A/N: Today (November 7th) is chocolate cake day in Sweden. So I thought I would celebrating by posting the next chapter. I really hope everyone is happy with the result. I know things move quicker than expected, but some stuff just needed to happen before anything else could. Hope you like it!

This story has been beta'd by cboo2501 and Worm in the Apple and pre-read by, Aliherondale333 and bethgreat97.

All recognizable characters are owned by Cassandra Clare and J.R Ward

Every Avenue – Between you and I

Red – Best is yet to come

Gavin DeGraw – I have you to thank

Stereo Skyline – Sorry I stole your girlfriend

Foreigner – Feels like the first time

My Darkest Days – Without you

Chapter 10

The truth will keep us together

Idiot

Jace slammed his fist against the steering wheel.

You god damn stupid fucker.

When he´d entered Clary´s room he had been hit with an overwhelming curiosity to see what she had in her nightstand. He knew it was kind of weird and more than a little creepy, but as he tried to talk himself out of it, he had only moved closer and before he knew it, his hand was on the round knob. He had never looked inside a girl's drawer before and wondered if it was anything like his, filled with condoms, loose change and lube – for those times when he needed something more than the palm of his own hand.

When he saw the bridal magazines, it was as if something inside of him cracked. He didn´t delude himself into believing that he was the groom in her marital fantasies as questions began to churn in his head. Why did she have them? Had Qhuinn asked her to marry him? Was that why he was okay with Jace being with her, because he knew that he would have her in the end? It seemed plausible since they already shared a last name.

When she had entered the room with snacks, he had kissed her, played with her fucktastic breasts, and finally brought a hand to her folds, finding her soooo wet for him he could barely control himself. And her taste… he unconsciously licked his lips just thinking about it. It was by far the most delicious thing he´d ever had in his mouth. When she had reached her peak and closed her eyes, he´d snapped, fearing that she might be pretending that he was someone else.

But he hadn´t meant to call her out on it. Jace took a deep, raspy breath. He´d really fucked up this time, and he had no idea how to fix it.

When Clary didn´t show up for school the next morning, Jace went in to full blown panic mode. He tried getting in touch with her several times during the course of the day, but never got an answer.

While driving up to his house later, his phone rang. It was her.

Finally.

"Shit, Angel, I´m so fucking glad you called. I´m soooo fucking sorry, I can´t even begin to tell you how sorry I am." The words came pouring out of him, as if he was afraid that he wouldn´t get the chance to say everything he needed to if he didn´t talk fast enough. "I just keep fucking up, don´t I? I´m…please…."

Clary was silent so long that he worried that she´d hung up on him. When he was about to check, he heard her sigh.

"I…care about you, Jace," she spoke almost too low for him to hear. "But if you can´t believe me when I say there is no one else…"

"I trust you, I do," he jumped in quickly. "Please, let me come over… Or you could come here… or we can meet somewhere…" he knew he sounded like a moron, but he couldn´t care less. He needed her, he…

"Okay," her soft voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Okay?" he asked, just to be sure.

"Yes. You can come over."

"Great. Terrific. I´ll be there in fifteen."

Thirteen minutes and forty-eight seconds later, Jace parked his car outside of Clary´s house. He had spent the whole drive there giving himself an encouraging pep talk. But if he was honest he didn´t really believe that he stood a chance after what he had done. Either way, the ball was completely in her court, so without further ado, he got out of his car and walked up to the front door.

Instead of ringing the bell – he knew how much she hated it and he hoped to score some points – he decided to knock, hoping she would hear him.

However, before his knuckles could even reach the front door, it flew open, revealing Clary, dressed in a large t-shirt and a pair of sweats. He took in every detail, from her disheveled hair to her bare feet and instantly he felt his heart swell. Even dressed in her worst, she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Not knowing if this would be the last time, he pulled her against his chest and kissed her. His suddenness caused her to gasp and he used the opportunity to plunge his tongue into her mouth, swirling it with her own. Jace's heart soared when he realized that she was actually kissing him back. He cupped the back of her head in his hands and pressed her even closer.

He ended the kiss with a heavy sigh and then took a step back, afraid to meet her eyes as he awaited the verdict.

"You shouldn´t have done that," her words cut through him like a knife and he swallowed against the pain. "It´s just…I can´t think when you kiss me."

