AN: Guess what I got you guys for Christmas? ^^

I just wanted to say thank you with all of my heart to all of my readers. I mean, seriously, you guys spoil me rotten. Over 10,000 views, 50 favourites, 100 follows and 40 reviews. You guys are seriously brilliant and I can't even begin to believe the response this story has generated so thankyouthankyouthankyou and I wish you merry Christmas/whichever religious festival you celebrate in the winter (I'm not religious so I'm celebrating commercial Christmas) and a happy new year! ^^

Of course, as always, special thanks goes to Spyke1985 for betaing for me. You're the best!

Hope you enjoy!

AN - Additional: The two songs in this chapter are In My Veins by Andrew Belle and It's Time by Imagine Dragons (I'm a huge fan of ID) but I also realised that I didn't point out that the song in Chapter 14 is Twenty Seven Years by Eleanor Mawson which I should have done because she's a local artist and I don't think you can find her stuff online yet but she's in the process of setting up a Youtube channel so I'll put up the link once she has since I totally love her stuff.

Chapter Seventeen - Forwards, Not Back

Sarah had arrived back at the Alliance building nine minutes and forty three seconds ago. Tiberius knew this, because that's how long he had been standing outside her office, trying to decide whether or not to go in. Would she even want to see him? Would she just kick him out?

"If you let it get to ten minutes, then you're truly pathetic," Philip said as he approached, causing Tiberius to snap his head up to face the human. "Look, Smiley, trust me on this; you want to go inside. She wants you to. She'd just never say it because she's Rookie and she's stubborn." At that point, Philip just left. Tiberius barely waited another second before glancing down at his omni-tool.

9 minutes and 57 seconds...

He knocked on her door, hoping that he would have the courage to tell her the things he had been desperate to for three years.

"Nothing goes as planned,

Everything will break,

People say goodbye,

In their own special way,

All that you rely on,

And all that you can fake,

Will leave you in the morning,

But find you in the day.

Oh, you're in my veins,

And I cannot get you out,

Oh, you're all I taste,

At night inside of my mouth,

Oh, you run away,

'Cause I am not what you found,

Oh, you're in my veins,

And I cannot get you out.

Everything will change,

Nothing stays the same,

Nobody here's perfect,

Oh, but everyone's to blame,

Oh, all that you rely on,

And all that you can save,

Will leave you in the morning,

And find you in the day..."

Sarah cursed a little as her door beeped at her. She knew without a doubt who would be on the other side. She wished she could say it was because she knew that only four people would be knocking on her door - three of which she knew to be busy - not that she simply knew. But she did simply know. Another reminder of how things had changed in the past three years, though if she was being honest, she knew it had started to change before she'd left the Citadel. She'd put it down to her simply becoming more observant, but that rationalization only went so far.

So, she was very much aware that behind the door was the familiar presence of Tiberius. Her heart seemed to tug at the knowledge, as if trying to drag her back to his side. She was struck by the fact that - for once - she didn't want to run. She'd been running before because it had become her habit, but if she was going to run now, she knew that it would be to him. She'd always known that she hadn't stopped loving him, but… Three years of self-doubts were chasing themselves around her head, leaving her unsure of everything. She knew that she had to try and fix things, to bridge the three year gap that had left her in this limbo state, not quite as bad as she had once been, but not quite whole, either.

The door beeped once more, reminding her of that last night before leaving the Citadel. She wouldn't ignore him this time. This time, she'd be the one to make things right.

If he even wants you to, her traitorous mind prompted, and she nodded to steel herself, her determination setting in. She had to do this.

No other options.

She opened the door as she dialed down her music, turning to face the dark figure in her doorway. All of the air seemed to evacuate from her lungs as she noticed the awkwardness of his stance, the nerves showing through his sub-harmonics. He was as nervous as she was, prompting her to give him a weak smile.

"Hey," She eventually managed to say softly.

"Hey," He replied in kind, and they both stood for a few moments before she realized they were just standing there awkwardly, blocking the doorway.

