Ezio hasn't been sleeping at all well, lately. He has dreams- nightmares, but not the kind he can ever remember in the morning. He knows they must be bad, though. Every time he wakes up, it's to aching, overpowering feelings of being trapped and alone.
At first, he tries to ignore it. The dreams could be natural, after all. No matter how he looks at it, he's getting old. He should be in his own century, enjoying whatever time he has left of his life with Sofia. Instead he's here, still working. He should be done by now. He deserves a rest, and it's no surprise that he feels a little lonely.
… only, that's not what's going on. It's something different, something deeper, and it has him worried. It doesn't help much that the dreams first started the same day he got Desmond's apple. The thing refuses to listen to him, or do anything more than act as a translator. Altair's tried to reassure him that it's normal, that it took him months to get it to do anything, and that when Desmond tried to do something with it, he accidentally switched Connor and Haytham. It doesn't help.
It's not just that Ezio doesn't know how to use the apple, although that's true, too. It's that the apple is pretty good at using itself, and that's something neither apple has ever done before. The nightmares. The apple. It's trying to tell him something.
"Ezio?"
He looks up and there's Connor, looking more than a little concerned. The two of them, along with Haytham, are at the apartment, waiting for Altair to get back. The plan is for Rebecca and Shaun to follow him back, because they really need to have a talk about Abstergo before things go any farther.
"Yea?" Ezio asks, and tries a smile. It doesn't feel right.
"You're glowing," Connor says, and Ezio looks down at himself. Bright silver light radiates from every bit of exposed skin. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Ezio says.
"What's wrong with your apple?" Connor asks. "I've noticed it does that sometimes. When you're sleeping."
"You watch me when I'm sleeping?"
"It's a small apartment and you glow," Connor says. "We've all noticed, but Altair said it would be better not to say anything."
"But you decided to ask me about it anyway," says Ezio. Connor stays silent, and his only response is a steady stare. Ezio sighs and gives in. "Fine. It's the apple. It's… trying to tell me something, giving me nightmares, alright?" He feels a little foolish admitting that these nightmares have him running scared, but if Connor's judging him for it, he hides it well.
"What kind of nightmares?" Connor asks.
"I don't know," Ezio admits. "I never remember them when I wake up, and I don't really want to."
"Maybe that's the problem," Connor says. "I don't have an apple. I don't know how they work. But maybe if you stop blocking it out, the apple can just deliver its message and go back to leaving you alone."
Ezio doesn't answer for a long time. Then- "Maybe."
"I'll tell you when Altair gets back," Connor says, and moves to the door.
"You think I can just drop everything and figure this out now?" Ezio calls after him. "It's been bothering me for months."
"Then it's about time you get it worked out," Connor says, and leaves the room.
When he's alone, Ezio grumbles a bit, but closes his eyes. Maybe Connor has a point. He takes a deep breath, and opens his mind to the apple.
Cold, dark, alone, endless pain, burning burning burning up from the inside and the outside and everything's gone, there's nothing left just pain and darkness and this is forever, it goes on and on and never ends, there's no one else, there never will be, maybe there never was, and maybe it doesn't matter, all that matters is the pain and the cold and the dark, and who am I anyway, no one, everyone, too many people and none of them are me, and where am I who am I WHO AM I
Ezio opens his eyes, breathing heavily. It takes him a second to remember where he is and what's going on. He's still in the apartment, but the lights have shifted and he can tell it's a few hours later than it was when he closed his eyes. He gets up, stretches muscles that feel stiff and heavy, trying to sort through what the apple chose to show him. This entire time, they've been using the apples as tools, or weapons. But this…
"It's not a thing," Ezio says. He says it aloud, because maybe then he can believe it. "It's…"
But here he stops, because he has no idea what it is. All the times he's had people inside his head, he knows the sound of other peoples' thoughts. That's what the apple showed him. It's living inside him. Living.
And he's not sure how he feels about that.
It's almost midnight when Altair comes in from the other room, and for a while neither of them says anything. Ezio sits on the bed, trying not to act like his entire world has just been turned upside down. Altair pulls up a chair and sits facing him. Finally, Ezio breaks the silence. "Sorry I missed Rebecca and Shaun."
"Basically they're looking for a place called the Observatory." Altair gives a long sigh. "And they recruited one of Abstergo's IT men to recover data for them. I'll give you the details later, but what happened here?"
"I don't know," Ezio says. "But there's something… wrong with the apple."
"Wrong?" Altair repeats.
"It's in pain," Ezio says. "It's…" he shakes his head. "It's asking for help."
For a very long time, Altair doesn't answer. Then he says, "That's not possible. The apples can't be in pain. They aren't alive. They're tools, incredibly powerful tools that I don't think humans could reproduce, even in this century. But they can't think. They can't ask for help."
"But it did," Ezio says.
"It's not possible," Altair snaps, and for a while they glare at each other, neither one willing to back down. Then Altair sighs, and his next words are calmer. "I'm not saying you don't know what you're doing with the apple, because I don't either. But you've had problems with yours since the second it picked you back at the temple. It doesn't do anything for you other than translate."
"Yours doesn't even do that anymore," Ezio says, which he knows is a weak response. The only reason Altair's apple doesn't help him with English anymore is because he took the time to actually learn it when they decided he'd have to be the one to infiltrate Abstergo. The apple's glowing would have been a giveaway.
Altair ignores the comment. "My point is that whatever you think you heard, or saw… it can't have been real."
"Altair…" Ezio leans forward slightly. "It was screaming."
"Fine," Altair says. "If you're convinced, I'll believe you. Do you think you can find out more?"
"Yes. Maybe." He doesn't want to do that again, not at all. The apple gave him more than words earlier, it gave him the feelings, too. The sense of loss, of pain, of loneliness- it's like nothing he's ever experienced before. It's like someone dying in his head, over and over, every single second. He doesn't want to go back, but he can't just walk away knowing that the apple is still inside him, still feeling… that. He sighs, rubs his face, and looks back at Altair. "I'll let you know."'
-/-
I'm really excited about this stuff with Ezio's apple. I've been waiting for ages to get to this part. Now I just have to not mess it up. :|