Chapter Twenty - Worlds Apart

"I'll put the coffee on." Brian says as he hops out of bed, slips into his comfortable slippers, and throws on his robe. He looks at Liv. Smiles. Wink.

"Yea that's fine, thanks." Liv answers in a whisper. She's sitting up in bed with her phone to her ear. She has him on hold.

"K. I'll give you some time." Brian says as he walks out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. He knows it's been forever since Liv talk with him, years. Brian respects her privacy and he respects their partnership.

Meanwhile, Liv takes several breaths before she begins her most anticipated conversation in her entire life.

"Elliot?" Her voice is inviting.

"Hey Liv."

Not sure how to speak, Liv barely lets out a, "Hi."

"Where do I start right?" Elliot's voice is much different. Deeper, uneventful, and almost too old.

Liv waits a while before responding. "How's Kathleen?"

"Kathleen?"

"Yes I uh? I heard about the accident." She exhales. "I also heard that... That you're living in California?" She doesn't mean it, but Liv's voice sounds catty.

"Yea, yea that's right." He laughs. "You should see my tan."

"I bet." She smiles, easing up and relaxing a bit. Just two old friends reconnecting? This would be true if that good friend that you're chatting with was ever in a position to save your life everyday.

"California? It's? It's different here ya know. I mean. New York's summer is compatible to California's winter."

"Wow. No more white Christmas's huh?" Liv's voice sounds as if she is nervous. She is.

"Yea but I don't miss the snow. I miss the fact that I owned coats, and gloves, and scarves."

"Elliot come on. You never liked scarves."

"Yea well ya know ya never miss something until its gone."

Liv pauses. She doesn't know how to handle the conversation anymore. Her emotions are all over the place. Tears fall from her eyes and she doesn't notice them until they hit her cheeks. After seconds of silence, Liv finally lets out some of her feelings.

"Three years El... Three years." Her voice cracks. She waits for Elliot to respond but he takes a while to address the matter.

"I know I?" His voice is low. Liv hears him let out a hard sigh. This is though for him. This is tough for both of them. "Liv I'm sorry... That job... That job was my life you know that." He pauses. Liv listens as Elliot take easy breaths. After seconds of nothingness, El continues in a whispering voice. "She was Elizabeth's age Liv. You gotta know? That will haunt me for the rest of my life."

Liv nods her head, silently agreeing. Tears fill her eyes. "Yes." She nods her head. "Yes I get that El-but?" She sniffs her nose. "What about me you should have told me or at least say goodbye-."

He cuts her off, "I couldn't." His voice cracks. "Telling you meant a reason to stay. A reason to hold on to a job that I devoted my entire life to, a job that I sacrificed my family for, and I couldn't bring myself to do that. Wasn't fair."

"It wasn't fair to who Elliot? To me? To your kids, to Kathy?" Her voice is calm. She blinks her eyes and tears fall out. "Or was it unfair to you?"

"That's not what I meant... It was better that I left without warning. I figured that way you could hate me more than miss me. That in time, I'd be a memory."

Seriously? Liv's mind is screaming. "I'm sorry El but I could never do that. Forget you? No. Maybe you tried at forgetting me? Forgetting the job but I am not you. You've been my best friend for fifteen years and now what? Now I throw it all away? No. No." Liv is rattled. She coaches herself to calm down. She wipes the tears from her face. The more tears she wipes away, the more tears continue to fall. "I could never hate you." Her voice is painfully sincere. "In fact I never thought that I could ever miss someone so much... I trusted you. With my life and you just what? You walked away like nothing that we ever shared mattered."

"You know that isn't true. I couldn't tell you. I told no one. Not anyone I wasn't legally oblige to tell. Not you. Not Kathy... She called it a midlife crisis decision but that wasn't it. I just came to the conclusion that I was done. Done with the job, done with the city-."

Liv interrupts. "Done with me? ... Were you ever gonna contact me again?"

"I did now."

"And why is that?"

He waits a few seconds before responding. Liv closes her eyes as she hears her old partner, crying for the first time.

Sobbing, Elliot struggles to talk. "Kathleen.. Kathleen just died fifty minutes ago and I'm sitting on the floor of her empty hospital room, in the dark. Thinking. Who can I call? ... And your face popped into my head..." He cries.