"Erm, come in…" She said, stammering a little awkwardly as she stood back to let him enter the room.

"I… Um… Can we talk?" He asked, and she could sense his hesitation. She marveled a little at that. Three years absent, and he was still as familiar to her as ever. She knew that the last three years had changed him - she could see that clearly - but it hadn't touched what made him Red.

"Yeah…" She told him, putting all of her effort into not pacing. She could see he was doing the same, prompting her to speak up. "I actually… I wanted to talk to you. About things. I've been… Avoiding things. You. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I just…" Her words seemed to escape her at that. Things had been easy between them once, but she had no idea how to get back to that point.

"Blue…" He started, but she shook her head, raking her hand through her hair as she gave a slight growl of frustration at herself.

"I don't want to fuck this up. And I am. And I don't know how to not, I mean, how do I stop whatever it is that I'm doing that's messing things up? Because I just can't figure it out, I don't know how to… I just don't know, and it's the worst feeling in the world-"

"Blue, I get it."

She nodded as he interrupted her, then shook her head. "No, you don't. I'm being inarticulate and vague. I think we both know exactly what we need to talk about but… I don't have the words," She admitted, before leaning against the wall, pulling her hair from her features as she removed her glasses.

"Yeah, me neither," He told her, and she gave a short, soft laugh.

"Great. Well, neither of us knows what to say. Fucking perfect," She muttered before lapsing back into silence.

"So, how've you been?"

She snorted a little at that. "Seriously? That's what you're going to go with?" She asked, causing him to shrug.

"It's better than silence," He figured.

She sighed and nodded sadly. "Alright then, what do you want to know?"

"Anything. Everything, I guess."

"It's been a long three years. Well, in some ways it has. In others… It hasn't."

"Yeah…" He agreed softly.

She tried to think of where to start, but there were too many ways to tell the story. The successful student inspired to make the galaxy a better place. The hybrid trying to figure out how to stabilize her condition. The shell of a girl, waiting for her heart to come home…

"Well, I got my degree, got my PhD, worked on genetic disorders for a while, and I've been tackling the hybrid problem for about a year now. I've made a grand total of three friends; Cee, her bondmate Damien, and of course, Nat. Honestly, I've been too busy for much else, so that about sums up the past three years for me..." She trailed off, shrugging as her gaze dropped to the floor.

"Yeah, I know the feeling. I think I just spent all of my time trying to keep myself busy..."

She nodded in response, knowing what he meant all too well. "The first year was bad. The second was worse. And the third… I began to wonder if things would ever get back to how they had been. If they ever could." Tiberius shifted at that, making Sarah wonder if the conversation had drifted too close to them. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No. It's okay. I just… It was scarily accurate. Because that's how it's been for me too," He admitted.

She gave him an awkward shrug. "I…" She didn't have the words. How was she supposed to articulate everything she was feeling? The way she felt as if she was being pulled in two by her head and heart as they fought it out.

She loved him.

Why was it so hard to say? She wondered, although she knew the answer. It was hard because she had changed and so had he. They had but they hadn't. She was more than willing to try. He already had her heart, everything else was just logistics. She had never believed that love conquered all because the concept had seemed so absurd. A chemical imbalance that inhibits one's ability to function wasn't something to be lauded, rather it was something to be warned against and avoided.

Except it wasn't. He had her heart and, beyond all reason and common sense, that was okay with her. She just had to tell him...

