Chapter Fifteen

-Zuko-

The week went by quickly after our hug. Katara and I were getting along much better after that night. At night we would both talk before we went to sleep. To my complete shock I was the one doing most of the talking; telling her what I could remember about my mother and Ember Island, my good memories. Granted we didn't talk about much because sleep would always come to us easily after a whole day of traveling together on the ostrich – horse, but Katara never did complain. As a matter of fact Katara seemed to be improving a lot during the week.

Her lack of memory remained the same as the night I found her, but emotionally and mentally Katara seemed to be growing stronger by the day. She would hold onto my arms and hug me without flinching. Her laughter had increased whenever she found something funny, mainly me much to my embarrassment. I swear each day there was not a chance that went by when I would not feel myself going red. Ordinarily my temper would have been so high that the trees we went by probably would have caught fire, but my temper never did go out of control. Not once. And much to my amazement (and Katara's I'm sure), I found that I was smiling more; though I will admit that I mainly smiled whenever Katara did and that was beginning to increase as well.

Despite all of this though, there were still some boundaries that I could not break through. Katara still kept her distance sometimes though not quite as far as before. Something is still holding her back, but I have a feeling I may never know what that is. Maybe that is just one boundary that can never be broken.

And this thought drives me insane.

My mind is racing as tonight is our last night together before Uncle Iroh arrives. Katara and I had arrived to the deserted village Uncle had directed me to come to around midday. There was barely anything left of the town; must have been attacked a few years ago. I heard Katara gasp as we rode by the vacant buildings and I could not help but hang my head at what my own nation had most likely caused. We had rode up to a hill overlooking the deserted village and since Uncle had not arrived yet we made camp and decided to relax for the rest of the day.

As I am thinking my eyes wander over to where Katara is lying on her mat by the fire gazing up at the stars. She seemed to be lost in her own thoughts too. I sighed, made to stand up from the run down house I was leaning against to stretch my legs, when Katara spoke up.

"Zuko I owe you an apology" she whispered.

"For what?" You didn't do anything.

"For calling you a hypocrite a few nights ago" she paused as I was about to interrupt to tell her that she did not need to apologize. "I was wrong to call you that because you never were a hypocrite…I was."

Katara are you serious? You're calling yourself a hypocrite?! "Why would you say that?"

"Zuko don't you understand? I said that you weren't being honest with me and that I could not trust you if you didn't trust me. But, the truth is, you were being honest when you said you could or would not tell me certain things. And I'm the one that was not willing to trust you. So I'm the hypocrite, not you. Can you ever forgive me?"

I couldn't believe my ears. Katara thought she was the hypocrite? Yes she did not trust me, but she had every reason to after I appeared out of nowhere the night I rescued her! Had this been any other time she called me a hypocrite there would be fire balls flying through the air and I would deny being called a hypocrite by her. But things have changed between us. I don't know how but they have. "Katara you are not a hypocrite!" I stated matter—of—factly. "You were right. I'm the hypocrite, not you. You had every right not to trust me after what happened to you before I appeared. There was no reason for me to act the way I have towards you. So you have no reason to ask for my forgiveness." Wow I can't believe I'm admitting this. "Technically it should be the other way around. I'm the one who should be asking for forgiveness."

"No."

"Yes. I haven't been fully honest with you and…I'm sorry." This is the first time I have ever flat out said the words 'I'm sorry' to anyone without prompting and mean it. Things really are changing.

Katara did not respond. She just returned her gaze up to the stars and I thought I noticed tears start to form at the corner of her eyes, ready to spill over at any second. Please don't cry Katara, I pleaded in my head. I need to think of something quick. Something that will prove I'm right and that I'm trying my hardest to change. Suddenly I remember one of the questions she had asked me that I immediately retreated from. The one question that I always retreated from, but now, I think I can trust her with it.

"Katara," I started, breaking the one rule I promised myself I would never break, "do you…still want to know…about my scar?"

Katara shot straight up from her mat and gawked at me with wide eyes. "You don't have to" she mumbled still in a state of shock.