His head snapped in her direction at the sound of amusement in her voice, and he stared at her in astonishment. "You…? I…"

Her lips were twitching so she pressed them together. However, he could still see the smile in her eyes. "This doesn´t mean you´re off the hook," she tried to sound stern, but the small giggle at the end ruined it. "You´re still in the doghouse, so to speak."

Jace felt the relief wash over him, "I´ll take it." The laughter that came from deep inside his chest was somehow both happy and full of self-loathing. Would he ever stop fucking up?

"I just need to know one thing before we can move forward," Clary looked deep into his eyes, her green ones dark with worry. "Can you trust that I´m not with Qhuinn?"

He wanted to blurt out 'yes', to make everything right between them again. But for the sake of his own sanity, and probably hers too, he had to think about it, to make sure that what he said was the truth. "Yes," his voice was calm, strong.

Her breath left her body in a gush and she closed her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered.

Jace wasn´t sure when her relationship with Qhuinn had ended, but from the way she responded to his kisses and touches, it told him that whatever had been going on was now over. "Tell me what I can do to make it up to you."

Clary chewed on her lip. "For starters you can go to the Halloween thing at Pandemonium with me," she looked up at him with a hopeful smile that turned into a grin as he groaned.

"For you, I will" he agreed. "But only because I fucked up and need to make amends. Don´t get used to it."

They stood there for a moment, unsure of what else to say. Jace leaned back on his heels. "So…you wanna do something?" He wanted to ask why she hadn´t been in school, but at the same time he didn´t. Even though he deserved it, he couldn´t stand to hear that she had suffered from the same sleepless night he had. Surprisingly, he found himself hoping that Qhuinn had comforted her. Now that he 'won' he had no problem being gracious. He just wanted her to be happy.

"You can come in if you want, but Qhuinn will be home soon. He TiVod The Mentalist yesterday and wanted to watch it."

Jace eyed her carefully, a little confused by what she meant. "You don´t want me here when he´s home?"

"No, that´s not what I meant… I just… I thought that you might not…"

"Hey," he cupped her face in his hands and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I trust you, I want to be with you. Of course I don´t mind that your ex will be around as long as you don´t."

A look that Jace couldn´t quite decipher crossed her face. It sort of looked like acceptance. But before he had the chance to analyze it, Clary smiled and took his hand. "So what do you want to do while we wait?" she asked as she pulled him into the house.

"What would you have done if I wasn´t here?"

She tapped a finger against her chin. "I probably would have thrown something together for Qhuinn to eat and watched the show with him."

"Let´s do that then," Jace smiled and led her to the kitchen. He opened the fridge, ready for her instructions, when a thought hit him. "What kinda snacks are we talking about? Because I´ve seen what he eats and…" he shuddered dramatically. "Yuck."

"Ah," her smirk was full of understanding. "You´ve seen his Saturday-morning-breakfast-for-champions."

"He eats like that every Saturday?" a look of disgust clear on his face.

"Yup," she laughed hard at his expression. "And every third Sunday. You learn to live with it," Clary shrugged.

And how long are you planning to 'live with it' exactly? The question popped up in Jace's mind but he was smart enough to keep quiet.

"Can you get the cream cheese and the brie," Clary asked as she lined up apples, bananas, an orange and grapes next to the cutting board. "Oh, and see if you can find an open box of crackers in the pantry," she started cutting the fruit into squares for a salad.

Jace did as she asked while secretly wondering how that would be enough for the three of them. Qhuinn can probably eat the whole thing himself, you know, as dessert, after devouring a cow or two.

"Can you take out eight chicken drumsticks from the freezer," she smiled over her shoulder. "Take more if you want some too."

"I thought the fruit salad and the crackers were the snack," Jace replied as he set up the tray while she fried the chicken.

"No, that´s for us," she gave him a peck on the cheek. "'that crap ain´t nothin' for a growin' man,'" she said in a horrible impression of Qhuinn's voice, making Jace laugh.

They continued to work mostly in silence. The only sound came from the oil sizzling in the pan and Clary's out of tune humming. Jace found himself smiling as he enjoyed how comfortable, how normal it felt to do something as mundane as prepare a meal with her.

He might not be ready to utter the words to her, but there was no doubt in his mind. He loved Clary and he had since he was twelve years old, probably longer. But twelve was the age he´d first been able to put a name to the flutter in his stomach, the sweating of his palms, and the racing of his heart whenever she was near. As he glanced at her from the corner of his eye he reached a certainty that was completely new to him, she felt the same way.

