Chapter 22 – Getting There

Gabi's POV

I took another lap around the nurse's station as I was breathless but I was determined to keep going. "Gabi, it's time to rest," the nurse came up behind me as I shook my head, "I want out of here,"

"I guess you should tell your counts to bounce back up," she said with a smile, "You have been awake for a week,"

"Three weeks in the hospital too many," I argued, she laughed shaking her head, "Your husband is going to have a field day with this," I smiled as she escorted me back to my room. "We can do more laps later but honey, you look like you are about to fall over."

"I know but my daughters 7th birthday is next week,"

"You will at least be here until next week, I'm sorry Gabi, you have to do chemo and then wait a couple of days before we release you to go home." I sat down on the bed as I sighed; I adjusted my yoga pants as Dr. Roads came into the room. I had been moved to the oncology ward. The Bacterial Meningitis was no longer contagious and I was free of that but now my counts were shit.

I was still having multiple tests run everyday to make sure everything was still working – it was. I also had my counts run daily but they couldn't get any of them to really come up, I was having so many transfusions and platelets and when I was missing all of those things I was extremely tired.

"Gabi, Gabi, your body just isn't responding huh?" I sighed, "Maybe if you let me out into the real world,"

"Oh no, we are not doing that. You have no immune system,"

"Technical problems," I said with a wave of my hand, he laughed, "Gabi, you woke up a week ago. I think we need to be a little bit more patient." I sighed, "Plus, I am going to put a feeding tube back in you if you don't start eating more."

"No," I protested, "You are stubborn as hell," Dr. Roads said shaking his head, "Tell me about it, it's the first thing I noticed in her almost twenty years ago," Troy walked in as I smiled looking up at him, "Hey,"

"Hi," he said softly, he walked in as he greeted me with a kiss; he lingered for a moment longer than normal as he smiled, "I love you,"

"I love you too," Dr. Roads cleared his throat, "Counts are still shit," he said bluntly, we were past being formal with each other. Troy laughed, "Fabulous,"

"We are going to do another transfusion today and we'll see tomorrow, I don't know why they aren't coming up. I have stopped trying to figure Gabi's body out though," my smile shifted as Troy rubbed my shoulder gently. I yawned as I lay in the bed; I was in a pair of sweats with a long sleeve shirt as the hospital always seemed to be freezing. I hated being cold.

"I'll be back later,"

Troy sat down as he kissed my forehead, "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," I said honestly looking at him, "I didn't sleep well last night…did you?" he shook his head, "Too worried about you,"

"Really?"

"Yes," he said, "It was my first night actually away from you,"

"Maybe that's why I couldn't sleep,"

He smiled and kissed the top of my head, "Liam and Emma want to come up and visit."

"I want to go home."

"I want you to come home too," he said as he traced his hand over my face, "But we also have to take this slow baby girl, I can't lose you."

He stood up as he stretched his arms over his head. He sat his stuff down as I looked at him, "Troy, what happened during those 13 days?" his body tensed and he let out a long breath, he didn't turn to face me so I couldn't read his face. He reached for the wall as he balanced himself, he was thinking on how to answer the question that posed on my mind.

"Brie, it's tough,"

"I want to know," I said, he turned towards me and I realized why he hadn't slept last night. I realized why he hadn't slept any of the nights he had been here. His face was torn apart, he was broken just thinking about it. "I don't think I can talk about it right now,"

"Troy, please,"

His jaw tightened and he sat down in a chair, he bowed his head for a moment as he rubbed his temple. "Brie,"

"Please Troy," he looked up and I saw a flash of pain behind his eyes. He pressed his hands by his lips; "You know that you were on life-support for ten days, that you were better." I nodded my head as he sucked in a large breath. "We had decided the night before that we were going to take you off life-support." He said quietly, "I was getting ready to call Dr. Roads when he called me to tell me that you were breathing on your own."

