AN: Another chapter now that exams are out of the way. Yay!

Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.

Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!

Hope you enjoy!

Chapter Eighteen - Nightmares

Sarah sighed, taking her glasses off to rub her tired eyes, as she leant back in her desk chair, surveying her small office. There was no two ways around it; the place was a mess. In her defense, it was her only living space and she'd never before had to worry about anyone but Nat seeing the barely organised chaos.

However, slowly over the past week, it had also become Tiberius's space as well - mostly because there was just enough space for everyone to stay in the Alliance facility during lockdown. Not that she minded - quite the opposite, in fact, she was more than happy to spend as much time with him as possible - but it was bringing to light some of the bad habits she had acquired over three years of being a workaholic loner.

She frowned a little as her mind drifted to her love, bringing a rather alarming realisation to the forefront of her mind.

She couldn't sense him.

For the first time in over a week, she had absolutely no sense of him. She had never expected that their bond would be as strong as it was, although it still wasn't anything more than a vague sense when they weren't close, but now the absence was more than a little alarming to her.

She quickly got up from her desk and headed out of the office, careful not to seem too panicked, well aware that there was probably a reasonable explanation for his apparent disappearance. She would readily admit that she had very little knowledge of how her 'ability' worked. As far as she knew, the problem could very probably be on her end.

Her thoughts immediately stopped in their tracks as she opened her office door, only to find that she was no longer in the Alliance facility, but, rather, a crowded nightclub. She would have been confused if she wasn't being overwhelmed by an all-too-familiar panic.

"That's her!"

"The freak!"

"Get her!"

She suddenly found herself completely helpless as angry hands grasped at her from every direction, tearing both cloth and flesh in a desperate attempt to get her.

In her terror, she became frozen, unable to fight her way out or activate her biotics.

"Blue?"

She spun around, trying to find the source of the faint voice in the depths of harsh screams. However, her search was cut short as two strong arms wrapped around her. She turned to find that they belonged to her bondmate, the sight of him silencing everything else around them.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here. I've got you," He murmured softly as he moved his hand gently to her cheek.

She nodded in response as the world faded around them.

Tiberius hated guard duty.

Cerberus had been quiet since their last attack. It had seemed to be more of an opportunist attempt than anything else so, with no one leaving the facility, they hadn't attacked again.

He had mostly been spending his time with Tia and Philip trying to figure out where their base of operations was on Earth. But all three of them had been volunteered to help out with general security.

Which meant hours on his own.

When they said that you're not supposed to separate bondmates, they weren't kidding, he thought as he began to feel himself become agitated. He let a small growl of impatience slip, wishing that his body would simply settle down already. But he knew that wasn't likely. At least, not anytime soon.

"What's bothering you?" Philip asked as he snuck up behind the turian..

Tiberius shook his head. "Nothing. Just... Tired."

"Ah. So, after three years your body is finally rediscovering sleep?"

"Something like that," He replied as Philip sat next to him.

"So, where's Sarah? Or Azula or whatever. You know what? Fuck it. I'm just gonna call her Rookie."

Tiberius simply shook his head before replying. "She's sleeping."

"So, you're not sleeping as well because..." He trailed off, causing Tiberius to sigh in response.

"Because I'm on guard duty," He said, as if it were obvious, but Philip simply rolled his eyes in response.

"We both know that me or Tia would cover for you. So, what's the real reason?"

He looked a little sheepish at that. "It's erm... Overwhelming. Having her back after three years, I mean."

"Overwhelming? How?"

"Just... There's a reason why bondmates never separate for more than a few months at a time."

Philip just frowned at that. "That sounds like a reason why you'd be spending more time with her, not less."

Tiberius sighed, trying to figure out how to explain it. "Exactly. Just... I don't know how badly she's feeling the effects and if she's not as bad... I don't want to be too clingy, you know?"

"No. I don't. Smiley, it doesn't matter whether or not she's having as strong a... biological response as you. You were the first real friend she made outside of her family since Harry. She's missed you, bondmates or no, and she's going to want to spend as much time with you as possible."

Tiberius gave his friend a quizzical look. "There's no way you pieced this together yourself."

