AN: I know I've been a bit AWOL lately. I've been focusing on PhD work and doing some European travelling, but I hope everyone is keeping well, safe, and happy wherever you are in the world. Please enjoy almost what I think you've been waiting for.

XXX

When Chloe next wakes, Beca is there.

In her hospital room.

It's such a surprise that her mouth automatically opens to speak, but she just about catches herself before she can activate her vocal chords. Beca. Beca is here, currently standing in the corner of the room and facing away from her as she fiddles with her phone.

Chloe is afforded the opportunity to watch her, taking in the gentle slope of her shoulders under her leather jacket and her loose hair, slightly ruffled by the day, she's sure.

When Beca does eventually turn around, she's surprised to see Chloe awake, offering her a small smile, eyes unreadable.

God. Chloe wishes she could speak.

"Hi," Beca says. "Bet you're wondering what I'm doing here, huh?" She takes a step towards the bed. "I'm not stalking you, if you're worried about that," she says, and then immediately winces. "I probably shouldn't make stalker jokes, huh?"

Chloe just stares her. Gosh, she forgot just how good it feels to be able to look at her.

"My gran is here," Beca explains, stepping closer. "Quinn and Rachel flew her out here. She's seeing an oncologist in the hospital. They're trying to see if she can finish her treatment here because, you know, it's not actually looking good. They want her to live with them. They're actually insane." Her eyes dart away, cheeks reddening. "They're doing it for me, of course. They've already got so much shit going on in their own lives, but they're - " she stops quite suddenly, shaking her head. "I'm sure you don't want to hear all of that."

Chloe lifts her hand, making a rolling gesture to get Beca to keep speaking. Chloe wants to hear everything. It feels like forever since she's heard Beca talk. She wants to know about her life. She needs to know everything she's missed.

Beca shakes her head again. "I was just walking past, you know," she says, "And I saw you in here, and - " she stops again, puffing out a breath. "This was what you were talking about, wasn't it? With all your cryptic questions. I had no idea. You never said anything."

Right now, Chloe's relieved she can't talk, because she doesn't even know what she would say. She has no explanation that wouldn't give away every tender part of her. Beca was too important to tell. They all were.

"I guess we're pretty similar that way, hmm?" Beca says, and her body seems to lose some of its tension. She's a bit more comfortable now. "Holding secrets inside. I told you mine, and now I suppose I know yours."

Chloe can't help her own reaction, hand reaching out. She wants to apologise. She needs to apologise.

"It's okay, Chloe," Beca says, not getting any closer the way Chloe clearly wants. "I think I get it. I obviously surprised you with the whole gay thing. It surprised me too, so you're not alone there. I don't think you're homophobic or anything, but you're entitled to your reaction just as much as I am. I guess I'm sorry if I made it weird, and I'm sorry that I messed up Regionals for all of you. That's on me." She drops her gaze. "You know, after the fight and the suspension, all I could think was there are five people in this world I could call and have them show up for me. Five people I'd even want to call. My whole life, just reduced to five people, and I'm related to only one of them. It was - I just - can you imagine that?" She looks perplexed. "You're one of them, too. Or you were. I don't really know where we stand anymore."

Chloe sits up now. She'll get out of this bed and go to Beca if Beca won't come to her.

Beca clears her throat. "I hope you don't mind, but I kind of met your mother," she says. "She's cool, but like also really intense. Maybe she's just worried about you. Anyway. She told me what the surgery was for and that they're hopeful you're going to recover fully. I just - I wanted to say I'm glad you're okay. I would have brought you something if I knew. Flowers, maybe." She winces. "Maybe not. Don't want to make it any weirder than it already is."

Chloe has no idea how they're supposed to come back from this. It sounds like Beca's already written off everything, which is so far from what Chloe wants, but she doesn't know how to say that right now. She physically can't, anyway.

Beca stuffs her hands in her pockets. "I should get going," she says. "Your mom didn't know when you're being discharged, so maybe I'll see you tomorrow." She steps back. "Feel better, okay? We need you back and chattering away like we're used to, okay?"

All Chloe can do is nod her head. Beca's clearly ready to go, itching to escape from Chloe's presence. They've gone back so many steps, and Chloe doesn't know how to fix this without her voice. The letter. She'll have to give Beca the letter, explaining everything, telling her -

"See you around, Chloe," Beca finally says, and then she's turning and ducking out of the room before Chloe can think of some way to get her to stay.

Chloe suddenly wants to scream. Alone, here, in her bed, she wants to yell and shout and just -

Her fists clench at her sides, her entire body tensing up. It takes everything not to release her frustration, and she forces herself to take several deep breaths to relax.

It's okay.

She's going to be okay.

They're going to be okay. All of them.

If she tells herself enough times, she might even start to believe it.

Grandma Lou is waiting in the oncologist's office's reception area. She's sitting perfectly still, hands in her lap, and Beca aches just looking at her.

All of this, it's so unexpected.

All of this, Beca probably could have done without, but her grandmother is here, and she's sick again, and there's a near-definite chance she doesn't survive this.

Grandma Lou looks up when she notices Beca's arrival. Her smile is a bit sad, but it's still there. "I'm just waiting on some test results," she explains as Beca slowly approaches. "And Quinn's trying to find out the best place in town to get the medical supplies I'll need." She frowns. "Because they're actually serious about this, you know?"

Beca nods, moving to sit in the chair beside her. "I know," she says. "It's crazy. I don't know what they're thinking."

"They're thinking that they love you," Grandma Lou says, as if it's the easiest thing in the world. "They want to do whatever they can to make sure - "

"Please don't."

Grandma Lou places a hand on Beca's shoulder, fingers looking frail and a little blue. She looks nothing like the grandmother Beca holds in her memories, lovely and vibrant and full of impossible stories.

"Beca, my little cricket," she says. "My little grasshopper."

