A/N: Thank you, as always, for your kind words. I always look forward to hearing what people think.
Chapter 12: Weakness and Strength
What the hell was that? Emma thinks, fingers rubbing her lips in confusion. Did Regina actually just kiss her? Was that real? If it was, why the hell didn't she kiss her back?
"Regina!" Emma calls. "Wait!"
The scarlet flush of Regina's cheeks when she whips her head around answers at least some of her questions. "Emma, I'm so sorry," she whispers, looking at her feet, the wall, anywhere but Emma's eyes. "I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean to - I should have asked. I shouldn't have assumed you felt the same way."
"Felt what way?"
"Felt...I don't know. You were just being so kind, and with everything just falling apart, I think I read more into it than was actually there. I'm sorry, Emma. You're the best friend I've ever had, and I don't want to ruin that. Can we just...forget this ever happened?"
Blinking back tears, she turns to enter Gold's room, but Emma grabs her arm. "Regina, what are you talking about? You think I didn't want that?"
Regina inhales sharply. "Did you? You seemed..."
"You just took me by surprise; that's all. I've wanted to kiss you since pretty much the first time I saw you. I just didn't think you would ever reciprocate."
"Really? I thought I was making my feelings pretty obvious over the last few days."
Emma gives a small, embarrassed laugh. "I guess I'm not used to anyone expressing those kinds of feelings toward me. I told you, none of my other relationships have been...meaningful. And now I've made you cry and completely fucked up my first kiss with a person that I actually care about."
"You didn't fuck it up," Regina argues, wiping the tears from her cheeks. There's a teasing spark in her eyes as she continues, "The kiss itself wasn't too bad, if I do say so myself."
"You know," Emma says slyly, placing her hands gently on Regina's waist, "I've heard the second kiss is always better anyway."
"I've actually heard something like that, too." Regina raises an eyebrow and smiles. "First kisses are usually awkward. Should we try again?"
"Yeah, let's test this theory."
Breathing deeply in anticipation, Regina grabs Emma's shoulders and pulls the blonde down to her own height before pressing their lips together in a kiss that starts just as soft and sweet as the last one but quickly becomes more forceful and filled with longing and something else Emma can't even name. Regina's hands clasp around the back of her neck, her fingers tangled in messy blonde curls, and Emma pulls the brunette's body flush against her own before lifting her slightly off the ground. The quietest moan comes from the back of Regina's throat as the kiss deepens.
Emma isn't sure how long they've been at it when she starts to feel she might pass out from lack of oxygen. Regretfully, she slowly draws her mouth away, fairly certain that her heart skips a beat as Regina's teeth run along her lower lip. The other girl's breathing is ragged and her lips are swollen and redder than normal.
"Theory correct," she gasps.
Emma rests their foreheads together and tries to catch her breath. "That was...holy shit!"
"You're so articulate," Regina teases.
"You're so...I don't even know."
"Well, this is very sweet." The pair instantly spring apart at the sound of Gold's voice. "But you're both going to be late for class."
Smiling sheepishly, Emma follows Regina, who is apologizing profusely to their teacher, into the classroom, only to come to a sudden stop when she realizes another student is present, and it's not Tinkerbell.
"What are you doing here?" Regina growls.
Zelena just smirks. "I was a bit worried about you, after our little altercation yesterday. You took quite a fall. I had to come see for myself that my little sister was okay."
Regina smiles sweetly. "I'm fine. Are you?"
"Yes, I see you're doing quite well, thanks to our dear friend Emma. As for me, well, I'll be better in a few minutes."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, Regina," Gold says in an uncharacteristically cold tone. "You really never do learn your lessons."
"I - what?"
Suddenly, Gold disappears in a puff of dark purple and red smoke and is replaced by Cora Mills. Emma feels her knees buckle in shock - so this is what shape-shifting looks like. Regina's shoulders tense, but she refuses to cower before her mother. Instead, she holds her head up and shifts her body in front of Emma's, protecting her.
"Hello, Mother," Regina says quietly.
"Hello, dear. I was just having a lovely talk with Zelena."
"Oh, that's...nice."