Philip just shrugged. "Tia's been worried about both of you," He reasoned. "Look, I won't pretend to know anything about this bondmate thing but Tia says that you're both going to be hit by three years of... 'nesting instincts', I think she said. I don't know. I tuned out after she started babbling about the evolution of social behaviours in different species. All I remember is that it has something to do with why you guys are shit at lying. Well, apart from you. You seem to be the exception to the rule. Anyway, she's worried about you guys. She says that separating for so long has probably fucked you both up more than a little."

Tiberius scowled a little at that. "I'm not good at lying."

Philip help his hands up at the offended tone in his friend's voice. "Woah! Chill out. I didn't mean anything by it. Just, you can't tell what you're thinking unless you say it. Most turians tend to wear their heart on their sleeves a bit more."

"Sorry. Just... Lying is considered a bit of a negative skill by turians."

"Yeah, humans too. Just, not as much, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Philip nodded before frowning a little, returning to the original topic of conversation. "You know that she'd understand, right? In fact, she's probably wondering why you're not spending more time with her."

"I know. But she knows as well. Neither of us are particularly good at relying on other people. I'm trying to spend time away from her to prove that I can."

Philip frowned a little at that.

"What?" Tiberius asked.

"Nothing... Just reminds me of something Rookie said a little while back about... Something else."

Tiberius narrowed his eyes, knowing that his friend was skirting around something, before simply sighing. "I know she's hiding something," He admitted, his voice low. "She's told me as much herself. But then, if she wasn't, she wouldn't be Sarah."

Philip looked a little conflicted, as if unsure of whether or not he should say anything. "I think she just doesn't want to worry you," He finally settled on saying, prompting his friend to nod.

"I know. Philip, this is Sarah we're talking about. She's easier to read than an open book at times."

"So then, why are you still so unsure about her?"

Tiberius simply sighed at that. "Because we've been separated for three years. The... issues that caused aren't just going to go away. But, you're right. I think I'll-"

Philip frowned as his friend suddenly froze, his head whipping around. "Smiley, what is it?"

Tiberius stood up at that, making his way towards Sarah's office. "I, erm... Nothing."

Philip frowned as he watched his friend practically run out of the room.

"Well, that was weird..." Tia said as she appeared out of thin air next to him.

"Jesus, Tia!" Philip exclaimed. "Remember that conversation we had about boundaries? This counts."

She folded her arms at that. "Spoilsport."

"Seriously, Tia. It's not cool to spy on people when they're having private conversations. In fact, if there are no enemies around, just assume that you shouldn't be using your tactical cloak."

She shot hit a cheeky grin at that. "Really? Because I don't remember there being any enemies around last night..."

He groaned a little at that. "Seriously, why were you spying on us? I doubt you were simply curious about what guys talk about."

"I'm worried about those two," She reasoned before frowning. "But, here's a question: what made him run off so suddenly?"

"No idea. Probably just remembered that his girlfriend is nearby and available for sex."

"Bondmate," She corrected.

"What's the difference?"

"Bondmate is actually more like 'wife'."

Philip just rolled his eyes at that, shaking his head. "Fucking turians, man. You know what? I give up. I am done trying to understand those two and their weird relationship..."

Tiberius followed the feeling of terror to Sarah's office, opening the door to find her thrashing in her cot, her biotics sending datapads flying across the room. He quickly made his way over to her, ignoring the sting of blue energy. She seemed to be expelling the energy at random, the lack of focus making it less powerful than when she used them in battle.

He trilled reassurance through his subharmonics, hoping that it would be enough to calm her down, but she only seemed to settle mildly, still tossing and turning. At that, he instead focused on their telepathic link, hoping to reach her without her waking violently. He knew first hand that she had a tendency to throw punches when thrown off guard.

He still wasn't used to the telepathic link, especially since Sarah was the one with the ability, not him. It didn't feel as strange to him as he thought it would, but he still had no idea what he was doing.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here. I've got you," He said aloud, hoping to convey the sentiment behind the words to her through their bond as he gently stroked her cheek.

After a few moments she settled down, becoming still, although she kept frowning, a tear falling from her scrunched up eyes. Before he could figure out how to respond, she shot up, into his arms, gasping for breath.

"Red?" She finally managed.

He let his subharmonics trill with affirmation. "I'm here."

She nodded before pulling away, wiping her eyes. "Damn it," She muttered before glaring at him. "I wasn't crying."

"I never said that you were," He told her, although he let his subharmonics trill with humour.

She growled back at him. "I wasn't! Human eyes water all the time. Why did I end up with all the go se human genes..."

