved onto the offramp. The van's suspension whined pathetically. "Sorry, sorry!"
"Jeezus! Are you certain you're up for this?" Satoshi growled once he was confident they were staying on the pavement.
"Yes. Yes, yes. I just forgot how close it was." Daisuke gripped the steering wheel stubbornly as they turned out onto a local road, following a sign for "University Campus, Next Right". He eased around the campus road, passing students and large university buildings. No classes were in session, but the campus was still bustling with student activity at this time of night.
"We're going to be seen," Satoshi said.
Daisuke smirked. "Yes, we are."
Satoshi gripped the armrest on the door almost abusively. "Are you insane?"
"Believe me, we're less conspicuous in a crowd than if we're carrying out equipment in the middle of the night. Besides, nobody's going to know what that thing is."
Satoshi grimaced. His eyes dropped to his lap.
"Trust me, Satoshi. I've done this before, remember?" Daisuke reassured. His friend nodded grimly. Satoshi didn't look at him. The redhead's garnet eyes softened. "Hey… is everything alright? I know you're uneasy about the theft and all, but… I mean, is something else wrong?"
Satoshi carefully unwound his fingers from the armrest and straightened up a little. He met Daisuke's patient eyes. If this situation were reversed, the redhead would probably spill his guts in a second. He wondered if talking might actually help, this time. Not really his thing. What would he even say? Too many options crowded his head, and he couldn't bring himself to choose any of them. "No, sorry. I'm fine. Let's get started."
Daisuke tilted his head and studied him. "Alright. Just sit tight and be ready to drive."
Satoshi slid across to the driver's side as Daisuke hopped out. "You're sure you know what you're doing?"
"Trust me. There's barely any security here. Just a college building." Daisuke gave him a thumbs-up and headed off toward the building. The redhead made it through the locked entrance so quickly that it almost looked like he hadn't stopped to pick the knob.
Satoshi watched him disappear into the building and gripped his walkie talkie unit until the plastic shell creaked in protest. He should stay focused on what they were doing, but he had the strangest feeling of not really being there. Too much had happened. Everything was wrong. Daisuke and the others, they were upset, worried about various things, yes, but they were all still feeling, struggling, living. He… he felt like the only one numb, watching pieces of his reality crumble off into mazelike darkness he couldn't follow. He didn't know how to prevent it or make any sense of it. He was just watching the pieces float away. He knew it wasn't normal to be this numb. He should feel something. Should he be scared? Furious? Relieved? All he knew for sure was that if he found the answer, it would hurt.
To be stealing equipment from a university building with his best friend while everything else was falling apart was too alien, too ridiculous. He gazed at the inert device in his hand. If it was seriously all falling apart, how come he couldn't say anything?
-I'm in the lab,- Daisuke's voice crackled across the walkie. -There's a storage area in the back. Looks like people don't come back here much. Everything's dusty.-
Satoshi checked his mirrors. Students passed occasionally on their way across campus, but no one was watching them. "All clear outside," he followed up. "How's the security?"
-Pathetic,- Daisuke returned. There was a long pause. –Satoshi, is this definitely the building? I don't see it.-
"Yes. You're sure you know what it looks like?"
-I was strapped down next to one of those things for a week, I think I remember what it looks like,- Daisuke mused. The speaker picked up the sound of him rummaging.
"This machine was a prototype. It will probably be a little different. Look for something with similar controls, maybe a little bulkier than your version."
Silence washed over the connection. Satoshi waited patiently for his friend's status while the last strands of color died on the horizon. The air outside was already cooling. It would be a cold, clear night.
Where was he going to go? He hated that he was even thinking about it, but the dying sunset pried the question to the front of his mind.
'Did you not agree to keep me under house arrest?' Krad's cold voice echoed in his memory.
Satoshi gritted his teeth. He propped his elbow at the base of the window and thrust his forehead into his hand. It was all falling apart.
-Uh, Satoshi? We have a problem.-
He took a deep breath and focused on the walkie. "What happened?"
-I found it, and it's bigger all right. I'm gonna need your help to carry it out.-
"You're kidding," Satoshi said, reaching for the door handle. "I'm coming." He scanned the street around him and walked straight and calm to the door of the building.