Watching Qhuinn eat wasn´t a new experience for Jace. But the way the guy almost attacked the poor defenseless chicken was both disgusting and intriguing. He devoured his food, more or less inhaling it just like he had the ice cream.

Jace was glad he´d already seen this episode of The Mentalist, because his focus kept jumping from the girl in his arms to her ex-boyfriend.

He didn´t even noticed that the TV had been turned off until Qhuinn spoke between bites of what was left of the fruit and cracker. Apparently it was good enough for him when nothing else was available. "So kid, waddaya think 'bout the list?"

"Huh?" Jace had no clue what he was talking about.

"The possible suspects for Red John," Qhuinn explained impatiently.

"Um…I dunno," Jace shrugged. "I´ve always thought that Bret Stiles was a little…suspicious."

Qhuinn nodded. "Good choice. How 'bout ya, nalla?"

"You already know," she sounded annoyed, like they´d had the same discussion many times before.

"Yeah, but the kid don´t," Qhuinn grinned as she rolled her eyes.

"Fine," Clary huffed. "Kirkland. Ever since he first showed up in the show I´ve known he´s Red John."

"Pfft," Qhuinn snorted. "Ya don´t know shit."

Jace expected Qhuinn to tell him who he suspected and was surprised when he didn´t. "What about you?" Jace asked.

Clary shook her head with a wry smile. "His suspect isn´t on the list?"

"Oh?" Jace pondered who it could be. "Cho? Nah, man. He´s cool."

Qhuinn raised an eyebrow as if to dare him to disagree. "Jane."

"What?" Jace sputtered incredulously. "No way. Jane? Red John killed his family for fuck sakes."

"Yeah, you´re right. Nobody has ever killed their own family before," Qhuinn gave Jace a condescending look. "My bad."

"I just don´t see it," Jace shrugged. "He´s a great guy. He works with the cops for crying out loud."

"Hellooo," Qhuinn scoffed, "have you ever seen Dexter?"

Clary got up from Jace's lap. "I´m going to my room," she said and gave him a kiss. "Come when you´re done, okay?"

"Sure, yeah, okay," Jace mumbled, barely aware that she left. "You can´t compare Dexter to Patrick Jane."

"Sure I can," Qhuinn gesticulated wildly. "Don´t Jane seem a lil' schitzo to you? And Red John's siggys look a fuck of a lot like Jane, don´t ya think? I´m just sayin', when the show is over ya´ll know I´m right."

"Whatever," Jace scowled. "I might be wrong about Stiles, but you definitely are about Jane."

They glared at each other before bursting out laughing. "You got balls, kid, I´ll give ya that."

Jace laughter died out and he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Hey man…I-I´m sorry, okay."

Qhuinn looked confused. "For what? Bret Stiles? Don´t matter, can´t all be right ya know."

"Nah," Jace fidgeted slightly. "For Clary…you know…For taking her away from you and all."

Qhuinn snickered. "That´s bullcrap and ya know it, kid. Ya ain´t sorry. Ya think you oughta be, there´s a difference."

Jace frowned. The big guy was right. "But still…"

"Don´t sweat it, kid," Qhuinn grinned. "Just make 'er happy, yeah?"

"I will," Jace smiled, relieved that he´d cleared the air. It might be over between Qhuinn and Clary, but Jace knew they still meant a lot to each other and she lived at his house.

"Oi," Qhuinn chuckled. "Than what the fuck are ya still doin' here? She´s in her room! Go!"

"Yeah, thanks," Jace thought about shaking his hand, but that would be a little too weird.

"Run, kid, run," Qhuinn boomed loudly and let out a thunderous guffaw.

As he opened Clary's door, she looked up at him from where she lay on the bed. "Should I leave the door open, or…" he let the sentence drop.

"Close it," she answered.

He sat down at the foot of her bed but jumped up as if something burnt him when he remembered what had taken place in that exact spot just yesterday. "Um…so what do you wanna do now?" he asked and sat down on the chair at her desk. Jace tried to stop the images that flashed before his eyes, the amazing little noises she had made, the way she felt, but his dick hardened instantly and pushed uncomfortably at his button fly.

Clary pouted. "What are you doing all the way over there?" she patted the spot next to her on the bed. "Come here."

Jace cleared his throat. "Better not."

"Oh? Oh!" she blushed as she realized what he meant. "I never…It was…I liked it."

"Yeah?" A huge, proud grin spread over his face as he slowly approached her bed. "Me too," a furrow puckered between his brows. "Well, except for the ending. I fucked that up pretty bad, didn´t I?"