"Okay," She finally said, taking a deep breath as she began to wring her hands together, pacing a little before stopping to frown a little, biting her lip hard enough to draw purple blood. She had made her decision and she was going to tell him. It might be rushed and ineloquent and the wrong way to go about things, but when had they ever done things the right way? "I'm just going to be honest and blunt because, let's face it, I'm really bad at anything else, and I've been trying to figure out how to approach this gently, and how to be subtle about it and patient with you, but I'm the least patient person I know, which, quite frankly, is saying something. So, here it is: I love you. That hasn't changed, and I don't think that it'll ever change. I know that three years have passed, and we've both changed, but... At the same time, we haven't. So, I love you, but I know that I'm not a full blooded turian, and there's a very real chance that you never fully bonded to me, and that you've moved on. And that's okay, because as much as it would break my heart, I know that you... Well, I already told you this three years ago, but you can never have a normal life with me, so I'm just... I'm giving you a free out. You don't have to pretend or lie to spare my feelings. Just, go back to the Citadel and know that I'm not angry or-"

"Blue, wait a minute." He walked over to where she was pacing, gently touching the sides of her arms to hold her still as he noted the tears lacing her not-the-right-colour eyes. "You thought that I never fully bonded with you?" She looked away, giving an awkward half-shrug. He sighed at that, shaking his head a little. He'd spent so long doubting her feelings for him that he'd never stopped to consider that she might doubt his feelings for her. He supposed that the separation had gotten to both of them more than they had realized, as he gently moved his fingers to the bondmark on the side of her neck. "I meant what I said when I marked you, I will always love you. That's never going to change."

Heat flushed over her face as she met his eyes for just a moment, hope radiating from them before she looked down again, sighing. "I feel the same way... I just... Damn it. The last three years have just been... Difficult. Everyone's been turning to me," She explained. "The Council, the Alliance… They've all been turning to me for answers, to try and figure out what to do about the hybrids, and it's all been on me. No parents, no boss, and no partner to talk anything out with..."

She trailed off, pausing momentarily at that, as her heart ached at the memories of their roof-top conversations on the Citadel, before continuing. "I want to say that the responsibility has changed me; made me into the leader everyone seems to expect me to be. But… It hasn't. I'm still just that dumb kid who has no idea who she is or what she's doing…" She sighed, pulling away from him a little as she folded her arms across her chest. She felt tired. "This all just seems completely random, doesn't it? I don't mean to whine on at you, I just… Damn, I was just trying to explain why…"

"It's okay, Blue. I understand." And he did. Turians weren't supposed to live alone; they didn't deal well with isolation. Sarah had people around her, but her secrets had kept her truly isolated from everyone else. Tia had always made it her job to make sure he didn't let the isolation get to him, but it hadn't always worked. His friendship with Sarah had been the first real connection he'd made in years, making her absence even more noticeable. So, he understood completely how isolated and alone she felt.

She would never need him to protect her, never need him to hold her hand, but she needed to know that she wasn't alone. She was too damn quick to shoulder everything by herself in an effort to protect others. It was one of her more infuriating qualities, but also one of the things he loved most about her, though he could see it was taking its toll on her. He knew that she would never share her burden with him until he told her he wanted her to. As much as she would never admit it, she was too selfless for her own good.

Kinder than she wants to be...

"And, I know who you are. You're Sarah," He told her simply, as he stood next to her, stepping closer to her once more. He half expected her to push him away, his heart warming when she instead smiled a little at the memory of him telling her the same thing three years earlier. Before things got complicated. "You're Blue, and anyone can see that hasn't changed. You're still stubborn and hot-headed and kinder than you want to be. A little tired, maybe, but still the same."

She nodded at that, her eyes still not quite meeting his. "Yeah, tired's right. I'm tired of running, Red," She told him, lowly, as she finally met his gaze. "It's been too long and it's just too draining…"

"Yeah… I'm tired of running, too." He shifted closer to her, and he could tell by her expression that she was torn. "But, you're not alone anymore, Blue. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. It'll take more than Cerberus to take me from you again."

Her gaze shifted away again, as she raked her hand through her hair once more. "This is going to sound awful but… Part of me wishes that you had moved on. I… I should have a warning label or something – 'approach with caution or you will get hurt' – because there is no happy ending to this tale. Even if we defeat Cerberus, my life will never be simple. The thought that I will forever be dragging you from danger to danger-"

He cut her off. "Blue, stop. Stop trying to scare me away. I meant what I said; I am tired of running, and I knew all of this when I marked you. I don't do or say things I don't mean, you should know that by now."

A smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. "I do know, it's one of my favourite things about you, I just had to be sure. Because I meant it too. I'm done. I've finally found something worth staying for. Something worth fighting for. Something I know I can't live without. I love you and I always have, I just… I wish that this could be easy."

"Who says it can't be?" He asked as he stepped closer to her, his fingers brushing the strands of red from her plates, revealing them to be scarred along the right side. "I love you, Blue. Scars and all. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that."

She sighed at that, not moving from his touch. "I just wish that you didn't have to give up so much to be with me. Give up a normal life. I feel selfish for even asking for it from you."

"When did you start overthinking things?" He wondered.

She gave a weak smile in response. "It's a bad habit I've picked up lately…"

"Well, don't. Blue, I need you."

She blinked. There was a reason those words were considered more powerful to turians than saying 'I love you'. They hated to show weakness in any way, so to admit that someone held your heart so completely…

In the age-old battle between head and heart, Sarah's heart had finally won out as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him forward as she pressed her lips to his plates, as passionately as she could, given the inter-species differences. He parted his lips a little in response, allowing her tongue access. The kiss was deep and slow, breaking down every last barrier that her fear and anxiety had erected in the past three years, leaving only the simple truth that she had missed him. That she had ached for his presence for three long years. She focused all of her thoughts on communicating to him how much she loved him, how much she had missed him, as the knot of anxiety that she had been carrying around in her stomach all day seemed to unravel, and ignite into a burning desire that spread quickly through her.

I need you, too, she told him through her thoughts, hoping desperately that it would work. She had been shunning her 'gut instinct' ever since she'd begun to realize that it might be something more, but this was different. This was worth it. He stared at her, his eyes wide with disbelief, as she pulled away from the kiss, their breathing a little heavy as she gave him a small, sheepish smile.

"Blue?" He asked softly.

She gave an awkward half-shrug. "It's a long story but… Turns out that the reason why my instincts are so good is because I'm a little bit telepathic," She admitted, causing him to give her a dumb-founded look.

"Wait, you're what? Is that a hybrid thing?"

She shook her head at that. "No, it's a Blood Born thing."

His sub-harmonics trilled with question.

She sighed a little, trying to organize her thoughts into something that would make sense to someone who hadn't been raised in a family where she was the outsider for not being telepathic. "Do you remember what I told you about the Blood Tied? There are also legends about their children, the Blood Born. Every species has latent telepathic abilities, but the Blood Tied are supposed to be able to access them more easily. I never really thought about it because all Blood Born have been krogan since the Blood Tied bond can only be formed between two krogan, or between two members of different species."

She paused, sighing softly. "It's not really a conscious thing but… I do pick up on thoughts and feelings more easily than others. It's just a heightened version of what humans call 'gut instinct'. Stuff that's all normally subconscious. But when I was back home, my mum called in some favours with old friends to help her to hunt down Cerberus, so my aunt Samara was onboard for a while. She helped me figure out that this kind of weak telepathic bond was possible, but… It would require me to completely open myself up to another person…"

She trailed off as he began to understand what she was saying. She always hid behind her secrets. She may not like them, but somewhere along the way they had become her safety net. No one could hurt you if you never let them get close. And yet, here she was, allowing him to see inside her thoughts in the ultimate display of trust. If anything proved that what they once had was salvageable, it was this.

He pulled her close to him once more, his mouth plates brushing her lips in invitation. She kissed him again, becoming quickly overwhelmed by the feeling of love and belonging he was sending her, erasing any doubts that may have lingered in the darker corners of her mind.

This was where she belonged, of that she was sure. He had made it clear that nothing could keep him from her side, not even her own self-doubts, and she knew that the same could be said for her. She would survive this, because she had no intention of leaving him alone ever again.

That a promise?