-Wait, Satoshi, I'll come meet you, so just wait outside.-
The bluenette rolled his eyes. He was not interested in standing around the door in the middle of a robbery unless he was one of the good guys. He pushed the door open and stepped into the building.
"Satoshi!"
He barely had time to recognize the urgency in Daisuke's voice before the redhead tackled him sideways. The impact took them both to the floor. Satoshi groaned softly as his ribs absorbed the impact of Daisuke's body on top of him. "What the hell," he wheezed, even as Daisuke's hands held him low against the floor.
A thin red beam passed just over their heads. Satoshi stared at it as he worked to catch his breath. "You said the security in here was pathetic."
"Well, it is," Daisuke said carefully. "Just a turret sensor. It rotates around the room." He swallowed. "Easy to miss, though…"
Satoshi managed a wry grin. Daisuke was such a straightforward person that being tactful just made him seem flustered. "It's okay, Dai. My thieving skills are pretty sad. No need to nurse my ego."
The redhead blushed and smiled. "Stand up when I do, and follow my lead."
Satoshi watched his friend's movements and followed him across the hallway into the next room without incident. Inside the lab, Daisuke shut the door behind them. "Good! Is your chest okay?"
"It's fine," Satoshi said, but his ribs ached preemptively when he spotted the huge device Daisuke was standing next to.
"This is what we need to get out," Daisuke said.
"I was afraid you'd say that." The thing was practically a vending machine. "Not quite as glamorous as stealing artwork, is it?"
A sorrowful ache passed through the redhead's expression, obvious for just a moment and then just as quickly hidden behind a stiff nod.
"Daisuke…I'm sorry," Satoshi said, studying his friend's eyes.
"It-it's not you," Daisuke stammered in embarrassment, waving his hands to dislodge Satoshi's concerned gaze. He looked down at the ground. "I just… Dark would have loved this. Instead he's out there somewhere, alone. I left him alone."
The bluenette barely nodded, struck by the easy, direct way his friend could express his feelings for his angel. How had their bond turned out so strong, when his with Krad was such a mess? He put a hand on Daisuke's shoulder. "We will get him back. Let's just get this monster out of here."
It was twenty minutes later when they finally got the thing out the front door of the building. They literally had to slide it underneath the turret sensor, since it was far too large to carry without triggering the beam. The cool night air felt good on their sweaty skin as they navigated the machine to the van. The campus was quiet, with just a few people walking around. Only one student passed them as they eased the heavy machine into the back hatch.
"What are you doing with that?" the boy asked, stopping to peer into the back.
Daisuke froze, but Satoshi was used to being in charge at a crime scene. "Tune-up," he said casually without stopping his work.
"Oh…cool," the student muttered without much interest. He glanced them over and then continued on.
It seemed like ages before they had the building fully locked up and were finally back in the van. Satoshi leaned back into his seat, supporting his throbbing ribs with a firm arm. Heavy lifting was a far cry from good therapy for his injuries, and the pain was making him grouchy. Daisuke wisely chose to stay quiet and give his friend space as he eased the van out of its parking spot and took them back toward home.
-oooOOoO0OoOOooo-
The crowded apartment felt surreally static, like the strange collection of people sitting around Satoshi's living room were painted into the scene. The TV was on in the corner, playing out the media's confused coverage of the events at the Gorudo Corporation headquarters that afternoon. Every channel had a different take on it. A few floor lamps filled the space with mediocre light, but the ambience was languid, insufficient to hold back the sense of nighttime outside. Reclining in Satoshi's armchair, Hattori flipped through the news stations with a bored look on his face. Shira and Trap sat carefully at opposite ends of the couch like awkward throw pillows, patiently enduring the vet's channel flipping and avoiding each other's eyes.
"They should just talk to each other," Risa murmured under her breath as she observed the scene from a stool at the kitchen island. Her hand rested on the counter, carefully curled over the enchanted stone Dark had given her. Its silence felt louder than the TV.
"What makes you say that?" Riku returned from her spot next to her sister.
Risa's eyes looked dull and distracted as they observed their two Gorudo Corp "refugees". "They obviously have some sort of feelings for each other."
Riku just shook her head, her expression hardening. "I really don't care. They're the reason we're in this whole mess. How can you be so sympathetic toward them after what they did?"