He quirked his browplate at that, detecting more venom behind her words than she had meant. Something was definitely bothering her. Something she wasn't telling him. So, he simply wrapped his arms around her, catching her off-guard. He could feel her momentary uncertainty before she hugged him back, her subharmonics trilling with thanks.

"I really need to get a translator upgrade. I can't understand half of the profanity you use... And I know you weren't crying," He lied, causing her to snort a little.

"No, you knew I was and now you're just trying to placate me. I just... It's easier to be angry," She admitted. "But it's not as if I can be angry at my dreams..."

He frowned a little as he realised exactly who her anger was directed at. "You can't be angry with yourself, either."

She shook her head at that, pulling away from him. She avoided his gaze as she quickly changed out of her shorts and into some jeans, leaving her vest, but her subharmonics sent him a very clear signal.

Just watch me.

"I've gotta go," She said, kissing him lightly on the side of his mandible before quickly grabbing her brush, pulling her fringe down over her plates.

"Blue..." He started but she cut him off.

"Red. We'll talk about it later, okay? I promise. I just... There are a couple of things I've been putting off for the past week and I think the stress was what caused the nightmare."

He folded his arms at that. "Would these things happen to be incredibly dangerous?"

She gave him a sheepish shrug. "Not exactly. Not in the short-run, at least. More like... Risky. But don't worry, I know what I'm doing."

He sighed at that. "Any plans of actually telling me what you're doing?"

She shook her head as she headed out of the room. "No. Sorry. No time. I promise I'll tell you later, okay?"

She headed out of earshot before he could reply.

Sarah tried to not feel guilty about running out on Red as she made herself some coffee but she couldn't help it.

She was angry with herself. She couldn't not be. She wasn't necessarily with herself, per se, but she was finding her flaws even more infuriating than normal. Now she had a future to live for, but a very good reason why she might not get to.

She was determined to move on and simply live her life, however long she may have left of it, but it was difficult at that moment. She would occasionally find herself daydreaming of the future, only to be brought crashing back to reality. It wasn't exactly a pleasant feeling. But she was determined to get over it. If there was one thing she could do, it was push through the crap.

And, even if she couldn't do it for herself, she would pull herself together for him. He had enough of his own crap to deal with without having to deal with hers as well.

"If you're making coffee, I could use a cup."

Sarah jumped at the sound of Nat's voice behind her, pulling her from her thoughts. "Right," She replied, distractedly. "I, erm, was actually going to come and speak with you. There are a few things I need to bring you in on."

"Like why you're friends with three C-Sec officers, despite having never mentioned living on the Citadel? And the fact that you have a bondmate? A bondmate who was very quick to defend the Original Hybrid last week." She gave Sarah a pointed look that the younger woman couldn't help but squirm under.

"Mierda..." She settled for saying, causing Nat to shake her head as she rolled her eyes.

"Once I figured it out, it was kind of obvious."

"Yeah, yeah. I can't keep secrets, I get it."

Nat moved closer to her at that, concern clear on her face. "It does explain some things. Why you're so reluctant to take action against the Cerberus hybrids; why you were so determined to help Cee; why you were so upset when we ran the projections of how long Sarah would have lived, had Cerberus not killed her..."

Sarah looked away at that. She didn't want Nat to pity her but she was sure that if she looked up, pity would be all that she would see

Nat didn't say anything more. She simply passed Sarah a datapad. The younger woman gave her a confused look, to which she simply replied with a reassuring smile.

"This is just some preliminary work. I can't promise anything but... It looks good."

Sarah didn't bother to hide her disbelief at just how positive the data looked.

"I'm surprised you haven't done this yourself. It took me all week but I can't imagine a better reason for a week off from our other work."

Sarah gave a sheepish shrug at that. "I've been busy..."

Nat rolled her eyes once more. "You're terrible at looking after yourself. You're too busy worrying about others. So, how about you worry about the Cerberus hybrids and I worry about you?"

Sarah gave her a grateful smile. "Sounds fair but... Do you really think it's possible to get something useful within a year?"

Nat sighed. "I don't know. But it's not impossible, so it's already got a leg up on most of the projects you've taken up in the last three years."

"People use the word 'impossible' far too frequently..." Sarah mused, her smile widening.

"Does your bondmate know?" Nat asked softly, halting Sarah's smile.