"Yes, I was just expressing my regret that circumstances left me unable to keep her when she was born. I would have been so proud to have her as a daughter." I'm sure you would have, Emma thinks. You could have had so much fun being a mother-daughter magical sociopath team. "Especially," Cora continues with narrowed eyes, "because my other daughter has been such a disappointment to me."
Regina flinches. "I'm sorry, Mother," she says quietly, unable to hide the pain in her voice. Emma surreptitiously raises a hand to rub her back, which Cora thankfully doesn't see.
"Yes, well I suppose you can't always help it, with your spineless father's blood running through your veins. Though, I did think there was hope for you yet, with him no longer part of your life. I thought you might be able to fulfill my dreams for you. But, alas..."
Her courage buoyed by Emma's touch, Regina sticks her chin up stubbornly and says, "Do what you want to me, Mother. I'm not afraid of pain anymore - you know that." Glaring disgustedly at Zelena, she adds, "And I'm certainly not afraid of you."
Zelena rolls her eyes. "Pretty words, but experience suggests otherwise."
Cora laughs darkly. "Oh, you foolish child. Have you not figured out what I'm going to do? I should hope that by now, I know exactly what you're afraid of."
"I-" before Regina can finish her sentence, her body is suddenly flung to the side. There's a loud thud as she hits the wall, and ribbons of wallpaper shoot out to tightly restrain her. Emma stares, horrified, until she realizes that with Regina no longer shielding her, she's now face-to-face with Cora Mills.
"If you don't struggle, dear, they won't hurt you," she tells Regina with a dismissive wave of her hand, which only makes Regina struggle harder against the bindings on her wrists and torso.
"Emma, she's going to - Emma, you have to get away!" she cries.
"Enough!" Cora snaps her fingers, and another strip of wallpaper springs out to cover Regina's mouth. "I thought I'd taught this lesson well enough the first time, but apparently I did not. It's really a shame; Emma, you seem like a bright girl with a decent future ahead of you. I'm sorry you had to be collateral damage of my daughter's failure to grasp that love is weakness."
Love is weakness - does that mean...? Emma gasps as she infers the meaning of Cora's words - probably not quite the meaning she intended them to have. She doesn't have time to think much about it, though, because Cora's hand is reaching out and suddenly it's inside her chest. Despite being gagged, Regina is screaming so loudly that Emma is afraid her eardrums might burst, but it's nothing compared to the pain in her chest as Cora squeezes and tugs at what she can only assume is her heart.
She supposes she should wonder how this is even possible, but all she can think about besides the pain are the tears streaming down Regina's cheeks and her friend's agonized screams as she watches her mother destroy yet another person she cares about.
Loves, Emma corrects herself. Regina loves me. It's the desperate thought she clings to as Cora gives her heart another painful tug. Zelena gasps and Emma sees a confused look cross Cora's face, and then she notices something interesting: it's not coming out. She smiles triumphantly and tells herself one final time: Regina loves me.
"Love isn't weakness," she tells Cora. "It's strength." With that statement, a burst of white light comes out of Emma's chest and Cora is blown backwards across the room before she's covered with purple smoke and disappears. Gasping for air, Emma lifts a hand to feel with relief that her heart is still there, though it's pounding so hard it feels like it might jump out on its own.
A shell-shocked Zelena looks around the room in confusion before snapping her fingers to release Regina from the wall and disappearing herself. Emma thinks that they'll probably have to worry, at some point, where both of them went, but for now, she can feel her heart beating in her chest, and Regina is in her arms, and even if it's just for a moment, everything is okay.
xx
"Mary Margaret, we need to go home. Now," Emma demands. She marches into her foster mother's classroom, dragging a no longer crying but still shaken Regina behind her.
Mary Margaret is standing by the window filling the bird feeders, but she immediately drops what she's doing and approaches the pair with a concerned look on her face. "What happened?" she breathes, taking in Emma's panicked expression and Regina's glassy, haunted eyes.
"The mayor happened," Emma mutters. Mary Margaret sighs and wordlessly pulls both girls into her arms, and Emma allows herself to rest her head on her foster mom's shoulder for a moment, surprised by how natural and comforting it feels.
"Is anyone hurt?" Mr. Nolan asks, and Emma jerks her head up, wondering when and how he got into the classroom. Why had she not noticed him before? Well, she supposes she had other things on her mind.