"Yeah," Risa agreed mildly. "But they changed their minds." She looked down at her hand, the enchanted marble peeking out between her fingers. "People change their minds."
Riku tilted her head a little at her sister. Risa had been acting distant all night. "You must be worried about Satoshi, right? You know Daisuke will take care of him."
"Yeah, I know," Risa said again, worry crossing her features. "Actually, I don't know what to feel."
Riku's brows knitted together. "About Satoshi? Why?"
She hesitated, like she wasn't quite sure what it would mean if she spoke it out loud. Her sister's patient gaze was waiting. "I…I think we just broke up."
"Tonight?" Riku's eyes widened. She hesitated in choosing her reaction. "But you two have been together so long…"
Risa smiled sadly. She couldn't help but notice her sister hadn't used "but you're perfect for each other" or "but you love each other". She didn't even seem truly surprised. Together so long. Her sister already knew. The strongest part of her relationship with Satoshi had been just how long and hard they had struggled to somehow make themselves work together. There was a kind of love between them. It took a lot of real affection to work that hard at a relationship. It also took some serious incompatibility to keep all the effort from actually succeeding. The others had already noticed they didn't really make each other happy. She felt a little disappointed, like she'd been left out of an important secret everyone knew but her.
"He's always been distant, like he's just out of reach for me. But this week…he's totally inaccessible. I always knew it might not work, but something about this whole mess—it's just set it all in stone. His head is somewhere else. His heart isn't even trying to see me. And I'm not even sure he realizes it."
"…is what Satoshi is probably thinking, just as much as you are," Riku pointed out, glancing at the stone in her sister's grasp.
Risa's expression stiffened for a moment, thinking, then melted into acceptance. "Yeah," her twin said quietly. Her eyes followed Riku's to the stone in her hand.
"Look, sis. I'm not saying I know if the path you want is healthy, or even possible," Riku said quietly. "But you deserve to be happy. Not just 'okay'. You were right to be true to your feelings."
"I know." Risa swallowed hard and stared at the countertop until tears welled up in her eyes. "So how come it hurts so much?"
Riku drew her crumbling sister into a tight hug. Risa burrowed her face into her twin's shoulder and sobbed.
The scene drew the attention of the others. Riku looked over her sister's head to find Hattori and Shira, even Trap, staring at them. Risa's breakdown had disrupted the quiet spell on the room, and Hattori looked ready to spring to his feet once he figured out what he could do. "She's fine. Watch the TV," she ordered them firmly as she held her twin.
In time, Riku managed to coax her into Satoshi's room and convince her to take a shower. It wasn't a bad idea. She'd been on the stakeout in the van for most of the past 72 hours. Stress and lack of sleep were having a serious effect on her coping skills at the moment. She didn't even have the energy to be embarrassed that the others had seen her cry. The desire to be warm and clean was enough to redirect her attention and help her compose herself.
She left her clothes on the floor and gave herself to the scalding water, pointing her face up into the spray as the steam hugged her calm. She looked down at her hand, still clutching the stone Dark had given her. Her fingers slowly uncurled, letting the water pour over it like a tiny river rock. The simple beauty brought her a quiet peace. She watched the light play over the flowing surface and eased into a soft smile. "We're coming to help you," she said gently. A firm sense of hope slowly returned to her as the heat washed her clean.
She could have sworn the stone pulsed, as if possessed with a faint, single heartbeat. It surprised her, but she didn't drop the marble. "Dark?" she whispered, the word echoing off the tile around her.
She knew he couldn't hear her. That wasn't how it worked. But slowly, she began to hear voices from Dark's side of the spell. They were faint at first, as if the link was barely intact. She held the stone close to her ear, though it obviously wouldn't make a difference. Her ears weren't picking this up. Dark's were.
He could hear. He was awake and alive. Relief poured over her. She had almost been positive the stone's link was broken when Dark switched bodies. Gradually, the sounds grew clearer. She stepped back, partly out of the spray, and leaned into the shower wall, listening with all her focus.
It was almost an hour later when she finally stepped back out into the common room, dressed in some clean clothes she kept in Satoshi's closet. She looked radiant and clean with her wet hair still clinging to her neck and shoulders. The heat of the shower had left her with a warm flush to her cheeks, which deepened when she realized that not only were Daisuke and Satoshi already back, but everyone in the room had turned to stare at her. "W-….what?" she stammered, making sure she'd actually put on all her clothes.