"That I'm a hybrid? I should hope so. I mean, he's seen me naked enough times. Although he was rather distracted at the time..."

"Zu, you know that's not what I meant."

Sarah sighed, folding her arms. "I know... And, no, he doesn't. You saw... One the Corpalis trials, you saw what the bonded were like. I can't do that to him. I won't."

"Zu, you're so busy looking out for everyone else, I worry about who looks out for you."

"Everyone and no one. And, yes, it's as confusing as it sounds but I'm used to it."

"Just because you're used to being alone, doesn't mean that you should be," Nat pointed out, causing Sarah to nod.

"I know. I'm working on it. Promise. But, right now, I have to go and update the Council."

"You mean you haven't already? Zu, it's been a week."

"Hey, I'm a scientist, not a politician. Although I somehow doubt that it's going to stay that way..."

Sarah couldn't help but wonder if her parents had ever gotten a 'stunned silence' out of the Council. She made a note to ask them at some point as she regarded the holograms in front of her, waiting for them to say something. She wasn't all that surprised when it was the human councillor who spoke up first.

"Dr Mizuiro-"

"Councillor, there's no need for pretense, please. It's Shepard-Vakarian." She decided it was probably a good idea to remind them of why her opinion was 'the only one with any weight in this', as Red had said. But, then again, he wasn't a politician either.

"Dr Shepard-Vakarian," He corrected, reminding Sarah why she missed his predecessor so much. She, at least, had been understanding towards Sarah's cause, if not enough to take any action. "Are you trying to tell us that you intend to give this information to anyone who wants it?"

"Actually, I'm trying to tell you that I already have. And that I plan to again. If people want this, I don't think that it's within our rights to withhold it." She was careful to not let anger mar her words, instead trying to convey the emotion behind her words. But the councillors weren't ones to be swayed by such things.

"If this information gets out, what's to stop organisations like Cerberus from using it?" The human Councillor continued.

"Why would they? They're using the idea of a 'cure' to ensure the loyalty of the hybrids. If there was no need for one, why would the hybrids continue to do their bidding?"

The human councillor simply shook his head at that. "Do you really believe that? If you do, then you're more naive than I thought."

The turian councillor nodded in agreement. "It is a security threat, Doctor."

Sarah had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at that. Of course, this would be the one thing that they would both agree on. "As I've said, it's a moot point. It's already done. And, as I'm sure Executor Vakarian has told you, the team here is working to locate the Cerberus presence on Earth. I have every confidence that the threat they pose will be dealt with soon. I'm sure that some of you would wish the hybrid issue to be put to rest at that point however, and I'm sorry to have to tell you this but, as long as I'm still standing, it's still an issue. I don't plan on staying hidden away for your convenience once this direct threat is over."

The asari councillor stepped in, giving her a reassuring smile that, really, had little warmth to it. "Doctor, I have complete sympathy with your cause, however you must understand the position we are in."

Sarah once more found herself putting effort into not getting angry with the Council. She knew that the asari and human councillors in particular had a tendency to view her as little more than a child. Her Aunt Bakara had once told her that it was not age that made someone wise, it was experience and pain. Sarah figured that she had enough of both to last three lifetimes.

"No offence, councillor, but you don't. It doesn't matter if the love of your life is turian, human or even hanar, you will never be faced with an inability to have children. So, I don't believe that you can understand. You're too busy looking at the big picture to see the little ones..."

The quarian councillor was the next to step forward, for which Sarah was grateful. Despite the fact that she was half-human and half-turian, the quarian and krogan councillors had been her greatest supporters by far on the Council. Perhaps the greatest indicator that that would have been the case should have been that she was not recognised as either a citizen of the Human Alliance or Turian Hierarchy and, yet, was recognised as both an honorary krogan and quarian. It certainly did nothing to help her identity issues...

"Well, I, for one, understand perfectly. And, I have to say, I would actually be grateful for a better look at her data and I have no issue with her sharing it with others in a similar position."

At that, Sarah's eyes drifted down to the human wedding ring on the quarian's finger, surprising her a little. She couldn't help but give a warm smile. "The data needs to be adapted for each case but if you send me the genetic codes for you and your husband, I'd be more than happy to take a look."

"I think I'll take you up on that."

Sarah tried her hardest not to laugh at the outraged look on the turian councillor's face coupled with the way the human councillor was gritting his teeth.

