A month later.
Lily cuddled into Liam, his arm loosely around her shoulder and her head on his chest. She should be happy with just this. Something didn't feel right.
It's just James' stupid comment. That was weeks ago! Let it go, Liam fancies you and you fancy him. Happily ever after and all that!
Lily tried desperately to listen to that voice, but doubt started to consume her. Her friends liked him at first; they thought he was cute and sweet. Then they began to hate the way he made Lily sit with his friends, occupied all of her time and secretly flirted with other girls. The worst part was how sad Lily looked constantly. She missed her friends; she missed being on her own; she missed being able to talk to whomever she wanted without risking a jealous tantrum from her boyfriend; most of all she missed James. She couldn't deny that she was bored without his sarcastic comments and funny stories.
Liam could be really sweet, but she couldn't bare his friends or the way he badmouthed her friends for no reason. James never had done that. He had apologise to her after their argument, but she hadn't exactly accepted his apology, unless you count tell someone to 'go jump up their own arse and die' as forgiveness. Lily felt like someone was stabbed her heart every time Liam dragged her away from the Head Boy, "He is trying to break us up! Is that what you want?"
Liam always made her feel like she was boring him when she was talking; James always banished that insecurity by watching her with intense interest. He never checked out other girls when she was with him. He never made her feel worthless. He tried to pressure her.
You need to stop thinking like this! If you are unhappy with Liam, dump him! But stop comparing him to James. Stop thinking about James Potter all together.
Lily's head felt like it was going to explode with all the conflicting emotions. Do I like Liam? Do I really hate James, like Liam tells me I should?
Wait. Since when am I one of them stupid airhead girlfriends, who just do whatever their possessives arsehole boyfriends want? Is that all I am now? I've abandoned all my friends, ignored their advice and hurt someone who actually cares about me.
I deserve to be miserable.
"Aw, is my little Lily tired? Maybe we should go to bed?" God, was he always this condescending?
"Well I'm going back to my dorm, you can do whatever the hell you like."
As Lily went to stand up, Liam grabbed her shoulders roughly, "That's not a very nice way to speak to your boyfriend is it? Say you're sorry. Now."
Lily began to see how awful he really was, her hands shaking with fury, she managed to spit out "Sorry. See you later."
She almost ran back to her dorm, trying desperately not to cry. She felt like such a fool. Why hadn't she seen him for what he was? A stupid, mean, chauvinistic bully.
Oh god. All I want to do is lie in bed and just die.
Lily knew she shouldn't be out of bed at 1am, it was after curfew and she was Head Girl. But after lying awake for hours, she had clear her head somehow. Wandering in the dark on her own seemed like the perfect plan.
How did she get into such a mess? She was a complete idiot. James was right; Liam was just using her.
Urgh. I do hate myself at times.
Jesus Christ! I am absolutely freezing. This wallowing in self-pity nonsense is a lot colder than I thought.
Why is it never this cold on patrols? Or this scary?
Lily realized why on patrols she was never cold or afraid; she was with James. He always gave her his cloak, plus he was like a human radiator. Also she felt infinitely safe just being near him. She had never even told him of her irrational fear of the dark, yet somehow when she was with him, her usual panic disappeared. Maybe it was his innuendo laced comments and casual flirting, which never bothered her as he flirted with anyone with a pulse and a skirt? Somehow he still managed to be gentlemanly, by holding doors for her and offering her his arm when walking through the ancient castle. James confused her without meaning to.
Why am I thinking about him so much? I have a boyfriend! Argh. I think I shall just get myself put down to stop all this thinking nonsense.
Lily was lost, Hogwarts looked so different in the dark. They usually friendly statues looked threatening and terrifying. She was seriously freaked out.
Bloody hell! My life is just fantastic at the moment. Screw all the people in bed right now, all warm and dreaming away, while I'm freezing my arse off, alone, lost and having a mini emotional breakdown over my idiot boyfriend, some guy I used to hate and my weird mixed up emotions.
Lily punched a wall.
OH MY GOD I HAVE BROKEN MY HAND
Lily stumbled around the corridor swearing to herself and cradling her hand.
