We Will Become Silhouettes - The Shins
A rush of affection spread through Shepard at the sight of Garrus approaching her at the gate to the Alliance base on Rayingri. He was dressed in black civvies that brought out his eyes, and in one hand he carried a case of Belgian beer (her father's favourite) and in the other he carried a bouquet of gladiolus flowers (her mother's favourite).
"You found my parents' favourites! How did you know?"
"Having the Shadow Broker a short comm wave away can have its advantages." His mandibles flickered and Shepard went up on her toes to kiss his uninjured one.
"You're amazing," she muttered.
His mouth briefly quivered in emotion, but he collected himself quickly: a true soldier. "After you," he said, gesturing towards the base.
Shepard set off towards her family home, waving at the occasional solider that they passed. All of them returned the wave, but many faces were adorned with puzzled expressions. The sun was setting over the barren landscape of Rayingri, and if you looked away from the base you could see the flat, barren land for miles. It wasn't a beautiful place, but for a woman who spent the vast majority of her childhood on ships, it was the closest thing to home that she possessed.
They reached a small house that was designed in the same fashion as the rest on the base: small, grey, with one floor and minimal windows with a hatch leading to a bunker along the side of the house. It wasn't as warm and homely as Garrus considered his family house on Palaven to be, and it gave him a degree of perspective to realize that Zoey's upbringing may not have been as privileged as his own.
Shepard opened the grey, concrete door and poked her head into the door before crying out "hello?"
A hurricane of a woman appeared, sweeping Zoey into her arms briefly before releasing her and spinning back into the kitchen. While she did, she was speaking non-stop. "Oh Zoey so good to see you come into the kitchen dear I need to keep an eye on these 'dullia', I've never made dextro food before but if our Mess Sergeant can handle it I'm quite sure than I can." Garrus and Shepard followed her wordlessly into the kitchen and watched as she tended over four different pots. She was slight like Zoey but shorter with more narrow hips. Her hair was darker and pulled into a bun, and she had the exact same shade of brown to her eyes as Shepard. "I just hope that the drinks are suitable the gentleman at the liquor store said that Ambernaise is popular with turians and-"
"Mom," Zoey interrupted. "May I introduce my boyfriend, Garrus Vakarian?"
Hannah stopped and turned around to face Garrus and Shepard. "So rude of me. I'm Hannah, Hannah Shepard." When she reached to shake his hand, he shuffled the flowers and beer into the same hand and her eyes fell on the flowers. "My dear! Are those gladiolus flowers? I haven't smelled those in years!"
Garrus's mandibles fluttered as he passed them to Hannah, who seemed entirely in a dither. "Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Shepard."
"Oh you're so sweet for finding these, how did you know they're my favourite? I need to find a vase for these, Zoey dear do you mind stirring the pasta sauce; I don't want it to burn. It's so nice to meet you Garrus - please, call me Hannah - and let me give you a hug."
Garrus withheld a chuckle as the elder Shepard embraced him. Hannah was clearly a warm and high-energy woman possessing an infectious enthusiasm, with a very faint accent that Garrus recalled Zoey informing him as French.
"Belgian beer? Oliver will be so pleased, he's just gone to get dessert with Malcolm, and he'll be back shortly. Can I get you two some drinks in the mean time?"
Garrus took himself for a small tour of the house as the two women began working together on the meal. The entry way was littered with heavy boots, but the walls were adorned only with a small analog clock; the living room was to the left of the entry way, furnished with a beige couch and a mid-sized vid screen, currently muted but displaying the Alliance News Network; up the hall to the right was the master bedroom, small enough to only have room for a small wooden dresser and a double bed; and the bathroom was across the hall, fitted to exact Alliance standards. In the remainder of the hallway to the kitchen there were three photographs hanging: the first was an aged photo of the entire family, showing a squirming baby boy being held tight by a younger Hannah and a four-year-old Zoey with her hair short and standing in every direction, a glint of mischief lighting up her eyes and a streak of dirt across her left cheek. The man Garrus presumed to be her father was standing with his hands on an eight-year-old girl's shoulders, striking even in her youth with a shock of dark hair, intelligent green eyes, and a flowing smile. The second photo was of the same girl, closer to adulthood now with a black cap perched on her hair which now cascaded down her shoulders in loose curls, her smile lighting up the room even from the photo. He reached to touch the photo with his talon, Zoey's tale of her sister becoming more tragic at the sight of her. The third photo he presumed was of her parents at a human ceremony, and showed her father dressed in a white tuxedo dipping her mother (also wearing white, in a simple floor-length dress) low while kissing her.
Both voices and the comforting smell of home cooking enticed him to return to the kitchen, where Zoey and Hannah were discussing the Normandy. "Zoey, dear, you must upgrade the manifolds on those thrusters from rubber to aluminum, otherwise they're going to continue to melt and fail over time. It's an obvious design flaw with those older Hammerhead models."
"What about a steel manifold?"
