CHAPTER 8 : STEP ONE

The three of them made their way to the main exit and out into the chilly afternoon air. London always made Merlin anxious as he preferred open spaces. He knew that if he had to work in the City he would have to live somewhere with trees and parks.

Arthur had hailed a cab and they were in no time, driving along roads enclosing leafy green squares. Merlin smiled, this was a part of London he could get to like. Each square was surrounded by Georgian houses with black and white tiled stairs and the compulsory brass kick plate and door knob on the black door. The taxis stopped in front of one such house.

Arthur got out and settled with the cabbie while Merlin and Lance stood on the pavement staring up at a very elegant house.

Arthur laughed, "Wipe the surprise off your faces, I don't own the whole house just the flat on the second floor. Come on in!" Leading the way, he opened the door and they entered the hall. It had been renovated. They walked up one flight and Arthur unlocked the door on the right and they walked into a beautiful room with high ceilings, and lovely windows overlooking the park.

Giving them a quick tour, Arthur explained that he had three bedrooms but one was his office. He also had a living room, small dining room and a large kitchen. "You'll have a choice where you spend the night, this is the guest room…it has an ensuite." He opened the door; they could see that it had two large beds. He continued, "This is the office but it does have a sofa. So, you can take your pick."

Lance said, "We can share the guest room, right Merlin?"

Merlin nodded, "Suits me fine!" They dropped off their bags and followed Arthur back into the kitchen. Merlin was impressed; he knew that his mother would have loved to have such a modern set up in their Swansea house.

"Beer, soft drink, coffee or tea? I got theatre tickets to The Three Senses… It's on stage at the Regency…been very well received. We'll eat first, see the show…and if we want go to a pub later, we can.

-0-0-

The meal at one of the little restaurants off Piccadilly was great. Merlin sat opposite Arthur who had been very gracious, insisting on paying for dinner and the theatre, refusing their offers to share the costs and joking that he would expect them to take him out to dinner on Saturday. They'd then walked to the theatre.

The show left lots of things unanswered in Merlin's mind. It had been riveting but magical and moving. He decided to read the novel by David Glover. At times, he had wanted to join the actors on the stage especially in some of the scenes representing the hustle and bustle of London and then again during the isolation of the major character.

His mind was so preoccupied that he had missed what Arthur had said to him. "Sorry, still in the theatre…" he'd muttered.

Lance had laughed, "I'm surprised that Arthur wasn't hanging onto you, you seemed almost determined to join in."

"Stop teasing him. It's nice when someone really enjoys a show." He smiled in Merlin's direction.

"I really did, Arthur, it was sad at times and then funny with only an underlying hint of sadness."

"Anyone feel like a drink? This pub is quite well known and they also make great meat pies if you are still hungry. They walked in and warmth and a pleasant ambiance greeted them. Lance insisted on getting the drinks and the two others went to find a table. Merlin pulled off his coat as Arthur sat beside him, his knee momentarily brushing his. Merlin dared not look up as he felt sure that Arthur had also experience the tingling. This was the first time that they had been alone since the flight to London a fortnight ago.

There was no need to talk, it was just great sitting beside each other. The thought 'shades of Paris' ran through Merlin's mind. They both turned at the same time to speak to each other and neither said a word, just smiling into each others eyes. Merlin felt all the tension run out of his body and he slid more comfortably against the leather seat allowing his legs to parallel Arthur's but not touch them.

Arthur sat with his hands on his lap; he turned his wrist so that his hand was palm up. Merlin smiled to himself, he went to move his own hand but Lance arrived at the table and Arthur stood up to help him with the drinks. When he sat down, he kept both hands on the table. They talked about their holidays and what their plans were for Paris.

"Libby and I are planning to move in together once I'm back. Her flatmate is leaving and she wants someone to share the expenses."

"Sounds good. Have you met her parents yet?" Merlin asked.

"Yes, when we went skiing last year. They seemed very nice."

Arthur turned to Merlin and said sotto voce, "That's what they all say to begin with!"

The three of them laughed. Their little group was breaking up as although Libby was nice she wasn't one of the boys. However, there was still Gawaine and Tom. Arthur doubted that Gawaine would ever settle down with one person for a long time and Tom had a girlfriend at home. Arthur turned to look at Merlin wondering if their futures would entail being together.