"Must have been some shower!" Hattori teased curiously.
"You alright, sis?"
Risa looked around at everyone and stopped on Satoshi. The bluenette was sitting on the end of the couch, forcing Shira closer to Trap, resting a hand over his ribs. To her relief, he met her eyes without too much awkwardness and seemed okay.
"I didn't think I had that much hot water," he commented, with a careful, friendly twitch of a smile. His blue eyes seemed closed off, but he was trying.
She smiled back. Maybe they weren't okay yet, but eventually, they would be. All that effort had built something between them, even if it wasn't romance. That wasn't going anywhere.
She took a deep breath. "I think I know where Gorudo is going to be tomorrow."
"What? How?" Daisuke sat up quickly.
"The transmitter Dark gave me is working again," she said, holding up the stone. "Gorudo's being released from the hospital right now."
"How is Dark?" Daisuke blurted.
Her eyes shadowed a little. "It's not clear…sometimes the signal gets a little blurry, but mostly it's clear and strong. Gorudo's still controlling him. I don't think he can even speak unless that creep unlocks him. But he can hear everything that's going on, and it's all transmitting through this."
"Can I listen?" Daisuke asked.
Risa nodded and handed him the stone. He listened carefully for a few moments, and then blinked. "I heard something at first, but it just cut off."
Risa took it back and looked at it in confusion. The stone was silent. "Either something happened to Dark, or Gorudo just used Dark's memories to find out about the stone."
"Is that even possible? Do you think he knows we could hear him?" Riku murmured.
Risa took a few moments to think. "Even if he knows about the stone because of Dark's memories, he shouldn't be able to tell if we were listening. It looks like he's cut the link off to be safe. But I think it's still safe to assume that what they were talking about in the hospital will hold true. I could be wrong, but he struck me as a little too arrogant to view a few humans as a reason to change his plans."
"You said you heard where he would be tomorrow?" Daisuke prompted.
Risa nodded. "According to Gorudo's lawyers, a press conference in the park tomorrow will be the best choice to settle down all the bad publicity the company's getting over today's scandal."
"That's it, then. That's our chance," Daisuke said. He looked to Satoshi for confirmation, but the bluenette seemed to be zoned out again, worrying about something. "Maybe we should get some sleep, and brainstorm in the morning. It's getting late, and everybody's exhausted."
No one could disagree. Satoshi drew himself back to what was happening around him, realizing his apartment was going to be a hotel tonight. He went to the closet for every blanket and towel he owned and set about laying out a way for everyone to sleep comfortably for the night. When he was done, his living room looked like a teenage slumber party, but everyone had some space. He couldn't remember ever having such a large group in his home, even for a party. It was overwhelming being around so many people. As soon as he had the blankets distributed, he stole the first chance he could to retreat to his own room. He walked across the quiet space and sat down stiffly on the corner of his bed.
She seemed to be okay. He would be okay. Things would be alright, he told himself. His friends were all here. They were in the next room, and he'd kept them safe, and things would be fine. When he figured out what this blackness pulling him apart meant, if he asked, they would go at his side to recover all the pieces. Even if Risa and he weren't lovers, they would still be close. He would go back to normal.
Did he even want normal? Would normal feel less empty?
What if he had been empty all along, and just never noticed until now?
He spread a shaking hand over his face. Why was he thinking like this?
It was a long time before he mustered up the resolve to go back into the main room. The others were in the process of getting settled, and Hattori looked like he was already asleep. "Satoshi?" Daisuke asked from the floor. "If Gorudo decides to come after us…"
"The police outside will see him first," Satoshi said. He touched the police radio that was sitting on the kitchen counter. The volume was set to max. "If anything approaches the apartment, believe me, we'll all know it's coming."
"Good. Satoshi, look at me a second," Daisuke said. He pushed up to a sitting position, focused on his friend. The bluenette glanced at him briefly as he went to check the locks on the door. "Satoshi…come on, what's wrong?"
Satoshi threw a cool, composed gaze at his worried friend. "I'm fine. Get some sleep."
Daisuke frowned. He knew that look, and he knew he wasn't getting past it. Usually, he could more or less figure out what was bothering his friend, but this situation had him stumped. "Is this about Krad?"