"Please, can we remain objective here?" The asari councillor interjected, before turning to her salarian counterpart. "What do you think, Daelon?"

"I agree that we should not remain ignorant of the hybrids but I also think that creating more hybrids at this juncture is a bad idea."

Sarah once more prevented herself from rolling her eyes. How could the Council be so opposed to taking action? Although, if her parents' stories were to be believed, this wasn't new behaviour.

"I disagree." This time, it was the krogan councillor who stepped forward. "The Blood Born is correct. Anyone can see that the hybrids are not inherently evil. Cerberus has simply been twisting their minds, as they have tried to do with many others over the years."

Sarah once more had to stifle a smile as both the turian and human councillors seemed to be fuming. She wondered why they were so opposed to the idea of the hybrids. Maybe they were just scared of change.

Idiots.

"Well, you have the data now and you know my argument. I'm going to continue working against Cerberus, you have my word on that, but I refuse to keep his information from people who want it. Unfortunately, I'm just not that heartless..."

She shut off the connection at that. She knew that the majority was not on her side, but she hoped that would change with time. She wouldn't claim to know the first thing about politics but she supposed that she would have to learn. It was damn clear that if the hybrids were to have any chance, someone would have to speak up for them.

And she was fairly certain that job would fall to her...

To say that Sarah had found the meeting with the council tiring, would be an understatement. She knew that she would simply have to get used to it, but it didn't make the politics any easier.

Before she knew it, she had headed straight towards the security offices. She wanted Red nearby and, for once, she wasn't going to try and deny it.

"Fuck Rookie, what attacked you?"

She turned to see Philip leaning against the wall of the corridor, regarding the various plasters on her inner arms and the back of her hands. "I brought Nat in on the whole 'I'm a hybrid' thing and she took some blood for... Well, you know. Turns out it's kind of hard to get blood from a hybrid that's terrified of needles."

He raised his eyebrow at that. "You're scared of needles?"

"Shut up..." She muttered, shaking her head. "I just don't like sharp and pointy, okay?"

"But you're dating a turian."

"Yeah, last time I checked, Red wasn't covered in needles."

"No, but he's... Well, turians are kind of pointy."

Sarah failed to hold back a laugh at that. "I still can't believe you haven't caused a diplomatic incident..."

"Hey, there's still time," He joked back before his expression became decidedly more sober. "Why haven't you told Smiley?"

She shifted guiltily as she realised what he meant. "I just... I can't. You've seen how happy he is. How happy we both are. I can't ruin that. I won't."

He frowned at her. "Don't you think he deserves to know?"

She shrugged. "He deserves to have a normal bondmate who can live out the rest of his days with him and give him a family. I'm making the best of a really shitty situation."

He sighed at that. "Rookie, what are your chances of figuring out a cure? No bullshitting."

She gave it a moment of thought before responding. "I don't know. It looks good, especially with Nat helping, but I can't make any promises," She admitted.

"And what about when you get worse? I found your data and I understood enough to get the gist. You have six months before you start to show symptoms and twelve before the damage become irreversible. In eighteen..." He trailed off but she nodded in understanding.

"In eighteen, none of this will matter anyway. Look, I'll blow up that bridge and cover the bodies in lime when we get to it. For now, it's not a problem. Just... We both need normal right now, you know?"

He sighed. "I just don't think you should keep secrets."

"I agree with you there. Trust me, I'm tired of it."

He nodded. "I understand why you're not telling him just... Talk to Tia about it, at least? I'm know I'm no good at this shit and I'd hate to think that you're shouldering this all by yourself."

She shook her head at that. "No... I don't want to tell everyone but Red. That's not fair to him."

He frowned at her. "But you told me."

She shrugged. "Yeah but that was back when I had every intention of telling him," She reasoned, causing him to sigh.

"You know that this is going to bite you in the ass, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I know," She said as he gave her a sympathetic look.

"Alright then. Just as long as you know what you're getting yourself into..."

Sarah gave him a weak smile as Tia and Tiberius approached.

"Hey," He said as he moved to stand next to her, clearly uncertain about how he should be acting in public.

Sarah decided to halt his uncertainty by taking a hold of his hand, leaning against him a little. Reminding herself that she had something solid and real to fight for as she battled her tiredness.

"Hey," She replied. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah. Of course."