"I know I don't, but…I want to tell you. Maybe this way, you can understand me better." I moved over to kneel in front of Katara so she could hear me better and she nodded her head as her way of telling me to begin. I knew I would have to leave out the part of me being the crown prince, but the rest of it I can tell her. "When I was thirteen years old I wanted to go to a war meeting because I really wanted to learn how to lead. I thought by attending and listening to the generals I would benefit from it. The guards wouldn't let me in and Uncle Iroh tried to talk me out of going with no success; he could see how eager I was. Since Uncle was still a general at the time he was able to get the guards to allow me to pass, but under the promise that I would not speak since it was not my place. I agreed—but I was unable to keep that promise." I paused to catch my breath. "I can't go into too much detail about this one plan a General had proposed, but, bottom line Katara, what he had proposed was so appalling to me that I spoke my mind freely."

"Could you at least be a little more specific as to what so I'm not so confused?" Katara asked politely.

I sighed debating my answer. "Sure. Basically the General wanted to use new recruits in a battle as a distraction and I didn't think that was fair. Does that help?" Katara nodded her head yes so I continued. "Anyway, I realized what I had just done and I will say that I was nervous about the Fire Lord's reaction. He said I was being very disrespectful and the only way I could resolve this was to accept a challenge to an Agni Kai." Katara looked like she was about to ask a question and I could guess what it was so I just went ahead. "It's a fire bending duel." Katara gasped. "I'll admit for being thirteen, I was a bit cocky and I accepted saying that I was not afraid of fighting the General. I knew I could take him. Boy was I gravely mistaken. The day of the Agni Kai I turned expecting to face the General, but it was not him." I paused slightly to edit my story. "That day my father had been attending the meeting and I had disrespected him…so I had to duel my own father."

"What?!" Katara shouted. "How can they make you do that? How could your own father agree to fight you? Wouldn't he be trying to make the problem go away so you wouldn't have to fight?"

I wish. "Katara, accepting a challenge to an Agni Kai means you have to follow through with it. But, I couldn't do it. I tried to beg my father for his forgiveness. I told him I wouldn't fight him, but it didn't matter" my voice started to break at this point. "He said something along the lines that by suffering I would learn respect…and the next thing I know…his fist is aflame…and made contact with my face."

Katara gasped again in horror and I saw from the corner of my eye her hands go flying to her mouth. "How could your own father do that to you?" she whispered inaudibly. I still heard her though.

"Because he never cared about me!" I exploded, admitting the truth more to myself than her. "After the duel I was banished from my home with little hope of ever being able to return. Lucky for me Uncle came with me so I wouldn't be alone as I tried to find a way to return home. But I don't think I ever will." The last part I whispered out as my throat felt like it was being constricted. My eyes stung and no matter how hard I tried the tears came.

They flowed freely from my right eye and surprisingly a single tear was slowly trickling out of my left eye. Then suddenly I felt Katara wrap her arms around me tightly as her left hand ran through my hair. And her right hand came to rest on my scar. "Katara—don't" I started, automatically recoiling from her touch. It was a pleasant, cool touch, but no one had ever touched my scar; not that I ever allowed it to begin with.

Instead of listening Katara's grip just became stronger. "Zuko you have nothing to be ashamed of. This was not your fault. Don't hide who you are. This scar proves just how strong you are. And despite what you think—I think you look handsome regardless of your scar."

It was my turn to gasp. No one has ever, ever said that to me; well my mother did when I was younger, but one, she is my mother and two, I didn't have the scar. Katara wiped away the stray tear from my scarred eye with her cool fingers and in the process she stroked my scar, sending small chills down my spine. Then all too soon Katara released me.

Then she looked me dead in the eye as she said, "My turn."

-Katara-

"Your turn for what?" Zuko asked me confused, his right eye still somewhat red from his drying tears.

"It's my turn to tell the truth. This means—I'm going to tell you what happened to me before you found me that night." After Zuko told me about his scar I knew deep down that it is time to tell him and not hold back what was going on inside of me anymore.

Zuko was staring at me as if I temporarily lost my sanity. "Katara you don't need to tell me if you don't want to."

"I know, and a part of me really doesn't want to but," I paused to breathe, "you were right when you had talked about how I need a chance to heal. And I'm never going to heal if I don't talk about it."

Zuko sighed loudly before he took my hand and squeezed it. "Take your time" was all he said as his cue for me to begin.

