AN: 2.10
Haze
Personnel in generic neutral colours, the steady beep, beep, beeping of medical equipment, the smell of sterility, and the artificial docility of crazy people – Linden is drowning in all of it.
Some time between lucidity and unconsciousness, Linden had been taken from her world and thrown into this one. It's a world she's seen before and it terrifies her to have to see it again.
Something is wrong with her mind and it's hard to think clearly. It's as if someone had been tampering with the inside of her head, like there's an opaque veil obstructing her ability to understand what's going on.
But Linden fights back anyways, because that's how she deals with everything that gets in her way. She tries to reason with them but reasoning doesn't work with staff in a Psych ward. She fights back with her fists and kicks but there's too many of them and they overwhelm her, dragging her away and forcing more meds into her. She plays along, behaves herself until she thinks she's gotten somewhere with them but they know what she's doing and they use it to get to parts of her that she wants to hide.
They have good reasons to believe she's crazy and she sinks more and more as they lay out each reason, one by one.
She becomes part of the masses; wearing the same hospital gowns they all wear, eating when they eat, and drugged up on the same sedatives they're drugged up on.
Eventually, it's not only the walls and locks and detached interactions with the staff that keep her in; it's her own beliefs. She begins to think that they're right because she's the only one on her side anymore. She thinks, as she ravenously scarfs down her lunch, that this was meant to happen and that this place is good for her after all.
As long as Holder knows Linden is fighting to get out of there, he will fight for her too. He has precious little time to divide between the case and getting Linden out and he finds himself alone on both fronts.
The obstacles in his path push him to believe that he's wrong and they are right. But Holder has faith in Linden and he's not about to give up anytime soon. Had it not been for her, he'd be dead in some forest on that god-forsaken island and the Larsen case would have died long ago. He refuses to believe anything other than the fact that they've been set up by a power much bigger than themselves and that they'd be buried in this lie unless they kept kicking back.
He just hopes that Linden continues to believe that too.
In the midst of all this grey and non-stop rain, she's thrown a lifeline. It comes in the form of an obnoxious partner sporting still-healing battle scars.
"I'm gonna get you out of here. You hear? I'm not leaving you here."
With weak hands, Linden reaches out to grasp those words. It's scary, being helpless and naked and she wants to believe that she can get back the control she once had. She's tired and she'll have to depend on him to save her but she knows what he says will come true.
Linden holds on tight and doesn't let go.
The phone conversation with Mr. Sonoma is incredibly uncomfortable. Holder learns stuff that he's not sure he'd want to hear from anyone but Linden herself. It's like rummaging around in her bedroom and he feels guilty for doing this behind her back. Regardless, she'll understand.
Hopefully.
For a short moment, she sees Rick and it's like old times again. She rushes to see him, only to find that he's already gone. No plane ride, no Sunday barbeque, no wedding. She returns only to Holder and the Larsen case. But in her deep disappointment, Linden is grateful because one promise kept is better than none kept at all.
She follows her partner out of the hospital and allows herself to pass out during the car ride back.
-End-