Satoshi cast him a startled glare. "Sleep!" He could feel Risa's eyes on him as well as Daisuke's as he marched back to his room. He slammed the door behind him and leaned back against it like there were monsters on the other side. NO. No, no, no. He wasn't going to think about it. He found his anger and held onto it for dear life.
A fierce burst of static jolted through the apartment, followed by a male voice projected at mind-jarring volume.
-This is unit two. Figure sighted approaching from the northeast.-
-Unit four, confirming. Figure is airborne.-
-This is command. Prepare to engage.-
Satoshi's eyes shot wide. He spun and threw open the door. The quiet, sleepover-like scene was abruptly transforming as the others jumped to their feet. Shira was already at the window with her gun, and Riku was launching up from her blankets to peer out next to her. Daisuke and Risa ran to Satoshi.
"No way…he's actually coming here?" Risa muttered nervously.
Satoshi narrowed his eyes. "You said he got out of the hospital about twenty minutes ago. It's the right amount of time."
"But Dark… the police will shoot him!" Daisuke blurted.
"Don't be so sure," Satoshi warned, stepping around them. He rushed to the drawer under the microwave and pulled out his pistol. "Historically, they haven't had a lot of success on that front."
"You think he'll make it to the apartment?" Risa seemed torn between hope and terror.
Outside, a megaphone blared a warning for the intruder to halt his approach.
-This is unit two, Figure is not slowing,- the radio buzzed against the countertop.
-He's been warned. All units, fire at will.-
The sound of gunfire echoed through the walls of the apartment.
"Dark!" Daisuke screamed, launching for the window.
"Get away from the windows. All of you, go in the kitchen and get behind the island!" Satoshi ordered. He took a trembling Risa by the shoulders and guided her hurriedly to the shielded area behind the center counter. "It will be fine, he'll be fine," he reassured her. He ran back to herd the others into the kitchen.
-Unit four. Target has gotten behind the building. Seems he's going in from the roof.-
-Units three and four, move in. One and two, cover the outside.-
"Everyone stay down," Satoshi ordered, unlocking his pistol and pressing his ear to the door. "Shira, cover me."
Shira stayed back near the corner of the room and trained her weapon on the door. "Ready when you are."
Something was coming down the hallway. Satoshi waited, heart pounding in his throat, until the footsteps stopped just outside. "Now!" he shouted.
Satoshi threw the door open and trained his pistol on the intruder with both hands.
And froze.
His train of thought shriveled as he took in the sight in front of him. His blue eyes locked on his target while his stomach backflipped into his lungs. Krad was standing breathlessly on the other side of the hall. There was urgency in his eyes as he looked at his former wing host, but his posture was hesitant. His wings half extended as he acknowledged the gun.
The angel's exhausted form still managed to have a heartstopping presence in contrast to the plain hallway. Satoshi tightened his grip on his weapon. "What are you doing here?"
Krad took a half-step toward his former wing host. "Satoshi-sama-"
"I said what the hell are you doing here!" the boy nearly screamed. His thumb pulled back the hammer.
"Satoshi?" Shira whispered from across the room.
Krad stopped moving and studied the boy's fierce blue eyes. The blonde looked visibly nervous, like he was fighting an instinct to leave. The door at the back of the stairwell slammed open.
"Freeze!" A voice shouted as a SWAT team moved in with weapons aimed.
Krad spread his wings and spun toward the cops, magic crackling at his fingertips. His body flatly denied him the spell. He choked on the recoil and took a staggering step away from the police.
"Don't shoot!" Satoshi shouted, jerking his barrel from Krad to the men rushing the hall. They froze, confused, but didn't let Krad out of their sights. "If you shoot him, I will shoot you. Understand?" Satoshi commanded.
"Commander…"
"Go outside. Go." Satoshi's aim held as the team retreated back down the stairwell in slow confusion.
Satoshi swung the gun back toward Krad. "Why are you here?" he demanded again. Anger stole the breath from his voice, making it low and feral.
The angel turned back to him slowly. He seemed to avoid Satoshi's eyes, tension increasing instead of leaving his shoulders. "Hph. I chose to come, so I am here," he said haughtily.