"Stop."

Her hand slides into Beca's hair. "Your mom made me promise always to do what's best for you," she says. "You've always been her pride and joy, and she was so determined to make sure that you live a happy, free, gorgeous life. I thought - no, we thought we were giving you that when you came to live with your father, because I never could."

Beca's jaw tightens, because her life with her father has been none of those things they wished for her.

"I believe we made a mistake," Grandma Lou confesses. "I just didn't know how to rectify it, but I think I've figured it out."

Beca turns her head. "What?"

"My sweet, sweet Beca," she says. "You know all of this is a formality, right? You're smart. Maybe too smart for your own good, but you know, deep down, this is it for Lou Blake."

Beca stubbornly wipes at her eyes, determined not to cry in a hospital waiting room. This is honestly the worst place to be having this conversation. What is her grandmother thinking?

"These tests are only going to confirm what we already know," Grandma Lou continues. "Months have turned into weeks, but I want nothing more than to spend them with you. Will you let me?"

"Gran," Beca says, her voice catching.

"I believe we made a mistake," she repeats, and these words sound important. "But then I emerged from that airport terminal to find a brunette woman with a toddler on her hip, flanked by two beautiful, beautiful blonde babies, and I just knew - knew deep in my battered old heart - that sending you here could never have been a mistake." She looks right into Beca's eyes now. "How else would you have met them?"

Them.

Quinn and Rachel. The Berry-Fabray family. Beth. The Bellas. Chloe.

Aaron.

"I didn't know what to do then, but I know now," Grandma Lou says. "It's taken only one day to know for certain, Bec."

"What?"

"These women will do anything for you," she says. "It's in their eyes, you know, the absolute terror of possibly losing you. I know you don't see it, because you're not supposed to see it, but they love you to the point of destruction. Do you understand that? The power of a mother's love? It's there, every day, and they are so careful to hide it from you. So careful not to show you just how much they want to keep you, in fear of your running."

Beca doesn't know why she's being told any of this.

"They're willing to do this crazy thing, as you call it, because they want us to be able to be together," she says. "We all already know I don't have much time left here with you."

Beca can't be certain what possesses her to say the words, but she opens her mouth and whispers, "I don't think I can watch you die as well," before she can stop herself.

Grandma Lou's face falls, shaking hand moving to cup Beca's cheek. "You are such a brave, beautiful girl," she says, and Beca's cheeks flush immediately. "I'm sorry I couldn't have helped you better with your mother. I'm sorry I can't save you from this, too. But you are strong and you will survive this, and you have a world of support in your corner."

"Don't leave me."

Her smile is the saddest Beca has ever seen. "If it were a choice, you know I would stay forever," she confesses. "Please don't be angry with me."

"You didn't tell me," Beca says, because anger feels easier than the devastation threatening to overwhelm her. "You did exactly what Mom did. Why wouldn't you - "

"Because I cannot stand the thought of leaving you, either," she says, and Beca is still determined not to cry.

She won't.

She can't.

"But it's maybe a bit easier now," Grandma Lou says. "Being here. Getting to see you. Knowing that what comes after I'm gone won't haunt my afterlife."

Beca frowns. "What are you talking about?"

She takes a deep breath. "If I'm here with you, and with Quinn and Rachel, you can be mine again," she says. "I'll be able to take care of you. I can be your guardian again. Even if it's just for the time I have left."

Beca's frown deepens. "But why would - "

"Don't you understand?" she questions. "If you're mine when I die, I'm the one who gets to decide where you go next?"

And, all at once, Beca does understand.

The first thought she has is actually of Matilda from Roald Dhal, then of Beth, and then of Quinn, who chooses that moment to enter the small waiting room, frowning down at the handful of brochures she's holding in front of her.

Quinn, who eventually looks up, and then immediately freezes. "You're crying," she blurts. "You're both crying." She looks around. "Shit. Did I miss the - "

Beca's on her feet before she can stop herself and wrapping her arms around her waist, burying her face in her shoulder and holding on tightly.

Quinn lets out a squeak of surprise, but Beca eventually feels her palms on her back, gentle but present. Her tone is confused when she asks, "Did I actually miss something?"

It's Grandma Lou who answers, Beca not quite ready to let go yet. "Nothing, dear," she says. "Just informing Beca of our plans."

"Our plans?"

"If it's still okay with you both, I'd really like to take you up on your offer to stay with you."

Chloe's next visitor is, inexplicably, Dr Fabray. She arrives just an hour after Beca leaves, Chloe unable to get any more sleep. She's too wired, already mentally plotting how to get the letter she's written to Beca actually to Beca.

And then her coach walks in.

If seeing Beca today was unexpected, then seeing her coach is something else entirely. Dr Fabray doesn't look as if she's just happened upon her. It's definitely not a mistake; she's entered this room with the intention of seeing Chloe.

Chloe suddenly wishes she were still asleep.

"I didn't believe Beca when she told me," Dr Fabray starts, looking very serious. "I wish you'd said something." She shakes her head. "Regardless, I hear it went well?"

Chloe just manages to nod.

"That's good to hear," she says, hands in her pockets. "A lot has happened these past few weeks, hmm?" Her smile is slightly sheepish, making her seem so much younger. "I'll admit I've been preoccupied with a lot of my own things, so I'm sorry if it felt as if you couldn't come to me."

Oh.

Oh no.

Chloe starts to shake her head, because the last thing she needs is Dr Fabray apologising to her when Chloe's the one who's made a mess of her own life.

"The thing is, Chloe, that I've had students before you that I'm certain I've failed," Dr Fabray continues, "So I really need to make sure I don't make the same mistakes with you."

All Chloe can really do is shake her head, which she just continues to do, but Dr Fabray doesn't look as if she believes Chloe at all.