"Goodness no," Hannah scoffed, "too heavy, that will just compromise your performance and you'll just have a harder time staying level."
"What should I do about the engine headers overheating on the Kodiak? Upgrade the heat shields?"
"Just wrap them, use the Hahne-Kedar manufactured heat-resistant wrap."
"Won't that take longer than just using a more heavy-duty heat shield?"
"Oui, but you'll just have to keep replacing the heat shield and it'll take more time in the long run."
Boot falls echoed from the hallway, and Garrus's attention was drawn to two men entering the room, one of which he recognized from the photos and the other who resembled a younger version of him. They both had the same shade of light brown to their hair with the intelligent green eyes that Jane had possessed. Zoey clearly obtained her height from her father, who stood only a half a foot short of Garrus while her brother was nearly level with him. The older, slightly graying gentleman reached his hand out to Garrus.
"Oliver Shepard," he said with a firm handshake.
"Dad, this is my boyfriend, Garrus Vakarian," Zoey shouted over her shoulder, her hands occupied with kneading dough.
"I brought you this." Garrus held out the case of beer, soliciting a grin from Oliver.
"You sure know the way to a man's heart," he grumbled. "Too bad you can't have one, they're delicious. One for you, Mal?"
Oliver passed one of the beers to his son, who removed the cap and took a swig. "You have good taste for a turian," the son said. "I'm Malcolm Shepard, pleasure to meet you."
"Pleasure is all mine." Garrus shook his hand as well.
"So, mom, how's that food going?" Malcolm asked as he rested a package on the counter.
"If you had set the table this morning like I asked you to it would be ready already."
The Shepard family began to buzz around the kitchen, preparing the final touches for the meal and setting the small table. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Garrus asked Hannah.
"Thank you, dear, but don't be silly, you're a guest! Just have a seat and everything will be ready shortly." He was surprised to realize that the woman had ushered him away using only her hips so that he had no choice but to take a seat and wait.
The meal went better than Garrus could have expected. The family welcomed him into their home as if he had lived there the whole time, and he was receiving constant streams of questions about himself and his family. Although too sweet for his liking, the dullia was excellent for someone making it for the first time and the berry-snap dessert was incredible; the five of them sat together for over an hour enjoying their drinks and desserts.
Oliver was the first to break the conversational atmosphere. "Well, Malcolm," he checked his watch. "It's 1855 hours, game starts in five minutes. Have you ever heard of the human sport hockey, Garrus?'
"I've read about it on the extranet, but I've never watched it."
"Interested in watching a game? It's a big one, galaxy playoffs are on, Earth vs. Citadel. Citadel is favoured, but their goalie Heinrich was injured in the game against Mars and their secondary goalie, Snow, just isn't the same."
"If you'll be patient enough to explain the rules to me I'd be happy to watch."
"Follow me into the living room then, take your drink with you."
Shepard smiled as she watched the three most important men in her life exit the room. She turned to face her mother. "I'm grateful for a chance for us to speak, actually."
"I thought that might be the case. I hinted to your father before you came to give us some private time." Hannah swirled her wine before taking a sip. "You've changed a lot, Zoey, since you were that scared eighteen-year-old going off to basic. When you tell stories about your fights, I don't see fear in your eyes. I only see determination. Is it because of Garrus?"
Shepard chuckled. "Garrus has been a guiding light for me. Things haven't been easy, but he's pulled me through. But mom... there's more. More I haven't been able to tell you, dad, and Malcolm on a potentially watched comm channel."
"Go on, sweetie."
"Cerberus... made some changes when they brought me back. They used cybernetic implants to help with the repairs, but they installed a program into the implants. Whenever I'm injured, or sick, or even aging, these cells appear that repair any damaged cells. I still feel pain, but the wounds regenerate. I... I'm sorry, I've explained this a hundred times but it never gets any less strange. I can't die, mom."
Hannah's hands rushed to cover her mouth as she gasped. "How? How is this technology even available? I heard rumours of Alliance research into it, but it sounded like it was centuries away..."
"It's Cerberus. They've sunk billions of credits into doing this for me. But their technology is limited to the implants, it's not something meant for mass production. It's meant for me only." Zoey rested her elbows on the table and put her head in her hands. "Mom, it sounds like it should be the most exciting thing in the world. Never dying! Isn't that every soldier's dream? But it doesn't feel right. Maybe it's what you taught me as a kid. That death for your people is honourable, that there's a whole other life out there after we die. Maybe it's because I've met Garrus and now I have to watch him get hurt or sick while it never happens to me. I don't know exactly what it is, but I feel unnatural. Inhuman.
