[FRONT COVER: A shot of Wild Tiger and Hope making a back to back pose, with a neon cityscape behind them. Hope is wearing armor that look's just like Wild Tiger's costume, except that it's black and red instead of white and green. Their costumes are covered in sponsor logos, including Kord Industries, KaibaCorp, Black Knight Securities, Wayne Enterprises, Square Enix, and DC Comics. A billboard that says "Tiger and Kitten" can be seen in the background, styled like the "Tiger and Bunny" logo. However, this is all just a thought bubble that stretches onto the back cover, where we can see Hope fast asleep on her futon. The words "NOT AN IMAGINARY STORY" are clearly visible, though the place where words "NOT A DREAM," would be are cut off by the edge of the thought bubble.]
Tokyo's Shibuya district was oddly calm at 4 in the morning. It was too late for any kind of nightlife, yet too early for the afternoon crowds the district was famous for.
If a normal person had been around at this hour, they wouldn't have seen anything except maybe a drunken partygoer desperately searching for a cab to take him home. But if they happened to be sensitive to spiritual energy, perhaps they would have witnessed a most unusual duo.
The first was an American man with a muscular build, a broad chin, and a pencil-thin moustache. He wore an orange helmet with three lights, one red, one blue, and one green, that had a small camera built into the forehead area. He also wore a patchwork garment assembled from bits and pieces of dozens of designer brands, from the casual sweaters of Mus Rattus to the fancy suits of Dragon Couture. But the most unnerving thing about him was the way he moved. He couldn't see like normal people; instead he depended on the camera in his helmet to see the world for him. Because of this, his head swiveled erratically, constantly adjusting its position like an owl looking for prey.
But even he looked normal compared to his partner, a living shadow that walked like a man. Light reflected off of him in odd ways, sometimes being immediately absorbed into the inky void of his body, other times passing straight through like he wasn't even there. In contrast to the jerky, purposeful movements of his partner, this one had a smooth, unpredictable gait. Sometime he would step normally, sometimes he began to skip, and yet other times he'd twirl around and start walking backwards. But nonetheless it all seemed natural in some way, as if he had planned it all along. Of course any menace this could have had was negated by the fact that he was wearing a giant, novelty sombrero with the words "MEXICAN DOG" written in big red letters, as well as a crude drawing of a stereotypical Mexican enjoying a hot dog.
Neither of them liked each other, that much was clear. But the fact remained that they needed each other, if only for the next few hours.
They approached the scramble crossing, where they saw a large junk pile sitting smack dab in the middle of the street. Slouched atop the pile was a third man, a gaunt young man in a black leather jacket with torn, grey jeans as well as a black baseball cap that sat on top of a red bandanna. A black tattoo of a flame pattern covered the entirety of his right hand, which was presently occupied with flicking around a slide rule as if it was a butterfly knife.
As soon as the pair were in speaking distance, in one quick motion he pocketed the slide-rule and swapped it for a blue megaphone with a black handle.
"TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!" he shouted through the megaphone. The others reflexively covered their ears, just as the man decided to put the megaphone down. "Man, I can't believe a buncha of zeroes like you made it this far." His face widened into a sinister grin as eyed the pair, first the shadow, then the fashion-impaired man with the creepy helmet. "Mr. Nobody and Crazy Quilt… you two were the last digits I expected to be the remainder!"
"Oh cut the theatrics!" said Crazy Quilt. "Just give the mission already!"
Mr. Nobody, however was a bit more enthusiastic. "So, whatsit gonna be today? Make Gattito the most popular brand in the Mexican Dog restroom? Collect a hundred boar heads? Win an interpretive dance contest?"
Crazy Quilt glared at his partner for a moment, before snatching the sombrero away.
The man on the junk pile pulled out his cell-phone, held it upside-down, and took a photograph of the two. "Hold your hypotenuse, It's coming riiiiight up…"
Seconds later, the pair's phones began to ring. Crazy Quilt took out his own, and looked at the message. It was an upside-down picture of them, with accompanied by the caption "P * GM = C^-1, where C is the concert, and P is you morons."
Crazy Quilt ground his teeth. The GM was always keen on these kinds of riddles. He remembered going into art to get away from this sort of crap, back when he was just Paul Dekker, the no-name art student with a chip on his shoulder.
"I know what the answer iiiiiiiis!" Mr. Nobody said in a sing-song tone.
"Well what is it, then?"
"I'm not telling until you give me the sombrero back. In song."
"No! This is preposterous! I refuse!"
"Well then, I guess we'll just be standing here until we get Erased."
It took all of Paul's willpower to avoid strangling his partner. "Okay, Mr. Nobody, you can have your sombrero baaaack…" he warbled.
"Much obliged, my good sir." Mr. Nobody put the hat back on his head, and adjusted it with smug satisfaction. A few seconds later, he then pulled it back off and stuck it over Crazy Quilt's helmet. "You know what I changed my mind, I don't want it anymore. It looks better on you anyway."
The lights on Crazy Quilt's helmet began to blink. Mr. Nobody ducked just in time to avoid the blinding beam of light projected from his partners forehead, disintegrating the ludicrous headpiece in the process.
"Ha! This is better than teaching Calculus!" the GM said.
"Now as I was saying…" Mr. Nobody continued. "P times GM mean the players and the GM. And C to the power of negative means the inverse of C. So he wants us to go to a concert, and help him turn it into whatever the opposite of a concert is."
Crazy Quilt shook his head, and turned to the GM. "And how do you expect us to do that?"
The GM continued to smile. "I thought you radians would never ask..."
Shulk glanced up from his clipboard. "[You're doing great, guys. Just a little more to the left.]"
"Whose... left?" Dr. Summers wheezed, his knees shaking under the weight of the server tower he and Shirou were carrying.
"...my left. Okay, now just set it down gently…" Shirou said.
Dr. Summers jerked as he lowered his end of the rectangular device to the floor. He yelped as he accidently dropped it on his fingers, sending the machine toppling towards Shirou. Thinking quickly, Shirou braced himself against the computer to keep it from falling any further, and then pushed it back into an upright position.
"Nice catch, Emiya." said Shulk. "Now we just need to bring in the thaumic modulator and we'll can get started on moving Nina's stuff."
Dr. Summers gasped for breath. "I don't… know about… you… but I'm feeling… kind of winded…" he slumped against the side of a bizarre machine that looked like a cross between an Aztec pyramid and a stainless-steel mushroom. "I don't suppose we could ask the woman with super-strength for help?"
"Her stuff's set up already; Shirou got that done before you arrived. She wanted to get it out of the way early since she was planning to have breakfast with her sister..."
Shirou didn't seem to be paying attention, however, as he was too busy gazing at the array of oddities that surrounded him. Flasks and empty test tubes gleaming in their racks sat next to clay jars full of colored powders, while modern computer consoles sat next to shelves of ancient books with tattered, yellowing paper. After about a minutes of looking around, he asked "...what's this all for, anyway?"
"You would need a degree in both Magecraft and particle physics for me to even begin to explain." Shulk said. "As a non-Magus working for the Association, I'm in a unique position where I can only stay competitive if I augment my knowledge of magic with advanced technology."
"Why's that so unique?" said Shirou.
"...well, it's like this." Once again, Shulk struggled to put his thoughts into simpler terms. "Most Magi have sort of a taboo against technology. It's not that magic causes computers to explode or anything, But the way they see it something is only 'magic' if you can't do it with technology."
Shirou nodded gently.
"Of course, given that magecraft itself is a human-made invention at least partially based on mundane science, as well as the fact that extraterrestrial technology has been shown to be eons ahead of magecraft in some areas, a minority in the association believe that this notion of technology being the antithesis of magecraft is flawed at a fundamental level and that we would all be much further ahead if we just…" Shulk paused as he found himself staring at Shirou's listless expression.
"...you lost me." said Shirou.
"Right, sorry. Rambling again." Shulk shook his head. "The point is that the association has a taboo against technology for complicated political reasons. Some find a way around the ban by inventing spells with very specific purposes, but most of the time they rely on people like me to handle that kind of thing."