She clears her throat. "It's probably unfair to have this conversation with you when you can't even talk back," she says. "I really just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. You take care of yourself, okay? Heal up well. The Cheerios and Bellas are nothing without you at your healthiest."

Chloe watches, feeling as helpless as she did with Beca, as she starts to leave the room. Without giving it much thought, she taps the rolling table at her bedside to get Dr Fabray's attention. The woman stops and turns to look at her, frowning.

Chloe reaches for Beca's letter, still under her pillow, and holds it out for Dr Fabray.

Dr Fabray, who approaches slowly, hand outstretched. Her expression settles into understanding when she sees Beca's name on the envelope.

Dr Fabray nods. "I'll make sure she gets it."

Chloe says thank you with her eyes, which makes Dr Fabray smile, and then she's gone, leaving Chloe feeling unbalanced once more.

The letter is gone. It's on its way to Beca right now, which means Beca's going to know. She's going to know. There's no going back now, and Chloe somehow has to convince herself this is exactly what she wants.

There's no unringing this bell now.

The text comes from Adult Emma, straight to Rachel's phone, and the brunette knows immediately that the contents are not meant for Quinn's eyes.

It's simple: Kyle's mother is on her way to claim his body. She asked if she could speak with you while she's here.

Until this moment, Rachel has allowed Kyle to exist as a singular being, so disconnected from the rest of the world, and it's right now that she's forced to acknowledge that he was an entire person. He had a life, with likes and dislikes, family and friends.

Rachel texts back: Can I think about it?

Several minutes later, Emma sends Rachel a phone number with the name, Patrice, followed by, She leaves Sunday at noon. If she doesn't hear from you, she will never try to contact you again.

It could just end here, even though Rachel knows they'll be weathering a small media storm for at least the next few days - or weeks. It could just be it, and it's so tempting. But Rachel also -

It's a decision she'll have to make on her own, because she already knows what Quinn will say. Quinn, who is already carrying so much on her shoulders, the news from Lou not at all what any of them wanted to hear.

With a sigh, Rachel saves the new contact, opens the message thread, and -

She closes it before she can type anything.

No.

She doesn't even know what she would say.

She has time.

She can keep thinking about it.

When Quinn gives her the envelope, Beca thinks it's something related to her grandmother at first. But then Quinn says, "It's from Chloe," and her heart lodges itself in her throat.

"Oh?"

"She gave it to me when I went to see her," Quinn explains. "It seems important, but I also need you to know that you are under no obligation to read it if you don't want to. You have a choice."

Beca might have a choice, but the choice was already made for her the moment Quinn said Chloe's name. There's absolutely no way Beca can just ignore this letter, regardless of what it could possibly say.

"Okay," Beca says, and takes the envelope into her hands. "Okay."

"Are you okay?" Quinn asks her. "Today has been - it's been a lot to take in."

Beca leans back in her own desk chair, twisting around to face Quinn properly. They're in Beca's bedroom, Quinn's standing just inside the doorway, watching her carefully. "My grandmother is dying."

Quinn presses her lips together, nodding her head.

"I don't know how I'm just supposed to watch that happen."

Quinn looks a little helpless. "I wish I had the right words for you, Beca."

Beca smiles sadly. "You're a writer," she points out.

"Give me some time, then," Quinn says. "I'll find them."

In the meantime, Beca has Chloe's words, and it doesn't take her long after Quinn has left her to reach for the envelope and pull out the letter. She's not sure she's really prepared for whatever Chloe has written, but she's not willing to wait. If anything, she knows she's waited too long already.

Dear Beca,

The first thing I'd like to do is apologise. For quite a few things, if I'm honest, but mainly for making you feel awful about something that was meant to be beautiful for you. I feel as if I robbed you of something, and I suppose this is my asking for a do-over one day? Soon? Hopefully. If you can forgive me.

The next thing I'd like to do is tell you about Before. I've capitalised it, because it's a time that feels foreign to me. It feels like it was so long ago, but it's been only eighteen months. I know I've talked about Patrick in a very vague way, but I'd really like to tell you about my brother, if that's okay. I don't get to talk about him much with anyone else, but I get the feeling you two would have got along despite your glaring differences.

Remember that one time you told me you didn't trust happy people? You don't trust them not to hurt you, right? I think about that a lot, because I did end up hurting you, didn't I? But you also seem to think I'm happy, so I'm not entirely sure it applies.

Patrick was happy. Like the irritating kind, always so optimistic and planning for his impossible future. He had great, big dreams for himself, and me, and Lucy. I don't know if you know they dated, but he was completely head over heels for her. I think, if they were older, he would have asked her to marry him, he was that convinced they would be together forever. He was always just so sure, you know? Made you believe anything could happen.

And then, I suppose, anything did.

Until his accident, I don't think anyone in my family quite realised how important the role he played in our lives was. He was the glue of our family, bridging us all together. Because, honestly, I can't even remember the last conversation I had with my father that wasn't about breakfast or something mundane like my allowance. Patrick's accident took his light from us long before a rope ever did.

I think I was a more open person before. I laughed more freely, and I wasn't always so conscious of myself. But then things started to shift for me, and I started noticing different things, and it felt like I had to keep myself hidden in order to keep surviving. I've written that down, not quite understanding it, but I think you get it, Beca. I think you understand hiding yourself far better than anyone else in my life.

I couldn't quite figure it out at first. This change. It was just there, buried under so many other things that had changed in my life. Home was like a barren land, and I just needed the outside world to remain the same. But then I arrived at school on my first day of senior year and EVERYTHING was given a shake-up. Cheerleading. Glee. All of it.

And then YOU.

Have I ever told you about Tom? I don't think I have, but all you really need to know is that he is a very attractive boy in one of my classes, and I desperately, frighteningly needed to like him. I think I told myself it would be easier. It would just be less scary if whatever was changing inside of me could be explained away so simply. It couldn't, of course, because Tom is great, but he's not you.