He's looking at Emma, and the blonde realizes with a start that she's expected to answer. She has to, since Regina hasn't uttered a single word since Zelena let her down from the wall. "No one's hurt," she says, grimacing. "Not physically, anyway." Mary Margaret gulps and shoots a worried glance at the girl on her other side, who is standing stiffly, neither accepting nor resisting the embrace.
"Where's Mr. Gold?" the math teacher asks.
Emma shrugs. "He wasn't in class. Neither was Tink, actually. Someone should find her."
"I'll get Mother Superior and get right on that," Nolan promises. "Mary Margaret, are you okay with...?"
"Yeah, go on, David. I've got this." Nolan jogs out of the classroom, and Mary Margaret turns back to the two girls. "Let's get out of here, okay?" Emma nods and gives Regina's hand a light tug, leading her unresponsive friend out of the building.
xx
Mary Margaret flits nervously around the apartment like one of those birds she's so fond of, cleaning things that aren't even dirty and never turning her eyes away from the two girls on the couch. Emma has to admit she shares her foster mother's worry. She's seen plenty of scared and upset Regina over the past few days; she knows how to handle the tears and trembling hands, but the brunette's current stillness is unnerving. The only sign that Regina has any awareness whatsoever of her surroundings is her bone crushing grip on Emma's fingers that grows even tighter when the blonde so much as shifts her position.
"Hey," she says quietly, sweeping her un-crushed thumb along Regina's forehead. "You want to tell me what's going on in there?" No response. "Okay, then," Emma mutters.
"Emma, what happened?"
"I told you already," Emma says impatiently. "Cora disguised herself as Gold, she said some things, Zelena said some things, Cora tied Regina to a wall and tried to rip out my heart, and when she couldn't, she disappeared. That's about all there is to it."
"I know, but - why was she ripping out your heart? Did she say anything? Do you have any idea why she couldn't? Did-"
"M&M, will you please let it go, at least for now?" Emma begs with a nervous glance at Regina. It's not that the brunette has given any indication that she's listening to the conversation, but replaying the events over and over can't be great for her. It's certainly not great for Emma - she'd personally rather forget about everything that happened in Gold's classroom today, though she knows she can't.
"Fine," Mary Margaret sighs, plopping down on the couch and taking Emma's other hand. "But I would like you to see Dr. Hopper again at some point in the near future."
"I think that's already been decided."
The trio sit in uneasy silence for a while, until Mary Margaret's cell phone rings and she and Emma both nearly jump out of their seats. Regina doesn't even seem to hear it.
"It's David," Mary Margaret says, sighing with relief. "Hello?...She is?...Okay, I'm glad to hear it. Yes, I'll tell them...Okay, good...I don't know. I was looking forward to it, but I think maybe that's not such a good idea tonight...Yes, we can definitely take a rain-check...Of course, I'll ask them...Okay, I - bye, David." Mary Margaret hangs up the phone with a faraway look in her eyes, which she quickly shakes away. "David says they found Tinkerbell. She had decided to stop studying magic with Mr. Gold and train with Mother Superior instead, which makes more sense anyway, so that's why she wasn't in class today."
"Tink's okay?" Regina asks, suddenly snapping to attention. Emma is a little surprised that that's what did it, but then she realizes it's the first piece of solid good news they've heard since the incident.
"Yes, she's with Mother Superior right now, along with Mr. Gold and Miss French and some others, I suppose, trying to figure out what to do about..." Mary Margaret's voice trails off.
"About my mother," Regina supplies, eyes dark.
"Yes," Mary Margaret says apologetically. "They're worried she's a danger to the town, and...I'm so sorry Regina. I don't know what's going to happen, but-"
"It's fine," Regina mumbles. "This is all my fault; I don't want her to hurt anyone else."
"This isn't even a little bit your fault," Emma argues.
"Emma, she almost killed you today! Because of me!"
"She almost killed me today because of herself, because she's-"
"Emma," warns Mary Margaret. Emma shuts her mouth, reminding herself that this woman is Regina's mother, even though she'd personally take dying of hypothermia at the side of the road over being raised by her. She's not sure how the hell Zelena's childhood could have been so bad she'd be envious of having Cora Mills as a parent. Maybe she should feel sorry for the older girl, but she's hurt Regina a few too many times.