She was impressed by how quickly he was grasping the telepathy between them, their excited states making communication much easier and clearer than it would be normally. Always... She thought as his hands moved down to stroke her waist, eliciting a low growl from her as he began to tug her jumper over her head, but she stopped him, pulling away to talk aloud.

"Just double checking here, but shouldn't we take this slow? Isn't that normally how these things go?" She asked, a little hesitantly.

To his credit, he pulled away a little to give her room. "Do you want to take things slow?"

"Not even a little."

"Then why-"

She gave a short, nervous laugh. "I don't know. It's a human cultural thing, just ignore me..." She told him dismissively, before her lips were on his mouth plates again.

He pulled away a little, frowning. "Blue, if you're not sure-"

She cut him off, using the contact that still remained between them to convey her feeling of certainty. "I've been living on Earth for the past three years, and human culture tends to take a bit more of a judgey approach to the physical side of relationships than turians do. I swear, half the fucking planet's sexually repressed," She told him, drawing out a smile from him.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you," He murmured as he brought his tongue to her neck, tracing her bondmark, making her weak in the knees.

Then show me, she told him through their bond, before she tugged her jumper over her head, discarding it to reveal the scarred skin beneath, though he didn't seem to be bothered, his gaze drinking in her form, not averting from anything.

Scars and all, he reminded her as he continued to kiss her. She bit back a moan as his hands traveled down from her arms and neck to her waist, his talons drifting across the sensitive skin ever so lightly, sending shivers down her body, straight down between her legs.

"You're very good at that," She told him out loud as she pulled away a little, moving her lips to his neck. Kissing, I mean, she clarified through their bond, causing him to grin a little.

You are an excellent teacher and I am an attentive student, he replied, his hands trailing down to her ass, lifting her onto the edge of the desk, allowing him to stand in front of her, giving him the maneuverability to press himself close to her. The armour he was still wearing was cold against her skin, causing it to rise into little goosebumps as she gasped a little at the stark contrast of the metal to the heat radiating from her skin.

One of her hands moved to his waist, despite the fact that he couldn't feel it through the thick metal of his armour, causing him to give a slight growl of frustration. But he was careful to keep his touch slow, knowing full well that she was too impatient to let him continue at this pace for long.

She moved her other hand to the sensitive spot beneath his fringe, gently teasing so that he had to bite back a growl as his heated gaze drifted over her once more, eventually settling on her left hand, noting more scars. His sub-harmonics trilled with question as his fingers gently traced the pattern there, different to the scorch pattern across her other side.

Lab accident, she explained softly, feeling his understanding through their bond as he moved closer to her, nipping at the side of her neck, causing the growl in her sub-harmonics to deepen as she kept her fingers teasing the sensitive spot beneath his fringe, his own making fast work of removing her skirt as she kicked off her boots.

He slowly started to move down from her neck, the feel of his rough tongue on her exposed skin causing her to bite her lip a little as she moaned, moving herself against the hard metal of his armour, trying to bring some relief to her aching cunt as he continued his torturously slow pace. She tried to convey her frustration to him, but he seemed to be ignoring her in favour of pushing her closer and closer to the edge.

His fingers moved to fumble with her bra, but after a few moments, he simply used his talons to slice through it, causing her to smile at one of the only signs of impatience he ever displayed. To her delight, he began to move his tongue down to her newly freed breasts, slowly circling each of her nipples in turn as they pebbled, showing him just how crazy he was driving her.

She moved her hands to start unfastening his armour, sure that she would find him already hard and waiting, but he covered hers with his own, pinning them to the desk on either side of her as he moved his tongue down further, and her breath hitched in anticipation of what would come next. Her back arched and her body shuddered with pleasure as he moved his tongue lightly across her core after removing her already dampened underwear. She spread her legs wider as he ran his tongue over her a few more times, eventually stopping his teasing to concentrate on her clit as he began to circle it slowly, causing her to moan, her hips bucking a little, silently begging him to keep going.

