A/N: Yeah, so this is a little shorter than my earlier chapters. Hope that´s okay. Thanks for the great reviews. Makes it that more fun to write =)
This story has been beta'd by cboo2501 and Worm in the Apple and pre-read by, Aliherondale333 and bethgreat97.
All recognizable characters are owned by Cassandra Clare and J.R Ward
Kayshia Cole ft. Monica – Trust
Janet Jackson – Any time, any place
Chapter 9
Isn´t the whole truth out there?
Life for Clary Lohstrong was good. It was great actually, and there was no way it could get any better.
Frowning, she took that last part back. 'I would prefer one thing to be different,' she thought, as she stood in front of the bathroom mirror, brushing her teeth. She wished that Jace would trust her again.
There hadn´t been any more misunderstandings between the two of them in the past two weeks. They had spent a lot of time together, both at her house and his. He even got along well with Qhuinn, ever since her guardian had taken to not touch her in front of Jace. It seemed as if they had reached some sort of understanding the morning after he spent the night.
They did all kinds of things; went to the movies, out to dinner, homework, listen to music and kissed…
Oh, and those kisses…
Clary's toes curled just at the thought of them. So far, they hadn´t gone any further than kissing and above the clothes touching. She was grateful that Jace hadn´t tried to push her in to anything more, even though she could tell that he was frustrated.
She was definitely willing to take the next step, she just wasn´t sure that she was ready yet. But she was well on her way, and the journey leading up to it had been amazing.
The door to her bedroom opened and in walked Qhuinn. "Yo descent, nalla?"
Clary spit out the excess toothpaste in her mouth and rinsed. "More or less," she glanced down at her cargos and sheer cami. "What´s up?"
"Me and Blay were talkin' 'bout havin' a Halloween themed party at the club in a couple of weeks. Ya think yo lil' friends would be up for it?"
She pulled a fitted t-shirt over her head as she considered his question. "Do we have to wear costumes?"
"Duh," he rolled his eyes. "That´s the whole point of it being themed."
She snorted. "I´m sure that Iz and Magnus would be overjoyed with the idea…The boys, I´m not so sure about…" Her imagination conjured up an image of herself dressed as an Angel – a naughty on from the look of her imaginary dress – and Jace in a sexy devil costume, nothing but bright red horns, a pitchfork, and black slacks.
Yummy.
She unconsciously licked her lips and blushed when Qhuinn chuckled, successfully rousing her from her fantasy. "Oh, I know that look, yo dirty, dirty girl. What was he dressed as? Chippendale dancer?
"No," Clary scoffed. "Devil," she admitted sheepishly.
"Nice choice," he grinned approvingly. "And tell me, how´re ya plannin' on gettin' him to agree to it?"
She stuck out her tongue at him. "None of your business."
"I´m sure whatever ya decide will put a big ol' smile on his face," he kissed her on the temple, something he hadn´t done as much lately. Clary suddenly realized how much she missed it. "He makes ya shine, nalla, and that alone would make me like 'im. But he´s seriously a good kid."
She giggled. "You only call him kid because you know it pisses him off."
He gave her a who-me look.
"Don´t try looking innocent. It´s also why you call Iz Evil twin, Simon Rat boy and Magnus Flaming Godmother. Jeez, you make them sound like something out of a fairytale."
"Maybe," he chuckled. "But it´s all said with love."
""Riiiiight," she snickered. "I´ll be sure to let 'em know that."
"That pale fucker haven´t been givin' ya no trouble, has he?" he asked, abruptly changing the subject.
The anger in his eyes was so frightening that she backed up and had to remind herself that it wasn´t directed at her. "No," she answered honestly, but refused to meet his mismatched eyes. She knew that Jace hung out with him when she was at the gym, but they never spoke about it. And it was true that Seb had kept his distance around her and Izzy.
But what she had kept a secret from both Jace and Qhuinn was that sometimes she felt like she was being watched and whenever she would look up, Seb was there, staring at her. It was creepy and made her feel uncomfortable, but he wasn´t actually doing anything.
"Before I forget," Qhuinn handed her a stack of magazines that she just realized he been carrying. "Blay wanted ya to look through 'em, see if ya can find a dress ya like."