Why do they never show you this part in the movies? If they did, I won't have bloody done that! Jesus, my life is just getting better and better.
She continued along a corridor, she had no idea which one but it was definitely in Hogwarts. She had a feeling it was near the east end of the castle, but really she had no idea.
Then she heard the moaning.
First she thought it was some ghost or Peeves trying to scare her; but another voice began to moan also.
Excellent. Now some random ghost is sexually harassing me.
She turned the corner and saw something that made her want to punch the wall again.
"Liam?" Her strangled voice silenced the moaning.
Her boyfriend turned to face her, his trousers around his ankles and arms still up the shirt of some girl she couldn't make out.
He smiled at Lily, "Hi babes. I'm a bit busy right now. Give me a minute."
Her hands began to shake; a red mist seemed to descend over her.
"GIVE YOU A MINTUTE? ARE YOU SERIOUS?" she screamed furiously, "HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU STAND THERE SHAGGING SOMEONE ELSE AND ASKE ME TO GIVE YOU A MINTUTE? ARE YOU HIGH OOF INHALING TO MUCH OF THAT SKANK'S PERFUME?"
Liam's face fell.
"AND DON'T YOU DARE START TRYING TO ACT ALL INNOCENT! YOU ARE FOUL. YOU DESERVE TO BURN IN HELL AFTER BEING HIT WITH MULTIPLE BRICKS COVERED IN NAILS AND BROKEN GLASS! HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME? WE ARE SO OVER!"
Liam tried to reason with her rushing forward, which would have made Lily laugh if she hadn't been so furious, "Come on babes. You can't break up with me. We're-"
"That is where you are wrong." Lily had stopped shouting, her voice deadly and low, "There is so "we". I can break up with you; I was considering dumping your sorry arse anyway and now I definitely will. We are finished, done, fini. Have fun with your whore, babes."
The word 'babes' dripped with murderous sarcasm, like livid icicles. Lily turned on her heel and walked round the corner, trying to look as collected as possible. However, as soon as she was out of sight and earshot, she ran. She didn't know where, but she had to run. Tears were threatening to break free, running stopped them falling. She just kept running. Until she ran into something tall and solid.
"Lily?" She looked up to see a pair of hazel eyes, full of confusion and concern.
Lily burst into tears.
James wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him. He stroked her hair slowly, as she sobbed uncontrollably into his chest, thoroughly soaking his shirt. She was shaking and was only remaining standing thanks his strong arms.
They stood locked in an embrace for what felt like an eternity to James, worrying what had made strong, unbreakable Lily break down.
Lily crying slowed slightly, she began to take teary breaths.
James rubbed soothing circles on back, he whispered into her ear, "Lily, tell me what's wrong, please."
She tried to talk, but all that came out was a pathetic sob.
"I am so sorry for everything I said, I was wrong. Did you hear that? I've just admitted I was wrong. Me, James Potter! Please tell me what happened." She could hear the desperation in his voice.
"You weren't wrong." She mumbled into his shirt, which was covered in her tears.
"What? Of course I was wrong. I was a complete dick to you, and I am so sorry for that, but-"
"You were right about Liam. Well…I'm…he…I've just caught him cheating on me." She buried her face once more into his chest, wishing for the ground to swallow her up.
"Oh, Lily. Lily…" James hugged her even closer, wishing he could take her pain away.
"He asked me…to give me a minute!" she spluttered in fury.
"He what?" James' hand began to curl in to fists.
I am going to kill that bastard. No one does that to my Lily. Bloody no one.
"How could he…after…why- I"
"Shh, don't worry about that-that complete dickhead. He isn't worth your tears. You-you are worth a thousand of him and whoever she is." He rocked her back and forward and rubbed the bottom of her back, trying to ignore his pain at her sorrow. His heart ached, the girl, who had broken his heart, had her heart broken too. When she hurt, so did he. James loved Lily with all his heart and as he held her face, softly brushing way her tears, he forgot their past fights and hurtful words, and kissed her forehead lovingly. He lead her back to their dormitory, laid her on her bed and held her close to him, long after she had fallen asleep in his arms.