At that, she lead him back to her office before shutting the door. He sat down next to her on her cot as she rested her head on the cowl of his armour, ignoring the uncomfortable jab of metal to her cheek.

"Blue?" He asked.

She mumbled a little in reply, causing his sub-harmonics to trill back with question. "Give me a minute. I'm comfy," She repeated, more clearly.

He rolled his eyes before wrapping his arm around her side. "I don't see how you can be. Isn't my armour hurting you?"

"Yeah, but I really do need to talk with you. I figured getting you naked would only distract me."

"You know, I do own civies."

"I know, but they're just as distracting. At least with your armour, my laziness counterbalances my libido."

"Really? Maybe I should start wearing less armour..." He joked, causing her to grin at him. He grinned back, to which she tilted her head a little, her adoring eyes seemingly tracing his features. "What?" He asked, feeling a little self-conscious.

"Nothing. Just... You smile more now. It's... Odd. But nice. I like it when you smile. You only do it when you mean it... Okay, I'll just... Stop talking now..." She trailed off, sheepishly, her face flushing a light purple, causing his smile to widen further.

"I blame all of this extra smiling on you, you know. You're messing up my brooding, dangerous vibe."

"Yeah, Philip mentioned something about you being known as the Demon of C-Sec," She teased but his gaze quickly shifted to the floor. "What? What is it?"

"What exactly do you know about what happened when... When you left?" He asked, hesitantly.

"Philip told me about the time he and Tia had to lock you in your apartment."

"Did he tell you why?"

"He said that... Well, that you were drinking a lot..." She trailed off but he simply sighed, shaking his head.

"I should have known Philip would have told you the official story..."

She frowned at that. "The 'official story'? So, what really happened was worse?"

"I wasn't drunk that night. I was... Concussed."

Sarah's browplates flew up at that. "Tell me what happened." She kept her voice as soft as possible, wanting to be there for him as much as he had been for her.

"I, erm... Well, I wasn't working at the time."

Sarah nodded. "Philip said that Aunt Sol had given you some time off."

"More like I was suspended... I took kind of a 'shoot first, ask questions later' attitude to my work. I would pick fights whenever I saw the opportunity and I was harsher towards everyone... Eventually the executor told me to take some time to get my head on straight again. I simply looked for fights elsewhere... Tia and Philip covered for me, making sure I could never be held accountable or arrested but... I think I scared them. Tia, especially. And then when I got really hurt... I guess it was the wake-up call I needed."

Sarah was a little stunned at his revelations, although it did make much more sense to her than Philip's story had. "I'm so sorry," She managed to whisper, causing him to shake his head at her.

"It's not your fault, Blue. I've built up a lot of anger over the years, it was bound to come back and bite me eventually. I just... I don't know. It was years ago, now. Something I'd just rather put behind me. I just thought that you should know... Because, this morning, when I said that you can't be angry with yourself, I meant it. Just because your rage isn't directed at other people, doesn't mean that it can't still do harm."

She looked away at that, guiltily. "I, erm... I spoke to the Council today."

He shifted to sit upright at that, allowing the change of subject. "What did they say?"

"The usual bull. I was right about them not being happy about the idea of more hybrids but I don't think they plan on killing me or anything. At least, not yet." Her joke had little humour to it.

"You're not going to back down." It wasn't a question, merely an observation, but she shook her head anyway.

"No, I'm not. It's just..." She trailed off before activating her omni-tool, bringing up an extranet page. "Here, look at this. These are all people who are involved with someone of a different species. I'm wondering who speaks for them. I know that the quarian councillor has a human husband but... The general opinion on hybrids is still negative, thanks to Cerberus. But I think that I can change that."

He simply regarded her for a few moments before sighing, tugging on her wrist so that she sat back next to him before he pulled her up so that she was straddling his waist. He rested one hand on the side of her hip, the other tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as he tried to figure out how to word his response. "So, how are we going to do this?"

She cocked her head to the side a little at that. "That's it? No objections about how dangerous this is going to be or anything?"

He sighed, his hand softly tracing her jaw. "No. Blue, I've seen you charge a krogan before, remember? I may forget at times, but I know that you can handle yourself. So, I'm here if you need me, but I'm not going to get all 'overprotective bondmate' on you. I know what it's like to have someone worry about you and to feel restricted by that... I don't want you to worry about worrying me."

She pressed her fringe plates to his at that, letting her subharmonics chime with the gratitude that was radiating from her.