Satoshi moved his free hand beneath his wrist to steady his shaking aim. He couldn't handle this. Why did Krad have to keep messing around with him? "Get out. Get the hell out!" Satoshi snarled. He no longer cared who was watching their exchange. He was too pissed. "This isn't a game. You don't get to waltz in and just screw me up whenever you feel like it! You have your own body now. Do you seriously still have nothing better to do?"
He waited for Krad to fight back, but the angel went quiet. Gold eyes drifted slowly over his fierce glare, his desperate posture, and the weapon clasped in his shaking grip. "I did not come to screw you up," his low bronze voice offered.
The bluenette jerked the gun at him furiously. "I'm not playing games. You had a chance to stay, now we're done. Let's not pretend today changed anything. I have every reason to hate your guts."
Krad froze, taking in Satoshi's words. His expression went blank, and something shifted in his stance, right down to the tone of his skin. If he'd looked tired before, now he seemed positively depleted.
"Sato…," Risa said very carefully. "I think he's hurt."
"Of course he's hurt!" the boy shouted, "He-" he pressed his eyes shut desperately as images from earlier flooded his vision. Images of Krad shielding him with his body while magical spears tortured his back. Why? Why did he have to go and do that? It made everything so…
"I don't want your help!" Krad muttered. His tone was proud, but his voice was unsteady. "I just…I wish to be here." He was terrified of his own words. It was written all over his face. He still wanted to bolt. He still refused to do so.
He took a slow step forward, but his right leg abandoned his weight, folding under him like paper. The angel let out a stunned gasp and fell forward.
Satoshi watched the angel begin to sink. Without thinking, he abandoned the gun and jumped in to catch the collapsing blonde. He grasped Krad under the shoulders and held him up, chest to chest. Krad's arms caught tensely around his. Without context, the whole scene might have looked like an embrace. Satoshi stared over the angel's shoulder, numb with shock at his own actions. He could have let Krad land on the floor. It wouldn't have killed him. Why did he have to go and catch him?
Why did seeing the angel hurt have to rile him up this much, when Krad could easily enjoy the reverse? It wasn't fair. It was maddening.
"Did they shoot you?" he asked the blonde, his voice barely a whisper next to Krad's ear.
"Once." The angel collected his balance a little, staying off his wounded right leg but still leaning on the bluenette.
"Damn it." Satoshi cursed. Frustrated tears pooled in his eyes. "Damn you. Damn it!" His fingers clenched in the angel's hair as all the fears and traumas of the past week culminated in a single, merciless burst of helpless emotion. He couldn't ignore himself anymore. His inner shields fumbled apart, and the feeling poured out in an unmitigated wave of hurt.
Krad's body stiffened as the tidal wave of emotion slammed through the dam between their minds. Satoshi felt the angel feel him, and he couldn't even find the emotional energy to be humiliated. There was no way to stop his little breakdown in front of them all. He swiped his wet eyes on Krad's shoulder indiscriminately, because it was the only thing available, and blinked down at the wet patch of fabric over the angel's lower leg. His breath shuddered. "Hattori will-"
"You," the angel said, quietly.
"Why—" He dropped the question. Satoshi had used up all the fight he had left in him for the night. "Fine. Hattori, can you get me a bandage please," he raised his raw voice for the vet to hear. The others mercifully offered no comment as he half-dragged the white angel into his bedroom and guided him to a chair.
"Satoshi-sama…" the angel questioned him uneasily.
"Be quiet for a bit," the bluenette ordered. His voice was becoming more controlled, even though his thoughts were still rampaging through their link.
Hattori came in a moment later with cotton and bandages. He glanced to the angel's leg. "Do you need instructions?" he offered the boy.
Satoshi shook his head. "Police training."
Hattori glanced at Krad and back to Satoshi. "Daisuke is going to talk to the cops. The rest of us will be in the next room if you need us."
"Okay. Thank you." The bluenette was grateful they weren't all pouring in to watch. He touched the angel's ankle lightly and rolled up his pant leg. The bullet had lodged in the angel's shin. The bone was close to the skin, so the bullet stood partly embedded in the bone and partly exposed to the air. If he'd been shot at close range, it could have gone straight through the bone and broken his leg. The upward aim and long range had weakened the force of the bullet just enough. What had he been thinking, flying in here under gunfire? Was it that important?