"Ah. I got it." said Shirou, though Shulk wasn't quite sure if he actually did.
"Now, as I was saying; before we start moving the Sakuradite reactor, there's some protocols we need to review. Now I'm sure Miss Einstein did a fine job fixing it, we have to make sure we know what to do in case there's a-"
Shulk found himself standing in a small amusement park. It was late at night, and he was surrounded at all side by unlit booths, depowered roller coasters, and other closed attractions. But in spite of everything that surrounded him, for some reason his attention was transfixed on a lone ferris wheel at the center of the park.
The ferris wheel… Shulk recognized that wheel... it's the one from the amusement park at the Tokyo Dome, wasn't it?
So why was he staring at it? What was so important about the ferris wheel? But maybe it wasn't the wheel he was supposed to be looking at. Maybe it was something he just couldn't see. It sounded like he was saying something but...
Suddenly, there was a noise. It sounded like a small jet engine rocketing overhead. But Shulk didn't turn away, in fact he somehow felt much more desperate than ever to look in that direction.
But when ground shook and the jet engine stopped, it was then that Shulk turned around to find himself face-to-face with a creature straight out of his nightmares.
It was an enormous, charcoal-colored mechon in a vaguely-humanoid shape. It looked both hulking and slender, with a thin, almost anemic torso connecting to hulking limbs via spindly, golden joints. Its arms ended in gilded claws that were at the very most a passable simulacrum of human hands, and a tall upward-facing turret protruded out of its back, along with a pair of golden "wings" that looked stiff and unyielding. And then there was the face; a stark, white skull with an elongated chin, glowing red eyes, and a mouth with blunted teeth that had been stitched shut by blood-red cables.
But the worst part was when it opened it's mouth. Shulk had never heard of a Mechon speaking before, but it wasn't quite like he imagined. It's jaw quivered ever so slightly, as a gruff, almost human voice poured out. He couldn't make out the words, but they sounded… angry.
Yes, that was it. It was angry. Which was just fine, because Shulk was angry, too. He knew that mechon by heart, because it had haunted his dreams ever since the night it killed Fiora.
Back then he was only able to drive it away, and he had some help with that. But now Shulk had mastered the Monado. Now he was the master of his own fate. Now, perhaps, he could put an end to this madness, and finally avenge everyone who lost their lives to that-
The Monado bounced off the mechon like was nothing. The Mechon snatched Shulk in its claws, cutting deep into Shulk's flesh as it did so. It then held Shulk upside-down by the leg, and pulled the Monado away from his hands as it unleashed a horrible, inhuman laugh that echoed through the park. And then it-
"[Shulk! Are you okay? Say something!]" Shulk awoke from his vision to find Shirou vigorously shaking him.
"[Emiya, calm down!]" Dr. Summers pulled Shirou away "[The only thing that's going to accomplish is giving him whiplash.]" he then pointed at Shulk. "[See? He's already coming to.]"
Shulk shook his head. His visions were never calming, but this was the most traumatic one yet. "[Yes, don't worry… it was just another vision.]" he then looked at his watch. It was still early in the morning. "Shirou, is there anything happening at the Tokyo Dome tonight?"
Shirou scratched his head. "I… think there's a concert, but I wasn't really paying attention. I could look it up for you…"
"You do that." Shulk pulled out his phone. "Something's going to happen at the Tokyo Dome tonight, and we need the entire Justice Society ready for when it goes down."
"Right!" lacking a modern smartphone Shirou ran off to find a computer terminal.
Meanwhile, Dr. Summer coughed. "[…should I be doing something?]" he asked.
"[Do you know how to fight invincible robots?]"
"[No.]"
"[Can you pilot a mech with any degree of precision?]"
"[I… don't think so.]"
"[Do you have a cellular?]"
Dr. Summers pulled an outdated iPhone out of his pocket.
Shulk started to dial a number on his phone. "[Call Sayaka and ask Kyubey to set up a telepathic link with me. The sooner we can get the team together, the better.]" Shulk then flicked through his list of contacts, until he found Simon's number. He then held his thumb down on the screen, and anxiously waited for the chairman to pick up...
"Oh the horror!" said Wild Tiger as he rode atop the world's largest pig in a cowboy hat. "My partner turned out to be a cyborg robot from the future!"
"YAAR!" said Barnaby Brooks Jr. "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, walk the plank or give me a sub!"
"Never!" said General Big McLargeHuge. "Next to the President, sub sandwiches are the most important thing in America!"
"Adotele dato~!" said Super Mario.
"Don't worry!" said Hope. "I know exactly what to do!" she reached into her safe and pulled out a trombone, and began to play Beethoven's fifth symphony on it. Somehow, it ended up sounding like it was being played on a harmonica.
Barnaby then shouted. "NOOOO MY ONLY WEAKNESS!" before exploding into a pile of confetti.
Everyone present began to applaud. The king then approached Hope and said "Mah boi! As the king of Batman City, I hereby award you the world's largest marshmallow." A giant robot then teleported in, carrying said marshmallow in on a giant plate.
"I'm so hungry I could eat an octorok!" Hope then pounced on the marshmallow, and began to dig in. But to her despair, she found she was having trouble chewing it. So she pulled and tugged, and bit, but no matter what she did, the marshmallow would not stay in her mouth, until finally...
...Hope woke up with the corner of her pillow stuffed in her mouth. "Not again..." she murmured before spitting it out.
But in spite of the ending it was still the most exciting dream she had in awhile. In fact, the reason she didn't go right back to sleep was because of something even more exciting; her first day as a real-life superhero. There was nothing she found more thrilling than the idea of going out on the streets to fight bad guys, except possibly going out on the streets to fight bad guys as Wild Tiger's sidekick.
"And all I need to do is play along with my backstory and act like a heartwarming orphan!" she thought. "Piece of cake!"
Hope looked at her watch. "Let's see… it's 5 PM back home, so that means it's… uh…" she looked around the room for a clock, a cable box, a microwave, or anything that could tell her what time it was. But the room was so dark that the only thing she could see was a faint sliver of light coming through the shrouded window on the opposite side of the room.
Taking care not to step on her roommate, Hope crawled over the futon and peaked her head behind the shade to see if looking outside would give her any insight. Through it, she saw a street lined with modest-looking apartments, windows glistening as the sun rose over the city.
Impatient as ever, Hope dashed back over to the futon where Ino was still asleep, and began to vigorously shake her awake. "[C'mon, sis!]" she shouted. "[It's already morning! You don't wanna sleep the day away, do ya?]"
Ino gasped as she startled awake, before shoving Hope backwards into a nearby wall. She then crawled backwards until she was off the futon, and began to hyperventilate as she scoped out the unfamiliar room.
"[Oh, right. You've probably forgotten, haven't you?]" Hope reached for the nearby lightswitch and illuminated the room. It was a traditional, Japanese living room that had been converted into a makeshift bedroom. There was a tatami floor and what appeared to be paper screens on all sides, though upon further inspection these turned out to be panels that rested upon more modern, concrete walling. The illusion of tradition was also somewhat ruined by the tastes of its occupants: Simon had a shelf full of gaming consoles in one corner of the room next to a TV and handful of beanbag chairs that were stacked on top of each other to make room for the futon, while Nia had a desk with a mac workstation seated next to a large number of books dedicated to both her profession, and her numerous hobbies on the opposite side of the room. Hope had a sneaking suspicion that Confucius would be rolling in his grave if he saw all this bad feng shui.
Ino, meanwhile, was now staring at the notecard Simon had taped to her wrist. She then looked up at Hope, and pointed at her. "[Hon'...kale? Is that right?]"
"[Uh-huh!]" Hope nodded. "[I'm your new sister!]"
Ino scratched her head. "[...funny. It didn't say anything about you being my sister…]"
"[Ah, well. I guess he left out a few details."] Hope bluffed. "[I'm gonna wake up Simon, and see if I can get him to make us breakfast!]"
"Your name is Ino Atom Nix.
You have anterograde amnesia, so you have trouble making new memories.