The truth is, Beca, that I am terrified of you. Mostly of the way you make me feel. Before now, I haven't really been able to put into words exactly what those feelings are, but I think I owe us both at least to try. Please bear with me while I try to get this out.

I was attracted to your music first, which is probably the most on-brand thing for both of us. I heard it in the library, just bars coming from an unknown source, and I think I knew even then that the person with this music was a person I needed to know. It caught me only a little bit by surprise that I ended up wanting that to be in a biblical way.

Beca stops reading quite abruptly, her heart racing in her chest. What? Wait, what? What is Chloe trying to tell her right now?

The more I've got to know you, the worse it's become. I didn't expect my senior year of high school to include some kind of crisis of sexuality on top of everything else, but it's something I've been struggling with and trying to work through since the start of the school year. Maybe since I met you, if I'm honest, but I think this is a journey I was on before you ever unwittingly decided to cause chaos in my life.

I've talked to Dr Fabray quite a bit about it. She's helped in ways nobody else would have been able to. I don't know what she's told you - possibly nothing, if I know her well enough - so please don't be angry with her. She couldn't tell me about you the same way she wouldn't have told you about me. If anything, we should get her some kind of gift for keeping our secrets when it had to be difficult not to just help us make sense of everything with one well-timed revelation.

What I know is this: there is a girl who has entered my life and made me realise that the path I was on wasn't the correct one for me. I think I still find boys attractive, but I haven't been able to think about anyone other than you in so long that it might be a hypothesis I have to give some serious thought once I'm out of the hospital. Telling you this truth is more important, anyway, so I really, really hope you've read this far.

I like people, yes.

I like girls, Beca.

I like one specific girl.

I like you.

Frankly, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with this confession now that it's out there. It's the part that's scared me the most; actually having to DO something. I don't presume to know how you feel, but I'm hoping you'd be willing to talk - once I'm able to, of course. I'm also really hoping I'm not actually dead right now. That would be kind of awful, wouldn't it? For you and for me. And, like, for my parents, as well. Yikes.

Anyway. There it is. You showed me yours, so here's mine. I've wanted to tell you for a while, but I never could do it. Until now. Lying in a hospital bed, our friendship in complete shambles. I hope you can forgive me for my fear, Beca. I hope we can at least talk about it and clear the air. I hope you now know that you could never be viewed badly in my eyes, not for any reason. You're still Beca. I'm still Chloe. We can get back what we've lost.

Love,
Chloe

P.S. I wouldn't be Chloe Beale if I didn't at least try to shoot my shot, so here it is: we could definitely get back what we've lost but, if you're at all interested, we could get so much more.

Okay, thanks, bye.

Beca takes a single breath, and then she yells. She can't really explain her reaction, but it seems the most fitting, and it's what draws Quinn to her room, anyway, the woman literally flying through the door as if she's about to aikido someone into submission.

Quinn is allowed only one moment of confusion within the room before Beca is yelling, "You knew about Chloe this whole time?" half like an accusation and the other half fully exasperated.

Quinn relaxes, her body losing its tension. "Firstly, let's maybe not yell like we're being attacked, please and thank you," she says, straightening out her shirt. "And secondly, what did I supposedly know about Chloe?"

"I know you know."

"Know what?"

Beca's eyes narrow. "You don't have to do that anymore. She told me."

"Told you what?"

"Oh, my God."

Quinn grins at her. "So the letter was good, hmm?"

"She likes me."

Quinn's eyes go comically wide, a clear exaggeration.

"You already knew that, though," Beca points out.

"Doesn't mean I'm not still surprised she actually told you," Quinn tells her. "That's big, Bec. Take it from someone who couldn't tell the girl I liked I actually liked her until - well, maybe I'm actually the worst example."

Beca looks down at the letter in her hands. "I don't know what to feel," she admits. "I literally - I haven't really thought about what it would be like if she actually liked me back." She shakes her head. "And she doesn't even know I also like her. Shit, Quinn. That doesn't happen, does it? What the heck?"

Quinn lets out a little laugh. "I mean, Bec, sometimes it does happen."

She puffs out a breath. "Well. Now what?"

Quinn lifts a single eyebrow, and Beca can read it only as a challenge. "I don't know," she says, "You tell me."

And, really, they both already know Beca's going to rise to meet it.

Visiting hours end at eight-thirty, but Chloe is alone in her shared room - even her roommate left her - by six-thirty. She doesn't mind too much, given the awkwardness of generally one-way conversations. Particularly the ones with her mother.

At least Sian brought a deck of cards with her when she visited, which was quite nice. Lucy just came to complain about how much time Nate has been spending with his very female best friend, claiming she understands the two of them are going to be on different coasts in the Fall, but come on. Aubrey brought her laptop with, and the two of them spent an hour watching episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond. But now Chloe is alone and her brain won't allow her to rest.

She doesn't think she'll ever rest again, at this point. Because Beca has the letter. Dr Fabray has to have given it to her by now, which means Beca could have read it already, which means she must know how Chloe feels right now. There's no way Chloe's sleeping again.

It's just after the nurses' shift change when there's a light knock on the room's door and -

Well.

Matty walks in.

Chloe has to force herself to blink, sure she's imagining it, but Matty enters the room, wearing a pair of jeans and one of those t-shirts that looks like a tuxedo. In his hands, he has a small bouquet of flowers, and Chloe has only a few more seconds to wonder what's happening before Beca Mitchell slips into the room behind him.

Chloe's breath catches, because Beca's outfit matches Matty's exactly, a larger bouquet in her hands. Her expression is more sheepish than anything, a blush on her cheeks, and all Chloe can do is just stare at her.

What is happening?

Beca moves further into the room, taking the flowers from Matty and quietly saying, "Thanks for the assist, little dude, but it's up to me now."