"Even if it means that you have to keep secrets from me," He added softly, causing her breath to catch in her throat as her eyes scanned his own, looking for a hint of doubt.

"I was planning on telling you, actually. I kind of got guilted into it and... I don't want to break this. Whatever we've managed to salvage and build upon. I don't want to be the reason it fails."

"Blue, I understand why you're keeping it from me. So, if you don't want to face it, I won't force you. Sometimes hiding from something is the only option we have..."

"What about bravely facing it head-on?"

"Sometimes that does more damage than good..."

"You really don't mind if I don't tell you?"

"Blue, I promise, it's okay."

Something about his words sounded familiar, ringing alarm bells in her mind. When had she heard him say something similar?

"Now, what are your thoughts on the hybrid PR issue?"

She pulled herself from her thoughts, frowning a little at his words as she thought it over. She ran her nails lightly over the sensitive spot beneath his fringe, just to keep her hands busy, causing him to shudder a little next to her as she grinned a little. "I guess it's an issue of perspective. I know that the hybrids are a bit of a media shit-storm but... Some people are horrified by them. By me, even, not just the Cerberus ones. And I just don't get it. I mean, clearly I'm not horrified by myself but even the Cerberus Hybrids... I know how others see them but I can't feel anything but pity for them. I know that I'm just lacking an outside perspective so I'm wondering how you see me. Am I a turian with more soft bits or a human with less?"

He shook his head as he let his subharmonics trill with amusement, lowering his forehead to hers once more. "Neither. You're just... you. Unique and different but familiar and home at the same time. And I love all of you. Even your hair."

She raised a browplate at that. "My hair?"

"Yeah. Hair is weird. I mean, there's no way this much of it can fit on your head," He commented.

She let her subharmonics trill with amusement as she smiled at him. "Mine's just really thick."

"I always thought it was strange. Plus, you had even more of it than most human women, back at C-Sec."

"Turians may not have the genes for hair but you produce proteins faster. My hair grows twice as fast as a human and I'm too lazy to deal with it too often."

"Well, as much as hair is weird... I think I miss it now. Although, I definitely like the new colour," He admitted.

She couldn't help but blush in response. "I like it too," She told him, a little shyly, shifting a little as he attempted to lean back, with no real place to move. "We really need a better place to sleep. This cot is small enough when it's just me..." She mused.

"You know, I might just have to agree with you on that," He said as she grinned at him, her fingers lightly tracing between the clasps of his armour. She had grown tired of sitting on the uncomfortably bulky metal.

"I think I might grow my hair back out," She commented, causing him to nod in agreement.

"You should. But keep the colour."

"I plan on it. I might also grow my fringe out..." She trailed off.

He sat up a little at that, keeping her on his lap as he felt her uncertainty through their bond that she was deliberately keeping open. "Everyone would be able to see your plates." He knew that she already knew that but he also knew that she would need some prompting before continuing.

"I'm tired of hiding," She admitted softly. "Plus, it's not as if I'm not identifiable now, anyway. Huge, disfiguring scars tend to be noticeable. And... If we pull this off and can cure the Cerberus hybrids... I can't stay hidden in the shadows anymore. It's not normal. I need to be visible to fight for the hybrids. Plus... I never really admitted this to anyone but... I want a normal life. I never thought I could have one but... Maybe I just have to earn one."

"Do either of us even know what 'normal' is?"

She shrugged, smiling a little. "I don't know. What would you say is normal?"

"This. Being here with you. It's both normal and perfect."

She blushed a little at that. "Who knew under all that cynicism was a romantic?"

"Hypocrite," He murmured as he leant forward and began lightly nipping her neck, earning him a tone of surprise followed by one of pleasure from her sub-harmonics. "So, what would this 'normal' life be like?"

"I don't know... I guess that's part of the appeal. I can't say that I'd particularly want to go back to living on ships. Or on the Citadel. And I'm not a huge fan of Earth, either."

"Really?"

"I may have gotten over my bad memories but I still have them... I think I'd want to live somewhere remote." She felt a wave of nostalgia come from him at that and she let her subharmonics trill with question.

"I think I know just the place," He told her, causing her browplate to quirk up at him as he paused his actions at her neck, instead moving his hand to her waist. "There's a little colony not too far from Palaven. All beaches and it's warm all year around."