You are currently living with Simon Doriru and Dr. Nia Teppelin.
Simon is the man with blue hair. Nia is a woman who also has blue hair, but it's very long and she has flower-shaped pupils.
Also living with us is Hon'kale, a girl from another dimension. She has charcoal skin, pointy ears and white hair.
If you ever get lost, call the following number on your cell phone..."
No matter how many time Ino read the words taped to her arm, it always seemed like there was something that she had forgotten. It was especially bad when she had to pause mid-conversation to look something up, just because she forgot the name of the person she was talking to. Making matters worse was the fact Hon'kale kept throwing her off by referring to Ino as her "sister", even though there was nothing on the card to indicate that.
For now though, she was content with listening to Hope and Simon's conversation about something they had apparently seen on TV.
"[And then what happened?]" said Simon. "[I can't imagine Wild Tiger got out of that one okay...]"
"[Oh but that was the best part.]" Hon'kale trembled in delight. "[Ya see he's got this thing "Hundred Power" that lets him do really awesome stuff, but he has to save it up because he can only use it for five minutes at a time.]" she then began making a series of complicated hand gestures that supposedly mirrored her hero's movements. "[So he used it to do this cool triple-backflip off a flagpole, and then he grabbed Killer Moth by the ankles and said… something. I forget what, but it was pretty cool. And Killer Moth couldn't carry him, so they crashed straight through the frozen lake."]
"[Yikes! That must have been chilly!]"
"[I know, right? But a few minutes later he came climbing out of the lake with Killer Moth on his shoulder, near-dead from hypothermia.]"
"[Heh. It takes real guts to save your enemy like that.]" Simon grinned. "[No wonder you want to be a superhero, if a guy like that's your idol.]" He leaned back in his chair and looked over at Nia, who was busy cooking up a delicious-looking breakfast on a chrome-plated stovetop. "[Hey Nia, have we met this guy before?]"
"[I don't think so,]" she replied, "[...but I have met Mr. Maverick. Maybe I could ask him to introduce us sometime?]"
Having finished her cooking, Nia carried a tray stacked with a pile of golden-brown flapjacks over to the counter where the others were sitting. Hon'kale began to drool as Nia lifted one with a pair of tongs, and plopped one right onto her plate. She did the same thing with Simon and Ino, before finally pulling up a stool to serve herself.
Ino watched the others. Simon dug into his food without hesitation, cutting it into bite-sized chunks before carefully lifting the bite into his mouth. Hon'kale, meanwhile, was taking her time to drizzle genuine imitation maple syrup onto her own pancakes.
Ino followed Simon's example and mimicked his motions, cutting the pancake on her own plate into bite-sized chunks, and similarly lifting them to her mouth very carefully...
"[Oh, I almost forgot,]" Nia said. "[We were out of baking powder, so I just used some extra salt. Is that okay?]"
"[Oh yeah,]" said Simon. "[They're great, just like always!]"
Ino spit out her half-chewed bite of pancake. Despite having no basis for comparison, she was almost certain that this was the worst thing she had ever tasted. It was like biting into the contents of a garbage disposal, with just a hint of spoiled milk and rancid pork.
Nia and Simon looked somewhat worried. "[Are you okay?]" said Nia.
"Uhhhh…" Ino searched for the words to adequately describe just how revolting Nia's cooking was without hurting her feelings. Eventually, she settled on "It's… not very good."
This led to Simon and Nia beginning to discuss possible reasons for Ino's peculiar tastes, with Nia suggesting that her taste buds are arranged differently somehow. But given the fact that when Hon'kale took a bite her face froze for a good three seconds before she drowned the chunk of pancake with an entire glass of orange juice, Ino suspected that she wasn't one who thought poorly of Nia's cooking.
Before things became any more awkward, the kitchen phone began to ring.
"...Teppelin residence, Simon speaking." Simon said into the receiver. There was a short pause as the person on the other end began to speak. "...woah, calm down Shulk. What's up with the what now?" Simon furrowed his brow as he continued to listen. "Well, no worries; that sounds pretty lax as far as time limits go. We'll be there as soon as possible." He then hung up the phone, turned to Nia, and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Sorry to eat and run, honey, but we've got work to do. Shulk says a bunch of robots are going to attack the Tokyo Dome tonight..."
"Well, it sounds like nothing you can't handle." Nia replied. "I'm working late tonight anyway, so feel free to order a pizza when you get back."
Ino sighed with relief upon hearing that last bit.
Hon'kale, on the other hand looked back and forth between the couple in incomprehension. "[Whatcha guys talkin' about?]"
"[Hero stuff. Apparently our first day just got interesting!]" Simon grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair, and slipped it on. "[So, do you want to do a bit of sightseeing on our way to work, or do you wanna take The Cannon?]"
Ino "[...what's "The Cannon"?]"
"[I had no idea the divorce was that complicated, Mister Dayton.]" said the young, overly-perfumed woman sitting across the table. "[I imagine it must have been hard on your son…]"
"[Ah, well. Garfield's a strong boy.]" Steven Dayton, fifth-richest man in the world, looked into his wine glass with a heavy heart. "[...and to tell the truth, we've been drifting apart for years anyway. He's off on his own now…]"
Steve looked back up at Lyra, the woman that invited him to the charity brunch he was attending. She was an obvious social climber, and likely a gold digger to boot. After all, nobody ever calls him "Mister" unless they were either employed by him or they wanted something.
Lyra was twirled her finger around the rim of her glass. "But you know… it has been a few years. Perhaps it's time to start looking for someone new?"
Yep. Definitely a gold digger. No wonder she seemed so guarded. Steve almost wished he could read her mind, but that never turned out well.
Still, getting rid of her would be an easy task. All he'd need to do is act uninterested an occasionally ask awkward questions about her personal habits (such as all the perfume she wore. Steve swore he could smell it from halfway across the room). With any luck, she'd give up and go off to shmooze with someone a bit more receptive to her feminine charms.
Just then, there was deafening noise as a giant robot head parachuted through the skylight, before getting caught on the enormous ice sculpture. There were to be three people sitting in it: a blue-haired man, a child with charcoal-colored skin, pointed ears and white hair, and a teenage girl in a black, hooded jacket.
"[...and that's what happens when our timing is just a little bit off,]" said the man.
"[Got it!]" said the kid.
The teenager just looked down at the ground below, biting her lip all the while.
Steve thought he recognized the blue-haired man from the news somewhere. But Steve had made an effort to ignore most of the pieces on superheroes ever since he broke up with Rita, so he wasn't quite sure.
Lyra, on the other hand, seemed to know exactly who these people were, judging by the horrified expression on her face.
"[Hey, it's Lyra!]" the blue-haired man pointed at Steve's date. "[She's one of Nia's friends! Let's wave to her!]"
The teenager silently gave them a soft wave.
The kid, on the other hand, swung both hands in the air as if her voice somehow wasn't loud enough. "[HIIIIIIII LYRA!]" said the kid, "[HOW'S IT GOING? YOU ON A DATE? HE LOOKS NICE!]"
Lyra's face turned red as the entire hall turned their eyes towards her. Her face red with embarrassment, she wordlessly excused herself from the room.
"[...maybe that wasn't her?]" said the teenager.
"...yeah. Maybe." the blue-haired man pulled at his collar as if he was aware that he had just done something stupid, but he didn't know what it was. He then looked back up at the broken skylight. "[You know, I think this might be a good time to teach you two a little something about repairing collateral damage…]"
"Okay, let's get down to business." Milly circled the table, handing out sheets of paper as she did so. "We're going to need need to rejigger our schedules a bit now that we're working with the JSJ. Sadly, this will mean that some of us will have to cancel our after-school activities, but I think we can all agree that this is more important in the long run..."
Milly's voice faded into the background as Kallen pretended to skim the document in front of her. As she did so, Kallen wore a glazed-over expression, her hair combed down from it's normal position into something slightly more formal, and her posture ever-so-slightly altered to look as if she was having trouble sitting upright.
