A/N: Thank you so much for all the feedback! I'm so overwhelmed by the positive response to this story, and I'm trying to get the updates to you as fast as possible while still maintaining quality and not getting fired for writing at work. ;)

TRIGGER WARNING: bullying, some blood, references to self-harm and suicide.

Chapter 4: One Step Forward, Five Steps Back

Regina shows up at Emma and Mary Margaret's apartment late on Saturday afternoon. She's dressed very neatly for a weekend in a freshly-pressed Oxford shirt, and Emma is immediately embarrassed to be seen in the same tank top and sweats she slept in, but Regina doesn't seem to notice. Emma has just finished making a bowl of popcorn when Mary Margaret comes in with several bags of groceries.

"Hello, Regina," she says pleasantly. "How is your weekend going so far?"

"Hi," Regina mumbles like it physically pains her to say even one syllable to the teacher.

"Will you be staying for dinner? I'm planning to make lasagna tonight, if that interests you."

Regina looks like she wants to snap that it doesn't, but her eyes quickly meet Emma's and she just says, "Maybe."

"We'll see how much of the movie we want to watch," Emma quickly declares. "Should we get started?"

Regina nods her assent, and Emma flashes Mary Margaret an apologetic look before leading her guest to the living room. She wishes she could have a crush on a girl who doesn't hate her foster mom quite so much, but the heart wants what it wants.

xx

"Are you the kind of person who hates talking during movies, or am I allowed to make conversation?" Emma asks as the opening credits start.

"What do you think?"

"Well, I assume your viewing habits are similar to your reading habits, so..."

"I'm not normally very chatty while watching movies, but I might make an exception for you," Regina says, and if Emma didn't know any better, she'd say the brunette's tone is almost flirtatious. But her expression turns serious when she says, "As long as you don't mention Gold's class. It's bad enough thinking about it on weekdays."

"I'll keep that in mind."

The two girls sit silently, watching the Bennet family freak out about their new rich neighbors. Emma is sprawled across half the couch with the bowl of popcorn on her lap, while Regina is sitting at the opposite end with perfectly erect posture - Emma is pretty sure her back isn't even touching the sofa.

"Do you ever relax?" Emma asks curiously.

Regina looks confused. "I am relaxed."

"If you say so. What do you think so far?"

"I think I feel horrible for Lizzie and Jane, but I already knew that from the book. Also, it's an interesting casting choice that Jane looks absolutely nothing like the other four sisters."

"Yeah, and that she's supposed to be the most beautiful one, but she's a bit plain and Lizzie is completely gorgeous."

"I think Jane is pretty, too. But that's always how it is in movies and TV; they have to have the most beautiful actress as the romantic lead, or she gets overshadowed and it messes everything up," Regina states matter-of-factly.

The girls are quiet for a few more minutes while the Bennet girls fuss about the ball.

"So, I know you don't want to talk about Gold's class, but I have to ask: why are there only four students?" Emma wonders. "We can't be the only four with magic in this whole town."

"We're not," Regina says reluctantly. "It's not common, but there are a few more at the high school, not to mention some adults and younger children."

"Why aren't the others in our class?"

"Most of them have been at some point, but it's not for everybody. People come and go. Some drop out, some get asked to leave."

"Gold kicks people out? Why?"

"Why do you care? You could just quit if you don't like it."

"Just...curious."

"Lots of reasons. Lack of effort, bad attitude-"

"Sociopathic tendencies?" Emma guesses.

"No, those are actually encouraged. Can we please change the subject now?"

"Okay, tell me about your awesome braid. Did you do it yourself?" Emma asks, studying Regina's hairdo in wonder. The other girl almost always wears her hair in a long French-braid down her back, but this one is a cut above the ones she's seen before, with lots of complicated side sections that must have taken forever.

"Yes."

"Geez, that's amazing. How did you learn to do that?"

"Miss Blanchard taught me, actually," Regina says, suddenly sounding uncomfortable.

"Was it some kind of special geometry lesson?"

"No, not in math class - she used to babysit me when I was little. She'd probably teach you, too, if you asked her."

"Nah, I don't have that level of fine motor skills. You've seen me in archery." Regina smirks. "You could just...do it for me?"

"You want me to braid your hair? Really?"

