AN: 2.8
Look
It's the first selfless act Linden has done in a long time and it rips her apart.
It's the whole meal deal. She's letting go of the person she loves most in the world, she's admitting to herself that she's failing as a mother and she's conceding to the man she resents so vehemently. But the worst part is that she doesn't know what will happen to her son when he's gone. She doesn't know how he'll be treated and if he'll be a pariah in the so-called new family her ex-husband is bringing him into. She doesn't know how he'll fair without her and she doesn't know how she'll fair without him.
But a mother's love is a force that sways even Linden so here she stands, watching forlornly out the window of the Seattle airport as the plane carrying her son takes him away.
She presses herself against the glass, her instincts still drawing her to him. It's so hard; so, so hard to watch the distance between them get bigger and bigger but she's done this to herself.
She's done this to herself, she thinks.
If only she'd listened to Regi. If only Linden had let Jack stay with her instead of forcing him to leave out of her own pride. If only she'd been there when he had that fever or when he told her he didn't like their motel or when he specifically asked her to stay with him.
If only she didn't do the stupid things she did to put him in danger. What was the best thing she taught him as his mother? How to sneak out a bathroom window when the cops came. That was the best thing she taught him.
The extent of the damage sickens her worse than anything she'd witnessed at a crime scene.
She stands alone and watches as the one person she has left leave for the man who has everything. And she tells herself again that she deserves it.
It's for the best.
It's for the best.
But it still hurts.
It hurts so much.
She wants him back.
Because she's his mother.
And he's her son.
A tentative hand touches her shoulder and Holder tells her 'Little man called to say good bye.' There's a bandage over his right temple and he's a little pale but she guesses that his ribs look a lot worse.
Together, they share the silence. Linden and Holder never shared the same world or the same experiences but they're both people who act selfishly and have hurt those they'd love doing so. He watches the plane disappear into the distance with her and tells her, without words, that she's not alone.
Jack had always liked Holder for some reason. This might be it.
-End-