Normally, this look was an act meant to keep people from prying into her personal life: Reputation was everything in an institution like Ashford Academy, and while the student council members were a pretty understanding bunch, she doubted that many of the other students would have sympathy for a mixed-race bastard like herself. Even with Shirley they had to go to extreme lengths to try to keep her new powers a secret, even going so far as to convince Milly's grandfather to repeal the rule about wearing hats during class in order to hide her "antenna" (or "robot ears", as Rivalz liked to call them).
Today, however, there was some truth to her projected demeanor; as oxymoronic as it sounded, trying to get her daily routine with the addition super-strength had exhausted Kallen. Originally she worried that she would have to walk on eggshells to avoid killing someone by bumping into them, and came up with a complicated route to minimize contact with other people on her way to class. But it was actually the little things, like opening a backpack without tearing it apart, that Kallen found herself tormented by. She was at least grateful that she hadn't developed super-hearing (yet), else Kallen feared she would have to endure people calling her a klutz behind her back.
But things got weird during Calculus. She at her desk waiting for class to begin, when an animated marionette walked into the room. It was wearing a pair of glasses, a crudely-painted face that moved erratically, and a brown wig tied into a ponytail. At first, Kallen didn't know what to do. No one else seemed to have noticed it; it even took a seat right in front of someone without even noticing. It wasn't until it raised it's hand during attendance that Kallen realized what everyone else was seeing. Somehow, the entire room seem convinced that the puppet sitting in the chair was actually Rosaline Potter, a 3rd-year student Kallen had seen many times before.
"Or maybe that really was Rose…" Kallen pondered as she thought back to the incident. "The guy with the padlocks did say that I would 'see things as they truly were'." she glanced up for a moment, before looking back at her paper. "Or maybe someone is just trying to psych me out. Ugh, I hate mind games..."
Needless to say, Kallen had planned on bringing this up at the council meeting. The problem was, Milly had also changed. Drastically. From her seat, Kallen could see that Milly's hair and skin were now both a startling ivory white, her ears were long and pointy, and her baby-blue eyes had been replaced by shiny black orbs that betrayed no hint as to what direction they were looking.
Like Rose, no one brought up Milly's sudden change in appearance. Nobody commented on it, or said "Hey, Kallen; Milly's lookin' kinda weird today, doncha' think?". And while it wasn't unheard of for her to go out in costume, normally she would force the rest of the council to dress up for the occasion as well. Rivalz at the very least would have tried to join in, given how he was weekend gamer and Milly looked like something straight out of a D&D book.
But unlike Rose, Milly seem to be cognizant of this fact. A slight twitch in the eye, a short pause between her sentences… it didn't take a genius to see that Milly wasn't comfortable in her own skin, in sharp contrast to how she usually acted.
It didn't take a genius to notice the connection. But Kallen figured it was best to play it safe, so she pulled out her cell phone and (carefully) tapped out a message to her boss;
"smthg weird is going on some people look strange and im the only one who can see it please reply"
She then turned towards Lelouch. He was typing something on his laptop, no doubt pretending to take notes while playing DOTA or something. She couldn't believe she ever suspected that irresponsible half-wit of being Zero, even if he does vanish for inordinate periods of time. Sure he's got brains, but given that his best plan so far has been "when Deathstroke finds me, run away and hope nobody gets killed", she seriously doubted he had what it took to lead a group like the Black Knights.
As Milly continued to blather about schedules and budgets, Lelouch was busy enjoying a game of DOTA.
Or at least that's what he appeared to be doing. In reality, the game was an elaborate U.I. that allowed Lelouch to manage the Black Knights' operations remotely, even while he and his computer were plain sight. Every unit on the battlefield represented some aspect that Zero was focusing on, and every chat message was a coded transmission from an agent, whose meaning was hidden in an intricate pattern of typos and juvenile insults.
Yes, it was an odd way of doing things, but Zero didn't pay "Radical Edward" ten million dollars to come up with a mundane solution. He wanted something that no right-minded person would ever suspect, and no wrong-minded person would ever be able to crack.
The fact that Lelouch was also a champion-level DOTA player in his own right only added to the illusion. Sometimes he wished he had a bit more time to go to tournaments, but the Black Knights (as well as the Student Council, and now the new Justice Society) were too important for such frivolities.
Just as Rivalz was leaning over his shoulder, Lelouch got a message from his teammate that accused his mother of fornicating with a nymphomaniac hamster. Lelouch recognized it instantly as a message from Kallen. She was apparently concerned that Milly Ashford has been replaced by an imposter, but that only she could see it.
Lelouch glanced up from his computer to ask an innocent question: "Uh, Milly! That just reminded me; with all the budget cuts, will we still be having a Golden Week celebration this year?"
"Ah... I was just getting to that." Milly replied with a soft smile. "Now the student population is only about thirty percent Japanese, so we won't be having our own celebration per-se. However, Ouran Academy has expressed an interest in holding their annual celebration on our campus…"
Lelouch watched Milly's body language as she expounded on her plans for the summer ice-sculpting contest. "[Kallen's right. It does look like she's hiding something…]" Lelouch thought as he went back to his "game". "[And unless Kallen's having some very specific hallucinations, I doubt this is all a big coincidence…]"
Fingers flying on the keyboard, Lelouch sent back a coded message of his own.
"Follow her." the message from Zero read. "See if she's up to anything, but don't approach until I give the O.K."
"'Hold back and wait for my signal'." Kallen thought. "Just another sign that something's up. Glad he's taking this seriously, at least."
Just then, there was a follow-up message. "Also, try searching through some old photos of Milly to see how far back the effect persists. Then we can start searching for the cause, assuming it isn't on your end."
"Aaaand there goes his vote of confidence." Kallen shook her head, and loaded up the Facebook app on her phone. "He probably thinks it's just a mind virus. Hell, for all I know it probably is..." she flicked through the cavalcade of Milly's photos, each and every one of them showing the same change in appearance that Milly now displayed.
"God, I hope I'm not crazy."
...suddenly, a synthesized melody filled the air as Shirley's phone began to ring. "Hello?" Shirley said. Then she went silent for about a minute. "Uh… well… school technically doesn't end for a couple more hours… oh, no rush? Okay, sure. We'll be there. See you in a few."
She then put the phone down. "...that was Shulk. Apparently I've got my first mission. It's something about evil robots, I think?"
"Were they the same ones that gave you super powers?" Rivalz asked.
"Uh… maybe?"
"COOL! Can I come!? Please! PLEEEEASE!"
"We're the support team, Rivalz." reminded Lelouch. "We don't go on missions. Our job is to stay at the HQ and make sure their mission goes according to plan."
"...do we at least get cool headsets?"
"I specifically ordered some with you in mind."
"YESSSSSSS!" Rivalz threw his fist in the air in a victory pose.
"Well I… I'm going to sit out of this one." Milly said, the smile slowly dropping from her face. "I just don't feel so good..."
"But It's not your fault, Milly!" Shirley said. "We told you; nobody could have seen Deathstroke coming!"
"...no no… it's not that." Milly's face drooped further. "...I feel kind of ill, is all. Just need a bit of time to lie down."
"Yeah." Kallen spoke up. "I'm not feeling so hot myself. Maybe there's a bug going around..."
"Did you see the nurse?" Nina said quietly. "If it's that bad…"
"Oh don't worry so much!" Milly suddenly brightened up, though Kallen noted some hesitation in her voice. "I'm just getting over a… cold! Just give me a few days and I'll be back to my old self!"
"Allright, if you say so." Lelouch closed his laptop. "Anyway, I have to get going; there's an English test in a few minutes I don't want to lose credit over a technicality."
Kallen looked at her watch. History was next, followed by chemistry. With any luck, she'd meet up with Milly in Home Ec, and Kallen could start stalking her from there.
She gritted her teeth, and grabbed was was left of her backpack. Today was not going to be fun.
The Zenigata Building was one of those places that oozed history. It was built on the site of "The Meeting Place", a pre-war tavern that was frequented by heroes of all stripes up until it burnt down during the bombing of Tokyo. Ever since it was built, the building traded hands between several Japanese superhero teams, including The Yokai Patrol, Big Science Action, The Justice Brigade... even Super Young Team did a tenure at the Zenigata Building up until they got that satellite of theirs.