"Elliot no." Liv is taken aback. As she hears Stabler sobbing on the other line, Brian enters with coffee. He hands her the coffee but Liv ignores him. She gets out of bed, grabs her robe. "Elliot I am so sorry." She heads into the living room, opens the apartment door, and make her way to the stairway. Alone, she sits in private, taking in Elliot's pain.

Two hours later...

"I can't call Kathy I can't do it..."

"El I know this is hard for you but you have too."

"I know but I don't want to. Kathy told me that bringing Kathleen out here to this facility would do more harm than good. I told her she didn't know what the hell she was saying, because staying in the city meant burying our daughter." He smirks. "I was wrong."

Liv's heart drops as she listens to the hurt in Elliot's voice. Suddenly, she has an elated epiphany. "I could call her. I could call Kathy and tell her... She's been calling me-"

"Wait. Why is she calling you? She thinks we're still in contact? What does she think me and the doctors are lying to her when she makes her daily calls?" Elliot says, his voice irritated. There is a lot of tension between he and Kathy and Liv could tell just by Elliot's reaction.

"Well-it's?" She tilts her head in the smooth way Olivia Benson always tilts her head. "It's not the only reason. I mean she's the one who told me about Kathleen right but. She only called me once and it had nothing to do with the two of you or even Kathleen. Come on Kathy and I aren't exactly friends but when she called she already knew that." Liv takes a breath as she hears her voice become breathy. "She already know that I hadn't talk with you since you left SVU."

"Well then why is she calling you?" Liv hears the curiosity in his voice but can't figure out why.

She answers him plain and simple. A matter-of-fact kind of answer. "I don't know-I guess, she wanted to know how I was doing after the kidnapping." Elliot is left speechless. Everything on his end is so quiet, for seconds, that Liv begins to wonder if he's still on the line. "Hello?"

Catching his breath, Elliot finally talks. "What kidnapping?"

Liv eyes widen with shock. He doesn't know...

She quickly considers not telling him. Maybe she could get away with sugarcoating the events. No. The cat is out of the bag. And? The fact that Kathy called to check on her was too big enough to sugarcoat the kidnapping. Liv swallows her pride. She had to get use of telling people about her assault her rape soon. Elliot Stabler is her perfect outcry. "It's nothing El... It's just... For four days, a suspect we busted got off and after the mistrial. He broke into my apartment. And he? ... He got the drop on me because I froze but now?! I'm fine El."

"Wait a second I think I read something about that in LA times, something about a serial rapist kidnapping a cop, no specific gender, but... They said that that guy murdered that cop." Elliot voice is excited, not a good excited, but an eager excited.

"Yea, he did. He killed a cop but it wasn't me. It was a young officer who got in his way of raping and torturing me... Right after he made me watch him rape and torture his lawyer's mother." Her stomach drops as she recounts the details to her old partner. It is as if she's talking to someone in her past where the old Olivia still roamed.

"Are you kidding me?" Elliot lets out an awkward and at the same time, un-recognizable chuckle. The new Liv, the shell, is confused. The old Liv, the bad ass who feared nothing, is not confused at all. She knows that chuckle. Elliot is about to explode. "Are you kidding me Liv. I didn't know no one told me I didn't know this no one called me I didn't know this I was here I was a selfish prick..."

The line goes dead right before she hears the sound of someone smashing a cell phone.

"Elliot?" She yells.

For seconds, she tries to control the panic attack that is coming. She's breathing rapidly. Her vision becomes blurry. She tries to stand but falls. She tries at standing again but her right foot misses a step. A sure way to tumble down a flight of stairs. However, her balance is off and she sways. There are no railings and the walls are too far apart to grab onto...

Benson's cell drops out her hand. She tries to prepare herself for the fall but her panic attack is still in play. Her panic attack is in control. As she falls back, someone grabs her hand. Liv is now being pulled forward. She's being saved from the fall. Everything happens so fast. The person pulls her in his arms. Her face smashing into his chest. His hands brushing the back of her hair. His voice, deep and unnatural, comforting her with words. Finally, her knees go weak. She feels paper thin. Her heavy breathing subsides. And just like that, Liv is no longer conscious.

To Be Continued...