"Isn't that what girls are supposed to do when they hang out? Braid each other's hair and gossip and stuff."

"I wouldn't know," Regina sighs. "But I will braid your hair for you if you promise to stop talking."

Emma feigns hurt puppy-dog eyes. "I thought you said you'd make an exception for me."

"I did, but your current behavior is the very definition of getting an inch and taking it a mile. Now sit on the floor and shut up - she's about to meet Mr. Darcy."

Rolling her eyes, Emma settles on the floor at the other girl's feet. She'd like to continue talking and flirting, but leaning back with her head in Regina's lap and the brunette's long, graceful fingers running through her hair feels fairly close to perfect. She'd gladly stay silent forever if it meant this moment never had to end.

It's Regina who breaks the silence first. "What do you think about Charlotte Lucas? I've been having trouble deciding if she's supposed to be a sympathetic character or just a foil for Lizzie."

Emma shrugs. "I don't think she's supposed to be a bad person. I know Austen was pretty strongly against settling for the wrong guy, but I always thought Charlotte was just making the best of a bad situation."

"I agree. I just wish...I mean, Mr. Collins? Really?"

"My English teacher at my old school had this theory that Charlotte was actually a lesbian and in love with Lizzie."

"Really?" Regina cocks her head sideways in the way she does when she's thinking hard that Emma finds absolutely adorable. "I can kind of see it. Is this the same English teacher who thinks Lizzie's only in it for the estate?"

"No, that theory is all me, because Pemberley is fucking awesome."

"So you've mentioned."

"I'm telling you, I would totally change teams for that house."

"Do you want to just fast-forward to the part with Pemberley?"

"Do you not like the movie?"

"No, it's...I do like it. But I'm pretty sure the whole point of you showing it to me in the first place was the house porn, and it seems like we still have a few more hours before that happens. And I'm not sure if my mother will believe that Miss Blanchard spent her entire Saturday evening tutoring me."

"Okay," Emma says agreeably, reaching for the remote. "Pemberley sighting and then the happy ending, and we'll call it a day?"

"Sounds perfect. Your hair's finished, by the way."

Emma reaches her hand back to touch Regina's handiwork. "Well, it feels beautiful, but I'll postpone my trip to the bathroom mirror until after the movie, if that's okay."

"You look beautiful, too. I mean, your hair," Regina quickly corrects herself. "Some of my best work, if I do say so myself. But not as beautiful as Pemberley - holy shit!" she says with a sharp intake of breath. "I see what you mean."

Emma is glad that the brunette's attention is entirely focused on Mr. Darcy's house so she can't see her pink cheeks or the huge, stupid grin that won't wipe itself away. She's not sure if it's caused by Regina calling her beautiful or using uncharacteristically coarse language to describe the world's sexiest house.

Emma watches the rest of the movie with her head leaned against Regina's knee. She almost expects the other girl to resist the physical contact, but Regina actually relaxes into it, even gently running her fingers over Emma's new hairdo once or twice. That is, until Mary Margaret walks in about five minutes from the end, and Regina instantly acts like an electric rod has been shoved into her spine.

"I'm about to set the table, and I was just wondering how many places," she says awkwardly. "Regina, would you like to stay for lasagna? I added some red pepper flakes for you."

Regina takes a slow, deep breath before turning to meet the teacher's gaze. "Okay."

xx

After Regina leaves, Mary Margaret beckons Emma to sit next to her at the kitchen counter, expression serious.

"You really like Regina, don't you?" she asks.

"Um, yeah. I'd like to think we're becoming friends," Emma says awkwardly, because she isn't used to discussing these kinds of things with adults in her life.

"Am I correct in assuming you'd like to be more than friends?" Emma keeps her expression carefully neutral, and Mary Margaret continues, "I have eyes and ears. And don't worry, I'm not bothered by the fact that you're interested in girls. It's just...be careful, Emma."

"Look, I know you two don't like each other, but I really don't think Regina is going to do anything-"

"That's not what I'm worried about." The pixie-haired woman sighs deeply, obviously conflicted. "Look, I don't know how much of this is even my place to say, but I've known Regina for a long time, and it's pretty obvious to me that she likes you, too, even...even if it's not in a romantic way. And that's why I want you to be careful, because she doesn't let people in easily, and if you do anything to hurt her, even inadvertently...I just worry about her, that's all."