He looked up at me as every demon that was in him was stirring. "We were coming in to say goodbye to you Gabi, we were coming to let go of you and some how by a act of God you are living and breathing right now. You had no idea, no idea how hard those ten days were on our family. Liam and Emma were so upset and Wes, Wes made so much sense when I could barely make a thought. I didn't sleep," he paused, "I haven't slept," he corrected, "In over three weeks because I don't know how you are still here with me Brie, I don't, I don't know," he buried his head into his hands. He took a couple of really long breaths; he looked up at me as he was crying.

My heart broke in two as I looked at him, I slipped out of the bed as I went, and I pried his arms apart from his face as I sat down on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I hugged him close to me. His face was pressed against my shoulder; I had nothing to say though. I was hours from dying but somehow, here I am. I was in my own set of tears but I held Troy for comfort because he obviously was having a lot of trouble right now. He couldn't let any of it go. How close he was to losing me and I can't imagine what that felt like to him.

"I'm so sorry Troy, I'm so sorry," I whispered, he didn't tell me not be sorry because I think anything that would come out of his mouth would completely tear him apart. I rubbed his back after a while as he took a staggered breath. "I never want to feel that again Brie, I never want to feel this hopelessness of losing you or having to be the one to say stop life-support, please, please, never do that to me ever again because I can't,"

"Okay," I whispered, "Okay,"

I jumped out of sleep as my heart raced, my hand hovered over top of my heart. After what Troy said, I didn't trust my body. Closing my eyes was hard at night with and without Troy's story.

His story was very vague and I wasn't going to push the subject. A lot more happened in those ten days than he will probably ever tell me but I knew what was keeping him up at night. My stomach lurched as I sat up and I ran my fingers through my hair. I was feeling a lot better over the past week. I was just tired from having really low counts in everything. My body was moving again after several intense physical therapy sessions and I was doing better.

The kids were in and out, mainly Liam, Emma, and Wes. They would come up, spend the afternoon with me and return home. Troy would normally follow to have dinner with them and he was gone for the night. I wish he would just stay with me but he also had to be the dad.

Apparently Jenni was taking them back to school shopping tomorrow as they were all going back to school next week. I sighed as a nurse came into my room, as she looked startled to see me awake. "Are you okay, Mrs. Bolton?"

"Yea, just can't sleep," I said softly, "I just came to check your vitals,"

"Okay," I said quietly, she did her thing and when she walked out, I reached over for my cell phone, I pressed it up against my ear as it rang a couple of times.

"Are you okay?" his words were exhausted but I could tell he hadn't been sleeping. "Yea, I just, I had a bad dream."

I heard the light flicker on in the house, "I'm sorry, do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't really remember it,"

"How was bedtime?"

"Brie, you need rest."

"Troy," I protested, I didn't want to start crying but I was more emotional over the past week. I was tired easily, I was scared, and I didn't know what the hell to feel. "I can't sleep, I'm scared,"

"Of what?"

"Of never waking up," I knew I was tearing Troy apart with those words because he didn't say anything for a long time. "When is the last time you slept Troy?" I asked him, "I don't know Gabi," he said, "I don't know,"

"I just want to come home to my bed," I said as I closed my eyes tightly, "I just want to fall asleep in your arms, I just want everything to go back to normal."

"I know you do Brie, I want to go back to normal too but you have got to be healthy,"

"I need you Troy, I need you,"

"Brie," his voice was strained, exhausted, "Troy,"

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "What could you possibly be sorry for Troy? You never did anything,"

"I didn't protect you, I didn't do as I promised I would. I have let you fall and I almost killed you."

"Troy, you never almost killed me."

"Then why are you in the hospital? Why did I almost sign papers? Why, it's my fault,"

"You can't protect me from everything,"

"That's my job, you aren't supposed to suffer,"

"Troy, I'm fine now. I'm going to get better, I'm beating cancer."

"I'll talk to you later Brie, I love you,"

"Troy,"

"I'll be up there in a few hours," his voice held promise but I knew he almost didn't want to come. I think he was scared. I felt my chest tighten and I nodded, "Okay,"

"I love you," he said again, "I love you too,"

He hung up after that as I let the phone slid into my lap, I rubbed my face as I had so much bottled inside of me. I was so confused by those thirteen days, if I was supposed to die why didn't I die? I had memories of my dad that made my heart explode with warmth. I just wanted to understand everything. Confusion wrapped around my brain as I looked out the window. I slipped out of the bed as I pulled my IV pole with me. I looked out the window as I was exhausted but sleep wasn't going to come.