"I can do without that the next time," the color over her cheeks darkened when she realized what she had said.

Jace shifted his weight between his feet and shoved his hands deep inside his jeans pockets, discretely trying to adjust his dick that had started to throb almost painfully. He swallowed hard. "Maybe we should get out of here? You know…do something… catch a movie or whatever?" He wanted nothing more than to take the next step with her, to leave his marks all over her tight little body, and to show the whole world that she was his. The slightly creepy, possessive part of him wanted to stamp 'property of Jace Lightwood' on her forehead…and maybe that sexy ass. But he would wait. For her. Even if it killed him.

"You…" Clary worried her lip and seemed to have trouble meeting his eyes. "You don´t want to…um…stay here?"

Jace chuckled softly. "Believe me, Angel, I want to. But the next time anything like that happens again…" he put two fingers beneath her chin and tipped it up gently, to get her to look at him. "The next time I want to be able to take my time and enjoy every single inch of your body, and maybe have you do the same for me… If that´s something you would…"

She blushed and nodded eagerly.

He was having trouble trying to keep himself from throwing her down on the bed and ravishing her right there. "C´mon," he smiled. "Let´s get something to eat. We can call it the first step in letting me make it up to you."

Jace entered Taki's with his fingers laced with Clary's.

They were approached by Tessa before they even had the chance to take a seat. "Oh, my god," Tessa exclaimed and embraced Clary tightly before taking a step back and placing her hands on Clary's shoulders. "Look at you. You´re all grown up. Tell me everything, how are you?"

Tessa was merely in her mid-twenties, but she had a motherly way about her that was strangely comforting.

"I´m good," Clary glanced at Jace. "Great actually," she smiled softly. "How´s everything with you? How´s Will? I haven´t had the chance to eat here since I came back. Is the food as amazing as when I was working here?"

"Why don´t you order something for yourself and find out?" Tessa winked at her.

"Okay, I would like a bacon cheeseburger, with two slices of cheese, one piece of bacon on one side and three pickles on the other," she rattled off without looking at the menu. It was the same thing she always ordered whenever they ate there.

Jace smiled at the familiarity and pulled her closer to his side.

"Not much has changed, I see," Tessa chuckled. "What can I get you Jace?"

"Just a regular burger with sweet potato fries, please."

"Okay," Tessa wrote down their order. "I´ll notify the cook. Anything to drink?"

"I´ll have a coke," Jace said.

"And I´ll take a coke zero," Clary decided.

Tessa disappeared into the kitchen to talk to the cook.

Jace nuzzled Clary's neck, peppering her sensitive skin with small kisses, when a loud crash that sounded distinctly of falling pans, startled them.

They barely had the time to turn in the direction of the commotion when the revolving door to the kitchen slammed open and out barreled the cook. Without so much as a hallo, he scooped up Clary in his arms and spun her around

"Will…can´t…breathe," she grunted and fought to free herself of his tight grip.

He lowered her until her feet touched the ground and loosened his hold on her. "What is this?" Will looked at her with his violet-blue eyes, making Jace edgy. "You don´t call, you don´t write," Will continued, his voice accusatory. "Then you show up out of nowhere with the same boy in tow." Glancing at Jace he said, "I see your taste in men hasn´t approved while you were gone," he smirked at Jace, earning an angry scowl in return.

Jace knew that Will was happily married to Tessa and that he saw Clary as his little sister, but he never could stand the older man's flirty attitude. It had been even worse when she worked there.

Clary snickered and gave him a friendly slap on his chest. "Nothing has changed her either, I see. I thought for sure that Tessa would´ve run off with a rich customer by now."

"Nah," Will released Clary to Jace's relief and wrapped an arm around his wife's waist. "The old lady couldn´t live without me."

Tessa giggled. "We´ll see about that. Now get your butt back into the kitchen, the food won´t cook itself."

Time seemed to travel faster when you were enjoying yourself and before Jace knew it, it was Friday at lunch.

Clary and Izzy was talking, but he had no idea what they were saying. He had zoned out the second Clary had brought out a banana.

Fuck. Those damn things must´ve been designed to torment guys across the world.

"Oh, we´re going to have so much fun," Izzy squealed. "It will be like the sleepovers we had when we were younger."

Say what? "Huh?" Jace realized that he had missed something.