Satoshi's fingers really weren't still enough for him to be a sensitive surgeon. He gripped the end of the bullet somewhat clumsily and pulled it loose. He expected Krad to yell or something, but the angel sat still. It felt very odd to touch Krad this way, when they weren't fighting for their lives. His patient offered him cooperative silence as he wiped the wound as dry as possible, smeared on salve, and wrapped it tightly.
He collected the bloody cotton from the floor and stood to go throw it away. He didn't look at Krad, nor did the angel try to make him, as he went to the bathroom and ran cold water over his hands and face. The bluenette leaned forward on the sink and stared at himself in the mirror, struggling to wipe the stricken look off his face, to pull his diarrheic thoughts back into his own head where they belonged. He didn't want to be connected. He didn't want anyone else in his head. He was done trusting people. He couldn't take it. He couldn't take one more disappointment. But the harder he tried to stop it, the more his mind seemed to scatter, like fish avoiding a net.
*Satoshi-sama?*
The bluenette stiffened. He turned and marched back to the bedroom to glare at the angel. Krad was still in the chair, his hands tensely knotted over the ends of the armrests. Why did he look so rattled? "I said be quiet. Stay out of my mind."
Krad glanced away from him. "Your mind is leaking," he muttered quietly.
A knock came at the door, and Riku popped her face in. "I, uh," she glanced from Satoshi to the angel. They didn't seem to be trying to kill each other, for the moment. "I just…thought I'd bring the extra spaghetti." She stepped in with a plate and set it down carefully on the end table beside Krad's chair.
Krad glanced at the food, and at her.
She blinked at him. Her eyes dropped to his bandage. "How is your leg?" she edged through the syllables like she was approaching a feral cat.
Gold eyes flashed a little brighter as he studied her. She tightened up a little under his penetrating gaze. The concept of having humans concerned for him was disorienting. "It's fine," he said awkwardly, almost skeptically, like her interest might be some sort of trap.
She smiled at him then, throwing him further off balance. "Both of you, get some sleep," she said as she placed a glass next to the plate. "And try not to fight. We need Satoshi tomorrow." She turned and let herself out.
"Tomorrow?" the angel asked.
"The others and I are going to help Dark," Satoshi said. He studied the angel's pale expression. "And if you want to argue about it, you can get out right now."
To the boy's surprise, Krad didn't argue. His shoulders tensed up, but he looked away and didn't comment on the bluenette's intention to save his lifelong enemy. Confused, Satoshi lowered his defenses just a little. "Eat that, and go to bed," he said. He touched the blanket on the mattress thoughtfully. "Guess we don't have a choice. You go under, I go over. I'd rather not have anything across my ribs anyway."
"I do not require your bed," Krad frowned.
"You're not lying on the floor in the shape you're in. Neither am I. Just stay on your side, and don't even think about attacking me again." He pulled his shirt over his head and started changing into his PJs. He couldn't afford to think about what he'd just invited the angel to do.
Krad watched his former wing host change and lie down on top of the blanket on the far side of the bed, facing away from him. He spent a long time thinking, and eating, and even trying unsuccessfully to sleep in the chair, before he finally stood up and limped to the bed. He was almost too exhausted to think, and Satoshi's mind had finally quieted, which he took to mean the younger man was asleep. He lifted the corner of the thin blanket and slid in, facing the bluenette's back. His wings draped off the side of the bed behind him as he kept as much distance as possible from Satoshi.
-o0o0oO-OOO-Oo0o0o-
It was still dark when the angel's subconscious pulled him awake. He glanced downward at the boy's alarm clock on the other side of the room. The digital display read 3:25 AM. He didn't even remember actually falling asleep, but his body already felt immensely better. His gaze drifted up to Satoshi's back, a close shadow in the dark room. His eyesight sharpened as he blinked a few times.
The edges of the shadow were trembling slightly. Krad narrowed his eyes and stretched out his mind, but Satoshi's end of the link was silent. The boy seemed to be asleep. It took a few moments to register that the bluenette was shivering. Of course he was shivering, with no covers.
Well, the fool had made that decision himself. The angel closed his eyes to go back to sleep. Except now, he couldn't unnotice the subtle trembling of the human lying next to him. His nerves edged further and further from sleep as he brought back memories of the helpless misery the boy's mind had hemorrhaged into his earlier. Satoshi seemed to associate him with immediate danger and pain. No…it was even more personal than that. The bluenette was threatened by the concept of even being in the same room with the angel. His former wing host wasn't just expecting danger. He expected cruelty.