When I fell asleep I had confusing dreams and then I just wanted Troy. Troy was being distant but I scared the complete shit out of him. I ran my hands over my baldhead, my stomach twisted and turned as I sat down in a chair. I curled up, as I wanted to make counts tomorrow, I was willing myself to make counts tomorrow so I could have chemo.

I wanted to have chemo.

This was the sickest thing I think I have ever said. I want chemo so I can go home; I want chemo so they will release me. I want chemo so I know I am getting back to my normal life of chemo every three weeks. I crumpled over, as I didn't even know I was crying until I was sobbing.

I bit down hard on my lip as his arms wrapped around my shoulders, "Hey, Shh," he whispered into my ear, my chest moved in aching movements as he hugged me tightly. "Brie, hey, calm down, calm down," he whispered into my ear. My sobs were long and hard, my stomach and throat killed, my head pounded. He rubbed my back as he hugged me tightly his arms comforting and warm.

Warmth.

I moved closer to him, as I only wanted the warmth of his touch. I buried my face into his neck as his hand slid behind my neck; he pulled me closer as he kissed the top of my head. "Shh…" he whispered, I felt his heartbeat as he rubbed my back slowly, he kissed my temple as he pulled away gently as he looked into my eyes. He stroked the side of my face with his thumb, his eyes sad as he looked at me.

"It's okay," he said softly, "It's okay," I grabbed his hand, as I wanted it to stay close to my face. His blue eyes looked at me with growing concern as I was still crying, "Come here," he said softly, he helped me up and he moved me to the bed. I noticed a nurse and a doctor who were standing close by, Troy helped me into the bed as I lay down as he laid next to me, and he pulled me into his arms. He kissed the top of my head and stroked my arm but my chest felt extremely tight. My body hurt. I could barely breath.

I could only feel him against me.

Troy's POV

I kissed the top of her head as the only reason the crying had stopped coming from her mouth was because they sedated her to calm down. I looked up at the nurse as I silently moved out of the way as she curled up but was limp.

"What the hell happened?" I asked I felt frustrated because I didn't know what the hell was supposed to happen. I didn't know this was coming I am so confused. I don't know I'm so scared. I looked up at the doctor. He sighed, "Dr. Roads is coming,"

"He didn't witness that!" I exclaimed, I ran my hands through my hair, "I don't know, Troy. I walked in here and she was crying, I didn't know what about but she was starting to panic. I called you. I watched her but she just cried, then she started sobbing. You showed up and you saw the rest. I don't know what set her off, she has been through a lot."

I tried to think of our conversation but I couldn't. I was drunk. I'm still kind of am. I had sobered up a lot in the past thirty-five minutes but it was still hanging there. "Can I have water?" I asked, "I had a little too much to drink last night and I need water,"

"Want an IV?" she asked, "A lot more a lot faster, won't charge you," the nurse offered, "No thanks, I just need water."

"Alrighty,"

I sat down next to Gabi's bed, as she looked exhausted. Her cheeks were painted red from her tears, her eyes were swollen and she looked like someone had beaten her. I reached out as I stroked her hand, it was stupid but I am stressed. I shouldn't have had those drinks tonight but I did. Now, I could have said something that I didn't mean. I could have set her off.

My hands squeezed the back of my neck as I stood up, I went out as I drank two things of water quickly. "Morning Troy," I turned to see Dr. Roads, "Hey," I said, "I heard about Gabi this morning and I am not surprised. She has remained fairly calm over the past couple of days, she needed that."

"That was beyond breaking, I have never seen her that inconsolable." He nodded, "She is feeling a lot, confused, probably send her to see a therapist for a bit."

"Just what she needs, to be told she is crazy."

"She isn't crazy Troy, she has been through a lot. She needs someone to talk to and to learn how to deal with stress."

