Return to Memory
Chapter 13: A Delicate Balance
Disclaimer: I still don't own Doctor Who.
Rose blinked in surprise when she was addressed by a stranger. A man with short, dark hair and a confident grin was running towards the TARDIS with alarming speed. The gun that had been in her face was quickly lowered and she tried to back into the TARDIS to avoid the strange situation that seemed to be arising. The Doctor had gone incredibly tense beside her, and when she glanced at his face, she had never seen him so alarmed. Her head was pounding and everything about the man was so wrong. He was a fact, a solid place in time and it hurt her just to look at him. How could he possibly know them? And to address her so informally, he surely knew them. Why couldn't she remember, then? The world blurred for a moment and she was lost in another vision.
Explosions all around, the air smells like smoke and dust and despair. Her feet dangle high above the ground. She holds on for dear life, looking up at the balloon holding her.
A beam of light, a new voice and a friendly face. She trusts him. Lets go and is saved. The man is not impossible then, he is young. A dance in front of a large clock tower and a jealous man in a leather jacket.
Time. Golden light and power, familiar power. It haunts her dreams.
Death. And then life.
The Doctor was sure that this could not have gone more horribly wrong. Why would the TARDIS land them in here? She knew as well as he the circumstances surrounding Rose's memory. The last thing he wanted was for someone who remembered Rose to be scaring her and jarring her memory too quickly, and Captain Jack Harkness was definitely the last person he had intended to take her to see. He frantically tried to signal to Jack with his eyes to stop, but the man was intent on sweeping them both into one of his monster hugs. In a last, frantic, effort to stop him, the Doctor did one thing he most certainly never did. He reached into Jack's mind and yelled, loudly.
"STOP!" Jack did indeed stop at this, and looked at the Doctor with a small measure of alarm.
"What the hell, Doctor? I'm just giving you guys a hug. I knew you were possessive, but damn..."
The Doctor glared at him. "She doesn't know you. And it's important you not make her remember. You could hurt her. I'll explain later" The Doctor thanked his lucky stars that 51st century humans were capable of minor telepathy.
Jack's eyebrow furrowed in concern, but he recovered quickly and smiled his most flirtatious grin at Rose.
Who was currently looking at him like a dog listens to a high pitched sound. Her face showed a measure of horror and fear at the man before them, and she was trying to subtly back into the ship. If the Doctor had not been standing behind her, she would have made it.
"Rose? Are you ok?" The Doctor asked, concerned.
Her vision cleared and she looked up at him, disoriented and confused but incredibly grateful that the wrong man had stopped and seemed to be staring at her instead of touching her like she was sure he was going to do earlier. "He's wrong. So wrong, Doctor. How can you stand it? Who is he? Why does he know me?"
Jack took this moment to step in. "Captain Jack Harkness, my lady. At your service."
Rose looked at him with some measure of concern. The Doctor wasn't running, however, and so neither would she. They appeared to be friends. She wouldn't back away from this. She wanted to fit into the Doctor's world. She just wished he had told her she would be meeting a friend. "Rose Tyler. I'm the Doctor's courting partner. And what, may I ask, is your relation?" She reverted to her most formal form of speech, still trying to ascertain the Doctor's opinion on him. He had tensed at first, but was now relaxed. She figured that meant he was safe.
Jack laughed. "Why, Rosie, you don't have to be so formal. I'm the Doctor's brother!"
The Doctor glared at him. Confusing Rose further was not the goal either. He was relieved to see a bit of the old Rose shining through. She didn't seem afraid anymore.
Rose put her hands on her hips. "That is certainly not true. You are not Gallifreyan. I can hear your single heart."
The Doctor laughed at Jack's bemused expression, watching as Jack put his hands over his heart as if he could muffle the sound. "Rose, he's one of my very dear friends. So much so that I call him my brother."
She relaxed a little more and took a few steps toward Jack, bowing slightly. "It is an honor to meet one of my partner's dearest friends." Jack laughed and went to hug her when the Doctor's voice in his head warned him not to touch her, but to bow in return. He did so, sending the Doctor a 'you are so explaining later' glare.
Rose was relieved. Though the man still hurt to look at, she could accept that the Doctor loved him and therefore she would love him, too.
The Doctor needed a moment alone with Jack, so he could explain the situation. He hated to let go of Rose even for a moment, but she couldn't hear this. He hadn't realized until just that moment how desperately he needed someone to talk to, other than Jackie. "Rose, I forgot to mention, there should be some clothes in the wardrobe for you. Would you like to play a little human dress up today?"
She smiled and nodded. The few times they had visited here, she had wondered what wearing the otherworldly clothes would be like. She hurried back into the TARDIS, leaving the Doctor and his brother alone.
For the first time ever, the Doctor was the one that threw his arms around Jack. It had been far too long since he had had a true friend to talk to. He hadn't realized how much he had missed him.
"Whoa, Doctor!" Jack said, while somewhat eagerly returning the hug. "I know I only get handsomer with age, but you're acting a little weird. What's going on? Why doesn't Rose remember me?"
The Doctor sighed, pulling back from the hug. "That's just it, Jack. She doesn't remember me either."