And each team had left their mark on the building: the Yokai Patrol added a rooftop courtyard decorated with shrines dedicated to forgotten deities, while Big Science Action built an underground garage that doubled as a dojo. The Justice Brigade had built oddly-shaped spires that somehow redirected local ley lines and expanded the sleeping quarters. And finally, Super Young Team demolished the building next door to build a massive indoor pool in the shape of a ringed planet (which at the time was the team's logo) and gave the whole place a fresh coat of paint. With every addition, the Zenigata building began to look less like the drab, grey rectangle it had started out as, and more like a piece of modern art.
Simon was already quite familiar with the place; he and his bro, Kamina, used to sneak into tour groups to get out of the sun on hot summer days. He had fond memories of the time they snuck away from the tour group just to get a better look at the place, even considering the lecture Waveman gave them when they were caught, it was still worth it. Especially given the expression Waveman had on his face when Simon ended up saving the city a couple years later. That was just priceless.
But never once did Simon expect to actually get to work at the Zenigata building. Despite Kamina's hopes, after the Spiral Kingdom was defeated the Dai-Gurren Brigade never amounted to anything more than the occasional get-together. Kittan was the only one left with any kind of piloting skill, and he was needed at the shop more often than not.
Sure, he was invited to a Justice League tryout once, but compared to the guys he had competed against, Simon was pretty lackluster. He was too old to join Super Young Team, not established enough to join Big Science Action… really, Simon was the last person he expected to be invited to any kind of team, let alone be elected chairman.
After all, he'd hardly been the only one fighting back when the Spiral Kingdom invaded Tokyo. Hell, if anything Kamina was the face of the resistance. Really, it's a miracle Simon was able to rally anyone behind him after Kamina's death.
But for all of Simon's nostalgia, Hon'kale was somewhat less impressed by the building. "[I thought it would be bigger.]" she said, sitting on the edge out of the Lagann's cockpit to get a better view.
"[…it looks pretty big to me." said Ino. "What would we need the extra space for?]"
"[Lotsa stuff!]" Hon'kale exclaimed as she tumbled back into the Lagann. "[We could have a hologram room, or an elevator to the center of the earth, or a weapons range, or a dinosaur jungle…]"
"[...what's a dinosaur]?"
"[Big, man-eating lizards with pointy teeth,]." Hon'kale stuck her arms out from her sides to imitate a T-Rex's stubby arms.
"[...why would we want one of those?]" Ino asked.
"[Because they're AWESOME, that's why!]" Hon'kale said. "[Plus, Superman has one.]"
"[I see…]" Ino produced an index from the satchel she was carrying, and wrote something down on it. "[...what does 'awesome' mean?]"
"[Uhhhhh…]" Hon'kale was at a loss for words. "[...do you know what the word 'sweet' means?]"
"[No.]"
"[How about 'cool'?]"
"[...so Dinosaurs are like ice cubes?]"
"[Nevermind. How about… 'mind-blowing'? Do you know what 'mind-blowing' means?]"
At this point, Ino started to become very concerned with Hope's ramblings. "[...does it involve people's heads exploding?]"
"[Well, sometimes it does. Buuuut…]" Hon'kale pointed at the satchel. "[Why don't you just look it up on your phone?]"
Ino reached into her bag. Sure enough, there was light blue smartphone that had once belonged to Nia. "[Good idea…]" she said as she tapped on the screen a few times. About three seconds later, she then held it back up to Hon'kale and said, "[What am I trying to do, again?]"
Given the groans coming from the screen, Simon guessed that she had opened up a game of Plants Vs. Zombies instead. "[I'll show you how to use the phone once I find a place to park,]" Simon said, glancing at his own phone, scratching his head. "[The garage should be somewhere around here…]"
When it wasn't being used by super-teams, the Zenigata building was a museum. And nowhere was this more apparent than the conference room, a circular chamber lined with framed newspapers, photographs and drawings from every era commemorating the teams that inhabited the Zenigata building, celebrating their victories and mourning their losses. Further in was a circle of glass cases, each of which contained an artifact of great sentimental value to one hero or another, from the lodestone than The Red Oni famously carried around for good luck, to a one-of-a-kind "Most Excellent Superbat" Duel Monsters card that Super Young Team received as a reward for rescuing the President of Industrial Illusions from the villainous "Card Shark". And in the dead center of the room, standing atop the circular table, was a golden statue of Ultimon Alpha, the 11th century folk hero whose strange powers and unwavering dedication to justice were said to have inspired the very idea of super-heroism, at least as far as the East was concerned.
It was the most Shulk could do not think about the weight of history on his shoulders. It was a sensation both intoxicating and anxious, like being within mere feet of a great work of art and being transfixed on the "do not touch" sign. Shulk was a foreigner, after all, and centuries of Western guilt were now racing through his mind. Not even his usual rationalizations or his pre-existing knowledge of Japanese culture and history could dismiss the fear that he was coming across as the bossy, privileged, white guy telling everyone else what to do (again, despite all the hardships Shulk had to ensue during his apprenticeship. Atlas was far from the cushiest branch of the Mages Association, and Dickson himself was notoriously strict).
It was especially troubling to Shulk given that Shirley, the vice-chairwoman, was a white American. Again, while Shirley seemed to be a perfectly nice person Shulk worried that her passive nature came across as lazy and uninspired, which (combined with Chairman Simon's own laid-back attitude) would further cement the idea in the public eye that the JSJ was not a meritocratic, bi-partisan force for justice, but rather a transparent token gesture to "prove" that Japan was no longer beholden to western powers.
But then Shulk took a step back, and realized that he was getting wound up over nothing. It's like his friend Reyn used to say whenever they talked about superheroes. "[Yer' thinkin too hard about this, ya knucklehead,]" he had said. "[Hero stuff is easy. Ya 'jus gotta smile for the camera when ya bring in the bad guys and don't talk about politics (unless yer Green Arrow), and ya'd be on easy street 'far as the press' concerned. They always love hearin 'bout bad guys bein' clobbered!]"
With his focus renewed, Shulk tried to ended his presentation on a confident note. "...and… uh... that's the plan." He said. "Any questions?"
A half-dozen hands immediately shot up.
"...any questions that don't involve getting autographs?"
Rivalz lowered his hand.
"Thank you…" Shulk looked around the room. Lighting, Shirley, Sayaka, Shinji and Madoka still had their arms raised, though he guessed that Madoka was just going to ask Sayaka's question for her. He agonized over who to pick first; if he picked Shirley, Shulk feared he'd send the wrong kind of message, but on the other hand she was the vice chairman. And while Farron's analysis was always helpful, Shulk wasn't sure how long he could put off calling on the younger members before they lose interest, perhaps missing out on a valid concern in the process...
He then looked at Shinji. The boy hadn't said anything, even before the meeting began. He was just sitting there, staring at the room's artifacts listlessly, listening to music on a portable device that was so outdated that Shulk didn't even know what it was called. Now would be a perfect opportunity to establish some sort of group chemistry. Taking a plunge, Shulk curled his lips into a soft smile, and said, "Ikari! You had something to say?"
Shinji reeled back a little. Shulk kicked himself for changing moods too quickly; it probably came across as patronizing.
"Yeah…" Shinji's left arm stiffened up for a moment as the room focused its attention on him. "...what team am I on, again?"
"You'll be on Simon's team." Shulk replied in a slightly cooler tone in order calm Shinji down somewhat, but it only seemed to be making things worse. "The two of you will patrol the east wing, while Farron's team patrols the west wing. "
"Oh. Okay…" Shinji said, though Shulk noticed that Shinji lost interest after he stopped talking about Simon. Shulk made a mental note to mention that to Dr. Summers the next time they met. He then pointed to the blue-haired magical girl who was impatiently waiting to be picked next. "Sayaka," he said in a somewhat neutral tone.