I squeezed the back of my neck as he went in to the room. I followed him, "Gabi," his voice was warm as I looked up to see her awake. Her eyes connected with mine, tears filled her eyes all over again as my gut twisted into two. "Hey," I said quietly, I moved around Dr. Roads, "It's okay," I whispered into her ear, she wasn't sobbing like earlier, she was just crying.

I kissed her head and she gripped my arm, "Lay with me,"

"Okay," I said quietly, I sat down as she curled up next to me. Dr. Roads did a few things and she let her head lay near my chest.

Gabi's POV

I kept him close as a fear of losing his warmth washed over me. Dr. Roads left as Troy stroked my arm gently and he kept kissing my forehead. "Are you okay?" he asked after a while, the sun was up and I felt numb. "What is okay?" I asked, Troy sighed, "I wish I knew," he moved away as I pulled him back closer.

"Brie,"

"Don't leave," I whispered as I pressed my body closer, "I get so cold when you leave,"

"Are you alright Brie?"

I shrugged as tears filled my eyes, "Ever since I woke up I have been craving a warmth and every time you are here you provide it, I don't know, I'm so confused by these past few weeks and I don't understand how I lived."

Troy sighed softly, "We don't need to question Gods choices Brie,"

"In Gods opinion I was good as dead apparently,"

"You are alive Brie, that's all that matters right now."

"I just want to know why I'm here,"

Troy sighed as he rubbed my back, "I wish I could tell you,"

"I just don't understand why I need you and why I need you to be here for me to feel okay,"

"Do you remember anything from when you were asleep?" Troy asked, I closed my eyes, "I have memories of talking to my dad but I couldn't have been talking to him. He is dead."

"You could have memories of him, maybe he was able to talk to you Gabs, what did you talk about?"

I closed my eyes as I thought about it; I then took a deep breath.

"Dad?"

He turned around and faced me, his smile was youthful, and his eyes were bright. "Gabi," he whispered, "You look beautiful," he whispered, "So beautiful," I could see his tears as he came over and gave me a really big hug. "You have no idea how proud you have made me these past twenty years," he said, I blinked away tears as I looked at him, "what happened?" I asked him.

"Well, you got sick."

"Am I dead?" A panic washed over me. "No, not yet but it's not good," I felt dizzy in my altered state as I reached for my chair. "I have five kids,"

"I know, they are all beautiful, Troy is really worried."

"God, Troy,"

"Don't worry about that right now…let's just talk."

"What about?"

"How is life Gabi?"

"Life is amazing. I mean, I guess I have cancer but that's a small bullet point. I have an amazing family, Troy takes great care of me, and I don't think anything could be more perfect. I don't want anything to change and if something happened to me I would fear about Troy and Liam because they would be lost. They need to learn how to learn to live without me but he just, it's love."

"Troy does love you,"

"I can't leave him yet Dad,"

"I know, I know, when the time is right,"

Liam's POV

I lay back as the end of summer was quickly approaching, my junior year upon me. Alexa sighed to my left as I looked over at her the feelings were there. She looked at me and all I could stare at was her lips.

"Liam," I looked up at her eyes as she smiled, "Do you want anything to drink?"

"No," I said as I swallowed against every urge in my body. Nobody was home at my house, well, besides us kids and my grandma but they were all busy. Emma was out with a couple of other friends as Alexa sighed; I leaned forward as I let my hand sit on top of her thighs.

"Liam,"

"I'm not going to do anything, you know that." I told her with a small smile, "Liam, I can't do it anymore," I looked into her brown eyes as she sighed, "I have tried for weeks, I have given you space because of your emotions with your mom but I like you a lot Liam. I love talking to you, I love that you need me, I love that I know things about you, I'm falling for you Liam and we haven't even kissed yet."

I reached up as she held her face in my hands, "You know I like you too Alexa," she smiled as I leaned a little closer. She smiled as I squeezed her knee, "I'm not going to kiss you," I told her, "Why not?" she asked with a sigh, "Because, you deserve a better kiss than right now here in my backyard."