She flipped through the glossy pages of the bridal magazine on top. "You finally started moving forward with the wedding planning?" she smiled.
He beamed at her happily "Yeah. Now that the club´s up and runnin' he can finally make an honest man outta me."
Clary hugged him tightly. "I´m glad. You both deserve it." She put the pile in her nightstand drawer and promised, "I´ll start looking for a dress tonight before bed."
"Good deal," he nodded. "Blay´s gonna wanna talk flowers and crap like that, but it´s no rush yet."
"Are you still thinking about having the wedding on New Year's Eve?" she asked as she bent down to tie her chucks.
"Yup, we wanna end this already amazing year the best way we could think of," his eyes lit up with joy. "Just think, nalla, in only a couple of months we will be a true family."
She had to blink away the joyous tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. "A true family, huh? Does that mean I get to call you daddy after all?" she joked, to lightened the mood.
"Never," he vowed and threw her a mock glare. "How ya doin' with Spanish now?" he changed the subject, wiggling his eyebrows.
Clary felt her heart rate increase and her cheeks heat as she thought about Jace murmuring foreign phrases in her ear. She didn´t understand much of what he was saying, he could be discussing his political standpoint for all she knew, but somehow she doubted that. "It´s going fine, thanks."
Qhuinn's loud guffaw made the blush darken a shade or fifteen deeper. "Yeah, like it´s homework I hear ya talkin' 'bout as I pass yo room while he´s here? Ya might wanna tell 'im that unlike you, I actually know what he´s sayin'."
Oh god. No politics then.
"I´m not telling him that," she huffed, flustered. "And neither are you."
"I´ll do my best," he let out a throaty chuckle. "Oh, think ya can get a ride to school tomorrow?"
"Why?" she asked suspiciously.
"I gotta have the Hummer, I got meetings all over town tomorrow and Blay´s lookin' at locations for the wedding, so he gotta take yo car."
"Oh, okay," Clary smiled brightly as she gathered her things for school and stuffed them in her bag. "I´ll just ask Jace to pick me up. I´m sure he won´t mind."
Qhuinn snorted. "Oh, I know he won´t. But no ditchin' school and stayin' here to fool around just 'cause ya got an empty house. If ya do there will be spankin' and groundin'."
She gave him an ironic salute. "Sir, yes, sir."
"Don´t be a brat, nalla," he said sternly. "Go to school, get good grades, and make me proud."
"Yes, daddy," she said innocently, then squealed and ran out the door as he growled.
Clary slid gracefully out of her car, skipped happily over to Jace's Impala and let him pull her into his arms.
The kiss was as heated as usual, but every time their lips met it still felt like the first time. She moaned against his mouth as he nibbled on her bottom lip, then soothed the small bite with his tongue.
"I missed you, Angel," he whispered hoarsely.
Clary practically swooned at his declaration. "I´ve missed you too."
She felt his lips tilt up in a smile and then he deepened the kiss.
"Not again," Izzy complained.
Jace groaned and buried his face in the crook of Clary's neck. "Go away, Iz," his voice slightly muted by Clary's hair.
"I´m not going anywhere. Nowadays, the only time I get to see my best friend is during this time in the morning and at lunch," Izzy shrugged.
Instant guilt flooded Clary and she moved away from Jace's embrace, but kept her hand against his back. "Oh, Iz. I´m sorry," shame was evident in her green eyes as she looked at the other girl. "Maybe you can come home with me today? Qhuinn gave me some magazines that I have to go through to find a dress and I could really use the help."
Izzy looked placated and grinned. "Well, then you came to the right person."
Clary laughed as Jace pouted a little at the prospect of not being able to see her that evening. "I need to spend some time with my friend," she murmured, knowing he would understand, even though he didn´t like it.
"It´s cool, I can hang out with Seb," his glare stopped whatever Izzy was about to say.
The started moving towards the school at the sound of the first bell. As Jace laced his fingers with Clary's he asked, "How come you´re getting a new dress? Anything special planned?"
She worried her lip, uncomfortable with having to keep secrets a little while longer. Qhuinn had reassured her that Jace would learn the truth as soon as the invitations where sent out but it still felt wrong to keep him in the dark. "It´s just some event that the guys are dragging me to. No big deal. But it´s not for a couple of months," she smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "Maybe I´ll ask you to be my date."
