Chapter Fifteen - Work In Progress

One month later...

Olivia is moving on with her life. Those four days in mid-May were the days that flipped her reality upside down. Those days forever changed the beautiful detective. She still carries it in her mind like it was yesterday.

Making the decision to see a therapist was Olivia's first real step towards recovery. After Brian found her curled up on his floor a month ago, he persuaded her to be hypnotized. He figured the hypnosis would bring out the buried memories and any doubts of her being raped. She, in turned, decided therapy would be enough. If hypnotized, she may really learn if Lewis went that far. Nights that haunted her she yearned to know what she could not remember. Other nights that haunted her she yearned to never remember what she could not rememeber. Liv didn't know what was worse; remembering that Lewis raped her, or not remembering that Lewis raped her...

Dr. Lindstrom advised her to go out and do different things. Change her old routines and start anew. Lately, Liv has been baking not successfully, mastering yoga (between bouts of fustration from the interrupting city noises), discovering her new faith in the higher powers (which she has Brian's mom to thank for that), and attending kickboxing classes. They are all a work in progress but, then again, so is Liv.

Something Dr. Lindstrom told her that she found completely profound. Something that she carries with her daily... The saying 'It gets better with time' may not be so accurate. It's what you do with that time that makes it better.

She's also coming out of the limelight to reconnect with her, new and old, family members at SVU. However, the more she connects with her coworkers, the more she longs to return to the only job she's ever known. It's a process to progress.

Brian is still at her side. Every Friday, they go out for a date night. Every Saturday, they stay in and cook for one another. Every Sunday morning, they attend mass with Brian's mom. On weekdays, Brian is usually working. When he works long hours, the two of them have phone dates.

Last weekend, Liv and Melinda [M.E Warner] had lunch. It was nice to catch up with an old face. Brian has been amazing with Liv, but she needs to vent to someone else. Also, she knows that Brian needs his space. She knows that he has a life too. They've been inseparable for a month and then some. Plus, when two people spend as much time as they have together, they get annoyed with one another.

They cooked together, went out in the world together, and talked on the phone a great deal. But, also? They've argued a lot with one another. It's always the small things that started their arguments. Brian never puts down the toilet lid. Liv tosses his razors and other personal items aside to scatter her make up all over the bathroom counter. Brian never washes his dirty dishes. Etc, etc.

All in all, Olivia's life had finally gotten back on track. The nightmares were coming less and less. Her bruises were now all faded. She could breathe without feeling any pain. She could urinate without feeling a burning sensation. Brian touches her, kisses her, and she doesn't jump out of her skin. The flashbacks, along with the memories were all coming to her less and less.

Things were changing for Olivia mentally as well. For weeks, Liv had been thinking about her sexual relationship with Brian. There were times when she would lie up all night, aroused and wet. The more she thought of it, the more she encouraged herself to act on it...

Tonight, after Brian gets home, Liv plans on seducing Brian. She wants to feel his love so close, so intimate. Body to body. Naked and exposed. Her desires overwhelms her. Just a few weeks ago, thinking about sex made Olivia physically ill. Thanks to therapy and time, her sexual desires have returned.

"Hey babe." Brian enters his dimmed lit apartment to find candles and rose pedals decorating the entire apartment. John Legend's music plays softly. "Liv?" Brian calls out as he curiously takes in his surroundings.

"Hey." Liv comes out of the bedroom without warning. Brian's eyes gazes at Liv, captured by her radiance. Liv makes her way towards him. She's wearing his T-shirt and has his favorite perfume, she owns, sprayed all over her body The One by Dolce and Gabbana. She must have went to her hairstylist earlier. Everything about her is beautiful. There is no way that he's taking his eyes off her. There is no way he'll be able to take his hands off her.

"Hi." Brian walks closer to Liv, brushes her hair back, and smiles. "Hey beautiful."

"You like what I did to the place?" Her sultry yet sassy voice run chills down Brian's spine.