Matty needs a little extra nudge to take the cue, and then he's scurrying out of the room, releasing a little giggle. Then it's just the two of them, Chloe now sitting up in bed, and Beca standing a metre away. It feels as if a gulf exists between them, too many things left unsaid.

"Hi," Beca says, taking a tiny step forward. "I brought you flowers, fully intending to make it weird."

Chloe is immensely relieved they disconnected her heart monitor, because the little muscle is going haywire in her chest.

"I got your letter," Beca says, and it takes every cell in Chloe's body to keep breathing. "I was going to respond with a letter of my own, but, well, you know, music is more my thing."

And then the single best thing that could ever happen, happens: Beca starts to sing. It's acapella, just Beca's gorgeous voice singing the chorus of a song Chloe doesn't recognise, and she realises why just moments after Beca has sang the line, "bury my truth in your arms/a hug so absurdly red and blue," because that's Chloe's hair and Chloe's eyes.

Because, holy shit -

"Did you write that?" Chloe blurts as soon as she's finished, and Chloe really shouldn't be speaking.

Beca's eyes widen. "You're talking."

Chloe shakes her head, eyes a little wide as she holds out her hands, hoping it's explanation enough.

Beca reads it for what it is. "Yeah. Don't do that. It's my turn to confess, anyway." Her entire neck is flushed. "And, yeah, I wrote it, with some help from Quinn, whom I'm convinced is like Rachel's professional lyricist. I also have this theory about her act's name, you know, so we should - " she stops abruptly, blush getting impossibly darker.

Goodness, Chloe could just look at her for forever.

Beca clears her throat. "I thought we could have our do-over," she says, "And I could tell you that I'm, like, totally one hundred percent gay." She releases a breath. "I also really like you."

Which is -

Chloe, take a breath.

Release it.

Repeat, indefinitely.

"I have for a while," Beca continues. "I just - I don't know how or if I would have told you that part, so thank you for being braver than me. So, I don't know, when you're out of here and can finally talk again, maybe we could, um, do something." She takes a step closer, Converse squeaking on the linoleum floor. "And this is my asking you out, Chloe. Just to be absolutely clear. You shot your shot, and here I am doing the same, so it would be really great if you could like nod or something, so I know I'm not completely way off base here."

Chloe rolls her eyes, because maybe the gay gene goes hand in hand with the dumb one. She holds out her hand, reaching for Beca, who gets closer immediately, and it is like a balm to a gaping wound when Beca's free hand slips into hers. It's like all the exposed nerve endings in her body just relax, leaving her with a pleasant hum just under her skin.

Chloe tugs gently, bringing Beca even closer. Then she makes a point of looking right into her eyes and quietly saying, "Yes."

"Chloe!" Beca immediately admonishes, which is honestly the funniest thing. "But, okay, yeah, no mixed signals here, huh? We're going on a date?"

Chloe nods her head. "On Saturday."

Beca's gaze narrows. "Stop talking," she says, failing at sounding firm, because, "Wait, this Saturday?"

Chloe nods again. Dr Holding assured her she would be good to go by Friday, so Chloe definitely isn't going to waste another second denying herself this.

"Wow, okay, Saturday, that's in like - shit, that's in three days." Beca looks a bit pale now. "That's fine. I've got a plan. Okay." She nods once, her fingers squeezing Chloe's. "I mean, I don't actually, but I will. I will. You'll see. It's going to be good."

Chloe won't even care. As long as she's with Beca, it's already going to be perfect. She tries to get the sentiment across with just her facial expression alone, and it seems to work because the red returns to Beca's skin with a vengeance. It's one of the greatest things to witness, her little ears turning blood red.

"Okay," Beca says again. "Okay."

Chloe adjusts her grip on Beca's hand, securing it. In this moment, she tells herself that she's not going to be the one to let go first. If she had her way, she would hold on for forever.

When Lou finally says yes, they spend the better part of Thursday afternoon getting her settled into the Mother-in-Law suite in their house. It's got a separate entrance as well, slightly removed from the rest of the house for maximum privacy.

It's also solely on the lower level of the house. Lou makes note of this to Rachel when Quinn and Beca are stocking her little kitchen with a few healthy snacks and approved fruits.

"I don't think I could have handled stairs," she says, eyes tracking Beca's movements. Rachel knows there is still so much Lou and Beca need to say to each other but, at least, this way there isn't any immediate rush. Lou is staying. She'll be able to talk to Beca once they've both managed to take the time to sit with their new reality. Their new normal.

"Quinn's going to install all the railings in the bathroom and by the bed while we're out shopping," Rachel says, looking at Lou. "You said you had a list."

Lou faces her now, looking slightly distressed. "You know there will come a time when I won't be able to get out of bed?"

Rachel audibly swallows. "I do."

Lou looks away again, jaw clenching. "You don't even know me."

"That's only partly true," Rachel counters. "I know you a little bit, and I know your granddaughter a lot, so I think we can definitely make this work."

Lou doesn't quite look convinced. "I'll need to speak with Beca's father," she says, which makes Rachel frown. "There is paperwork I need him to sign."

This is the first time Rachel is hearing about any kind of paperwork. "There is?"

"Toni would have left her with me," Lou says, stepping back and leaning against a wall, looking exhausted all of a sudden. "If I could have taken her then, I would have, but - " she stops, eyes meeting Rachel's. "I could take her now, couldn't I? Here, with you, she could be here with us, correct?"

Rachel doesn't dare let herself hope for such a thing. It would break her heart if it didn't work out the way they all want it to. "Lou, I don't know what you're trying to say."

"I think you know exactly what I'm trying to say."

Rachel swallows thickly.

Lou just about manages a smile. "We should add carrots to the grocery list," she says. "We're going to be drinking a lot of its juice."

If anyone told Beca she would one day be walking into her father's house with her grandmother in tow, armed with paperwork essentially to sign her away, she would have laughed them out of town.

And yet, here she is.