Jace smiled down at her and squeezed back. "I would like that."
Later that afternoon, the two girls were lying on their stomachs on Clary's bed, kicking their legs back and forth, looking for the perfect bridesmaids dress.
"Since there isn´t an actual bride in this wedding, it´s kinda weird looking at bridesmaid dresses, don´t you think," Izzy said, flipping through the pages.
"Yeah, but groomsmaid just sounds…wrong," Clary snorted. "And sadly there´s no such thing as a best woman dress."
"That sucks," Izzy frowned. "That´s the first thing I´m going to rectify when I become a designer."
Clary laughed, happy to be spending some time with her best friend. "You think there´s a big market for those?"
"If it isn´t already, there will be by the time I´m done," Izzy said confidently.
For some reason, Clary didn´t doubt her. "It´s almost hard to believe this wedding is actually happening. They´ve been engaged for three years. I was beginning to fear that they would never get married."
"When are they sending out the invites?" Izzy asked as she studied and discarded several dresses.
"Since it´s going to be a small wedding, with just friends and family they´re sending them out around Halloween."
"I can´t wait to meet their families," Izzy chuckled. "I have to see the women who gave birth to that."
Clary smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, you will only get to meet Blay´s parents. They are amazing. Did I tell you that his mother cried when he told her he was gay? Not because of his sexual preferences, but because he had been afraid to tell her. She thought she must be the worst mother ever if he felt he couldn´t come to her with something that important."
"What about Qhuinn's parents?"
"He hasn´t spoken to them for almost ten years. They craved perfection but he was obviously unique from the time he was born…"
"Because of his eyes, right?"
"Yeah…" Clary bit the inside of her cheek to push back the anger that always surfaced when she thought about Qhuinn's parents.
"Soooo," Izzy decided to change the subject. "In just a two weeks Jace will know the truth about everything?"
Clary turned over, onto her back, and stared at the ceiling. "I hate lying to him."
"You´re not lying," Izzy chided her.
"I might as well be," Clary mumbled. "Omission is just as bad."
"It´s not your fault that my brother is a stubborn bastard who wouldn´t know what´s true if it bit him in the ass."
Clary's laughter ended in a snort. You´re not wrong." She turned her head to look at her friend. "Qhuinn wanted me to tell you that Pandemonium will be going all out for Halloween."
"Ooooh," Izzy gushed. "I just loooooove dressing up in costumes! You get to be super slutty and no one bats an eye. Any thoughts on what you want to go as?"
Clary pretended to be fascinated by the pattern on the wallpaper, but her blush gave her away. "An angel."
Izzy sat up on the bed and gave her a knowing grin. "Not too angelic I presume?"
"Um….no," Clary giggled softly. "Maybe I´ll go as a fallen angel."
"Yeah, maybe a black dress instead of white and some wings… But the dress must be short, with enough cleavage to make Jace's tongue drag on the floor all night," Izzy laughed wickedly.
"Oh, I can think of other places I would like his tongue," Clary blushed furiously. "Oh my god, I can´t believe I just said that," she clamped a delicate hand over her mouth with a mortified look in her green eyes.
Izzy fell back on the bed she was laughing so hard. "You should see your face right now. That was the funniest thing ever."
Clary reached out to slap Izzy over the head, but since her eyes were closed she missed by a longshot. "It´s not funny. I don´t understand what´s wrong with me," she groaned.
"Nothing is wrong with you," Izzy scolded her. "I take it you´re still a virgin?"
Clary kept her eyes closed, too embarrassed to look at her friend. "Duh."
"You see, what´s 'wrong'," air quotes, "is that you´re horny. Apparently, although I can´t see why, Jace is doing it for you, so to speak."
Clary's mind wandered back to the heavy make out sessions they'd had these past weeks and felt a sudden heat explode inside of her. "Oh, he certainly does."
Jace picked Clary up the next morning. He stepped out of his car as she exited the house dressed in a black, flowing, knee-length skirt and a green button up. He greeted her by peppering her face with small, sweet kisses.
Clary tipped her chin up and puckered her lips in anticipation for a real kiss, but he sidestepped her, pushing his hand in his jeans pockets and grinning sheepishly. "Um…Maybe we should hold up on that until later…We have a tendency to forget that there´s other people around," he nodded to his Impala where Izzy waved from the backseat.
