Lost Loves
Chapter 20
Christine had actually struck up a friendship with Joselyn and one day, after Joselyn finished tutoring Katie and Hannah; they sat down for coffee and to try some new cookies that Christine had made. Mike was finishing things up at work and the kids were upstairs. Joselyn was nibbling on a cookie when Christine spoke up.
"What do you think? More nutmeg?" Christine said.
"I honestly think it needs a wet ingredient. Maybe applesauce?" Joselyn suggested.
"They are dry. Its Mike's mom's recipe. He raves about them but I don't remember them being so dry. But her recipe was pretty worn and I think I might have misread an ingredient. I didn't ever watch her make them." Christine said.
"I would start with applesauce." Joselyn said.
"Our anniversary is coming up and I want to do something nice for Mike. I just hate asking him for money. And Mike is very sentimental." Christine remarked.
"Do you have any plans?" Joselyn asked.
"No, not that Mike has mentioned. The kids, specifically Hannah, struggle when we aren't here. Her anxiety attacks are pretty bad. I don't want Katie responsible for that and I can't ask that of someone else." Christine explained.
"But you want to do something?" Joselyn asked.
"I do. In a lot of ways, this is our second chance. Does it make me a bad parent to want some time away from the kids, to reconnect with Mike?" Christine asked.
"No. I think given your history, it is wise to make your marriage a priority. The kids need to see you and Mike have a healthy relationship, and I do think you might see it ease Hannah's anxiety." Joselyn answered.
"I don't follow." Christine remarked.
"You were separated before the Red Flu?" Joselyn asked.
"Yes." Christine answered.
"She's afraid your relationship with her father will implode and all this—a comfortable home, being close; will all be stripped away. She has the attacks when one of you is away?" Joselyn asked.
"Yes, by far." Christine answered.
"Christine; you and Mike need time together. Hannah's biggest fear…and probably Katie's too, is that you will stop thriving. I'll talk to Russ. I am sure we can stay with the kids so you and Mike can get away for a night." Joselyn offered.
"And that is also a crux. We are doing very well but we haven't…you know? I know that seems silly." Christine remarked.
"No, given what you went through. What's stopping it?" Joselyn asked.
"I don't know. I had hurt Mike pretty badly before the Red Flu. Maybe some mistrust. He might be afraid to put his heart on the line again. Or maybe its that I am afraid I'll do it again. Before, he remarked he wondered if I didn't have a sex addiction. I never thought I did. Was just lonely, I suppose." Christine answered.
"Well, there is one big difference. He's going to retire. I think more than him trusting you, you have to trust you. If he didn't want a second chance, he wouldn't have bought that ring. He's there. He's ready, he just waiting on you." Joselyn answered.
"I love him even more for giving me another chance." Christine remarked.
"Then show him by trusting yourself. I'll talk to Russ and we can stay with the kids." Joselyn offered.
"Thank you. I really do appreciate it." Christine said.
"You're welcome. Try the applesauce. Maybe a tablespoon or so?" Joselyn answered as she tasted the cookie.
"You don't have to keep eating them. I can admit they are pretty bad." Christine said with a laugh.
"They could be good." Joselyn answered as she dropped the cookie back on the plate. Christine could only laugh in response.