-0-0-

He remembered vividly a month ago, when they had all been boasting about previous conquests, Merlin had confided that he had been in love. Arthur's heart had dropped; chances were that Merlin might go back to his last partner. She was very nice he had confided to the others, slightly older and a bit bossy.

"That can sometime make life a little more interesting," insisted Gawaine.

Arthur had laughed as he said "Gawaine, stop it. This is like an instalment of True Confessions, go one Merlin tell us about this paragon of a women." It had been the first time that he had heard Merlin ever mention being in love and already his mind had jumped ahead and his was thinking in the terms of unrequited love followed by weekends away and lots of sex.

Merlin had smiled sadly, "Being in love hurts, doesn't it?" They had all nodded. "I didn't really understand what was happening as all I wanted to do was to be with her the whole time. Finally, her mother had stepped in and shooed me home, telling me that eight year old Amy was too old for me. I was heartbroken as she was the sister of my best friend and I really did think that I was going to move into his house and stay with him when we got married and anyway…they had ponies!"

Arthur who had a mouth full of beer, had sprayed it all over his hands and his sweater. Gawaine had to get up to hit him on the back as he coughed and couldn't get his breath and Merlin, well, he had just looked sadly into his glass and said matter-of-factly, "Then they moved…and I never saw her again!"

Once he got his breathing sorted out Arthur had wanted to get up and give Merlin a hug telling him that he'd find love again but Gawaine had beaten him to it, hugging Merlin and saying as was wont Gawaine, "They're a lot more fish in the sea. Say the word, Merlin, and I'll fix you up with a blue-eyed blonde any day. You've got the looks and the figure, with a little bit of practice, you'll be fighting the girls off that cute body of yours."

Merlin had said nothing, he'd just grinned dreamily as if he had other ideas.

-0-0-

Suddenly, Arthur had snapped out of his reverie. Merlin had shifted and he could feel the warmth of his thigh against his. He put his hand on his own lap and Merlin took it in his and closed his hands around it without batting an eye or missing a word in the conversation he was having with Lance about trains.

By the time they arrived back at Arthur's flat. They were quiet. It was already after two in the morning and Merlin was dead on his feet. He had kept bumping against Arthur as they went up the stairs and Arthur had slipped his arm around his waist to steady him. The way Arthur looked after him made him feel special, so he let himself lean against him.

For a second, Arthur wished that Lance had not been with them and then he felt guilty. It was nice for Merlin to have had company home and back. He walked around turning on lights but the other two said that they were ready for bed so Arthur motioned the way down the hall and left them to it. "Extra blankets in the cupboard and breakfast is …" he smiled, "Whenever you are ready to get up and make it. Good Night!" He let himself into his room and stood for a second with his back against the door. He sighed and went about getting ready for bed.

He lay there thinking, 'How can a young man of what twenty-two, make me feel so insecure and unsure of myself? I'm a confident individual but Merlin just has to smile at me and I feel myself falling apart at the seams.'

Four feet away in the other room, with their headboards on a common wall, Merlin was thinking, 'Why am I doing this to myself? My heart races and my body does strange things when he holds my hand. I know so little that he'll probably push me to one side. I feel as if I'm very far away from myself, watching two people one whom I know well and the other I want to know.'

-0-0-

It was four thirty in the morning and Merlin couldn't get back to sleep. His mind was racing with the play they'd seen then what had happened in the pub. He decided to get up. He moved quietly not wanted to waken Lance. Maybe if he was quiet, he could make himself something to drink and then fall back asleep. He opened the door remembering that the kitchen was on the right down the hall. Arthur's flat was warm and no one was around so he went as he was, in sweatpants and barefooted.

The street light outside the window lit the room sufficiently and he turned no lights on. He walked carefully not to bump into anything. It was large for a kitchen and had a table and chairs and he vaguely remembered a couch in the corner. He went to the refrigerator and saw a container of chocolate milk. He poured himself a small glass and walked to the window and looked out. The park in the middle of the square was empty but for a cat rubbing along the base of a little fountain which stood in the centre. He finished his drink and placed the rinsed glass in sink.

He made his way towards the door but had only just passed the table when a voice said quietly, "Merlin?"