Clary pouted with disappointment, but knew he was right. Whenever they kissed, everything else went away and it felt as if they were the only ones left in the world. "I don´t like it, but you have a point."
Jace raised a hand and pressed the back of it to his forehead and faked having to stumble backwards in shock. "You´re actually admitting that I´m right about something? Can I have that in writing Miss Fray? Otherwise, I might think this was only a dream."
She giggled quietly and opened her mouth to correct him about the name, but something in his eyes made her change her mind. "Don´t push your luck."
He chuckled and gallantly opened the car door for her, then half sprinted to the other side and slid smoothly down behind the wheel. "Ready, Angel?"
She looked deep into his beautiful golden eyes and something suddenly clicked into place inside of her. "Yes, I think I am."
When Jace found out that Clary would be home alone for a couple of hours after school, he invited himself over under the guise of doing homework.
She sent him ahead to her room and went to the kitchen to get a couple of bottles of water and some apples to snack on.
When she returned to her room Jace was sitting at the foot of her bed, hands dangled loosely between his knees, as he stared with unseeing eyes at the wall in front of him.
Clary put the apples and water down on her desk and took a seat beside him. "Jace? Is something wrong?"
Instead of answering he turned his upper body towards her, cupped her face softly between his hands, and pressed his lips almost feverishly to hers. He nipped at her lips, coaxing her to open up and let him in. His tongue caressed hers, dominating. He kissed her with a kind of frenzy, a desperation that had never been there before.
His hands left her face and moved to the small of her back, pressing her closer to him. Gently, but with an undisguised urgency he lowered her down on the bed and placed himself between her legs, his lips never leaving hers.
Clary moaned against his mouth as his strong hands palmed her breasts, making her feel like her whole body was on fire. She arched her back to get closer to him when he pinched her nipples through the soft fabric of her shirt.
Everywhere he touched her sent shockwaves through her body and straight to her core. She could feel the prominent bulge in his jeans against her hips, and she shivered with equal amount of worry and anticipation.
This is it. This is really happening. Am I truly ready?
His hand curled around her knee, tracing lines up her legs with the tip of his fingers and pushing her skirt up around her waist.
Oh god. Too fast. I´m not…
She broke away from the kiss and whispered shakily. "Jace, please… wait. I-I…"
"Please Angel," he panted. "I´m not trying to get you to do anything you don´t want to do…just let me feel you…taste you."
Clary merely nodded, the feelings he ignited inside of her making it too difficult to form words.
Jace hand continued up her thigh, and slid along the edge of her panties. With two fingers he rubbed lightly over the lace that covered her mound. "Mmm," he hummed, smirking when he felt the soaked fabric. He scooted down the length of her body and brushed his nose along her pelvic bone, he took a deep breath, smelling her arousal.
Her breath quickened even further when he shimmied her panties down her hips and legs, throwing them carelessly on the floor.
Clary arched her back again and squeezed her eyes as his finger skimmed her slick folds. "Ah," a guttural moan escaped her slightly parted lips at the almost overwhelming sensation.
"You´re so wet Angel," his warm breath fanned over the sensitive skin on the inside of her thigh. "Am I making you wet?"
"Uh-hu," she gritted out through her teeth as he slid a long, talented finger inside her. "Ah…Mmm," she had completely lost the ability to form words and she bucked her hips as he pushed his finger in, knuckle deep.
"God Angel. You´re so tight, so wet," Jace groaned and buried his face between her legs.
A small scream left her lips as he closed his mouth over the little bundle of nerves where she needed him the most. He nipped gently, letting his tongue lap along her slit as he added a second finger.
The rhythm of his movements drove her crazy, a fire started in her lower abdomen, slowly taking her towards the edge.
"Please," she gasped, not sure of what she was begging for.
Jace raised his head and stared at her with dark, hooded eyes. "Look at me Angel," his voice was raspy with his own desire. "I want to see it in your eyes when I make you cum."
Clary forced her eyes to open, but as her inner muscles constricted around his fingers the feeling became too much and her lids lowered against her will. A low breathy moan sounded from her as she reached her peak.
