A Meal of Anger
"Look, Joe," Adam said, "I did NOT steal Cecile away. First, she was never yours. Second, I asked her to dance and it just happened that we got along, that's all." Adam, standing at the sideboard, poured himself another cup of coffee. Arguing with Joe was not his idea of how to start any day but not today in particular-he found that he had a longing to ride to Cecile's; he had no particular excuse to go there except to return her stockings. But considering the intimacy of the item, he felt that it would be better if he just kept the stockings. Besides, he wanted them. Adam felt foolish when he had picked up the stockings that morning and folded them over and over until he had a small packet and tucked them in his top drawer. And he had also thrilled when he touched them as if they were a talisman and had some magical power to make Cecile appear before him if he just knew the correct incantation. "You didn't get enough sleep, boy," he told himself and gave a small laugh. Then he had gone down to breakfast.
Adam sat back down at the breakfast table and leaning on one elbow, sipped his coffee. Ben looked up from under his knitted brows to see how Joe would react to Adam's comments.
"Yeah, but I saw you take her out the back way." Joe glowered at Adam. Joe knew that Adam wasn't necessarily better looking than he and even at Joe's youthful twenty years, he had quite a bit of experience with woman, maybe even more than Adam had when he was his age, so the idea that Cecile Turpin would prefer Adam to him made him boil inside. Joe knew that when it came down to it, Adam would probably win in any contest but did he have to win at this one too?
"She said she was overly warm and asked to be taken outside. We went out back, talked a while and then went back inside and danced. That's it. That's all. I don't know what you think happened but what really did happen is pretty tame. You have a wild imagination, boy-don't let it run away with you."
Hoss and Ben were carefully watching and listening. It upset Ben to see his sons argue about anything but to be set against one another over a girl was ridiculous as far as Ben was concerned; no female was worth this disharmony. Hoss felt his stomach twist; he wanted peace between them the same as his father did so he was waiting for a chance to make a point, to reconcile his two brothers but Hoss also knew that Adam wasn't easily assuaged and that many things he said were more insidious than they seemed at the time he said them-it was only later, after mulling it over that the full import of his words was understood. And Hoss knew Joe would do that-Joe tended to ruminate and later become angry all over again despite any previous reconciliation having been reached.
"Why don't you just admit it, Adam," Joe said. "After being rejected by so many women, you figured that the only chance you had was with someone who was young and doesn't know any better. Someone who hasn't heard about you and your ways." Joe waited, his muscles tense. He knew that he had hit a soft spot with Adam because Adam froze, his cup at his lips. And then Adam placed his cup carefully on its saucer.
"You just better shut the hell up, boy, or I'll shut that big mouth for you." Adam stood up and leaned toward Joe, his hands on the table. "How'd you like to eat that napkin?"
Ben stood up. Adam had recently been courting Mavis Green but it hadn't gone well. Adam had come close to being married, had asked Mavis who readily accepted but then Adam decided that he didn't feel the depth of emotion needed to be with her for his lifetime and broke it off, regretting it but knowing that it had to be done. The dissolution of their relationship was hard on Mavis; to console herself she spread lies about Adam, said that he had desired her, wanted her before they were married, importuning her to sacrifice her virtue to prove her love for him and so she had to end things. Mavis' confidantes nodded in agreement with her "decision" and sympathized with poor Mavis-a man like that, a man so lustful, would make a bad husband, would put too many demands on his wife. Adam had wondered, once he had thought about it more, if that had been the reason that Mrs. Turpin hadn't wanted Cecile to speak to him, that she had heard Mavis' slanders and believed them.
"That's enough, you two," Ben had said. "I won't have it. It's shameful to have you two at each other's throats over an unimportant girl. Cecile may be pretty but neither of you are in love with her." Adam looked at his father. "You two need to focus on what needs to be done around here, not on which one can win a girl-compete over who can break the most horses, not over who can break the most hearts."
Adam pushed his chair further back and stepped away from the table. "Don't be so sure you know what you're saying, Pa. I don't think Cecile is unimportant. Joe? Yes. Cecile? No." And Adam walked over to the credenza to get his hat to leave for the corral to break horses.
Joe jumped up and started shouting, "Say that to my face, Adam! Don't just say it and walk away!" Joe started after Adam who just turned calmly to face his younger brother but Ben had already grabbed Joe by the arm and was holding him back. Joe was still too young, too much in awe of his father to wrest himself away and to punch Adam's serene face. Joe knew that Adam could easily pound him into the dirt so deep that he might as well have a tombstone at his head but he would enjoy getting a few shots in at Adam. He could almost feel the impact his fist would make on Adam's jaw, the satisfactory sound of knuckles smashing into bone. That would take that sardonic grin off oldest brother's face.
Adam gave a small sound of disdain, then walked out and by then, Hoss was also holding Joe back. "Now, Joe, calm down. You just got hurt pride and it ain't worth mixin' it up with Adam. Just relax, boy. Get your hat and we'll go down to the corral and show Adam how you can set a horse. Besides, it'll give you experience for some of them big-boned sportin' women at Miss Opal's-they can buck you off iffen you don't know to stay on." And at that picture, Joe laughed and felt all the anger and tension leave him. There were other girls, other women and if Adam wanted Cecile, well, Joe would be "gracious" and step aside. But he would have liked to have taken Cecile out on the back porch of the schoolhouse himself and kissed her in the moonlight as he was sure Adam had done. She certainly was pretty and Joe had imagined the taste of her sweet mouth. But there were other girls, Joe thought, and he can could console himself with one of them.