She and Grandma Lou have talked about it quite endlessly, ironing out all the details as best they can. Beca has felt a little caught in a whirlwind with all the upcoming changes - don't even get her started on the whole Chloe situation - but she feels more settled now.

It truly is amazing what it can do to a person's mental state to have Quinn and Rachel Berry-Fabray look you right in the eye and very calmly say, "We want you near."

Which is -

You know.

Yeah.

Beca's just okay, really, perhaps more emotional than usual, but her father agreed to talk when Beca eventually called him back, and now she somehow has to convince him that the best move for all of them is to sign on the dotted lines.

Until a week ago, she's convinced it would have been easier to do it, but she's alarmed by the fact he seems to have developed a conscience, which is just terribly inconvenient for her.

David is alone in the house, and Beca spares a thought for Sheila and Aaron, absently wondering where they are and if it was a decision they made not to be here for this. Beca knows it's been many years since David and Grandma Lou have seen each other - particularly because her father didn't even come to her mother's funeral - so the first reintroduction is cruelly awkward.

"You look good, Lou," David says, which makes Beca wince.

"You always were a pitiful liar," Grandma Lou says in response, and Beca wants to be exactly like her when she grows up.

David's expression pinches as if he's tasted something sour, but he steps back to allow them into the house, and Beca just says, "Hi," as she walks past him, leading the way into the living room.

"Beca," he says, and there's something in his voice she hasn't heard before. It almost sounds like he missed her. Which can't be. He never even wanted her here.

Grandma Lou follows Beca into the room, sitting right beside her on the couch. She reaches for Beca's hand, holding it firmly. They can get through this. They will get through this.

David awkwardly offers them something to drink before he sits, and Grandma Lou just says, "We've come to discuss an important matter, David."

He nods, hands clasped in his lap. "Is this about Beca's Instagram post?"

Beca blinks. What? How does he even know about that?

"Sheila knows, Beca," he explains. "She's not - I don't - it's just complicated, is all."

Only Beca's most trusted people have permission to view her profile, and she doesn't think that any of them would ever show Sheila, of all people. But, then again, it's the internet. If people want to know something, they can certainly find a way to know it. Beca isn't really keen on staying hidden anymore, anyway. She's sixteen. She wants to live her life just like every other sixteen-year-old.

Grandma Lou's expression pinches at the sound of his words. "Well, it's a good thing we're here to make it a lot less complicated for you."

He looks at her now. "What do you mean?"

She takes a steadying breath. "Our intention was always to have Beca stay with me," she says. "If I recall correctly, it was what both you and your wife wanted. Toni, as well, but I wasn't in a position to take her then." She pauses deliberately. "But I am now."

It takes a moment to settle in for him, but then his eyes widen at the sound of what Grandma Lou is saying. She wants Beca, and she wants Beca now.

"I can take back guardianship, David," Grandma Lou explains. "Let me do this for her, and for you and your family. Let me do this for myself, and for Toni. Let me give your daughter what she wants. For what might be the first time in her life, can you do the same?"

When it's laid out like this, Beca has to admit that it sounds so very big. It sounds monumental. It sounds like forever.

He looks conflicted, and Beca imagines a storm going on in his head and heart. His eyes turn to her, and maybe it isn't fair to spring something like this on him, but Beca has been waiting for him to love her and listen to her and just claim her. She's been waiting for him to choose her; to accept her, and it's time for them all to realise that may never happen. He would ask her to keep hiding to keep his wife happy, and Beca is not going to make herself miserable for a woman who is willing to destroy her own son's happiness just to save face.

In the end, David made his choice ten years ago.

Right now, though, he looks right into her eyes and asks, "Is this truly what you want?"

Sometimes, Beca has wondered what it says about her that she would be willing to give up her father; her biological family; this comfort; this security. Other people would do anything for the comfort of this life she's otherwise been gifted, and she's wondered if there's something broken inside of her. Her counsellor mentioned that Beca has attached quite differently to the people in her life, and she's likely already accepted that her father would eventually abandon her. After all, he's done it before.

So has her mother.

Until now, Grandma Lou had, as well, and she's going to do it again.

"Beca," David says, and his voice wavers slightly. "Tell me, is this what you want?"

In her mind, Beca sees Quinn and Rachel now, the two of them sitting nervously on their couch, watching as Beca walked out the door behind Grandma Lou. They hadn't asked Beca to stay, never actually saying the words, but it was so clear in their eyes. They've never asked, and neither has Beca, but this is what is already understood for all of them.

It's what makes the next word out of her mouth both the simplest and most difficult word she's ever said. Because she's choosing her grandmother, yes, but she's also choosing Quinn and Rachel, and that is really the question David is asking, even if he doesn't yet know it.

"Yes."

Things happen pretty quickly after that. There are forms to sign. David doesn't ask again. She's said it once and only once. It's all that's needed.

When the forms are signed, he tells them he'll leave them to it. Give them time to get her things and leave. He can't quite look at her as he speaks, though, but Beca accepts that's a problem with him.

She does say, "I'm still going to see Aaron," because she's not letting him go.

David nods once. "I get the feeling he wouldn't have it any other way." He hovers a moment, and maybe it's become clear to them both that neither of them can recall the last hug they shared.

He pulls her to him now, though, and it is a hug that is a hello, goodbye, and farewell. It's a thank you, too, because he's finally given her what she wants.

And then he leaves the house, and Beca doesn't quite know what to feel. She looks over at her grandmother, who is watching her in return.

"You okay?" Grandma Lou asks.

Beca can't be sure, so she doesn't quite respond. What she does know is that, even if she isn't okay right now, she's definitely going to be.

This is everything she's wanted, after all.