Emma nods. "I get it. Thanks M&M."

"For what it's worth, I think you've been good for her already."

"You're a really good teacher, you know," Emma tells her foster mom with a smile. "Looking out for a student you don't even like."

"Actually, I like Regina just fine. I've known her since she was a little girl, and she's always been very special to me. She's the one who doesn't like me."

"Care to shed any light on why? I just don't get it."

Mary Margaret's eyes darken. "Without getting into too much detail, let's just say she blames me for ruining her life."

"Did you?"

"Yes," the teacher says sadly. "It was unintentional, but it's the biggest regret of my teaching career, maybe even my life."

Emma's eyes widen. This sounds much more intense than she previously thought. "Seriously? What did you do?"

"Nothing I have any right to tell you about, but maybe she will someday. In the meantime, just...be careful."

"You already said that."

"And I'm saying it again because I mean it."

xx

On Monday morning, Regina arrives in the classroom at 7:30 and greets Emma with as much enthusiasm as the blonde has ever seen her show for a person. She even nods hello to Mary Margaret before opening a brown paper bag.

"The apple trees in our orchard are starting to bloom," she explains, offering each of them one of the perfectly red fruits.

Mary Margaret handles the apple reverently, like it's made of gold, and her eyes are filled with an emotion that Emma can't even name. Emma, on the other hand, immediately takes a large bite of hers.

"This is the best apple I've ever had," she says with her mouth full. "I'm not even kidding."

Regina flashes a shy smile before donning her glasses and opening a thick volume that Emma assumes is about the Salem witch trials, based on the cover illustration. She reads intently while Emma completes her Physics homework and Mary Margaret grades quizzes. The only sound is the occasional crunching of apples.

xx

On Wednesday, Gold has to step out in the middle of class, and all of Emma's senses are instantly on alert. The four girls are each working on different things: Emma is making her backpack float in midair, Zelena's still doing her disappearing act, and Tink is magically changing her hair color. Gold has somehow decided the way to get Regina out of her "slump" is to focus on something completely unrelated for a week, so she's working on the basics of self-healing. Needless to say, it's not going well, but Zelena naturally feels the need to say it anyway.

"It's a wonder Gold continues to bother with you," the older girl observes, leaning lazily against the bookshelf. "I can't tell whether your power is actually that unreliable, or you're just incompetent at using it, but this is sad to watch."

"Then don't watch, Zelena. I'm pretty sure I liked you better when you had poofed out of the room," Emma snarls.

"It seems you've appointed yourself the cow's little guard dog. How sweet. But Regina knows I'm right, which is why she's utterly failing at one of the most basic acts of magic."

Regina flinches, but her face remains stoic, and Emma is proud of her for that. Unfortunately, Zelena isn't too far off about the "utterly failing" part - whatever Regina is attempting to do to heal herself is having the exact opposite effect. What started out as a tiny paper cut on the base of her thumb has become a deep gash running about halfway down her forearm.

"If you're trying to slit your wrists, dear, there are less complicated methods," Zelena taunts. "Why don't you speed it up and finish the job? Just think about all the people it would benefit if you weren't around anymore - or even better, if you hadn't been born at all."

Regina stares harder at her wound, eyes growing frantic as it continues to bleed more instead of less. "Shut up, Zelena," Emma yells furiously. "Regina, you know that's not even true. Don't listen to her."

"Oh, but you know it is true, Regina." Zelena smirks and gets right up in her rival's face. "Think about Dani," she says quietly. "Dani would still be alive if you had never been born."

The effect of this comment is instantaneous. Regina's carefully controlled expression immediately crumbles, and she starts to sway slightly on her feet. Emma swoops in to help the brunette lower herself to the ground before she collapses. The gash on her arm spreads all the way up to her elbow and begins bleeding more and more profusely.

Zelena sniffs in annoyance. "I'll get Mr. Gold - he might find it problematic if a student bleeds out in the middle of class," she says before disappearing in a puff of green smoke.

Regina squeezes her eyes shut as a few stray tears leak out, and Tinkerbell voices the same frightening thought that's popped into Emma's head: "What if she doesn't bring him back?"