Clary giggled at the puzzled look on his face. "I asked Iz if I could spend the night at your house. Qhuinn is kicking me out, said he had some things that he needed to do and didn´t want me 'cramping his style'. I have to be back there early in the morning though. Blay set up an appointment with some designer."

Jace started breathing heavily. The thought of her spending the night in his house, even if it was in his sister's bed and not his, made his palms sweat and his mouth water.

"Don´t get any ideas, perv," Izzy wagged a finger at him. "It´s a girl's night, which translates to 'no boys allowed'.

Jace didn´t care, she would be under the same roof as him, making it easy to steal a kiss or two during the evening. His mind wandered off as he, not for the first time, wondered how much experience Clary had. He didn´t kid himself into believing that she was still a virgin, but as he thought about how tight she´d been when he stuck his fingers inside of her, he suspected that it had been a while since she had sex. Or, he laughed on the inside; Qhuinn's Hummer might be compensating for something else…

Either way, he would never dream of pressuring her into something she wasn´t ready for. However, since he was walking around with a permanent hard-on, he couldn't help but pray to any god who would listen that she´d be ready soon.

CPOV

Clary tossed and turned as much as she was able in Izzy's bad. The other girl was taking up more than half of the space and Clary felt more than a little squished. It had almost been an hour since they´d turned off the lights but she wasn´t any closer to falling asleep then she had been when they´d first decided to call it a night.

She´d a wonderful time. Pigging out while giggling and discussing the usual girl talk.

She thought about the disgusted look Izzy got whenever Clary would overshare about Jace and had to stifle a laugh so she didn´t wake the snoring girl next to her. Clary had eventually been forced to refer to him as 'that guy I like', then Izzy could pretend that she wasn´t talking about her brother.

Ah, Jace….

He had been deliberately driving her crazy the whole night. Although he´d been ordered to stay out of the living room he had come up with the most ridiculous reasons for passing through on several occasions. Every time he´d given her small kisses, stoked her arm, or whispering cute nothings in her ear. After the third appearance she had been a quivering mess, ready to jump him the next time he appeared.

Only Izzy's presence stopped her. That, and Jace's knowing smirk that revealed he was completely aware of what he was doing.

Heat erupted inside of her body when she heard footsteps pass by Izzy's door. Only one other person had their bedroom on that side of the house, and it wasn´t Alec.

She pictured him getting undressed and those images of his naked form inflamed her burning desire, making it almost unbearable. Her breath came out in heavy pants as she slid out of the bed, careful not to wake up Izzy.

She wanted him, had to have him, she was ready. Now!

Clary peaked out in the hallway to make sure that no one would see her sneak out of Izzy's room. When she reached Jace's door she had to take several deep breaths before she mustered up the courage to knock.

"Come in," his voice was muted by the door, but she heard it clearly enough.

She opened the door and closed it quietly behind her. Once inside, her bravado seemed to leave her and she stood staring at her feet, almost afraid to meet his eyes.

"What are you doing in my room?" his voice sounded mildly curious, and when she looked up and saw his naked chest her heart started beating unbelievably fast.

She shuffled her feet, a blush of embarrassment colored her cheeks. "Um…Iz hogs the whole bed and…I was wondering if I could sleep here with you?" she held her breath as she waited for his answer, afraid to see rejection in his golden gaze. Instead, she let her eyes travel further down his torso, she almost moaned when she caught sight of the slight tenting against the blanket that covered him from the waist down.

Oh my…

"I don´t know if that´s such a good idea, Angel," Jace's husky voice made her look up at him.

"Oh…but…" she sucked her bottom lips into her mouth, her eyes widened when she heard him groan. "Why?"

His throaty chuckle sounded a bit unsteady. "I´m trying to…take it slow with you. But, if you sleep here, in my bed, dressed like that," he gestured to her short tank and boy shorts, "I don´t think I´ll be able to…take it slow…"

Clary moved closer to the bed with a determined look on her face. "Maybe I don´t want you to…take it slow."

She watched Jace close his eyes and swallow hard. "Please, Angel," he whispered. "I-I don´t think I could… I can´t stop at kisses…not tonight."

She licked her suddenly dry lips, her breath coming out in small, quiet gasps. "I don´t want you to stop. I want you, Jace. All of you."

His eyes snapped open and he stared at her like he wasn´t sure if she was real. "Are you sure?"

Her legs hit the mattress and she was standing right beside him. Her shallow, quick pants caused her braless breasts to bounce softly. "Yes, I´m very sure."