She looked at me with annoyance as I laughed; I stood up as I leaned closer to the pool. I stretched my arms out as I felt her hands on my back and I then leaned forward and fell into the pool. The water rushed around me as I went under and came up laughing. I looked at Alexa as she looked at me with her hands on her hips. "What?" I asked, she shook her head, "I do not like you right now."

I grinned, "Come here,"

"No!"

"Come here!" I said louder, she looked at me and then walked forward in the pool She looked at me, "Help me up," I asked, "No way am I falling for that!" she said, and "Do you not trust me?" I teased, she shook her head but she reached forward anyways, I laughed as I pulled her into the pool with me. She laughed as she went under the water she came back up laughing.

"Maybe I wanted you to pull me into the pool…" she said with a smile, I laughed as I wrapped my arms around her neck pulling her closer to me. I looked to her eyes as she took a deep breath. "Maybe this is the right moment." I whispered softly, I leaned forward as I kissed her lips softly. She kissed me back, her lips so soft, I pulled away as she smiled, and her skin blushed. I smiled as I then kissed her cheek.

"I don't want our time to be awkward," she said, I looked down at her as I squeezed her tightly to my body. "We have known each other for fourteen years Lex," she pulled away, "The kissing might be a little awkward for just a little while but I think it will fade quickly." She smiled as I kissed her forehead. "The only thing we have to worry about is your dad,"

"My dad adores you, you are his third son,"

"Technically, I was his first," I joked, "He looks at you like a son,"

"I know he does, so he won't like this."

"I know," she said as I let go of her, she smiled as I went over to the edge of the water. "So are you going to knowledge me at school or are you going to be a big bad junior and completely ignore me?" I laughed as I looked at her, "I'm going to be the lame junior who will want to be with his awesome freshman girlfriend." She smiled, "So does it go that quick? Seeing to dating?"

"Duh, we have been waiting for how long?"

"A while, when was the first time you thought you liked me?"

"Spring Break," I said with a simple shrug, "On the beach but you are Chad's daughter,"

"Chad's daughter," she said quietly, "I do not want to be known as that."

"Well, you'll be known as Alexa to me,"

"I like when you call me Lex,"

"Oh really?"

She smiled, "Really,"

"There was warmth, something was dragging me back to life because I was talking to my dad and I didn't want to be there anymore," I said to him, Troy looked at me, "I laid with you the night before you woke up," his voice was in awh, "I wasn't ready to go home, I hadn't slept in days, and if I was going to have to say goodbye to you tomorrow then I sure as hell was going to lay with you. So I did. The next time I was here you were off the breathing machine."

I went quiet as I liked it but I wasn't sure that could be it. "I guess our loves is too much to take down," Troy joked, I smiled as he kissed the top of my head. "You can't be scared though Gabi, I mean, yes, you can be scared. I'm scared. But we have to learn how to move past that scared. We have to learn how to be happy and excited," Troy was interrupted as Dr. Roads entered the room.

"Fantastic news!"

"I made counts?!" I asked, "You made counts and you made counts by so much that I'm about to let you go on a walk before I trap you in a hospital room for a long time but I want to re-run them to make sure there isn't any flukes.

I sat up, "If I make good counts again I can actually like…walk outside of the floor and…outside?" I whispered, Dr. Roads laughed, "Yes,"

"Run the counts! Run the counts!" I cheered, Troy and Dr. Roads laughed as they took more blood as I stood up. I walked around as I grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. "Gabs, take it easy," Troy's concerned voice built in my ears.

"Outside!" I cheered; Troy smiled, "You sound like Liam when he was three,"

I laughed, "I'm going stir crazy,"

"I know," he eased me back onto the bed as he smiled, "Let me see if we can unhook you from these machines," Troy walked out as he talked to the nurses. They came back in and unhooked me. "Water," they repeated, I smiled, "and can you refill my water for me please" they nodded as Troy helped me pull my shirt off. I was wearing a sports bra underneath as Troy guided my other shirt.

"Thanks,"

"I do not need you over doing it," he claimed, he slipped my sweats off as I craved for him to touch me in every naughty way but I knew that wasn't going to happen. He then slipped my shorts on as goosebumps rose over my legs. "Damn girl, you need to shave," I looked down at my legs and then up at Troy, he smiled, "I'm teasing," his amused grin told me he was.