Emma bites back her fear and tries to take charge. "We have to stop the bleeding," she says quickly, ripping off her hoodie and tying it tightly around Regina's arm. "Do you know anything about healing?"

Tink shakes her head. "I've studied a little bit of self-healing, but doing it on others is much more advanced magic. She has to think happy thoughts."

"Happy thoughts, Regina, okay?" Emma says gently, crouching in front of the other girl. "Think about something happy. Can you do that?"

Regina just shakes her head.

"Zelena's not in here anymore. That's good, right? And, umm...you got an A+ on the Pre-Calc test. I saw your paper," Emma tries desperately. She doesn't have much experience talking people off of ledges, and never when the stakes felt this high. She looks down and sees the gray fabric of her sweatshirt stained red and brown with Regina's blood and feels like she's going to vomit.

"Emma," Regina rasps, "I can't."

"Yes, you can," Emma says with far more confidence than she actually feels. "You can, and you have to." She grips the brunette's uninjured hand in what's meant to be a reassuring gesture, and at that moment something that feels like an electric shock jolts both their bodies. Emma finds herself knocked sideways by the force of it, but when she sits up, she sees that Regina's wound has completely healed and a bit of color is starting to return to her complexion.

"What the hell was that?" asks Tink, who was thrown across the room by the force of the magic, and Emma only shrugs because she was thinking the exact same thing.

The classroom door opens, but it's Miss French standing there instead of Gold. "I was walking down the hall and heard a loud sound. What happened?" she asks wearily, taking in the three girls sprawled on the floor and the bloodstains on everyone's clothes.

"Nothing. Nothing happened," Regina says quickly, with an angry glint in her eye that tells Emma and Tink there will be trouble if they contradict her. The two blondes exchange dismayed expressions, but they nod along in agreement.

"Okay, then." Miss French sounds like she doesn't believe them for a second. "Just be careful, girls. Magic can be dangerous."

xx

Mary Margaret has to stay late for a math department meeting, which is fine with Emma because she wants to use the walk home to clear her head. She takes a long detour through the woods, taking care to break every fallen stick in her path. When that doesn't work, she stops by the river to throw rock after rock at the toll bridge.

She manages to let off a little steam, but she still has the desire to destroy something, so she takes out the rest of her rage on Mary Margaret's toaster.

An hour later, the toaster is good and destroyed, and Emma suddenly realizes what she's done and that it has the potential to ruin her relationship with the best foster mother she's ever had, and she panics. She finds some tools in a drawer and is struggling to repair the damage when the math teacher finally arrives home.

"Is the toaster broken?" she asks, confused.

"Wasn't when I started with it," Emma mutters. "I'm really sorry, Mary Margaret. I'll replace it tomorrow, I promise."

"Don't worry about it. It pretty much always burned my toast, anyway. Is everything okay?"

"It's - yeah, it's fine. Just...not the greatest day." Part of her longs to spill her guts to Mary Margaret, but she gets the feeling that Regina would really not appreciate it. If her foster mom doesn't stop being so nice, though, it's going to be hard not to give into the temptation.

"I'm sorry, honey," Mary Margaret says sympathetically. "We can talk about it, if you want. Would you like something to eat? I was thinking of whipping up some mac and cheese, or we could go to Granny's or just order pizza."

"Actually, I'm not feeling so great. I might just go to bed."

"Okay. I hope you feel better soon."

Emma looks down so she doesn't have to see Mary Margaret's concerned eyes and quickly retreats into her room, closing the curtain behind her. Then she flops onto her bed and tries to suppress the angry tears that are threatening to escape her eyes. Half of her wants to sprint through the town and find Regina, wherever she is, and just wrap the brunette in her arms and tell her that everything will be okay. The other half wants to break every bone in Zelena's body. Since she can't do either of those things, she settles for burying her face in her pillow and hoping sleep will come take the images from Gold's class out of her head. It doesn't.

xx

The next morning, Regina comes into class at 7:47 and sits right down without acknowledging anyone.

"Hey," Emma whispers. "You okay?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" the brunette answers dismissively. "If you'll excuse me, I have some biology reading to finish before the bell."

Regina quickly turns away and puts on her glasses, and Emma sighs. Apparently, they're back to square one.