"I'm guessing we can't actually throw a party, right?" Quinn says, frowning down at her phone. She's trying to decide on where to order dinner, having taken the fact their children always want pizza to heart, and then decided to search for a restaurant that offers more than just that. She's feeling like a lot of vegetables, as well, which is really in direct response to the sheer amount of terrible food they've been eating all week.

"For Beca?" Rachel asks.

"Yeah."

"I think not," Rachel says, moving to sit beside Quinn on the couch and tucking herself against her side. "She seems conflicted."

"As in she thinks she's making a mistake?" Quinn asks, frown deepening as she turns to look at Rachel. They've both been a bit restless with Beca and Lou visiting David with a mission of their own. Quinn's just waiting for some kind of call, either to break up some kind of fight, or just help Beca move her things out of the house. "I don't think I could handle the thought of that."

Rachel shifts against her, tucking her feet under body. "No, not that," she says. "I think she's known what she wants for a while. We all have. All of us were just too wary to bring it up until Lou's kind of forced us to address it." It's true, yes, but it still makes Quinn feel a bit uncomfortable. Are they rushing? Will there be a day Beca does regret her decision? Because Quinn is only so strong, and something like that would be difficult to recover from. It would likely break her, and she's already survived so much.

"Okay," Quinn says, "But you still haven't quite explained the conflict."

Rachel turns her head to look at Quinn's face. "I think it's mostly to do with Aaron, but there's also the entire thing where she's actually able to give up her blood family."

Quinn knows a thing or two about blood family. "Do you want me to talk to her?"

"I think you should let her come to you," Rachel says. "There's a lot going on already, and the last thing I want to do is overwhelm her further."

"I'm going to overwhelm her with hugs," Quinn forewarns. "I don't even care. Beca is coming to live with us, Rachel. I want to throw a fucking party."

Rachel kisses her chin, and then laughs when Quinn steals a kiss from her lips. It feels like forever since they've really had any time alone, and Quinn spares a lovely thought for her children, who are currently scattered through the house. Quinn would just like to know when they can spend time together without a ticking clock over their heads.

Rachel must be having the same thought, because she extends the kiss, deepening it and drawing a smile from Quinn. Her left hand lifts to cup Quinn's cheek, keeping her in position.

Quinn bites at Rachel's bottom lip as she pulls away, laughing softly at the sound of protest Rachel makes. "I'm trying to order dinner."

"I'm trying to kiss you."

Quinn spends a moment just studying her face, taking in her features. Then she tosses her phone aside and practically pounces on Rachel. Rachel lets out a delightful little shriek, and Quinn hasn't needed any reminder just how much she loves this woman, but this moment still is.

Quinn will forever exist in the light of her smile and the sound of her happiness. She does not want to exist anywhere else. It would be easy, she knows, to lose themselves in this. Quinn desperately wants to show her how much she loves and adores her. She wants to drop to her knees and worship this woman's very existence.

But.

There are children in this house waiting on dinner, and there is another child about to return, who will need them to be fully-dressed and somewhat levelheaded. But Quinn kisses her with her entire body, injecting every ounce of meaning into the action.

All too soon, though, they hear a car pull into the driveway, and Quinn forces herself to retract her hands from where she's sneaked them under Rachel's blouse. Just in time, really, because Emma and Mia come running down the stairs, screaming about Beca.

"She's back! She's back!" The two of them go flying out the front door, Quinn rising to her feet to follow. And, indeed, Beca is back, along with a large suitcase and several boxes. Watching her, she looks both big and small, and Quinn just wants to wrap her in a hug and assure her everything is going to be okay.

She needs to convince herself first.

With the kids helping, they manage to get all of Beca's belongings into the house and up the stairs to her bedroom. Quinn tries not to crowd her, lest they do indeed overwhelm her, because that is the absolute last thing she wants to do. But she does claim several hugs, which Beca willingly gives, always releasing an amused breath into Quinn's shoulder.

As far as all the changes in their lives have been happening, it's mostly a normal night. While Beca gets settled in, Quinn orders dinner and makes sure Lou has everything she needs in her little suite. Rachel oversees bath time like a true champ, and then they settle at the dining table like they always do.

It feels different, though. Quinn wouldn't have been able to explain it until this moment, but this time here with Beca -

It feels permanent.

It's a thought she keeps to herself for now, though. She's patient. She's waited this long, and she'll wait as long as Beca needs.

When Beca does eventually find her, Quinn is replying to emails in her study. There's all sorts of talk about an actual book tour, and her team is trying to schedule a time for her to go to Los Angeles, all while trying desperately to keep the knowledge of their involvement to a minimum with regards to Kyle. Quinn isn't looking forward to returning to school. She would love nothing more than to keep her entire family in a little bubble, protecting them from the outside world, but Quinn tends to be rooted in reality.

Most of the time, at least, because one of her dreams has literally just come true.

Quinn's door is open when Beca appears in the doorway, looking a bit uncertain. She's wearing her pyjamas, looking far too adorable for Quinn's little heart. She can admit that they're likely going to go through a bit of a transition period here. Beca is now living with them. This is her home now, and Quinn wants to give her the space to discover where her comfort levels lie. She hopes they can just keep talking to one another and figure it out as life happens.

But now Beca is here, hovering in the doorway, and Quinn just wants to give her a hug.

Instead, she says, "You can come in, you know?"

"Are you busy?"

"Nothing that can't wait," Quinn says, closing her Outlook and giving Beca her full attention. "What's up?"

Beca takes a tentative step inside. "I was wondering if I could ask you something."

"Of course."

She shuffles forward, Quinn watching her silently. She slips into one of the armchairs opposite Quinn, fingers twisting together in her lap. "Um."

"Is everything okay?" Quinn asks, her own nerves burning under the surface of her skin. "Are you feeling overwhelmed?"

Beca lifts her gaze to meet hers. "A little," she admits, "But not really for the reasons you might think."

"What am I thinking?"

"Not quite Edward Cullen, I'm afraid."