"I have been a little busy,"

"Have you?" he asked, I smiled as they brought my water back and Troy kissed me softly. "You did it, oh yea yea yea!" he cheered, I looked up at Dr. Roads, "Go! Please! Get out of this damn hospital room and don't come back until you are exhausted. I'm assuming Troy will be with you the entire time." Troy nodded, "Won't let her out of my sight."

"After you get back, we will do chemo. Y'know, we get your counts where we want them and then are going to kill it all with chemo!"

"But I'll be able to go home right?"

"Sorry girl, you'll be here for another week though." I looked at him confused, "I'm not letting you out of here until your counts are stable. Your white blood cell count will dip again and your immune system is very weak so we are going to keep you here for one more week after chemo unless your counts are doing so well."

"No," I complained, "Let's go for a walk," Troy said as he rested his arm on my lower back; he gave me my water as we walked out. Troy guided me to the elevator as I looked at him, "They start school next week and Alli's birthday,"

"I know," he said, "We will figure it out. Brie, I have told you, your health is more important to me than anything else."

"My kids are starting school, junior, freshman, 7th grade, 1st grade, and pre-school."

"Brie, I understand that you want to be home for their first day of school and you might be home. We have to hope you do well during chemo,"

"They start a week from today!"

"You are starting chemo tonight, they said a week," I sighed frustrated, "Poor Alli has to start school on her birthday,"

Troy laughed, "I know, that sucks,"

"She'll love it though. She likes school."

"She does," Troy and I made it to the front doors as I burst through the doors. The warm air rushed around me as I almost burst into tears. It had been three weeks since I had been outside. I just wanted to kiss the air.

Troy laughed, "I have never seen you so excited to be outside,"

"I have never been locked inside for over three weeks,"

Troy grabbed my hand as we walked around the track outside the hospital. "I know how important it is for you to be at home but it is so important to me not to see you in that state again because I think I might just have a heart attack and die. I can't handle that again. Not for a very long time."

"Fine, I won't stress about it,"

"Good, because the more you stress the longer we will be here."

"Do you know how bad I want to make out with you?" I asked Troy, he paused as I turned to face him. An amused smile played on his lips, "Gabriella,"

"What?"

"You want to make out with me, after three weeks of shit, and you say it like,"

I laughed, "I'm not sleeping, dead, or stupid. I see my good looking husband walk into that room every morning," I pulled on his shirt as I pulled him closer to me. Troy smiled as he kissed me softly, "I am not going to make out with you here though,"

"I hate your rules,"

Troy smiled, "We are getting their Brie, we are getting there,"

Troy's POV

I arrived home late that night as Gabi had received her chemo just a couple of hours ago. I was reluctant to leave her because of how sick she normally gets but she told me to go home and get some rest.

I stayed through chemo and waited a couple more hours until I finally returned home. The warm smell of the house as I listened to hear for somebody but I got nothing. "Dad's home," someone said, I entered the kitchen as Emma was in her pajamas with Allison in her lap. They were sharing a bowl of ice cream, "How is mom?"

"Fantastic, she received her chemo tonight so she is doing well,"

"Good, when will she be able to come home?"

"Hopefully next week some time, they want to make sure she is safe from infections before they release her into the world. We will probably have somebody come and clean the house very well before she comes home."

"Okay," I smiled, "How was shopping today?"

"We were going to show you earlier but you weren't here," Emma said, her voice was bitter as I leaned forward, "You alright Em?"

She shrugged, "I think I am going to go to bed,"

She slipped Allison off her lap as I let her walk past me, I sighed, "How are you Alli?"

"Will mommy be home for my birthday?"

"I hope so sweetie, we'll see."

"If not, I want to go to her for my whole birthday,"

"You have school on your birthday,"

"No, I will go see mommy," I smiled, "Hopefully she'll be home." I ran my hand over her hair as I sat her at the table and I walked upstairs. I peered into Emma's room, as she was furiously writing in her journal, "You want to tell me what's wrong Emma?"