Jace sat up, pulled her down onto the bed and pressed his mouth to hers. Then gently, searching, Clary's tongue trailed the seam o of his closed lips, desperate to deepen the kiss.

They laid there next to each other, their tongues caressing tenderly. Clary put a shaky hand against Jace's naked chest, her whole body was trembling. She was incredibly nervous, but there was no doubt in her mind that this was what she wanted.

Jace's strong hands slid underneath her tank and she shivered from the contact against her naked skin.

He broke away from the kiss and whispered hoarsely. "Can I…" he tugged slightly at the hem, to show her what he wanted.

She didn´t answer, she wasn´t even sure if she could speak at that point. Instead she wordlessly pulled the tank over her head. Feeling a little self-conscious, her hands went to cover her breasts but the look of adoration in Jace's eyes stopped her.

"You´re beautiful," he sounded almost reverent.

She cried out when his lips closed around her right nipple, while his fingers tugged at her left.

Jace's free hand hitched her leg over his hip, urging her closer.

Clary grinded against his prominent erection and the groan that gesture provoked sent vibrations all over her skin.

"Jace," she sighed blissfully as he nipped at her flesh.

Switching his attention to her other breast his hand traveled down to the waistband of her boy shorts. He stopped there, as if waiting for her permission and when she moaned out a quiet, "Yesssss," his fingers slipped inside.

He ran his fingers along her slick folds. "Fuck, you´re so wet Angel," he breathed.

Clary blushed and looked away. Jace placed a hand on her chin and turned her back. "Don´t be embarrassed," he cooed softly. "I loooooove it."

To demonstrate just how much he kissed her passionately as he slid two fingers inside her heated slit. His thumb grazed her clit, her sob of pleasure consumed by his mouth.

His fingers moved in and out of her swiftly and it wasn´t long until she screamed out her orgasm.

Jace rested his forehead against Clary's. Their breaths came out in quick, short pants.

"I swore I would let you set the pace, Angel. But I-I…" he shook his head. "I really want you and it´s getting hard to not…"

She quieted him with a kiss. "Don´t wait. I want you now…Please."

He helped her out of her underwear and took off his own. Gently moving her to the middle of the bed he positioned himself between her legs. She shivered with anticipation as she felt the blunt head of his dick probing her entrance.

"Are you sure, Angel?" his voice was raspy with lust. "I can still stop…I think…"

Clary merely smiled and wrapped her legs around his waist. He kissed her and she arched her back as he buried himself inside her with a hard thrust.

Her small yelp of pain was muted by his tongue in her mouth. As it vanished, incredible pleasure washed over her.

Jace moved inside of her with deep, slow strokes. It wasn´t long before the pressure started building in the pit of her stomach again.

"You feel soooo goooooood," he groaned.

As small whimpers escaped her lips he rubbed her clit, sending her flying over the edge. "Jaaaaceeeee."

He started thrusting faster, harder and soon he followed her, crying out her name in return.

Clary had no clue how long they laid there, letting their breathing slowed. Jace slipped out of her and pulled her against his sweat covered chest.

Just before sleep claimed her she thought she heard him whispering, "I love you."

Back to JPOV

Jace woke up the next morning with a smile on his face. He reached out for Clary without opening his eyes and frowned with disappointment when he found that the bed beside him empty. He knew she had to leave early, but had hoped he would be awake to kiss her good morning before she left.

He opened his eyes when his hand touched a piece of paper lying on the pillow she had slept on.

'I was hoping to see you before I left. But you looked so peaceful I didn´t want to wake you. See you later? xoxo C'

He stretched, causing the blanket to fall off him and down to the floor. The tiny bloodstain in the middle of the sheets almost stopped his heart.

She was a virgin?

The joy he felt from being her first warred with shame for being less than gentle with her.

Shit! What have I done? Did I hurt her? But how could I have known when she never told me?

His searched through the memories forever embedded in his brain and decided that, no, she had enjoyed it as much as he had.

After a quick shower he descended the stares and whistled as he entered the kitchen.

He nodded to his siblings as he fixed his breakfast over by the counter.

Wonder if Clary is done yet. When can I see her again? Would it be too soon to call?

He almost missed the cream colored envelope that rested on the table with his name on it.

He used the butter knife to open it and took out the thick paper.

'You are cordially invited to attend the wedding between Qhuinn Lohstrong and…'

He stared at the words for a long time without fully comprehending what it meant. He couldn´t get himself to read the rest, "I need…I need to sit down."