"What? She seems to know you pretty good, Doc. She did call you, what was it? Oh yeah, a 'courting partner'. What was that about? You take her to meet Jane Austen and she got possessed by a book?" he teased.
The Doctor shook his head, once again allowing the magnitude of what Rose had done for him sink in. "No, Jack. She is really my courting partner. She brought it all back, Jack. She brought it all back and she doesn't even know how amazing she is for doing it. She doesn't remember doing it."
Jack frowned and led the Doctor to sit in one of the nearby chairs, sitting next to him. "What did she bring back, Doctor?"
The Doctor looked back up at him, and Jack knew why he seemed different. That never-ending sadness, the dark despair that had always been in his eyes, was gone. And then he answered with such happiness in his voice that Jack's heart leapt for him. "Gallifrey."
"What? Your planet? She brought back an entire planet?" He couldn't believe it. Though she had made him immortal. The things this woman could do. And she had always thought herself not good enough for the Doctor.
"Not just my planet, Jack. My people. My friends and my culture. My family. I can feel them all alive in my mind. The beautiful song of the vortex and the protection of Time isn't up to me to handle anymore. She changed history, Jack. She erased my greatest regrets and gave me more than I could ever have hoped for." His voice shook.
Jack laughed. "That woman! She's a bloody miracle, isn't she? Then why doesn't she remember?"
The Doctor shook his head. "I don't know, but I have a theory. I think she will remember. Her memories are there. She is mentioning stuff she shouldn't know, saying things that don't make any sense. Sometimes she stares off into space and every time she looks at me as if she has seen something new."
"And how did she know I was human? All she did was look at me." Jack asked.
The Doctor grinned wide. "She's Gallifreyan too, now. And she made me young. You're looking at a Time Lord with 12 regenerations left."
"And why can't I touch her?" He asked.
The Doctor sighed in frustration. "Bloody prudish race, we are. Can't touch members of the opposite sex unless we are married. I asked her to court me, though. Since she said yes, she granted me the right to touch her hair. She moved into my house with me yesterday."
Jack grinned lasciviously. "You allowed to touch any of her hair?" That earned him a glare.
"I'm doing this right, Jack! This is my chance to court her properly. When she remembers, I want her to know that I showed her every respect my culture would give a queen. I love her, more than anything in the universe."
"And you haven't even kissed her yet?" Jack asked, leaning back in the chair.
The Doctor smiled lightly, remembering the temple before her wish. "Yeah. I have. But that was before she did this. Actually about ten minutes before."
"So, when is she going to remember?"
"I'm not sure. She may never remember. But that's ok, because she still loves me. Even though she doesn't remember all the adventures we had before and all of the times we risked our lives for each other, she wants to be with me. That's enough for me." The Doctor said softly. The TARDIS was alerting him that Rose was heading out. He stood from his chair and Jack followed.
"That's good Doctor, but I hope she remembers." He said, giving the Doctor a gentle clap on the back.
"I do too, Jack. I really do."
As Rose headed out of the wardrobe room in an eerily familiar outfit of jeans and a grey hoodie, she got the distinct feeling that she had been sent away. It was not a good feeling. She had spent the past few days in a somewhat hazy euphoria, forgetting part of who she was in a submissive housewife role. It wasn't that she didn't love the Doctor, but she was a strong and intelligent woman and she didn't like the idea of being sent out of the room so the men could talk. She had given up a lot of dreams in her life, but perhaps she didn't have to anymore? She didn't have to work now, not with the Doctor supporting her. Perhaps she could take this opportunity to do something with herself? Perhaps something she had been denied a long time ago?
She heard the Doctor talking to Jack as she neared the doors of the TARDIS and waited a moment before exiting.
"...she wants to be with me. That's enough for me."
"That's good Doctor, but I hope she remembers."
"I do too, Jack. I really do."
What were they talking about? Remember what? A scene suddenly flashed in her mind.
She pushed up the sleeves of her grey hoodie and grabbed the chain hanging down, swinging herself over and knocking down the dummy, sending the anti-plastic into the pit. The building began to crumble as she found herself in the leather-clad arms of the blue-eyed man she had met the day before.
"Now we're in trouble" he said.
He grabbed her hand and they ran. After that she couldn't stop.
Were these visions real? Were they memories? If that was the case, why wasn't he telling her about them? Who was he to her, then? What made her forget? Her heart ached horribly at the possibility that the Doctor wasn't who he said he was. Then she remembered his words to Jack. It was enough that she wanted to be with him. Perhaps, then, she wasn't who she thought she was?
She pushed all of this to the back of her mind for now. She would worry about these things later. Her courting partner was waiting and she wanted desperately to see him.
Two hours later, the trio found themselves in a bit of a sticky situation. And Rose was the only one that could save them this time.
A/N:
I feel like every post is an apology for such a long update wait! If it's any consolation, I made straight A's my first semester of Pharmacy School! So let's hope the rest of my 7 remaining semesters go as well! Thanks to all my faithful readers for continuing to read my work :) I'll have a bit more time this Christmas break, so I hope to get a lot of writing done. I'll do my best!
With love,
Doctorrosetyler