She arched her back again; her breathing ragged as she suddenly became very aware of the fact that this was her Red. He was finally back with her, and her heart swelled with the knowledge as it seemed to be trying to pull itself from her chest and bring her closer to him, accentuating the pleasure coursing through her as she felt an orgasm build, wiping all coherent thought from her mind as she eventually came, crying out his name.

He paused for a few moments as he felt the ghost of her pleasure through their bond, before he started nipping at her once more, moving back up to her neck, running his tongue along her bondmark as she waited a few moments for rational thought to return. As soon as it did, she quickly moved her nimble fingers across his remaining armour, stripping him down to his undersuit in record time, before sliding off the desk herself and pushing him back to the spot where she had been.

Your turn, she thought, grinning, as she kissed along his neck, her hands helping him out of his undersuit. It didn't take long for his state of undress to match her own, and she was careful to repeat his movements almost exactly as she ran her tongue along the sensitive skin beneath his plates, her fingers gently trailing along his plates, noting the small differences. She was sure he'd gotten taller and a little broader, her light touch finding a multitude of small scars that she was sure hadn't been there before. She let her sub-harmonics trill with question, imitating him once more.

Battle scars, he explained. She nodded in understanding as she continued to move her tongue down, over the sensitive skin of his waist, slowly making her way down to his cock, which was already unsheathed and rock hard. As soon as she ran her tongue along his hard length she felt him shudder beneath her, as his sub-harmonics began to growl with red hot lust that had her cunt aching for attention once more.

She ran her tongue up and down his member a few more times before she took him into her mouth, being extremely careful with her teeth, knowing that as much as they weren't as sharp as a turian's, they still weren't as blunt as their human counterparts. His growl deepened, sounding with a moan in his primary vocalizations that made her sub-harmonics growl in response as she felt the slickness grow between her thighs, moving her fingers between her folds in an effort to relieve some of the need that once more reminded her of just how long it had been.

"Blue..." Tiberius gasped as she moaned once more, pulling her away from him ever so slightly, giving her the clear message that he desperately wanted to be inside of her. As soon as she stood up, he was on her again, and suddenly found his body pressed up against hers as he moved faster than she could track, his hands moving to tease the sensitive skin on her waist as she moaned with delight at his apparent impatience for her. She found herself once more backed up to the edge of the desk where she lifted herself up, hooking her legs around his narrow waist as he entered her.

Despite their impatience, he moved slowly, making her wonder if he was concerned about hurting her as she wrapped her arms around his torso, moving up to tease the spot beneath his fringe. Her question was quickly answered, though, as he nuzzled his face to her neck, allowing himself to be enveloped in her scent. She could feel through their bond that he was reminding himself this was real, that she was here. She pulled her head back from his before pressing their foreheads together, hoping to convey everything she was feeling back at him as her eyes locked with his.

At that, she rolled her hips against his, quickly establishing a rather rough pace. It had been far too long for both of them. He quickly began to move in unison with her, matching her pace exactly as he slid his thick length in and out of her, loving the feeling of her muscles around him as her breath became irregular beneath the sound of her moaning his name. It was the most erotic thing he had ever heard, and coupled with the feel of her tightening around him as he drove her closer and closer to her climax, it brought him ever nearer to the edge of his own release.

Tiberius quickened his pace, rapidly bringing her to the brink of orgasm as his hard length pumped in and out of her, the ridge of his groinal plating hitting her sensitive nub on every stroke. It wasn't long before her body was wracked with pleasure as she came around him, dragging him with her as he spilled inside of her.

This time, she was the one nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck, looking for confirmation that he was real, that he wouldn't fade or slip away from her. She couldn't smell his scent as strongly as he could smell hers, but it was enough to put her at ease. It had been three very long years, but now that she had him back, she had no intention of going anywhere else, ever again.

"Blue... I love you," He told her out loud once more; making sure that nothing was left unsaid, as she moved her head back up from his neck, pressing her forehead to his gently.