"No," I could hear the tears in her voice as I kept my spot at the door to give her some distance for a minute. "Em, come on, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong dad," her voice said other wise as I walked into the room, I sat on her bed as she turned her back to me, I rubbed it softly as she finally turned to lay her head in my lap. "I wish mom was home,"

"I wish she was home too," I told her, "Do you want to call her?" I asked, "No, I don't want to wake her up if she is sleeping,"

"Probably not," I said, she shook her head again as I rest my hand on the top of her head, "Okay," I said quietly, "Do you want to tell me what's wrong or do you just want to lay here?" I asked, she sat up and then scooted she sat in my lap as she rested her head on my shoulder. "Why don't boys like me?" she asked, her words were quiet as it was a blow to my gut.

I didn't want boys to like her. I didn't know how to answer this question but she was upset about something. I wrapped my arm around her waist as I hugged her, I sighed, "I'm not sure Em, I bet they do like you but maybe not how you want them too."

"Well I have boy friends but I want a boyfriend," the words made my skin cringe, "This really is probably a better conversation to have with your mom," I remarked, "But you understand boys and I don't understand why they talk to you for so long and then you start to like them and then they are saying they don't like you and it's hard," her words were rushed and fast as I closed my eyes.

"I wish I understood why boys did it Em, I wish I understood why I did it to girls a long time ago. I don't though, you are young baby girl, and you have a long way to go in life. You shouldn't be so upset over one boy that is an idiot because you are just like your mom in so many ways and I know boys will want you one day and trust me, I am not ready for that day. I am so not ready for that day,"

She smiled, "I love you daddy," the words were always music to my ears as I smiled, "I love you too Em, I can't believe you are going to be a freshman,"

"I can't believe it either."

She sat up and I looked at her, "Are you alright?"

She shrugged, "I wish that it was that easy," I smiled, I kissed her forehead, "Come and get me if you need me okay?"

"I will," I got up off her bed and I went to check on the rest of the kids, when I got to Liam's room, he turned around with a big goofy smile on his face. "You okay?" I asked him, I was worn out and was really hoping for sleep tonight.

"I am better than okay," he said with a grin, "I am fabulous,"

"Uh huh," I said with a nod, "I'm going to bed, if anybody needs anything," I hesitated, "Do not wake me up,"

He laughed, "What if the house is burning down,"

"If someone is dying, burning, bleeding, then you can wake me up. If it involves 911 you can wake me up. Just…nothing stupid." I announced, I then turned and went to the bedroom. I collapsed on the bed and kicked my shoes off. I had nothing else to do I just needed sleep.

Gabi's POV

I buried my head into the pillow as I felt like complete shit, I had already puked twice and I was so nauseous. "You do not agree with this chemo regimen do you?" he asked, I felt like I could puke as I looked at Dr. Roads, "It only lasts a couple of days," I said with a weak smile, "We only have two more rounds after this,"

"Good out look," he said, "Oh hell, someone had a bad night," I looked up to see Troy enter the room. It was later than normal but Liam said he was sleeping earlier and there was no bugging that right now.

"I'm fine,"

"She puked twice," Dr. Roads said reading over my chart, his eyes looking down, "Just not feeling well,"

Troy set his coffee down, "I'm sorry pretty girl," he kissed my forehead as I closed my eyes. "Sleep," I muttered, "Good, get rest, your counts are well today but they normally don't dive for a couple of days. So if you hold steady for six days then I'll release you. Normally after the 5th day is when the shit hits the fan,"

I smiled as Troy sat down next to me; my room was dark and quiet as Dr. Roads left. I had to do scans later today but that was going to be fine. Troy sighed, "Emma has some boy issues brewing so be prepared for that,"

"Hell, I couldn't have left and let you deal with that," he laughed, "I would have locked her up for years,"

"I know," I let my hand rest on his as I let my eyes close. "Get some rest baby girl,"

Troy's POV

School started tomorrow and Gabi was still in the hospital. The kids were anxious for her to come home and it would hopefully be soon because her counts took a swan dive two days ago and have yet to recover.