Spinning around as if caught doing something wrong, Merlin spied Arthur sitting on the couch. "Shit, Arthur, you scared the living daylights out of me. I thought no one else was up."

Arthur stood up and said, "I couldn't sleep and then I was thirsty so I came to get a drink and I sat down and dozed off and then I woke up thinking I was being burgled…one of the perks of usually living alone." He walked toward Merlin and smiling leant in towards him and briefly touched his lips with his finger. When Merlin didn't pull back, he replaced his finger with his lips. It was the chastest of kisses and Arthur then took his hand and led him to the sofa.

"As we both can't sleep, let's talk…"

"But won't Lance wonder why he's alone in the room in the middle of the night."

"He'll think you've gone for a pee… anyway it really doesn't matter what Lance thinks…does it?"

Merlin shook his head and sat beside Arthur on the couch. He wanted Arthur to kiss him again but he was too shy to suggest such a thing. In the subdued light, he could see that Arthur was in pyjama tops and bottoms but no slippers. He regretted he hadn't put something on top when he had got up. He could feel Arthur's lips on his neck and it did something to him. When he nibbled his ear lobe, Merlin shuddered and it wasn't with the cold.

Arthur slipped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer to him. He then pulled a blanket over Merlin's shoulders whispering something about a bare chest being distracting. Merlin blushed. It just seemed right to snuggle into Arthur, so he did… Arthur's lips were again on his and Merlin relaxed into the kiss.

"You taste of chocolate milk," Arthur said softly.

Merlin couldn't help but smile and say, "Surprised?"

Arthur ran his fingers up the back of his neck and it made Merlin want to reciprocate. He shyly slid his arm until his hand was on Arthur's hair. It was such a personal thing to do that it made his heart beat even faster.

Arthur lifted his chin up and peppered kisses across his throat softly sucking. When his mouth wasn't otherwise occupied, he kept saying "Merlin…!"

Merlin thought, 'What would his mother say and he decided then and there that she too would like Arthur and everything would be all right.'

Arthur by then was rubbing his hand along Merlin's spine. His hands were soft and warm and Merlin couldn't believe how blasé he felt about such a personal thing. He curled up his hand and put it on Arthur's chest. Arthur hugged him saying, "Merlin, you're the leader. We go at your pace."

Merlin smiled and said softly, "Arthur, I'm out of my depth already, it's going to be stop and go for some time." After he had said it, he realised how asinine it sounded, here was Arthur obviously interested in him and he's sort of turned him down.

Arthur wrapped him up more tightly in the blanket and said, "Can we cuddle like this for a little bit?"

"That would be nice…I could stay like this forever," Merlin said and within five minutes Arthur realised that the man of his dreams was fast asleep in his arms on the couch in the kitchen of his Grosvenor Square flat. He smiled indulgently, realising that he had never acknowledging that he felt the same.

-0-0-

A voice whispered in his ear, "Merlin, wake up! Time to go back to bed!" Merlin came to and stretched, someone had their arms wrapped around him and it felt right

"No way, I'm warm and comfy here and, Arthur, I like cuddling with you."

"But not here, as Lance might walk in, it's already six o'clock."

"Can we do this again tomorrow night?"

"We'll see!" Arthur stood up pulling Merlin with him. Before letting go of him, he nuzzled his neck and gave him a little peck on the cheek. "Go on, now and don't trip over anything." Arthur switched on the hall light. Merlin turned and only got as far as the door when he came back and taking Arthur's head in his two hands kissed him. He left the kitchen before Arthur could move…

Lance woke him around ten, "Merlin, I can smell bacon, Arthur must be cooking breakfast. I'm famished haven't slept that deeply in a long time. Come up, get those lazy bones out of bed! It's Saturday and we're in London!"

Merlin stretched when he was finally alone. Had it really happened? Had Arthur kissed him or was it a dream? He swung his legs out of bed and noticed in the bathroom mirror that he had a round red mark on his neck. He shook his head, it wasn't a dream. He pulled a tee shirt on and made his way to the kitchen more suitably dressed as a house guest than he had been last night.

He pushed open the door and walked in, Lance was setting the table and Arthur at the stove looked up and said, "'Morning, Merlin, did you sleep well?"

Merlin blushed as he said, "Yes, great!"