He stumbled over to his usual chair at the table with Alec and Izzy staring at him like they were about to offer him either a paper bag to breathe into, or some Kleenex.

He couldn´t seem to draw any air into his lungs. He wasn´t sure what the fuck was going into his mouth, but whatever that shit was, it wasn´t doing a damn thing to clear the dizziness in his head or the burning sensation in his chest.

"Put your head between your knees, Jace," Alec's hand landed on his shoulder and gently pushed him down. "Go on now."

He did as he was told and started to shake so badly that if it hadn´t been for Alec's hand holding him steady, he would´ve fallen to the floor.

"Jace?" Izzy's voice sounded as if it came from far away.

Jace didn´t answer. He crumbled the invitation in his clenched fist, feeling the stiff, thick paper dig in to his palm. He got unsteadily to his feet. "I-I gotta…go." He stuttered and grabbed his car keys from the kitchen counter.

"Jace, wait," Izzy followed him.

Picking up his pace, he reached his car and sped off before she could catch up with him.

The plan was to just drive around and try to clear his head, but less than a half hour later he was parked in front of Clary's house. His grip tightened on the wheel and he counted slowly to ten, struggling to get his emotions under control, without any success.

Jace killed the engine and walked over to the front door. He didn´t bother ringing the doorbell, instead he banged his fist hard against the wood, taking out his aggression on the inanimate object.

Blay opened the door with a smile. "Couldn´t stay away? Don´t worry, she´s almost done."

"Where is she?" Jace snarled.

Blay frowned and opened the door all the way, revealing Clary in the middle of the room wearing only an underdress a shade shy of being see-through. In front of her was a pixie-sized woman with measuring tape in her hands. Clary's eyes lit up when she spotted Jace and she smiled. "Hi, I didn´t know that you´d be coming over. As soon as I´m done we can do whatever you like…" she blushed furiously at the end of the sentence.

He pulled the crumbled up invitation from his back pocket and asked, "What the fuck is this supposed to be?" he didn´t raise his voice, making it more scarier.

"Um…" A deep furrow appeared between her eyes. "It´s a wedding invitation."

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" His voice gained volume at the end. "You´ve been fucking lying to me for weeks!"

Her bottom lip started trembling and all color left her face. "I´m sorry," the words was barely audible.

"Sorry? You´re sorry!? Fuck you, Clary," he curled his lips into a cold smile. "No wait, I already did that."

She recoiled from his words as if he slapped her, but before she could come up with a response Qhuinn entered the room. "What´s going on here?" His eyes jumped between Clary and Jace. "nalla?"

"Oh look, if it isn´t the fucking groom," Jace almost shook with rage. "If you were looking forward to a white wedding you´re shit outta luck, and I got the bloody sheets to prove it."

Clary gasped. "Jace, no…"

He forced out a bitter laugh. "Aww...Maybe I shouldn´t have said that, huh?" The pain in her eyes made his heart ache, only resulting in making him angrier. "I fucking loved you, you bitch, and all you did was play me…"

He was cut off by Qhuinn's fist hitting him square in the jaw. Jace stumbled back, but didn´t fall. The only thing he could thin was that he should probably be grateful that Qhuinn hadn't used his full strength, or Jace would´ve eaten his dinner through a straw from now on.

"Think before ya speak, kid," the threat was clear in the giant's growl. "Just read the fuckin' invite."

A look of defiance crossed over Jace's face and he spit out blood on the floor. "Fuck you. You don´t get to tell me what to do."

Qhuinn sighed deeply. "Can ya hold 'im, babe?"

Jace was puzzled when Blay grabbed his arms and pinned the behind his back.

Babe? What the fuck?

Qhuinn picked the invitation from off the floor where it had fallen when he punched Jace. He smoothed it out carefully and held it in front of Jace's glaring eyes. "Read!"

Jace stared at it, without actually seeing it. Hoping Qhuinn would be satisfied with that.

But of course he wasn´t. "Out. Loud!"

Jace cleared his throat unnecessarily and started reading. "You are cordially invited to attend the wedding between Qhuinn Lohstrong and Blaylock Rocke…" his eyes widened and he stared gaping at the man in front of him. Oh shit! What have I done? "Fuck." His whole body slumped forward, to the point that Blay's grip was the only thing that kept him on his feet.

"Pretty much, yeah," Qhuinn mumbled.