"I… kinda, sorta had a date at the concert." she said, clutching her Soul Gem nervously in her left hand. "Is it okay if I sit this one out?"
"Well…" Shulk began, only to be interrupted by Lightning.
"We'll need someone who can direct civilian traffic." she said. "A flashy costume would go a long way in getting that done."
"Uh, yes. What she said," Shulk concurred. "Just be prepared to be pulled out at any moment if we need reinforcements."
Sayaka's face brightened up. "You can count on me!" she said, giving the group a big thumbs up.
"Glad to hear it. Farron; you have something to add?"
"Yeah." Lightning replied. "The police and the hospital are on standby in case things go wrong, though it would help if they had a bit more information than 'hordes of invincible robots that may or may not carry viruses'..."
"Well, It's not like I'm authorized to say much more..." Shulk tried to avoid staring at the inspector's new outfit, but given the lack of anyone else in costume he found it to be inevitable. She was dressed in sort of a purple, knee-length dress, trimmed in gold with a pair of bright yellow triangles outlining her bosom, red sleeves that ended in gloves with the fingers cut out, topped off with a pair of yellow goggles around her neck and an enormous witch's cap, which Lightning had set in front of her.
"Uh… may I ask-" began to say.
"My sister made this." Lightning said in an oft-rehearsed manner. "Serah's a fashion designer, and she likes to make me model for her. Yes, I have asked her to stop, but whenever I do that she either cries until I'm sent down a guilt trip or she just just hides the rest of my clothes."
"I shudder to think what would happen if she met Milly…" said Lelouch.
Lightning shook her head. "Don't even joke about that."
"Right then… that just leaves one last thing on the agenda." Shulk looked right at Shirley. "Now, I probably know what you're going to say. But don't worry, I've taken it into account; we're only patrolling the rim and exterior of the Dome."
"Uh, question?" Rivalz's hand shot up. "What's so important about that?"
Shirley squirmed in her seat. "Well… it's just my dad programmed all the vocaloids. And he owns the company that made them." Shirley gulped. "And… Miku's close enough to the family that… she's practically a sister to me."
Rivalz planted both his hands on the table. "WOAH! Get out outta town!" Rivalz sputtered. "You're telling me that your dad is the CEO of Soundwave Entertainment?"
"...you didn't know that?" said Shirley, somewhat surprised. "He's kind of a big deal in the robotics industry."
"NO!" said Rivalz. "My dad's company makes freakin' aglets for Christs' sake! You know the things on the end of your shoes? How on earth would I know about something like that?"
"Because rich people send their kids to private institutions like Ashford Academy expecting them to network with their peers?" said Lightning.
"Because he's like Bill Gates and Will Magnus rolled into one?" said Sayaka.
"Because he spoke at last year's science fair when your guest speaker couldn't make it?" said Lelouch.
"Okay, fair enough…." Rivalz slumped back down into his chair, and began to stare at the ceiling. "Still, what's the big deal? If she's so close to you that means she can keep a secret, right?"
Shirley fidgeted in her chair. "...I'm worried about losing control." she said. "I mean… I've never used my powers on a sentient robot before. Who knows what could happen?"
"Can't you just… not use your powers?" asked Rivalz.
"It doesn't work like that!" snapped Shirley. "Sometimes technology just… does stuff when I'm not thinking about it!" She looked like she would be sweating if she were still human. "...Traffic signals change instantly to let me pass, roombas crowd around my feet like puppies, even electric toothbrushes in the bathroom turn on when I'm just trying to get a glass of water..."
Shulk noticed that Lightning's somber expression dropped for a brief moment, as if she had suddenly remembered something.
"And, if she recognizes me, I-I could accidentally wipe out her memories in a blind panic." Shirley stammered. "Or worse; w-what if I somehow rewrite her programming so that she's nothing more than a mindless thrall who obeys my every command? Or what if-"
"Relax. As I said, there's no need to fear any accidental exposure." Shulk said, not entirely convinced. "If all goes according to plan, you won't even come within fifty feet of her."
"[Howdy, yall!]" said a young, high-pitched voice. The the entire group turned towards the entrance of the conference room, where Simon, Ino and Hon'kale were now just arriving.
"Sorry we're late!" Simon said. "There was a repair job that took a bit longer than expected." He gave a nervous smile to try to diffuse the situation. "So… you said you already had a plan?"
Shulk shook his head slightly, and glanced down at his papers. "I guess I should start from the beginning…"
Electra Pendragon awoke with a sudden jolt, as a plank of blackened wood came up to meet her face.
Were she a mere human she might have chipped a tooth, but her noble heritage made her much tougher than that. Which wasn't to say it didn't hurt: on the contrary a dull pain coursed through her gums as she spat out a few stray slivers of wood.
It was then that Electra noticed that she had trouble moving her arms. Or her legs, for that matter. The reason for this was quickly apparent; rightly expecting her to escape, her captors had relieved Electra of her armor and weapons, replacing them with heavy iron chains that even now scraped against her skin.
Just as she began to wonder what she was doing here, the floor made a sharp jostle, rolling Electra onto her side and smack-dab into the red-haired girl she had been fighting earlier. The memories quickly came rushing back: her mission, the chase, everything up until those plebeians knocked her out.
"The nerve of those people!" she thought. "I make their job easier by taking out a common enemy, and what do they do? Tie me up and treat me like some kind of animal!" Drumming up a few ounces of willpower, Electra began slithering over the magical girl, using her to try and get some leverage. "Well, at least now I know what the first kingdom dad and I are going to go and crush after I save the world..."
Now that she was sitting upright, Electra was finally able to get a better grasp on her surroundings. She and the red-haired girl were sitting in the back of a horse-drawn wagon built out of a strange sort of wood, trapped inside of a grated cage that covered the top of the wagon. Rather than the subtle shadows and variations of light one came to expect from normal objects, the wood was a pitch black, with stark, white lines providing the rings and notches that one came to expect from wood. The bars of the cage were also pitch black, and instead of having patterns on them they seemed to have a faint white outline that seemed equally thick no matter how close one got to it. And up in front were the enchantress, her pet, and a large man whom upon further inspection appeared to have a rat's snout, and seemed seemed to be driving the whole contraption.
The outside of the cage was a whole different story. They were riding through a town, past a strange series of buildings. Like the wagon she was riding and the cage she was trapped in, the town's primary colors were black and white, the latter of which was reserved almost exclusively for outlines. There splashes of color here and there, mostly on signs and posters. But aside from Electra, the magical girl, and the mongrels in the front seat, there was nary a hue to be found. Electra would have thought she was being driven past a highly detailed chalk-drawing, if not for the occasional figures watching from the sidelines.
As for the buildings themselves …well, calling them "gothic" would be a bit of a cliche, but it was a good starting point. Pseudo-Victorian structures seemed to roll into one another little rhyme or reason, decorated with foreboding archways topped with gargoyles, crooked metal gates, and ominous black spires. Streets turned at unnatural angles, and were lined with obsidian cobblestones that the cart clackered over with willful abandon. Bridges criss-crossed over sections of the city, forming foreboding archways decorated with solemn gargoyles that kept watch on the general populace with their disappointed gazes. And if Electra had cared about such things then she would have noticed some actual gothic architecture, all of which were facsimiles of famous cathedrals, twisted to the point that historians and students of architecture alike would both be crying blasphemy.
And towering above the endless city was The Castle. Electra took one look at it and knew that it didn't need any other name. It was simply "The Castle". And it was a proper castle, one that fully deserved a definite article and superfluous capitalization. It was built on a massive hilltop that to loomed over the horizon, surrounded by concentric rings of walls, each of which seemed to have a small city buried within them. Along the walls were pathways where stoney-faced guards would no doubt opened fire upon the first sign of dissent. And inside in the innermost ring was the keep, a rectangular structure whose corners were marked by cylindrical towers, their shape not unlike that of a rook in chess.
But even these were dwarfed by the central tower, one of those impractically tall spires that could only ever be used for one of three things: astronomy, wizardry, or locking up princesses. Given what Electra remembered her captors saying before she fell unconscious, it was most likely the latter. Though in all fairness she'd probably keep the princess there after she conquered the castle for herself, assuming her father didn't simply have the other princess executed. "We can't have rival royalty vying for the throne, after all." Electra mused.