And why shouldn't he? The angel had promised as much. He'd expressed pride at the boy's suffering. He'd looked for this reaction. Why get irritated by it now? Krad grimaced and cracked an eye open to study the boy's back.
There had been so much pain. All that anguish couldn't possibly be because of him. Could it? Something more must have happened to get the boy that upset. It startled him how much he wanted there to be something else.
The impulse to stop the senseless shivering nagged him until it was impossible to ignore. The boy was asleep. He didn't need to know. Krad gathered his wings and slowly rolled onto his chest. His right wing stretched out to his side and rested, lighter than anything, over Satoshi's sleeping form.
The bluenette went still as the warm blanket of feathers settled over him. "Krad?" he whispered.
The angel fought the urge to jerk back. He hadn't expected Satoshi to be awake. He reinforced every mental barrier he knew how to use and stayed silent. Let the boy think he was asleep.
Satoshi looked down at the angel's long flight feathers draped over his form. They dipped gently where they spilled down to the mattress. Without his glasses on, he saw the white feathers as luminous blurs in the dim light. Krad's wing barely even had weight, yet it was impossibly warm. If the heat weren't so real, he would have found it impossible to believe the moment was actually happening. Even though Krad had obviously only moved in his sleep. The angel would probably die if he woke up to find himself in this position.
The thought made the bluenette grin, despite himself. He'd never seen the angel's wings this close before, or at such length. He wondered what they felt like. It was a senseless impulse, but… well, he was never going to get another chance like this one.
He couldn't move his right arm without waking the angel up, but his left was free. He slowly reached down and brushed his hand, ever so lightly, across the feathers.
Krad's senses jolted alert. Light fingers slid along his feathers in a slow, careful movement. The angel swallowed. Something tightened low in his body, circulating through him like electricity. What the hell is he doing? He parted his lips to bark at the boy, and then slowly closed them. Wasn't he pretending to be asleep? If he moved or spoke now, Satoshi would know everything.
The bluenette's hand lifted away, only to come to rest a little higher up. Satoshi's cool fingers sank into the warmth between his primaries and sifted through them very lightly. The cool touch sent heat tingling up his wing, straight to his center. The angel clenched his throat tight and stared at the boy's back with wide, startled eyes. It was much more intense than it should have been. He couldn't remember it being this ridiculous when Midnight's dog had touched him.
The worst part was that he didn't necessarily want to stop it. He had a horrible urge to shift his wing upward and drive the bluenette's fingers firmer against him.
Satoshi had never felt anything so soft. Touching the downy smoothness, he could almost forget this was Krad. How could something this beautiful and delicate possibly be part of someone like him? He forced himself to remember not to trust this feeling. Krad was too bitter, too sadistic to ever be a healthy part of his life. He didn't know why the angel had come back, but whatever the reason, it wasn't because he was going to change.
You don't need him, he reminded himself. The self-inflicted warning worked, but he wasn't very happy about it. He frowned and wrapped his fingers into the soft feathers.
"Satoshi." Krad's voice sounded hoarse.
The sound woke the dead-silent air of the dark bedroom. Satoshi froze, blushing to his ears. He was awake. He was awake?
"Yes?"
The angel paused for a few seconds. "Go to sleep," he said quietly, the words thick with something the bluenette couldn't place.
Satoshi realized he was still touching Krad's wing and let go like it was on fire. He grabbed the edge of the mattress instead, tensely waiting for the angel to pull back to his side.
He didn't.
The wing stayed. The silent truce between them stayed. And Satoshi lay wondering what the heck he was supposed to make of all of it, long into the night, until the warmth finally coaxed him to sleep.
-o0o0oO-OOO-Oo0o0o-
To be continued!
Well? Whatchathink? I am really curious lol. Please let me know!
Thank you for reading, and thank you so much to those who left suggestions and feedback for me! I am so impatient to post this monster that I'm going to skip shout outs, but you are all so awesome and you're what keeps me going when life throws me sucker punches!
Oh, and just an update that I put a few more illustrations from this story up on deviantart. I'll put the links on my author profile with the others if you're interested : )