"I love you too, Red," She replied softly, her sub-harmonics trilling with contentment as she was filled with a feeling of belonging and safety that had eluded her for over six years. Maybe she couldn't go back, couldn't reverse time to before she had been ripped from him by circumstance, but maybe that was okay. The prospect of forward no longer looked so terrible to her. The landscape of her future was no longer so bleak.

"When was the last time you slept?" He asked her gently, noting the dark circles under her eyes as he felt her exhaustion through her bond, his talons running tentatively through her hair.

She shrugged in response. "I don't sleep. Not really. When I get too exhausted, I often pass out at my desk. I think the last time was before you arrived here," She admitted.

His sub-harmonics trilled with understanding. "Same. I think we could both use some rest."

She nodded in reply. "Yeah. Some rest would be nice..."

"So this is what you meant,

When you said that you were spent,

And now it's time to build from the bottom of the pit,

Right to the top,

Don't hold back,

Packing my bags and giving the academy a rain check.

I don't ever want to let you down,

I don't ever want to leave this town,

'Cause after all,

This city never sleeps at night.

It's time to begin, isn't it?

I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit,

I'm just the same as I was,

Now don't you understand,

That I'm never changing who I am..."

Sarah groaned as her omni-tool blared at her, signaling that it was morning already. She went to pull her blanket up to ward away the cold morning air, when she felt a warm three-fingered hand move across her side, and a newly-familiar form nuzzled into her neck, causing her to smile despite the unholy hour as she received proof that her memories of the night before were entirely accurate.

"Sorry, I'm usually woken by nightmares before this thing goes off..." She muttered as she turned to face him, a blush forming across her cheeks at their closeness. She wondered if her insides would ever stop fluttering at the thought of him being hers.

"I was already up, anyway," He told her.

She smiled as she realized that the connection between their minds was still open as his talons traced the edges of the scars that trailed down her right side. "You're worrying." She observed, her voice soft, as he sighed a little before letting his sub-harmonics trill with reassurance.

"It's nothing."

She wondered at that, their connection not strong enough to let her know if he was lying or not. She was only getting the impressions of emotions, meaning that all she could tell was that he was reveling in the moment as much as she was, neither of them wanting to return to the harsh realities of the world beyond her small cot.

Not that she wasn't still keeping things from him too, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't tell him.

The worst part of working on the Corpalis trials had been the bondmates. When they'd brought their bonded into the labs for treatment, she'd seen the look in their eyes, heard the pain in their sub-harmonics as they watched the person they loved slowly slip away from them...

She couldn't watch Red go through that. Not for her. Her chances of figuring out how to stabilize herself were good, she figured. She just couldn't bear to cause him any pain over something that may never happen. And in the end, even if she couldn't stabilize herself, she had no intention of dying the slow, painful death she had seen the other hybrids endure. The slow rotting of the major organs, coupled with brain damage that would accumulate over time until her body just gave up...

She'd rather put a bullet between her eyes and be done with it.

She noticed him tense up momentarily, and froze as she wondered if he'd picked up on any of her thoughts through their newly-formed bond, but his sub-harmonics continued to trill with adoration, echoing her own, not missing a beat.

He knew that she was keeping something from him. He'd managed to pick up on that much the night before. He was about to ask her about the things she was keeping hidden, but he knew, from the overwhelming feeling of guilt and sorrow that accompanied the question she sensed in his mind, that she didn't want to keep it hidden.

"You know that you never have to lie to me," He told her softly. She had nodded in reply, moving a little closer to him as he noted the pain in her eyes.

"I know but I'm lying for me. Can you just… Let me do that? Please?"

He nodded in response, knowing that she was trying to protect him from something but he could sense that there was more to it than that. Something she was hiding from. "Does it hurt?" He asked, referring to the missing section of skin that revealed the charred plates of her right shoulder beneath it, in an effort to change the subject.

"No. The nerve endings were in the skin which isn't there anymore so I can't really feel much of anything there," She admitted as he pulled her closer. She had explained that their bond would only work with direct contact, much like asari melding, so he was quick to draw her to him to use it to convey the reassurance that was sounding in his sub-harmonics.