"No," Jace practically snarled. "Look. At. Me. I want you to be sure who´s making you feel this way."
As the waves of the orgasm crashed over her again and again Clary felt deflated. The glorious feeling turned dirty and she struggled to get away from Jace, curling up in a ball on the rumpled covers. She squeezed her eyes shut to keep the tears at bay, but one single drop managed to escape and fall down her pale cheeks and landed on her lips.
"Clary? Angel?" his voice sounded frantic, but the numbness that surrounded her heart was impenetrable. "Shit! Fuck. I´m sorry, I-I…"
She released a ragged breath. "I can´t do this anymore, Jace," she wondered if he could hear her heart breaking. "I-I…I can´t…"
Jace's fingers wrapped tenderly around her wrist and tugged, trying to get her to turn around and look at him. The pain in his eyes made the ache in her chest worsen. "I-I…" he ran an unsteady hand through his hair. "I don´t know what I was thinking. Just…don´t…"
"How are we supposed to be together if you can´t trust me?" she asked in a hoarse whisper. "You don´t believe in me, so how can you believe in us?"
He took one of her slim hands between both of his. "I fucked up, okay. I know that. But Angel…I can´t lose you again…"
She sat up slowly, exhaustion making her body feel heavy. "You need to think about this. I need you to be sure that you can trust me. Because if you can´t…" she let the sentence hang unspoken between them.
Clary was curled up under a blanket on the couch, staring at the big plasma TV in front of her.
Qhuinn strode in to the game room, snatched the remote from her lose grip and turned it off.
"Hey," she scowled. "I was watching that."
"Sure ya were, nalla," he rolled his eyes and threw himself down carelessly next to her, making her bounce and the couch creak ominously. "Tell me what show it was and I´ll turn it back on."
She bit her lip in concentration as she struggled to remember what she´d been watching, but ended up drawing a complete blank. She didn´t even know what channel it had been on. She forced out a laugh. "Got me there."
"Spill," Qhuinn ordered.
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "I don´t know what you´re talking about."
"I come home to find ya lookin' like ya lost yo fuckin' puppy, ya barely touch yo food and ya keep starin' at nothin'," he gave her his don´t-fuck-with-me stare. "Tell me what the fuck is wrong or imma find the kid and beat it outta him."
"Please don´t," Clary whispered and placed a hand on his bicep. "I´m sure he has beaten himself up enough for what happened."
"Tell me, nalla," he urged her on.
Clary plucked at the hem of her shorts, which she had changed into after her shower, as she contemplated how much she wanted to reveal. She decided to forgo the details and head straight for the core of the problem. "He doesn't trust me."
Qhuinn frowned and shook his head from side to side. "Nah…I don´t think that´s it. It´s more like he don´t trust himself."
She raised her eyebrows incredulously. "Say what?"
"Lemme see if I got this right. You dumped him, don´t matter what yo reasons were. You came back one year later, without so much as a word during the time ya were gone. You arrived at the first day of school with a hot new guy sportin' a smokin' bod in tow… Am I missin' anythin' so far?"
"No, but… If he lov…wants to be with me he should trust me. Trust that he´s the only one for me," she drew a shaky breath, "you know."
"The kid is crazy 'bout ya, nalla," Qhuinn said with emphasis. "Or he might just be crazy. After all, he was ready to take me on to get to ya," he chuckled, impressed. "But since you´re makin' this into a question 'bout trust. How come ya ain´t told him the whole truth, huh? That it wouldna be an issue anymore."
Clary gaped at him, blushed and stuttered. "B-because I-I…"
"'Cause ya want 'im to trust ya, right?"
She stared at her hands in her lap, ashamed. "Yes."
"There ya go," he nodded, looking mighty proud of himself for getting to the real matter at hand. "Let´s go to bed. Seems to me like ya got some thinkin' to do."
Clary hugged him tightly and thanked him for his help.
As she climbed underneath her covers she noticed that the drawer in her nightstand was halfway opened.
Closing it, she turned off the light.
A/N: So, I´m getting a lot of 'complaints' that Jace needs to learn the truth already… So the next chapter he will be. But it will take a while to get done. Since I have to get three chapters into one, without making it that long. But, that's fine =) Let me know what you thought, key… =)