I nodded gathering my thoughts carefully. "The first thing I remember is waking up with a headache and these three girls surrounding me. One of the girls kept asking me a question over and over until my head was spinning and she became frustrated. I was tossed out into the woods and left there alone. I began to wander around, lost and confused. I would find some berries and would eat them when I got hungry. I don't know how long I was out there by myself, maybe a few days at most, when I stumbled across a campsite. There was no one there, but some part of me told me that I shouldn't stay there. Something about it creeped me out. As I turned to leave and find some place warm to sleep for the night I was grabbed around the waist and a hand covered my mouth before I could even scream." I had to stop briefly to control my breathing and Zuko had begun to rub soothing circles along my knuckles. He was listening, but he didn't appear to be watching me. "The fire bender asked me in this—sickly kind voice, 'Are you lost young one?' I didn't know what to do so I remained quiet. 'Well don't you worry,' he said, 'I'll take care of you.' That feeling kept nagging at me that I needed to run so as soon as he released me I started very quietly, 'Thank you, but I'll be fine' but I never got to finish my sentence because the next thing I know he squeezes between my shoulder and collar bone and I pass out."

My breathing started to become ragged so I stopped until I could breathe normally. "For two months, according to the timeline Han gave you, I was with him; I never knew his name. He made me cook, clean up the campsite every morning, and set it up every night. Whenever we moved on he would bind my wrists with rope and he would lead me through the woods." Unconsciously I took my hand from Zuko and started playing with my wrists where the bruises from the rope burns were still ingrained onto my skin. "If we were near a town he would go, but leave me there with my rope tied to a tree so I couldn't get away. When that didn't happen he would remove the rope and tie it around my waist so if I did anything wrong…all he had to do was yank on it and I would fall back before he would hit me, but only once. Once was always enough for me to start crying; he found it funny" the last part I snarled out.

Suddenly I noticed the flames of our fire growing higher and higher. "Um, Zuko?" He didn't respond. He just kept his gaze ahead and breathed in and out unaware that he was controlling the fire. "Zuko! Calm down!"

"Huh?" The fire immediately went down. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize I was doing that." He breathed out one more time before he spoke again. "Katara?" When I didn't respond he continued. "Did—did he…?"

He didn't need to go on; I knew what he was trying to ask. "No." Zuko nodded sighing with relief. "But…he was going to try…the night I ran away." Zuko immediately stopped breathing. "That night," I began, "he had been drinking and I could see just by the way he was acting that I knew what he was thinking. I couldn't let him! If there was one time I was happy that I hadn't had enough to eat, it was that moment. The rope was around my wrists and by then he hadn't tighten them so my hands just slipped through. He grabbed me roughly by my hair, causing my braid to rip out, and I kicked him with all my might. He stumbled back and I began to run. He got up and grabbed my dress at the shoulder, but I had a running start so that it just ripped and I ran. The rest you know from there. But, Zuko, just so you know," I began to hyperventilate as I spoke faster, "the only reason I didn't reach for you beside the fact that I was scared that I would fall is because I didn't know if I could trust you! I didn't know if you would be like him!" The tears broke loose then and I couldn't stop them.

Zuko grabbed hold of me and pulled me close to his chest as my tears soaked his robe. My hands clenched to his robe as his left hand ran through my hair and his right hand was pressed firmly on my back, holding me close to him. "Shh, Katara, shh. You're alright now. Nothing's going to happen to you" he whispered soothingly. I cried harder, but refused to let go of him. I felt so safe right now. "Katara, I am so sorry for everything you went through. But, Katara, as long as you need me I will not leave you. I will keep you safe and protect you. I will always hold onto you."

Leaning my head back I met his golden gaze. "You promise?"

His gaze never left mine as he whispered fiercely, "I promise."

I smiled a real smile and stroked his scarred cheek once more before I hugged him tightly. Zuko returned the hug just as tightly and I felt him rest his cheek on top of my head. We stayed like that for a long time, comforting each other.

-Zuko & Katara (inner thoughts)-

I can't explain how or what has happened to me. But I do know this: I believe I am falling hard for the person holding me.

Yeah I'm sorry if part of this chapter made you want to cry, but I hope you still liked it. Happy Holidays!