Today she would receive transfusions and all that fun stuff to hopefully come home tomorrow. If she could come home tomorrow she would be here for Allison's birthday and it would mark almost a month of being in the hospital.

I licked my lower lip, as I made sure we had everything for breakfast and lunches tomorrow. My eyes scanned the shelves and I wrote down a couple of things I needed. "Hey dad, I'm going to go hang out with Keith and Chase."

I looked up at Liam as I nodded, "Alright, be back by this afternoon,"

"I will," he walked out as I ran my fingers through my hair, I did another double check and I snatched my list up. I grabbed my car keys as I let Sharpay know I was leaving since she was here to watch Lo and Alli.

I waved by to the girls as Emma was lying on her bed talking to somebody as I let it go and passed by. Wes was outside playing catch with our neighbor as I waved to everybody as I went back to the hospital where I felt like is all I have been to lately.

The drive was exhausting anymore and I couldn't wait until I would never have to drive here again. I closed my eyes at a traffic light as I still wasn't sleeping well and I don't think I will until Gabi is next to me in bed.

I miss her tossing and turning. I miss her little snores. I miss wrapping my arms around her in the middle of the night. I miss waking up to her frequent bathroom trips and her getting up in the morning to tend to the kids. I miss it all.

Pulling into the hospital parking lot, I parked in the same area I had parked in every single day. I walked in, greeted the security guard as we were on a first name basis now. I never wanted to be this close to a hospital again. Every nurse in the rotation knew who I was and knew what I wanted before I wanted it. It was a month of this crazy life and I didn't like it.

The only thing I was grateful for is that it wasn't one of our kids because that would be ten times worse. Gabi would never leave and she would hurt more than she hurts now. So I could handle it a lot better this way.

Making the trip up the elevator, I walked down to her room as I noticed a couple of nurses inside. Gabi's laugh echoed out into the hallway, as she sounded happy. I peeked my head into the room as she caught my eyes quickly. "Troy!"

I smiled, "Hey, you look happy."

"They are releasing me!" she announced, her eyes excited, her face bright. I looked at her for a minute as if I didn't hear her right, "What?" she laughed "I made counts this morning! I made them with flying colors and without transfusions!"

I laughed as I went over and I hugged her, "Oh my god, wait until the kids find out!"

"I will be home for the first day of school and Alli's birthday!"

I kissed the top of her head, "Yes, we are getting there, we are getting better."

"Dr. Roads is running them one more time to make sure but he has no doubt in his mind that this is my last day in the hospital." I felt a wide grin spread over my face. "Good, it's been a tough few weeks."

"Tell me about it," she said with a small laugh, I kissed her softly as I pressed my forehead against hers. "You are my warrior,"

"I like that…"

"I like it too," I kissed her again as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Mommy!" the cheers for Gabi rang out quickly after we entered the house. Gabi who was tired already smiled and laughed as she hugged each of the kids. My stomach knotted up knowing that this might not have happened. That this scene could have been completely different, I swallowed back any tears in my throat as I smiled.

"Mom needs her rest so how about you guys go find a game and we will all hang out later alright?" the agreed and went running off. Liam was on his way home, now that he had heard the news of Gabi being home.

Gabi walked up to our room and she took in the room around her, I rubbed the back of my neck, "Sorry,"

"Troy is this whole house like this?"

"No, just our room," I said with a sigh, "I had the whole house cleaned from top to bottom yesterday and well I had already done our room more than once so a lot of shit ended up in here." I went to pick up the dirty close, "I'll clean it up," I announced, "It's okay, I just want you to lay in our bed with me."

I dropped the clothes in my hand as I she sat down on her side of the bed. She kissed me softly as I wrapped my arms around her, my eyes already falling heavy. "I can't believe that month," she said, "I never, in my life, want to relive that."

"I know, I'm sorry Troy,"

"Don't be sorry Brie,"

"I love you Troy,"

"I love you too,"

Here ya go! I hope you guys enjoyed it!

Have a great week and if you are in the Midwest…don't freeze!

Happy March!

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