If I Could Start Over Again
Chapter 3
Time Travel AU
KakaxFem!Naru
A week.
A week to decide, if the possibility of better, the possibility of worse . . .
The possibility of his failing again . . . .
He wasn't worried for his soul . . . he'd willingly give it.
But to get it right . . .
Could he . . . he wasn't sure.
Did he want to? Of course.
Easy answer.
But faith in himself. . . . .
That he would be worthy?
That . . . that he was much less sure.
Kakashi Hatake was standing before the Memorial Stone, a small glass vial of golden liquid sealed with bright red wax cradled preciously in his left hand.
He didn't dare utter a word of it, the whole notion seemed . . . too good to be true . . too beyond what scum like him deserved.
But . . . .
She had asked him . . . had shared to fulfill Kurama's wish . . . to do it for Naruto.
Serve . . . serving felt . . . right. He owed the bright, amazing blonde so much of his joy and purpose after he had lost almost everything . . .
Until he had lost him.
Until he had lost . . . everything.
So, . . . was it so selfish . . . if it would meet his desperate soul shattering need . . .if it was to correct this . . . to serve . . . the last of his pack?
To fulfill the request, offer of a Goddess and the greatest of the Bijuu?
He wasn't sure he was worthy of it . . .
But he knew Naruto was worthy, deserving, and owed his best effort.
A deep breath as he gazed above the Memorial Stone, Kakashi sent prayer and thanks to his pack for their silent support and listening.
And hopefully for a bit of patience with him . . . to try again, to do better.
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, as he turned, slouched as he moved to go back to his office, to do the best of his duties as Hokage . . . . for Minato, Obito and Naruto while he still held the reigns, just one more week, his mind supplied.
With that, Kakashi, last of the Hatake clan, Last Fang of the Wolf clan, felt a weight lift as he knew, he would do his best to make amends.
Or die trying.
Shikamaru thought he should be grateful.
Finally, after over two weeks, their Hokage was finally engaging . . . some.
He wasn't late, never seemed to sleep anymore and Shikamaru was unsure if he was eating . . .
Plenty of troublesome things to address but . . .
The silver-haired former ANBU Captain was in his office.
But unlike the past where even if he wasn't reading one Icha Icha novel or another, he constantly seemed to have his hand in his pocket.
It was odd, new behavior the genius Nara couldn't help but have his mind catalogue.
It had been a few days now and his curiosity was peaked.
Even since Kakashi had started to respond, hopefully coming out of his depression, his hand would never stray far from his pocket or some glass object the shadow user had only seen the very edges of in the Rokudaime's hands.
Blowing out a sigh of relief, of frustration . . the usually lazy man moved off to the next stack of work, hoping beyond hope that things would continue to improve . . and wondering why his sense of foreboding was growing.
The next week for Kakashi was filled with work, plans and memories.
Memories of what could have been, what could be and what he still owed those still here.
It was odd and distracting and he knew he was worrying people.
Sakura spent most of her time not at the hospital hovering and he had asked her to join him for lunch and dinner multiple times. She kept eyeing him, worry evident, but he just eye smiled and was grateful for this time. He knew . . the Sakura he knew may never be.
He had spent time with Gai, enjoying the boisterous man's devotion, support and companionship.
Sasuke had come, never with much to say, but clearly lingered in the silver-haired man's presence.
Even Tenzo had spent some time sparring with him, a constant shadow among his personal ANBU squad.
He was grateful, seeing the care those around him took for him.
Or maybe it was all a dream and he had lost his mind.
Either way, Kakashi found some peace in the possibility of some hope.
It was day 7, almost exactly. Down to the minute, of when he had met his hallucination, salvation, interloper.
A Goddess.
Ookami Inari.
He knew of her followers, of those who worshipped her.
He still wondered if she was real . . . if any of this was real.
If all this was a terrible genjutsu and he would wake up and find the world back right again.
But his heart ached . . . his soul was empty.
Somehow, he knew no genjutsu could cause this.
It was a part of his makeup, his lineage, his people. The Hatake's had been wandering packs for generations, known for their fierce loyalty, prowess and kekkai genkai in their strongest. Heightened senses and pure white chakra. But more privately, there was also their bonding, their ability to track based on pack that made them truly the best, even for their packmates, better than an Inuzuka. For they were Wolves.
Shaking his head from his revelry, Kakashi gazed out at the sparkling lights of their beloved village.