Quinn grins. "And there I was thinking you were way too young for a Twilight reference."

"Nobody's too young, right? I'm pretty sure my mom was a Twimom, actually."

"Oh wow."

"I'm embarrassed even admitting it."

Quinn's smile softens, her heart beating a little too fast in her chest. "So, what's up?" she asks, trying to brace herself. She thinks she's ready for whatever Beca is going to say, but it becomes immediately clear that is not the case at all.

Because Beca very suddenly blurts, "I'm going on a date with Chloe."

Quinn already knows this. She was literally there at the hospital with Beca and Matty. But okay, this is what they're talking about now. Really, Quinn should have known better about Beca's current thinking. "You are."

Beca audibly swallows. "I didn't - I never really thought I'd ever make it this far, you know? Like, it just never occurred to me she'd ever even want that at all, and so I've - I just haven't - "

"Beca?"

"I've never been on actual date before," she forces out, immediately flushing a deep red. "And I just - it's Chloe, you know? I need it to be perfect."

And Quinn gets it, of course. She's been there, a few times. First dates can be nerve racking, but the one thing she wishes she knew was that, if the girl likes you enough, it barely matters just how successful the date is. But Quinn gets the feeling Beca wouldn't believe her if she were to say that, anyway, so she doesn't bother.

Instead, she leans forward, elbows on her desk, all her attention on Beca. "Okay then," she says, "I can definitely help with that." She pulls up a note on her computer. "What are you thinking?"

Beca wouldn't say she's so much physically exhausted than she is emotionally. It's been a rollercoaster of a week already, their mid-semester break coming earlier than expected, and in the absolute worst way. Because there was an active shooter in their school.

That happened.

Her mother once sat her down and talked to her about it in that terribly frank way that Toni Mitchell could do. Beca's known something like this could happen from a young age, but it just never really occurred to her that it actually could happen to her. Because it did, and she knows there are details behind it that are so inexplicably linked to Quinn and Rachel in a way she's not quite prepared to learn.

For now, she lies on her new bed in her new bedroom in her new house with her new family, and she desperately tries not to feel overwhelmed by it all. She's had to pinch herself a few times, because this truly is a lot of change for one teenage girl. Honestly. What does the world expect from her?

She's still staring up at nothing in particular, soft music playing from her Bluetooth speakers, when her phone starts to ring near her head, drawing a frown from her. She could probably count the number of people who would ever actually call her on her one hand, and two of them are currently in this house.

She lifts the device to find that Beth is trying to FaceTime her, and a tired smile automatically pulls at her lips as she answers with a soft, "Hey."

The first thing Beth says is, "Let me see it."

Beca's smile widens. "Hello to you, too," she says again.

"Yeah yeah," she dismisses. "I want to see it. Show me."

"Show you what?"

"Our room."

Beca laughs, sitting up properly. "It's my room."

"You can keep telling yourself that, but we both know what's yours is mine, babe," she says, grinning. It's just as late in New Haven, and Beth is clearly already in bed, her hair loose and her face scrubbed clean.

It strikes Beca just how young she actually is. Almost twenty-five, she really has the rest of her life ahead of her. They both do. Endless changes and all.

Beth sighs, shifting to get more comfortable in her bed. "So."

"So."

"They basically Matilda-ed you, didn't they?"

Beca's heart stutters in her chest, because, "Yeah, I guess they did."

"How are you feeling?"

"Ask me again tomorrow."

"I will."

Beca looks around her room, taking it all in for the umpteenth time. "It doesn't feel real yet," she admits. "Everything. This whole week. My Gran. Quinn and Rachel. Chloe. All of it. Shit, Beth, it's like it's all happening to someone who's not me." Beca can't be sure how much she already knows about what's happened here in Lima, but it suddenly becomes clear that Beca's going to have to fill her in.

But she's just so exhausted.

"Let me show you the room," Beca says now, because she can do at least that much. She switches the camera around, showing Beth the top bunk. "Before you shit a brick, that's your bed."

"Hah. I knew it!"

"Quinn knew we'd want each other close, huh?"

"She knows far too much."

"It's honestly a little bit scary," Beca says, thinking about her earlier conversation with Quinn about her date with Chloe. They came up with all sorts of ideas before crossing them out based on the logistics of being able to pull them off in one day, as well as just general desire. For now, there are three options left on the table, and Beca has half a mind just to let Chloe decide.

Right? That's being considerate. And Chloe literally just had surgery. She should get to pick what low-key, stress-free date in which she wants to participate.

"But she's also the same person who couldn't quite figure out that Rachel liked her back for just as long as Quinn liked her." She rolls her eyes now. "So, she's actually hopeless, really."

"Yeah."

"But she loves you," Beth tells Beca, as if saying those words is the reason she even called in the first place. "They both do. We all do."

Beca doesn't think she'll suffer some kind of breakdown moment, but Beth's words get her dangerously close. She can feel tears prick at her eyes, her heart beating that bit faster.

"Including Chloe," Beth adds, because maybe she can tell Beca is seconds from completely losing it. Not that her chosen words really help.

Beca just sputters. "She does not."

"Oh, Bec, you didn't see the heart eyes that girl was giving you," Beth says. "It was honestly indecent."

"Beth, please."

"I'm just telling it how it is."

"Well, nobody actually asked you."

Beth just grins at her, and Beca grins back.

"You called me," Beca finally says.

"I know," Beth says, soft and a bit sleepily. "I'm getting to it, jeez."

"What?"

"I just wanted to tell you 'welcome home.'"

Beca's breath catches.

Oh.

That's what that feeling is.

"Thank you," Beca whispers, suddenly relieved that, of all the people who could have said those two words to her, it's Beth. Beca can't quite explain it but, for some reason, it had to be her. "Thank you."

Beth's smile is a little knowing, which is maybe why she says it again. "Yeah, Bec," she says. "Welcome home."