"Sounds like paradise."

"Yeah... It kind of is..."

She frowned a little as she felt him shutting down thoughts before she could sense them. "How are you-"

He cut her off by moving his hand to her breast, causing her breath to hitch in her throat. "I think that I should be allowed some secrets. Don't you?"

She shook her head a little but couldn't hold back a moan as she felt her nipples harden beneath her bra. A single week of almost constant, mind blowing sex wasn't enough to satisfy three years of wanting, she had quickly discovered.

"You make a very persuasive argument..." She managed as she squirmed a little in his lap, quickly finishing the job of removing all of the armour that she could reach, leaving him in just his undersuit, his boots and the armour just above them.

"You know how annoying these are, right?" He asked as he tugged at her vest, referring to her insistence on wearing tight jeans that he always struggled to remove.

She helped him pull the offending piece of clothing off, kicking them over to the other side of the room before sitting back on his lap. "Yeah, being the only one of your kind doesn't leave you with a lot of clothing options. Speaking of, you have to stop ripping my clothes when you get impatient. I'll run out soon."

"You're one to talk. Plus, I don't hear you objecting all too often."

She simply shrugged at that. "What can I say? It is pretty hot. Just inconvenient."

He simply responded by lowering his mouth to her breast, circling her nipple with his rough tongue, drawing a soft moan from her as she moved her own hands to begin teasing the soft spot beneath his fringe. After a few moments, he lifted his head back up to rest his forehead on hers again, causing her subharmonics to trill with question.

"So, what else would this perfect future contain?"

She gave him a weak smile at that, avoiding his gaze. "Red... What's the point of speculating about the future? Especially when everything's so crazy and uncertain right now..."

"All the more reason to have something to look forward to." At that, he moved his hands to her waist, causing her to moan, biting her lip a little.

"Hmm... You don't play fair..." She murmured ruefully before smiling, rolling her eyes a little. "Alright, we'll play it your way... Erm... Okay, I'm out of ideas..." She gave a half hearted shrug, smiling a little as she moved her lips to his neck, running her tongue lightly across his bondmark.

"What about a house to live in? A big one," He managed, despite her insistent touch. He felt her smile widen a little as she finally got into his little game.

"Just not too big. I grew up on ships, I'm not used to big, open spaces. Just big enough for us and a couple of k-," He felt her stiffen as she caught herself, mid-sentence, "-Cats," She finished, unconvincingly.

"Cats?"

"Yeah. Little furry mammals that humans keep as pets."

He rolled his eyes a little at her obvious attempt to hide whatever she had been about to say. "I know what a cat is, Blue. I've never seen one, but I know what it is." She dropped her gaze at that, prompting him to move his palm to her cheek in comfort. "You weren't going to say 'cats', were you?"

"Of course I was," She lied. She was well aware of the fact that he knew she was lying, but she kept going. "I like cats. They're less needy than dog or varen and-"

"Blue..."

She sighed a little, finally facing him. "Do you really want to have this conversation now, Red? It was a slip of the tongue, nothing more. I honestly don't even know where that came from. Like I said, it's pointless to worry about the future. We've got bigger problems right now. Too much fighting left to see the end of it."

He frowned a little at that. "Opinions towards the hybrids are worse than you let on, aren't they?"

"Not worse just... I have to finish my work here before we even get onto that. I just can't think that far ahead. I need to stay in the present." He didn't need the strange new connection between them to know that she needed him to agree to this. She needed to stay grounded in the here and now, where she was finally happy, if a little daunted by the tasks ahead of them.

"I understand, ani."

She gave him a grateful smile at that before nuzzling into his neck. "And I can think of something in particular I want, right here and now," She murmured into his collar, causing him to grin a little as he pulled her closer.

"You're insatiable."

"I'm sorry, was that a complaint?"

"Merely an observation," He replied, a little hurriedly, before stopping, causing her to pull away a little so that she could catch his questioning gaze. "You know that... Well that..." He frowned a little at his loss for words before simply conveying through their bond what he meant.

He was there for her if she needed him.

"I know," She told him, nodding. "But right now I don't need to talk or worry about things. Right now, I need you to help me forget, well, everything."

"Oh, I think I can definitely do that..." His voice was low, suggestion filling his subharmonics as he moved his hands down to her arse, pulling her towards him once more.

"You ever going to make good on all this talk?"

"Definitely..."