The window in central tower emitted a radiant light, the only light in the city that dared to shine any brighter than the dim, jerky constructs that approximated as lampposts. As Electra stared at the structure, she noticed that the radiance was not a steady glow, rather, it was pulsing. Slowly at first, but with increasing frequency until the tower looked more like strobe lite. And just when even Electra's finely-tuned eyes couldn't distinguish one frame and the next, the city was swept in a blinding flash.
And then everything changed.
The crude pseudo-Victorian structures were replaced by charming white, sun-drenched buildings with thatched roofs and hardwood beams, with little heart-shaped windows near the attics for the barn owls to roost in. The narrow, jagged, disorderly streets became wide cobblestone boulevards, lined with merchant stands stocked full of all manner of crafts and curiosities. But most importantly of all color suffused the entire scene, and Electra realized how starved for it her eyes had become since she awakened.
But as much as Electra wanted to persist in this magical, fairytale kingdom, the illusion began to fade after only a few brief seconds. The sky went from a cerulean blue to an inky black, while the buildings deformed back into their unnatural shapes with barred windows and unfeeling brickwork. The streets sunk back into shadows, swallowing the merchant stands with them. And once again the world outside Electra's cell was devoid of color, save for the purple streaks in Ebony's hair, and the cherry-red jacket of her associate.
"That's been happening a lot lately, hasn't it?" said Vash. Or possibly Blade, Electra didn't care what the wolf-man called himself as long as it was consistent.
"Yep." said Lady Ebony.
"...Shouldn't we be more worried?"
Ebony glared at Blade. "Haven't you been paying any attention at all? We've got prophecy on our side."
"I don't think The Locksmith cares." said Blade. "It's never stopped 'im before."
"Well fuck the locksmith!" Ebony snapped. "That idiot's going to get what's coming to him; once his precious little princess is snuffed out, he's going to be next!"
Blade paused for a moment. "She's not little."
Ebony gave her partner a blank look. "Wat."
"The Princess. She's not little. I've seen her." he raised his right hand high above his head. "She's like, this big. I think."
"ITS A FUCKING METAPHOR OKAY?!" The rat-faced man nearly lept out of his seat as Ebony began to shriek. "MY FUCKING SATAN DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE EVERYTHING SO LITERAL?!"
"No ma'am."
"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!"
"Yes 'mam."
"DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE STUPID THINGS TO SAY?!"
"...is that a rhetorical question?"
"YES. No. Maybe." Ebony began exhaling deeply as she tried to collect herself. "...do you?"
"Well, uh…" Blade scratched the back of his neck. "...shouldn't we at least be going after the Locksmith's agent?"
"It wasn't that important. If you read the intel, then you'd know that she's just on a mission to kill her Fetch."
"...yeah, but-"
"NO BUTS!" raised her hand in front of Blade's face. "Tell me again, who's in charge here?"
"...you are, ma'am."
"And WHO is it that am I going to murder, chop into little pieces and bake into a pie if they fail to obey my every order?"
"...me, ma'am."
"SO unless it's REALLY IMPORTANT, I want you to SHUT THE FUCK UP! Do I make myself clear?!"
"...crystal, ma'am."
With that out of the way, Ebony resumed focusing on the road ahead, arms crossed and hunched over, grumbling something about incompetent minions. The rat-faced man looked at Ebony for a moment, and got a stern glare that said "what are you looking at?" before he went back to steering the cart.
Electra, having seen more that she cared to, figured that now was the perfect time to make her escape. She scoped out a building with an open door, the entrance to a tavern of some sort where a crowd of strangers would no doubt be wordlessly drowning their sorrows with cheap ale. Naturally, this would make the perfect escape route, as the confused patrons would probably buy Electra a little time even if her pursuers literally tore through them. All she had to do was call upon her superhuman strength to break through these chains…
...but just as it seems like she was making some headway, a slight tingling sensation ran through her skin. She looked down at them, and noticed that they no longer had the rusty coating of aged iron, but rather the shiny gloss of magically-reinforced platinum.
"Not again…" Electra thought. "...if only these cretins were dignified enough to let me keep my armor. Maybe then I could turn this blasted power off, and break through these chains like they were nothing!" She struggled against her bindings a little more as she tried to get her arms into a comfortable position. "Perhaps I can work my way through this…" she thought. "...it's my Noble Phantasm, after all. Why should I not be able to command this power with greater precision?"
Electra looked at the chains. She then closed her eyes and began to moderate her breathing. "I am in control of this power." she thought. "I am it's master, not it's slave. It springs from my legacy, of what I have done, and my destiny, of what I have yet to do. It would be nothing without me, a unique existence from which my power spawned. It exists only to serve me, and serve me it shall. When I next open my eyes, my power will have retracted, and the chains that even now bind me will have withered away..."
She opened her eyes and looked again. The chains were now diamond.
"GAAAAH! WHY WON'T THIS STUPID THING COME OFF?!" Electra threw herself onto the floor of the cart, and began to thrash about in a vain attempt to break free of her bonds, occasionally smacking straight into the red-haired girl as she did so. She grew so desperate that she crawled up to one of the bars, and tried to tear it apart using only her teeth.
Hearing the ruckus going on behind him, Blade leaned back in his seat and turned around to face Electra. He then turned back to face Ebony. "'Ma'am?"
"WHAT NOW?!" Ebony yelled.
"One of the prisoners is trying to escape."
"Oh." Ebony looked slightly embarrassed. "Thank you for reminding me." Ebony glanced backward, and pointed her wand at Electra before blasting her with another Stupify curse.
And so Electra Pendragon, daughter of the greatest heroes who ever lived, fell limp once more as she began the long, slow march into unconsciousness.
BETHANY SNOW: And welcome back to Channel 52!
AMBUSH BUG: Tune in, or the world is doomed!
BETHANY SNOW: Our top story tonight; Uwe Wood, Writer, Director, Executive Producer, and lead actor of Lawyers and Orderlies: Sensational Victims Unit is being sued for copyright infringement. The lawsuit claims that Wood had stolen concepts, characters, and even dialogue to produce a "vastly inferior copy" of NBC's similarly-titled, Emmy award winning show; Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. When contacted, Wood refused all questioning and instead challenged our field reporter to a boxing match.
AMBUSH BUG: Which I won, by the way!
BETHANY SNOW: Attention has also been brought to Wood's other project; Fracturing Villainously, in which a bald school-teacher turns to cooking meth in order to pay for his cancer operation. More on that as it develops. And now here's Joseph Coyne with the latest news from wall street.
JOSEPH COYNE: GENOM's stock plummeted today in light of recent rulings against their line of homicidal androids that went berserk for no reason. The company was subsequently bought out by Gilded Serpent Securities, one of the world's leading Private Security firms. Similarly, the long-suffering Aperture Science corporation was recently bought out by KaibaCorp, who I'm sure will use Aperture Science's world changing discoveries to create even more incredibly over the top ways to play children's cards games. Back to you, toots!
BETHANY SNOW: Um… thank you, Coyne. And now here's Dr. W, with part two of our series on Super Young Team.
THE 11TH DOCTOR: Evening, everyone! I'm here at "Russian Sushi", one of the most "hip" and "happening" places in Ikebukuro. Tonight we're speaking with Big Atomic Lantern Boy, one of the founding members of Super Young Team. As you can see he seems to be enjoying himself, stuffing food down his gullet like there was no tomorrow. So tell me, Lantern Boy; what's it like being on Super Young Team?
BIG ATOMIC LANTERN BOY: Omnomnomnomnomnomnomnom...
THE 11TH DOCTOR: I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that.
BIG ATOMIC LANTERN BOY: Omnomnomnomnomnomnomnom…
THE 11TH DOCTOR: Ah… I see. And what do you think of Superbat?
BIG ATOMIC LANTERN BOY: Omnomnomnomnomnomnomnom…
THE 11TH DOCTOR: ...I'm starting to regret letting you pick the meeting location.
