Lol!

Disclaimer: I really shouldn't have to put this since it's common knowledge NONE of US own it.

Dammit!

"The Love Of My Life"

"Oh, AC. You are in a load of trouble."

Why can't I be with you? Coulson wondered as he drowned his sorrows in a bottle of cheap scotch. Dressed in a black T-shirt and athletic pants, it was very rare to see him out of his standard suit, tie and dress shoes. He hated people seeing this depressed, helpless side of him. Only two other people had seen him like this since his death and subsequent resurrection – Skye and May – and neither had any intentions to use it against him. He was extremely grateful for that.

"We saw him at a low. It's not easy for anybody."

Nursing the short glass cup halfway full of the amber color, he held it against his relaxed head. Shoulders slouched, he was defeated, hurt – not in the physical sense – wishing there was some way he could find a way to get to her. He needed to keep her safe from the very person who took her. Loki's explanation that he was ordered to take held no value. He was a trickster, so Coulson wasn't surprised if the man lied just to torture him

Groaning, he cursed under his breath, taking another sip of the scotch. Sitting the now empty glass on the coaster, he reached for the bottle next to the cup and poured another.

"Drowning yourself in sorrow and alcohol isn't going to help bring her back, Phil." May's voice came out of nowhere.

He startled just as he lifted the glass to his lips. Turning to his head to the right, he saw her leaning against her bunk with arms crossed. He turned his head back to stare at the enticing bottle. "Yeah, well, it's making me feel better." He answered clearly depressed.

She narrowed her eyes as she pushed herself off the bunk, dropped her arms, and slid on the barstool next to him. Pulling the bottle closer to her, she grabbed the lid and twisted it back. He whined – actually whined – as he saw the only source of aiding his sorrow was taken from him.

Just like the source of his happiness was taken away.

"What the hell, May?" He griped, just barely slurring his words.

"I believe you've had enough, Phil." Her stoic tone showed no concern; only the barest concern expression fleeting over her face hinted toward it. "Don't gripe at me. I can easily take you."

He knew that, especially with his current state of mind. "Okay, I give you that."

May was satisfied. "Glad you see my point." She got up and went behind the bar to stow the bottle. Leaning into the bar with her elbows supporting her upper half, May eyed him. "Now, once you're sober, tell me what we can do to get Skye back."

Ignoring the whole sober part, he went ahead and told her because they were a team who held no secrets with one another. "Nothing."

Her jaw slackened. "Excuse me? What do you mean nothing?"

"I'm the only one that can." He answered, trying to stand up but failing. Coulson settled back on the chair, believing it would be safer. May furrowed her eyebrows. "I have something in me that can possibly get me an invitation to Asgard, but Director Fury and Commander Hill aren't sure." He looked at her. "I was sent to Asgard for further medical treatment when S.H.I.E.L.D. exhausted all resources."

"Let me get this straight: You have a chance to go to Asgard and retrieve our girl, yet you're sitting here drowning in your sorrows?" May summarized. "What the hell is wrong with you, Phillip?" She stressed.

His anger seemed to override his inebriated state. Bolting off the barstool, he barely heard it crash to the floor as he glared at her, pointing directly at her. She saw the old Coulson. "Don't you think I would've already done it if I knew how!" He shouted angrily. "Loki took the woman that I…" He trailed off, chest heaving at the intense emotion he just let slip. Dropping into the next barstool, he looked down, tears pouring out of the corners of his eyes. He quietly sobs, but May can easily see the torture he's currently enduring.

"You gave up your chance at a normal one, at love."

Coulson tightly shut his eyes, trying to burn that simple sentence. Raina had been right. He'd given up the chance for a normal life and love, to work a 9-5 job, to come home every night to a loving family; but he knew in his whole being that a normal life was not for him. He had people around him that loved him, that cared. There was one woman, especially, who loved him and every day, he could see it in her expressive eyes.

I should've seen it sooner. She was right here all along. Coulson realized, getting up and shakily pacing back and forth.

"The woman that you what, Phil?" May prompted, knowing exactly where this was headed. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the rest of their team popping each one's head out of their bunks. Silently, she waved her hand, gesturing for them to go back to bed. They listened.

Coulson looked at her as he came toward her. "The woman that I…" he cut off, afraid to voice it. Her expectant look forced him to speak it out loud. "The woman that I love." He turned on his heels and went back the other way.

May said nothing, but a smug smile tugged at her lips. "Glad you finally admitted it."

If he was in the right mind, he would have glared at her and wondered how long she knew, not to mention whomever else knew about it. But he wasn't. His mind was too wrapped up in his thoughts.

Uncharacteristically, May rounded the bar, stopping in front of his path. When he came toward her, she reached out and cupped his head, locking it in place and instantly startling and stilling him. She made him look into her persistent eyes. "Phillip, think." She stressed, watching as his bewilder baby blue eyes stared into her stern chocolate ones. "What did they do to you? How did you get there? What does Thor say or do to get back to Asgard? Do you remember anything?"

"I remember what happened…the pain…but I also remember Tahiti."

Then, it hit him. Thor and the Hammer's arrival, the promise Thor made, Thor's request for the descent of the Bifrost, the sceptre piercing his heart, the last of his reserved energy to shoot the asshole, Thor's reaction to his death, Fury's demand to keep living, seeing the body bag protect him, all surgeries, his time on Asgard, fake Tahiti memories, the Bus and his team, his instant piqued interest in Skye, dealing with Elliot Randolph.

Breathing heavily, he snapped back to reality and stumbled, sliding into the nearest piece of furniture, lowering his head and rubbing his temples. Upon watching him remember, she let him go as soon as he looked down. "What is your memory telling you?" May questioned.

He looked up at her. "We need to go to Puente Antiguo, New Mexico."

May gave a hint of a smile. "I'll set the coordinates." She turned on her heels and headed to the cockpit, smiling satisfactorily on her way.

TBC...;)