A/N please don't kill me. I promise there will be Elsanna soon enough!
A boyfriend. She has a fucking boyfriend. What the fuck did I even expect? We would meet and fall in love and everything would be okay? No it doesn't fucking work like that Elsa. You aren't meant to have somebody, you are alone. And you always will be.
Elsa's body was frozen, looking between the two bodies in front of her as they waited for her to say something.
Kristoff made the first move, extending his muscular arm towards the blonde, his raucous voice barely audible over the party in the background.
"I'm Kristoff." He spoke with a smile, his other arm wrapped around Anna's waist.
Elsa tried to get words out, she could feel her walls building back up. Conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show. The words were chanting in her head, her walls built strong and tall around her.
"I'm Elsa." She said, her voice brittle and broken. So much for tall and strong. The blonde ignored the hand in front of her, pushing past the couple in search for Rapunzel. "Have a good party. Anna." Elsa spoke over her shoulder, hiding her tear clouded eyes from the ginger haired girl.
Elsa was desperately pushing past sweaty bodies, her mind frantic as she chanted her words in her head over and over again. Why am I so upset? I just met this girl. This isn't supposed to happen, I should've just stayed home.
Elsa didn't realize where she was going until she her face collided with somebody's backside.
"Hey watch where you're going!" The deep, taught voice boomed through Elsa's ears.
"I'm so sorry." Elsa apologized profusely, running her hands through platinum locks.
The body in front of her turned around and instantly dissolved all anger.
"No that's quite alright, I didn't mean to yell." The voice was softer now, Elsa looked up to olive green eyes that were brimmed with a..sadness?
"I'm Hans. I'm sorry that you ran into my backside." He said with a sideways smirk.
Elsa let out a giggle, "I'm Elsa. I'm sorry for running into your backside."
What are you doing Elsa? Leave! The voice was shouting in her head, but something was holding Elsa to this conversation.
"You look distraught, are you alright?" Hans asked sympathetically, his hand reaching out for Elsa.
The blonde dodged his touch, the idea of somebody caring still foreign to her mind.
"I'm fine, just getting a little claustrophobic here." Yes because lying always works Elsa.
"Would you like to take a walk?" Hans offered, his smile reaching his olive eyes.
Elsa gave a nod and the two made their way through the mosh pit of classmates.
The cool air hit Elsa's face, sending a chill through her body that made her shiver. Hans followed behind her, the cool air making his body shudder.
"The campus looks so barren, it's almost scary." Elsa's eyes gazed across the campus, the moon illuminating light along the grass.
"It's worse when everyone else is gone on vacation, it's almost abandoned." Hans found a spot to sit in the grass, looking up at the stars.
"You don't go home on vacations?" Elsa asked, curiosity seeping into her words.
Hans hesitated, a memory flashing through his eyes as his teeth bit his bottom lip.
"I'm the youngest of 12 brothers, all of which are successful and rich with perfect families. Then..there's me. I don't want to be a Lawyer or a Doctor. I want to be a Businessman, I want to start from the bottom and be successful on my own. That was never good enough for my parents though." Hans let out a hollow laugh as his hand stroked his chin. "Man I remember when they dropped me off at this place," his hand gesturing the campus, "My Mom said 'Oh Hans, maybe one day you'll have a family that actually loves you' and I just- I remember thinking to myself at that moment that I would do everything in my power to prove them wrong."
Elsa was entirely focused on the words coming from his mouth, flashbacks of her own childhood running through her head.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so personal. It's just nice having somebody to talk to." Hans muttered, loud enough for Elsa to hear.
"No it's quite alright, I-I've been through the same thing almost, honestly." Elsa what are you doing? Don't you dare let him in. Don't you dare let down these walls again.
"Do you want to talk about it?" It isn't real sympathy Elsa, get up and leave. Now.
Elsa stammered, reluctant to speak but the words flowing out of her mouth like vomit.
"My parents disowned me. They are religious, very religious and well I'm gay."
She could see Hans's face drop slightly.
"They walked in on me one time with my ex-girlfriend. We were only kissing, but they just exploded. God I was so afraid my Father was going to hit me, but he just looked at me. Disappointment written all over his face, regret sitting in his gaze. My Mother was yelling, calling me these names and I just sat there traumatized. My girlfriend just left, she left me there with them and I couldn't even move to stop her. The whole night my parents just yelled at me, and school the next morning was even worse. My girlfriend had told everybody that I came from this fucked up house and that people should just stay away from me. Every day at school I was bullied, beaten up, and every night at home I had to sit around and watch my parents regret every moment they shared with me." Elsa's voice started to break, her body was shaking and Hans pulled her fragile body against his.
"You don't have to say anymore, it's alright now." Hans shushed the breaking girl in his arms, Elsa breaking apart seam by seam
"I don't want to be afraid anymore." Elsa's voice trembled, her sobs erupting through her body.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You let him in. You didn't conceal. You showed.
Hans just silently rubbed her shoulder, showing her he was there for her.
"Elsa!" It was the familiar voice of Rapunzel. Elsa quickly wiped her tears, thankful it was dark enough that her roommate may not notice.
"Elsa are you okay? I couldn't find you anywhere and I was-" Rapunzel stopped when she noticed Hans.
"Hello, I'm Hans." He extended his hand, which Rapunzel gracefully took.
"I'm Rapunzel. Thank you for looking after her." She turned to face Elsa. "I shouldn't of left you alone, I'm so stupid I wasn't even thinking- this is your first party, on your first night, and I thought you were with Anna-" the sound of her name made Elsa's heart race, "But she came to find me asking where you went." She was worried about me?
Elsa stopped Rapunzel's rant. "It's okay, I'm okay. I met Hans and we just came outside to talk." Elsa flashed a fake smile, Rapunzel noticeably calming down.
"Thank God, I was just worried." Elsa hugged her roommate, who affectionately returned the embrace.
"It's late and I'm tired. I'm going to head back to the rooms." Elsa said, desperate to be alone.
"Do you need me to walk you back?" Rapunzel asked protectively.
"No it's alright, go enjoy your party." Elsa didn't want to drag Rapunzel away from the fun. She was sure she could find it on her own.
"Don't be silly," Hans added "I'll walk her back, I'm heading back that way anyways."
Elsa and Rapunzel both flashed him a smile, Rapunzel pulling Elsa in for another embrace.
"I'll back soon, okay?" She said before turning to head back inside to find Eugene.
Elsa and Hans slowly made their way across campus, walking in sync as they enjoyed the comfortable silence.
"I'm really sorry about crying back there." Elsa's words dripped of embarrassment.
"Don't be silly, it's perfectly fine. Everybody breaks down sometimes, you can't always be strong. It seems as though you've been strong long enough and you don't have to keep pretending around me." Hans replied truthfully.
Elsa simply gave him a nod, the voice in her head screaming at her.
What have you done Elsa? Why are you letting him in? What are you going to do when he leaves or when he fucks you over?
The blonde girl swallowed hard, panic settling over her body. The voice was right, what has she done?
"Looks like this is your stop." His voice sounded disappointed as they neared the girl's dormitories.
"Looks like it is," Elsa added. "Thank you, again."
Hans pulled Elsa into a tight embrace, which lasted while the two of them silently let their demons creep back up on them as they prepared to be alone.
As soon as Han's left, Elsa sprinted to her room. Slamming the door behind her as thoughts of Anna clouded her mind, her face the last thing she saw as Elsa closed her eyes and let the sobs erupt once again.