"It's hard to explain, but my sense of responsibility over the lives of others has been increased so much. I'll dive in front of a shot meant for one of my teammates; because even if it means that it will hurt me it will save their life. I feel like now it's my responsibility to take the hit not just for my teammates, but for every innocent person around me. But when I fail, when someone gets hurt or dies, I feel like it's my fault. I sentenced over three hundred thousand batarians to death just to delay the Reapers. How can a person cope with that many deaths on their shoulders?" She covered her face with her hands. "I'm asking my entire crew to go on a suicide mission, knowing that no matter what happens, I come out alive. How is that fair? What sort of Commander am I?" Her eyes were burning with the threat of tears. "How can I ask someone like Garrus that I care so much about to throw his life away when I can protect him?"
"Zoey, darling, come here." Hannah approached her distraught daughter and pulled her into a tight hug, stroking her hair. "Although as a mother I'm thrilled to hear that I won't have to worry about an Alliance solider showing up at my door again notifying me of your death again, I hate to see you in this much pain. But this is something you can't control. I know that you've always been the soldier who wants to save everyone, but the truth is that you can't. Be happy that you have a crew that you care about enough that you're willing to put yourself in danger for them, but they know what they got themselves into. They would be happy to die honourably for the sake of saving the innocent. It's what they've all dedicated their lives to doing."
"I want to be able to do it all myself, mom, but I know I can't."
Hannah pulled from the hug to grip her daughter's shoulders. "Of course you can't. The only thing that you can do is put in your damn best effort. Fight as hard as you can, bring down as many of those Collectors as you can, and most importantly, care as much as you can. Show the crew how important they are to you and they'll follow you without question. But most importantly, they won't give up. They'll fight for their lives too. But they need to see you at your strongest, showing them the way and showing that you have faith in their abilities. Focus their minds on the task ahead of them, and they'll all make it through.
"As for Garrus? I think he's already shown you that he wouldn't be anywhere but by your side. You can try to get him to sit the fight out for his own good, but I guarantee you the only place he wants to be is with you, wherever you go. Don't deny him that. From what you've told me, he's supported you every step of the way since you've become a Spectre, so showing him the respect of having him always fighting by your side is the least he deserves.
"I'm happy to see the way he makes you smile. Yes, I caught the two of you sneaking glances at each other through the meal, you can't miss the way that he looks at you. He truly cares about you. I never thought I'd see you with a turian, but if he makes you happy and supports you, then I support the two of you too." Hannah heard raucous cheering from the living room. "I'm sure that I'm not the only one who supports you, either."
The two women sat in the kitchen, drinking and talking, for what felt like an eternity to Zoey. At the intermission between periods one and two, Garrus came into the kitchen to offer his assistance with cleaning up, but he was once again ushered out by Hannah. Oliver, Malcolm and he stumbled into the kitchen after the third period, passing around high fives in excitement at Earth's victory.
"I never thought that watching men move around on the ice with sticks could be so engaging," Garrus said, laughing, as he took a seat next to Zoey.
"He just liked the fights," Malcolm whispered to Zoey.
Shepard glanced at her omni-tool. "Alright, time to break up the boy's party, Joker says that everyone's back on the ship and we're ready to head to the Far Rim."
Everyone stood and made their way to the door. "Thank you so much, Mr. and Mrs. Shepard, for making such a delicious meal for me. It was incredibly thoughtful."
"You're welcome any time," Hannah said, enveloping him and then Zoey into comforting hugs.
"Stay in touch," Zoey whispered to her mother before separating.
Zoey and Garrus departed the small house to a chorus of goodbyes. As they walked, Zoey grabbed Garrus's hand and smiled up at him.
She had never been so sure that he was the right man for her.
"Shoe? Shoe! You seeing this?"
Shoe's eyes didn't lift from his datapad. "See wha'?"
"Commander Shepard is leaving the base with a turian and holding his hand... claw... talon... whatever."
Shoe's brow rose. "Shepard? The Commander Shepard? You sure 'bout that, Smith?"
"Oh yeah, brother." He increased the zoom on his visor. "That's her, alright."
Shoe stood and zoomed in with his own visor, sucking his teeth as he spotted the Commander laughing at the turian's joke. "I'll be damned."
"I have to tell Moira. She's gonna love this."
"The second you tell Moira, she's gonna tell Lisah, and then the whole damn galaxy's gonna know."
"And shouldn't the galaxy know that our 'hero' is boinging an enemy?"
"I 'spose so."
Smith frantically typed a message to his wife on his omni-tool, a wicked grin on his face.
After all, when your sister-in-law is a reporter for the Alliance News Network, it means that you're guaranteed an interview.
A/N: It's finally here! Thank you for your patience over the long weekend.
Although my family is different from Zoey's family, it was so fun to immerse myself into hers. I did add one small reference to my family in there - when I mention Hannah ushering Garrus away with her hips, it was an homage to my grandmother. When she'd be in the kitchen doing dishes and you'd offer to help, she'd just take her hips and gently push you until you realized you were in the other room. Even though Hannah is a soldier and mechanic, I had a vision in my head of her doing it.
I'd like to extend a huge thank you to everyone who has been reading this so far. Nothing makes me happier than a ping of an e-mail saying that I have a review or a new follower/favourite. Keep it up, it keeps me writing!