BIG ATOMIC LANTERN BOY: Omnomnomnomnomnomnomnom…
Omake #3: The Justice Substitutes of Japan, Part 1
DR. SUMMERS: Thank you for coming to try out for the Justice Society. Now tell me, what power do you have?
FUBUKI: I have the power to play video games really, really well. But only while upside-down and wearing passion panties.
DR. SUMMERS: That's… very specific.
LELOUCH: Next.
DAN HIBIKI: I am Dan Hibiki, inventor of the world-renowned Saikyo-style of martial arts! Allow me to demonstrate my newest techique: ATOMIC DRAGON KUCKLE DIVER- Oh god leg cramp! Leg cramp! Shit, give me a moment to stretch...
LELOUCH: Next.
T.K. (NOT THE ONE FROM DIGIMON): [I'll make a supersonic man outta you!]
RIVALZ: [Uhhhhhhhhhhh… are you saying you have super-speed?]
T.K.: [Another one bites the dust!]
RIVALZ: [You… eat dust? What?]
LELOUCH: [Do you even know English?]
T.K.: [He's the one that makes ya feel alright!]
LELOUCH: Next.
TEDDY BOMBER: I am the infamous Teddy Bomber! Unless you give into my demands-
RIVALZ: What's with that costume? You're just wearing a T-Shirt and a plastic bear mask.
TEDDY BOMBER: ...look, it was all I could find on such short notice, okay? Now, as I was saying…
LELOUCH: Come back when you either have a better name, or a better costume.
TEDDY BOMBER: But I-
LELOUCH: Next.
COMMANDER BEEF: My name is Commander Beef! My power is that I am at the peak of physical fitness, because I eat a balanced diet with lotsa calcium!
LELOUCH: Yes, I can see that by your very visible paunch.
RIVALZ: Why is your helmet shaped like a fish if your name is "Commander Beef"?
COMMANDER BEEF: Ah! Well, you see; fish are a vital source of calcium, and I-
LELOUCH: Next.
SOME TIME LATER
AT A MAID CAFE OR SOMETHING
FUBUKI: Awwww maaan! I can't believe I didn't make it on the team!
DAN: Well at least you can learn to be better. I, on the other hand, have the opposite problem. I was just so AMAZING that they're afraid that I'll outshine the rest of the team.
T.K.: [Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye!]
DAN: You said it, crazy blindfold guy!
COMMANDER BEEF: Well buck up, kid. It ain't the end of the world or anythin'. Just keep yer eye on the prize, and things'll turn around eventually.
FUBUKI: Yeah…
TEDDY BOMBER: Attention, patrons of this establishment! I have hidden an explosive device somewhere in this-
SUDDENLY A BIG HOLOGRAPHIC SCREEN APPEARS
RIGHT OUTTA NOWHERE
?: GREETINGS, Justice Society!
DAN: *looks around* You mean us?
?: PRECISELY! I am MYSTERIOUR, a mysterious new villain who hates you all for MYSTERIOUS reasons!
COMMANDER BEEF: What, did the old Justice Society run over 'yer puppy or somethin'?
MYSTERIOUR: MAAAAYBE they did. MAAAAYBE they didn't. But what you should know is that I will do something very, VERY mysterious unless you placate me!
TEDDY BOMBER: Now hold on a second, I was in the middle of a-
MYSTERIOUR: You have twenty-four MYSTERIOUS hours to give into my MYSTERIOUS demands!
FUBUKI: What kinda demands?
MYSTERIOUR: My demands... are ALSO A MYSTERY! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
T.K.: [We are the champions, my friend!]
COMMANDER BEEF: T.K.'s right. I think. The only way we're gonna stop this creep is if we work together. I now officially declare the formation of the "Commander Beef Bridage!"
DAN HIBIKI: I think you mean "Dan Hibiki's Howling Commandos".
T.K.: [Dynamite and a Laser Beam!]
COMMANDER BEEF: Allright, fine. Until further notice, we're "The Howling Dynamite Beef Commando Brigade"! Now, Fubuki: You and Dan go search the docks. T.K. and Teddy, you head for the shopping district.
TEDDY BOMBER: Wait, who said I was part of your-
COMMANDER BEEF: Howling Dynamite Beef Commandos, DISMISSED!
TO BE CONTINUED!
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
The Zenigata Building is not named after Koichi Zenigata from Lupin III, but rather his ancestor Heiji Zenigata.
So let's talk about clothing. And I don't mean costumes, I'm talking about the clothing the characters wear in their civilian identities. While I go out of my way to describe a character's outfit if it's pretty unusual, I don't always describe their civilian clothes. So here's what I'd be instructing the art team to draw if this were an anime or an actual comic book:
Simon: Iconic outfit. Whenever he's in public and not at a formal event, he wears his signature post-timeskip jacket over whatever he'd be wearing otherwise, usually a T-Shirt.
Shulk: Rummage Sale Reject. Seems to have a uncanny knack for finding unusual clothing and armor that only looks odd if you take the time to scan him over completely. As a result, he ends up looking like a JRPG character more often than not (which he is, admittedly).
Hope/Honkale: Name-Brand T-Shirts and either jeans or shorts, depending on the weather. Wild Tiger t-shirts are her favorite, but she'll wear anything that has something from a video game or cartoon that she recognizes.
Shirley: Designer clothing. She doesn't go out of her way to wear anything outrageously skimpy, but neither does she have a preference for dressing modestly. She simply dresses how a normal teenage girl with her wealth and social standing would dress.
Sayaka: She dresses pretty normally for a girl her age, though her clothing isn't nearly as expensive as Shirley's. Started to wear a lot more blue after she became a magical girl.
Shinji: Never wears t-shirts with brands on them, because he isn't a particular fan of anything.
Shirou: Yet again, he doesn't have any particularly unusual tastes in clothing, though he probably has a Superman T-Shirt somewhere.
Lightning: Arbitrary. Most of her more outlandish costumes come from Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII, though unlike said game they don't actually grant her any powers. At most, she'll express mild indifference towards what she's wearing, especially when it's shamless fanservice.
Ino: Should never be wearing "girly" clothes, such as skirts or dresses. In formal situations, she'll be wearing a suit and and tie.
Electra: Never wears anything skimpy if she can help it, and always wears gauntlets even if doing so would be impractical for the task at hand.
Milly: She's very proud of her figure, so she'll usually be wearing something that accentuates it in some way by virtue of being tight, revealing or some combination of the two.
Kallen: When not in either her Ashford uniform or her Black Knights uniform, she usually wears something that's loose and easy to move around in.
Also, because I didn't have an Author's Notes section in the last chapter, here's everyone's favorite Superhero, real (at least in-universe) or fictional.
Simon: Green Lantern Guy Gardner
Nia: Her boyfriend, Simon
Hope: Wild Tiger
Ino: Can't remember any of them long enough to decide.
Lightning: She'll never admit it, but Green Lantern John Stewart.
Shulk: Steel
Shirley: Uhhhh… Superman?
Nina: Superman, I guess…
Rivalz: SUPERMAN!
Kallen: Superman Lady Blackhawk
Milly: Guy Shishioh, from GaoGaiGar
Nunnally: Booster Gold
Shirou: Superman
Taiga: Booster Gold Green Lantern Kyle Rayner
Lelouch: Batman, though he thinks Sentinel had a cooler costume.
C.C.: Frankenstein
Detective Ikari: Batman (he would certainly make his job easier)
Detective Maniwa: Batman
Police Chief Sonoda: Anyone other than Most Excellent Superbat
Excel: A three-way tie between Most Excellent Superbat, Whoever the current Flash is, and Ambush Bug
Il Pallazo: V, from V for Vendetta.
Ebony: Scarecrow (Yes I know he's a villain, but don't correct her. Ebony hates being corrected.)
Bladevash: Vash the Stampede
Sayaka: Wonder Woman
Madoka: Superman
Kyubey: If he has one, he's not saying. ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼
Electra: ...you'll find out later. ;)