"Jace? Are you okay?" Clary's low question felt like a punch in the gut. He couldn´t look at her, shame burning inside of him. "I-I…I gotta get out of here." Blay let him go and Jace stumbled before righting himself and walked to the door. He heard Clary calling out for him, but didn´t turn around.

He closed the door behind him just before his knees gave out and he almost fell down onto the porch. He didn´t know how much time passed as he sat there, staring ahead without seeing anything. It could´ve been minutes, days, weeks or even years.

He never even heard the front door open or close, but he could feel the moment she came outside and sat down next to him. "I can´t keep apologizing," he said in a broken whisper. "And you shouldn´t have to forgive me every time I fuck up," the next sound that came out of his mouth was a poor excuse for a laugh. "Because let´s face it, I do that a lot."

Clary didn´t speak, and her silence was slowly killing him. Just when he thought he would go insane if she didn´t say something she finally opened her mouth. "I think I fell in love with you the first time I met you. I might not have been aware of what I felt, but for as long as I can remember it had always been you. I missed you practically every day I was gone and Qhuinn was the one that held me together when longing became too much to take. He took me in and became my guardian when I had no place to go. He´s the reason I could return to you…" she wiped away a lone tear and swallowed hard. "He´s like a brother to me, a father. I love him…" deep breath "…but not the same way I love you." She turned her eyes towards him for the first time since joining him on the porch. "I guess I was hurt that you didn´t believe me all the times I told you there was nothing going on between me and him. I needed you to trust me no matter how it looked and I´m sorry for that. I should´ve been completely honest with you from the start, then none of this would´ve happened."

Jace blinked repeatedly, blaming the stinging in his eyes on the sunlight that shone in his face. "Did I ever tell you why I was at the orphanage?" he asked quietly. When Clary shook her head he continued. "Nothing had happened to my parents or anything, they just didn´t want me."

"I´m sure that´s not true," Clary denied.

"Oh, but it is. I heard the head of the orphanage ask Maryse and Robert when they came to take me home if they were sure they had chosen the right child. Who could ever want me, if my own parents had abandoned me?"

She stated weeping soundlessly, heartbroken for him and what he went through.

"The only constant in my life was you. I was so sure that we would always be together and then you broke up with me and I was back outside that door, hearing that no one would ever want me. When I found out about your reason for breaking up with me I ran as fast as I could, but I got there too late."

"You…came?" she sobbed

Jace took her hands in his. "Of course I came. I would´ve spent every second with you until you had to leave if I had just known about it. I would´ve waited for you to come back to me."

"I was going to tell you that I was leaving, but you ran away before I had the chance, but Jace…no matter how much I loved you, I didn´t want you to wait for me…Understand that I had no idea when I would be able to come back, if at all… I couldn´t ask that of you."

Jace nodded. "I get that." He continued with his story. "I spent most of that year trying to get over you, but nothing seemed to work. Almost every night I dreamt that you never left in the first place. When you returned I was so angry. 'How dare she just waltz back into my life like nothing happened? Who the hell does she thing she is?'" He stroked his thumbs over the palms of her hands absentmindedly. "I told myself I felt nothing for you, when the truth was that I felt everything. The reason I couldn´t trust you, or Iz for that matter, was that, if I dared to hope, to believe and it was all a lie…That would´ve crushed me," he laughed self-critically. "Instead I crushed us."

Clary's hand had been lying loosely in his, but now she gripped them, hard. "Are we?" she asked, almost frantically. "Crushed? I love you, Jace. Always have, always…"

He smiled softly. "I love you too, Angel. But do you think you could forgive me?"

A noise between a sob and a giggle escaped her slightly parted lips. "I probably shouldn´t, should I? But I can´t deny that a big part of this is all my fault. So, yeah, I forgive you. Can you forgive me?"

Jace pried his hands from hers and cupped her face. "Of course. But no more secrets, okay? No more lies."

She nodded eagerly. "Deal."

"And we´re taking it slow. No sex, at least for a while." He laughed freely when she pouted. "We have to get to know each other again and to start it off I´m going to take you out tonight. On a real date," her bright smile made his heart speed up. "Dress nicely, and I´ll pick you up at seven."

"Okay, seven. Sounds great."

"Well, before I go home I guess I have to congratulate Qhuinn and Blay on their upcoming wedding," his expression looked slightly nervous. "And hope that he doesn´t punch me again."

A/N: I had to speed up everything, that´s why some parts feel a little rushed, but I hoped everyone is happy with the outcome. Let me know, okay. Happy chocolate cake day!