"I like what you're wearing. I uh." He begins kissing her neck. "I like how you're smelling." He grabs her chin and kisses her lips. "What's up Liv?"

"Shhh..." She shushes him with her index finger. He melts as he feels her finger touching his lips. "Don't talk." Liv's soft lips grazes Brian's peppermint scented lips. He easily becomes hot. It's when she begins passionately kissing him, Brian's nature rises. He wraps his arms around her waist.

Their tongues make hot steamy, quite juicy, love. Liv doesn't want him to stop, Brian doesn't want to stop. However, in the heat of he moment, Brian pulls back. "Hey." He grabs her chin, she's confused as to why he's stopped. "Hey, you sure about this?" Her sensual brown eyes burn into Brian's erotic gaze. Liv takes a deep breath, looks towards the floor in a blank thought, and nods her head. She's ready.

"Ok. Ok." He caresses her hair and is relieved when she doesn't flinch. "Hey. What I said to you. When you moved in here a month ago. The love thing, right... Look, I meant it. I wasn't trying to scare you or rush into anything. Hm? .. I mean it, k? And look. I can't imagine my life without you. I'm kinda here to stay and-"

Liv cuts him off, "Brian, stop talking." She continues to kiss him but this time, she also unbuckles his belt. In turn, Brian grabs her ass.

As they kiss, their eyes are opened. While staring into each other's eyes... His hands gripping her soft and bare butt. Her fingers inside of his jeans preparing to stroke him hard enough to salute his penis. His fingers, now sliding between her legs. Her mouth's seductively sucking his neck. His two fingers index and middle now entering her vagina. Her fingers finally meeting his hard penis. His two fingers penetrating her soft and right. Her eyes rolling back as pleasure overtakes her. His grunting. Her moaning.

"Wait." Liv says above a whisper. She takes her hand off of his penis. Although he hates it, Brian takes his fingers out of her.

"Did I hurt you?" Brian says in extreme panic. He slowly takes two steps back. His loose and unbuckled pants falls to the floor. His penis pointing in her direction.

"That's not what this is." Liv takes one step further and begins to unbutton her shirt. As she disrobes, Brian refuses to blink.

Her shirt falls to the floor. She takes three steps closer to Brian. He undresses quickly. Liv bites her lips. He pulls her closer. She feels his warm penis grazing her skin. He picks her up and carries her to the bed.

Everything begins to happen so fast. Brian throws her onto the bed.

Immediately, Liv's mind takes her to the beach house where Lewis also threw her onto a bed.

Brian climbs on top of Liv, not noticing her face. It's dark and dimmed. He slides down to taste her. He begins to lick her clitoris.

Liv silently panics. A lost memory has popped inside of her head. It was Lewis kissing and licking her vagina while she was out.

Brian doesn't waste anytime as he comes from under. He spreads her legs open and teases her by slapping his penis against her vagina.

Liv tries to control herself but her body involuntarily trembles. She's sweating. She doesn't want to stop this because she started this. She wants Brian to be sexually satisfied. She knows it's not her fault if he isn't, but she still feels a tad guilty.

Brian gently enters Liv, and after one thrust, she pops up. "Fuck," Liv says loudly. Brian gets off of her, frustrated.

Fuck. Fuck Lewis for touching her body. Her body belonged to Brian to her. Fuck Lewis for permanently invading her thoughts. Fuck Lewis for destroying her sexual desires. Fuck Lewis for damaging her to the point where it's impossible for her to reach any kind of climax. Fuck Lewis for making her a victim.

Liv begins to cry as Brian gets out of bed. She feels his anger towards, not her, but the situation. He leaves the room without saying anything. Liv holds herself. She grabs a pillow to keep from screaming. Brian gets into the bathroom and masturbates. It only takes him a small amount of time to ejaculate.

When he returns to his bed, he finds Liv curled up in a ball. He climbs in bed and holds her. They both continually apologizes to one another until Brian falls asleep. She isn't going to sleep. She has to battle with the memories of Lewis. She has to accept this person she's trying so hard not to become.

To Be Continued...