"By the way, Mr. Nolan is going to drop by in a bit with Granny's takeout. Do you want anything?"
"Not hungry," Regina mutters.
"I can always go for a burger...and fries...and a milkshake. Chocolate. Large. Mostly just the milkshake. Come on, Regina, are you sure you don't even want a milkshake?"
"I've never had a milkshake before."
"You've never - well, that is a problem that we're going to fix tonight. Mary Margaret, this woman needs a milkshake!"
"Regina, I can cook if there's something else you'd prefer. I know you don't usually-"
"I'm fine," Regina snaps, but a second later, her face morphs into a contrite expression. "I mean...thank you, Miss Blanchard, but I really don't have much of an appetite today," she mumbles, squeezing her eyes shut and taking deep, controlled breaths.
Mary Margaret looks at Regina apprehensively, like she's a bomb that might explode at any moment, and Emma supposes that in a way, she is. She really is trying so hard to hold it in, though; that much is obvious.
"So, Mr. Nolan, huh?" Emma says, wiggling her eyebrows. "It seems like you two are spending a quite a bit of time together lately." She hopes Mary Margaret will go with it and the total change of subject will do the trick.
Mary Margaret blushes. "No, he's just...just a friend," she says sheepishly while typing a text to him.
"I heard his divorce was just finalized. Are you getting back together?" Regina pipes up, sounding legitimately interested in the teacher's response. Whatever thoughts in her head are causing her turmoil are momentarily forgotten.
"No, we're just-"
"Back together?" Emma exclaims. "His divorce? M&M, you have this whole sordid dating history I know nothing about!"
"Oh, I'm sorry," Regina says quietly. "I didn't realize-"
Mary Margaret shrugs. "It's not a big secret or anything, but I do feel guilty gossiping about my love life at a time like this."
"Gossiping about your love life is probably better than most of our other potential conversation topics," Regina points out.
"Yeah, so spill!"
"Fine. It's not much of a story, though. We dated in high school, but we broke up senior year and went our separate ways. He got married, I...didn't. We both eventually moved back to Storybrooke and became coworkers and good friends. Which is still all we are."
"Okay, I'll totally believe that's all there is to the story," Emma says sarcastically. One look at Regina's face tells her there's plenty more, but apparently no one is willing to share. Some say that small towns have no secrets, but Emma has discovered that small towns have many secrets that are closely guarded from outsiders. Which she still is. "I'm pretty good at eavesdropping; you were planning to go out with him tonight."
"Yes, I was planning to eat dinner with him, as friends. People eat dinner with friends all the time."
Regina looks down at her lap, the hand that isn't attached to Emma's fidgeting with her skirt. "Sorry for ruining your date, Miss Blanchard."
"What? No, it wasn't a date. Anyway, you hardly ruined it. Last I checked, you aren't your mother, and you certainly aren't responsible for any of her actions."
"Unless you are her and you're shape-shifting right now. Was it too soon for that joke?"
"Curses, you've discovered my secret," Regina says, attempting a playful smile.
Emma gently leans her head on the brunette's shoulder for a moment. "Regina, you know you're my favorite, and I really like holding hands with you, but I'm starting to lose feeling in my fingers. Also, I kind of have to pee, so unless you want to join me..."
"Oh." Regina looks down with wide eyes, shocked she's still holding Emma's hand. She lets go reluctantly, almost as if she's considering the offer, and says, "Hurry back."
"Always."
While she's in the bathroom, she hears a knock at the apartment door. Raising one eyebrow, she checks her watch and thinks that Nolan must be really eager to see Mary Margaret if he's bringing dinner over at four thirty.
But then she hears Mary Margaret - calm, kind Mary Margaret who never loses her temper or uses rude words, or so she thought - growl, "What are you doing here? Get the hell out of my apartment," and she rushes back out to the main room so fast she's pretty sure the water's still running. Regina has a fireball in her hand and Mary Margaret has drawn a bow (Where the hell did that even come from? She doesn't remember seeing one lying around.) and is aiming it at the front door.
And standing at the front door, Emma sees none other than Zelena Thropp.