It was here he stood, at Naruto's spot, on Naruto's Father's stone head that he turned the vial of gold his fingers knew all too well over the course of the last week, that he felt at peace.
Maybe it was poison, maybe it was insanity . . maybe . . maybe . . he pondered as his own genius analytical brain struggled with what he had chosen.
But his heart . . his soul . . .
He knew he had to try; insanity be damned.
He wouldn't survive either way here anymore.
Absently he wondered if this is how Tsunade felt before she fled Konohakagure.
He hoped she had found her peace too.
A warmth filled the air, pressure, now familiar, along with the scent of foxes, silk, warm spice and wind.
Turning to his left, Kakashi let a gentle smile fall on his cloth covered lips as the Goddess he hadn't actually dreamed stood before him, coy and demanding in her eyes, posture.
She smiled, knowingly as she opened her red, stained lips, eyes, amber fire, glowing in the dark.
"Know that I give you this chance . . but also know, you will not fix all paths, my tsukiyo no ookami. Not all you want to save are meant to be saved. Keep this in mind, my dear tsukiyo no ookami. You must keep your eye on your prize, otherwise . . what did I send you back for?" her voice curled around him, possessive and insistent.
He watched her, listening with care to her words. . .
"I will not fail him or Kurama," his low baritone rumbled in the night, taken by the wind for any but the two of them to miss.
She watched him for a moment, distain almost in her measuring of him, elegant chin tilted in defiance as her face remained blank and pensive.
With a grin, she sauntered forward, reaching to pluck her offered gift, a vial of golden, liquid sunlight.
Turning it over in her hands, she looked up at the taller shinobi.
"I know you can, Kakashi Hatake," her eyes glowed, the warm feeling, of her conviction, caused a surprising amount of comfort to the Rokudaime. Soon to be former Rokudaime, he thought to himself as the being before him handed the now open vial back to him.
With a deep breath, Kakashi pulled his mask down, cool air hitting his face, the scent of the vial, cut, grass, wind and sunshine made him close his eyes for a moment . . . before his eyes burned, narrowed, as he threw the contents of the vial back.
Burning.
It was burning him from the inside out.
He hadn't noticed when he had fallen, curled on his side, hands clutching his sides as he heard himself grunt in discomfort.
But the oddly pressing, comforting presence of Ookami Inari, kneeling gracefully next to him as she gently placed his head on her silk covered knees, gently running her clawed hands through his hair, along his scalp, humming as the pain hit him in waves.
"-and don't forget my tsukiyo no ookami," she spoke as his awareness waned, darkness taking his vision, " . . . you must give yourself the grace of being deserving, if you are to share such care with another," she shared gently, lovely, motherly, as she stroked his pained face and hair, kneeling next to his collapsed form as his world faded, unaware of the resulting explosion as his being, existence was obliterated from that time, place, all notion of who he had been erased from that timeline.
A/N: Hiya yall!
I am immediately posting the next chapter after siege (one last proofread!) Sorry yall, gaming calls!
But I will post the next chapter before I sleep.
I know this is short, but for overall read, it made sense these two chapters are separate!
Give me a few hrs and I'll have the next one up!
Amaterasu53 – I'm so glad! Still fleshing out a bunch of the next 5-10 chapters, thoughts, and CC welcome!
Snm1 – Hiya! Didn't see any text, but thank you for stopping by and I hope yall enjoyed!
00chris – I hope to keep the rest interesting as well! This will be answered in more detail as well as the (initial) timeline impact in the next few chapters! I'm glad yall have found this interesting!
Bennettenasagirl – I'm so glad! I hope to keep amusing!
Ariamity – I'm with you! I've read a few really good ones (they should be on my favorites) and I highly recommend Amaterasu 53 (as seen above! So happy they like/reviewed this!) and baby-kitsune9's work. Their work/stories are what set me on the KakaxFem!Naru bug!
Lol and I thought about separating Shika and Kaka pairing stories buutt . . decided against it as it is hard enough to find relatively rare pairings. Red an amazing MadaxFem!Naru recently that has a bunch of ideas bouncing in my head, but nothing concrete and I have sooo many plot bunnies already to attend to!
And I'm with you for low number of stories, between AO3 and here. I don't know if I would have posted otherwise, but I just find it too entertaining not to give it some air!
Hope yall continue to enjoy and please, I am all for constructive criticism when yall have thoughts!
Have a great day yall and I really appreciate yalls reviews and reads!
Ja Ne!
-TheFoxandHerShadow