Chapter Twelve - He Could Have

"Hey babe. Got the evening off. Lucky me right? ... Anyway I was thinking we could order some movies on Netflix. Cook a good meal and waste away our Saturday night. Ok. Call me when you get this. Bye."

Liv dials Brian back but he doesn't pick up. She rolls out of bed with a hangover from yesterday's memories.

Since her last flashback, Liv has been getting a clearer picture of the events that lead to Lewis's subduing. She remembers him taunting her while he was handcuff to the bed. She remembers him telling her things about his sordid childhood. She remembers not being able to control her rage when he wouldn't shut up. She also remembers channeling Elliot for ways to hurt Lewis. That is all.

The flashbacks and the lost memories leave Liv with so many unanswered questions. Why can't she remember anything else? Why are the memories coming back to her in distorted flashes? Is her subconscious hiding something horrible, something unimaginable about her ordeal? If so, what was it? Sometimes certain memories are blocked out by victims to protect themselves from additional and unbelievable trauma. What is she blocking out?

Liv hears the apartment door opening. She walks out of the bedroom just as Brian's entering the apartment. "Hey." Brian has a brown bag of food in his hands.

"Hey Bri." Liv takes the bag out of his hands and makes her way to the kitchen.

"Thanks. You get my message?" He follows her to the kitchen.

"Yea." Liv unpacks the groceries. "I uh. I called you back but I don't know.. You're here now so that's all that matters. So how'd you get off so early?" Liv hands Brian the first item she grabs from the bag, the almond milk.

"Bomb threat. Gotta say? I love those." Brian opens the fridge and places the milk inside. He looks up to find Liv disturbed by what he just said. She grabs celery and more things from the bag, in a beat. "I'm joking. I mean I'm sure it was bogus right? Plus it's not the first time it's happened." He grabs the celery and egg cartoon from Liv's hand.

"So I was thinking we be lazy all day? I mean you requested it so we're allowed" She opens the cabinet and places the Special K cereal inside.

"Sounds good to me." He places the celery and egg cartoon inside the fridge. "Oh there's that Jennifer Lawrence movie that just got added to Netflix. You were talking about seeing it soon so."

Grabbing the last item, a loft of ginger bread, Liv unexpectedly sneezes. "Oh. Excuse me."

"Gesundheit."

"Thanks. Hope I'm not getting sick." She places the ginger bread in the same cabinet as the cereal.

"If you do get sick..." Brian grabs an apple from the fridge before closing it, "I'll take care of you."

Liv smiles. "I'm not a nice person when I'm sick Bri. You may wanna reconsider."

Brian chuckles. "I told you. You don't have to be anything for me Liv." Brian means that from the bottom of his heart. He kisses her on her forehead and heads to the living room.

"So shall we begin our lazy day now. I mean it's still early." She looks over at him from the kitchen.

"It's not early." He takes a seat on the couch.

"Bri, it's only two in the afternoon." She opens the fridge and grabs a weird colored and weird looking smoothie.

"Been up since four a.m Liv.. Trust me. It's not early." He bites another bite of apple.

"You're right." She makes her way into the living room, sits next to Brian, and takes a sip of her 'smoothie'. For seconds, Brian watches her drink the green colored smoothie. He's amused. She feels his eyes on her and turns her face in his direction. A look of annoyance yet tolerance comes across her face. "What?"

"Hey? That sewage looking stuff? ... What the hell is that?" He gently grabs the drink out of her hands. Sniffing the drink, Brian lets out a laugh and makes a funny face, "Seriously Liv?"

"What? Come on Bri. Ok sure it's a little disgusting. But? It's healthy. Detox. It's better than beer right." She grabs it back with more force.

"Nothing's better than beer." He chuckles. "Well. Except sex." He instantly regrets this comment. Not being able to look at her, Brian lets out a deep breath. "I mean..."

"Please.. You're allowed." She sips her drink. Brian's a man. He's a very sexual man. Liv knows that it has been over two weeks since they made love. Two weeks can seem like forever for a man. She isn't angry by his comment. "Please don't do that."

Brian looks at her with compassion. "Don't do what?"

Liv places the drink on the end table and turns her body towards him. They sit inches apart from one another. So close that their faces almost touch. "Don't spare my feelings. Don't walk around on egg shells-don't? Don't treat me like I will break. I'm not that weak Bri."

Brian agrees and smiles. "Liv you're the strongest woman I've ever known. Before and after..." He picks up her drink and puts down his apple. "I could never see you as weak..." He studies the green liquid in the glass, puts it to his lips, and takes a sip. He makes the ugliest face then spits the drink out on his carpet. "That. Is. Disgusting." Brian spits profusely. "Jesus," he yells. Liv finds this incredibly amusing. She hates that she's laughing at Brian's expense. However, his reaction and the faces he's making is hysterical to Liv. She's laughing and she's trying not to laugh. Laughter. It's a horrible feeling to fake a laugh. It's an incredible feeling to hide a real laugh. "Something funny Liv?" He asks in a playful tone.

"I'm sorry..." She tries to control her laughter. "I'm sorry Bri but..." More laughs come out of Liv. She can't talk. Brian looks at her, smiling, while pretending to be annoyed. She finally calms down but not before letting out a snort. "Wow. Sorry. You shouldn't drink things that isn't your own beer man."

"Well I learned my lesson-wait? Did you actually just snort?" He laughs.

"Oh no don't turn this on me. The jokes still on you." Taking a deep breath, she glances at Brian's smile. She puts her head down and her face turns serious. Brian studies her demeanor. She looks at him and tears fill her eyes. "Thanks for making me laugh."

He wants to kiss her but he settles for hand holding. She wants to kiss him as well. Kissing is a nature thing. She feels like a young girl instead of an experienced adult. What happens is she kisses him? What's so horrible and so horrifying about a little old kiss? Without warning, Brian is taken by Liv's soft lips.

She pulls back with tears in her eyes. "He could have." Brian is confused. He wants to know what she means but doesn't ask. Liv knows he's puzzled so he doesn't have to ask. "He could have raped me... I was always out. Maybe he did."

Brian's heart sinks. He stares at his girlfriend as a tear drops from her eyes. It was something that he dreaded the second he learned about William Lewis kidnapping Liv. He tried to ignore I but he always knew... Sick son of a bitch raped her.

To Be Continued...