"I just want to stay here forever…" She told him softly.

He smiled at her. "Yeah. Me too."

She frowned as his gaze stayed on her scars. "I know they look bad," She told him. "I've had three years to get used to the scars, but I know how shocking they look. Even after three years of healing..."

"The scars don't bother me. They're proof of everything that you've survived. They show that you're a fighter. It's just... They're also a reminder that I almost lost you."

She shifted a little at that, guiltily, although she sensed that there was something more to his comment. "What? What is it?" She asked softly.

He sighed a little as he tried to figure out how to word his reply, though he needn't have bothered as she could sense his intent. "At the risk of sounding like an overprotective bondmate... Yesterday, when you ran off, it worried me a little. I know that you can take care of yourself, but... Cerberus is still in the area, and... I guess I just would have felt a little better if I had been at your six."

She nodded at that, their connection helping her to understand how he felt. "I know, I get it. It... It was possibly one of my more reckless moves but I had something that I had to do."

"Blue, I'm here now. So please, talk to me. Just like you used to."

She understood exactly what he meant. Whenever either of them had had a problem, they had turned to the other. She couldn't deny that she had missed that over the past three years. "I may have... Given Cee the genetic resequencing codes for her and Damien," She admitted sheepishly.

"Why are you expecting me to disagree?" He asked, causing her to frown a little, her sub-harmonics trilling with the uncertainty that he could feel coming from her.

"Because... I don't know. Everyone's been arguing about whether or not the hybrids are 'ethical' and I just went ahead and ignored them all."

"Blue, I think we can safely say that your opinion is the only one with any weight in this."

She gave him an incredulous look at that, her sub-harmonics trilling with disbelieving humour. "You know how ridiculous that sounds, right?"

At that he shifted closer to her, lowering his forehead to hers. "You made the right choice, ani," He muttered, the contact of their plates only enhancing their newly-formed connection, allowing him to share his reasoning using her own expert knowledge of xeno-biology.

Finding your bondmate triggered the same behaviours and instincts that hitting the matron stage did for asari. Of course, some turians ignored them, but the feeling of wanting to settle down and start a family were persistent, only increasing with age. Cee was a few years older than Sarah, and she'd always wanted children of her own. As far as Tiberius was concerned, Sarah had done the right thing for her friend. He figured that it would be difficult for anyone to argue against that.

"Some people will still try," She pointed out.

He couldn't help but agree as the memory of the ass of a doctor who had insulted her the day before filled both of their minds. "Yeah, well, screw 'em."

She laughed a little at that, shaking her head a little.,"I think my attitude has rubbed off on you," She joked, before taking a deep breath as her features took on a more serious look. "But... Maybe I shouldn't be making these decisions. Maybe it's too personal."

"You think that you only helped her because she's your friend?" He asked, following her train of thought. "Blue, we both know that you'd have helped her no matter who she was."

She sighed in response. "It's not just that, Red. I'm... I'm the first of my kind. Is it so bad that I don't want to be the last?" She asked him, honestly searching for an answer, so that he could see the internal struggle she'd been faced with ever since she'd started her work. It had never really been a question of what would happen if she didn't succeed; it was a question of what would happen if she did. She had struggled to find her place in the galaxy, and was still struggling; though having him there did make her burden easier to bear.

"No. It's completely understandable," He told her. She smiled, her sub-harmonics trilling with the gratitude that she was sending him through their bond. "I don't know if I'll ever get used to this..."

"Sorry... I should have probably asked before I tried to make the connection..." She stammered a little.

He shook his head at her jumping to apologize, just like always, smiling at her. "No, I mean it in a good way. This feels normal. Right."

She raised a browplate at that. "The semi-telepathic connection to your hybrid bondmate seems normal to you?"

"Weirdly, yeah."

"Yeah... Me too..."

AN - Additional: Is it weirdly perfect that this fell on Chapter Seventeen, just like in SYA? ^^