At the Lake
"You were right, Adam. It is beautiful-it's as if we were on the moon." Cecile seemed to dance, she moved so gracefully, between the huge boulders beside the lake and ran her hands over their rounded surfaces that were covered with small pits and irregularities. In some places, the boulders were stacked so high that they formed small mountains.
Adam watched her, smiling at her obvious delight as she moved among the huge rocks, and he felt such overwhelming tenderness toward Cecile that he had to look away. He had no idea why she aroused such feelings in him, this combination of desire and protectiveness, but she did.
Cecile turned to him and smiled. "Adam, may I go wading?"
"If you like, but I have to warn you that the water's cold." He didn't know why Cecile had asked him-she didn't need his permission.
Cecile lightly ran to Adam where he stood by the shore. He had left the Turpin's carriage above the boulder line and they had walked down the declivity to the rocky shore. Cecile leaned against one of the smaller boulders and pulled off her shoes and stockings and Adam watched again, considering how it would feel to run his hands under her short pantaloons and up her legs and to feel the smooth length of her thigh. Would she stop him, he wondered? Perhaps she would slap him and demand he take her home. Maybe she would cry, be offended that Adam thought she would allow such liberties. But Adam was more than certain that Cecile would look at him in that trusting way she had and allow him to run his hands over her if he desired, that she would accept his advances and submit to anything he did. And because he was certain that Cecile would give herself to him, Adam was more determined to remain sexually aloof-he had to protect Cecile from himself.
Adam smiled gently as Cecile gingerly waded in the water up to her ankles as she held up her skirts.
"Well, is it cold?" Adam asked, knowing that it was.
Cecile turned her head. "Freezing."
Adam laughed. "I warned you." He grinned as Cecile waded in further up to her knees.
"Come on, Adam, come in the water," she called to him.
"No, thank you," he said. He watched as Cecile hoisted her skirts higher and he could see the lace at the edge of her pantaloons that ended above her knees start to dip into the water as she went out further. Suddenly Adam became anxious. He threw down the piece of grass he had been twirling in his hands as he leaned against a boulder and walked closer to the water's edge. It gently lapped seductively at his feet as if beckoning him.
Cecile turned to face him. Adam felt a cold fear grip him as he was unsure just what she would do-her face didn't reveal her mind. He envisioned her ducking down into the water and being gone forever or going out even deeper and then swimming out until she disappeared into the dark water. Visions of her drowned body ran through his mind, of his holding her limp and lifeless body in his arms as he carried her out of the lake. But none of that happened; she began to walk back to him and he sighed in relief. "Get a hold of yourself," he whispered to himself.
Finally Cecile was back on the beach, facing him, smiling. "It was too cold to go in deeper," she said, laughing and shivering slightly. And then she stopped and scrutinized his face. "Adam, were you worried about me?"
"Not worried, just concerned-the water's really too cold to go in even to wade. I should have stopped you."
"Stopped me?" Celine looked puzzled.
"I need to get you back home anyway. I promised your parents that I'd have you back for Sunday dinner and it's a long ride and if I don't keep my word, they'll probably forbid you from ever seeing me again." Adam tried to keep it light, to have Cecile think it was just a flip remark but he knew it was true-her parents would be upset and snatch her into the house and tell him to never come back. And he didn't think he could bear to have her pulled from him, taken away and be forbidden.
"I suppose so," Cecile said, "but it's so beautiful here and the lake is…it can't be described." Cecile turned to look back at the lake. "It's frightening in a way-so vast and beautiful. I think too much beauty can kill a person-it becomes unbearable to exist in its presence."
"If that were true," Adam said quietly, "then I would have dropped lifeless at your feet long before this." Cecile turned, looking at him as if in a trance and then reached up to touch his cheek; Adam caught his breath at her tender gesture. Then she touched his mouth, running her fingers lightly across his lips-so lightly that after she took her hand away, he wondered if he had only imagined her touch.
"Your mouth is so beautiful," she said. "So delicate."
Adam felt himself moved and had she been any other woman, he would have bent her over his arm and kissed her but held himself back. Adam was sure that Cecile would have allowed him to indulge his desire for her flesh and so he needed to hold himself in check. So instead of taking her, Adam gently took her hand and kissed the tips of her fingers. Cecile looked at him with curiosity and then softly whispered, "Thank you."
"For what?" Adam asked.
"For bringing me here-for bringing me to the lake."
"You're very welcome. Now, young lady," Adam said, lifting Cecile up to sit on one of the boulders, her knees now level with his chest. "Use my handkerchief to dry your feet-you need to put your stockings and shoes back on." Adam rolled one stocking with his hands the way he did his socks before he put them on, and after Cecile had brushed of the sand and dried her foot, she pointed her toes and Adam slid the stockings over them and over her heel. "The rest is up to you," he said and Cecile laughed. Then she pointed her other foot and Adam lifted her foot up. He saw the gentle, sloping curve of her instep and without thinking, he lifted her foot to his lips and kissed the elegant arch. He felt her react with a slight pulling back; they were both taken by surprise. Then Adam, feeling the heat rise up his neck, slid that stocking on her foot. He stepped back and turned away while Cecile finished rolling the stockings up and then put on her shoes which Adam had set on the boulder beside her.
"I'm decent now. Shall we go? Adam?"
Adam turned back to her; he had composed his face to one of nonchalance. He lifted Cecile down and taking her hand, he helped pull her up the incline back to the carriage and lifted her up to the seat. Cecile tied on her bonnet which she had left in the buggy. He climbed up beside her and took the reins.
"Adam," Cecile asked quietly as they left the lake, "will you bring me here again when it's warmer?"
Adam turned to look at Cecile and as it was each time he saw her, she moved him. "Yes, and I'll show you the petroglyphs on some of the boulders-there are some beside the Truckee River as well. Maybe this coming Sunday after church, I can whisk you away again but I'll come prepared with my own carriage. Why don't you come to dinner next Sunday as well? Would you like that?"
"Oh, Adam, I'd love that." Cecile smiled at him, a joyous smile. Adam thought of how she would light up their table-the four of them with Cecile to delight them. Then Pa won't be so against my seeing her. And they rode on, comfortable in each other's company, Adam would point out something interesting to Cecile as they passed it. And Cecile asked questions about the variety of trees and they even passed a deer with two fauns. The three animals stood frozen and stared at them.
"See," Adam commented. "Even the wild animals are stunned, transfixed by your beauty. Why, I believe that even the sun has stopped moving and is frozen above us so that it can shine down on only us because of you." Cecile laughed and Adam was delighted; he couldn't help but join in her laughter. Cecile stirred his blood and yet, she hadn't behaved in any salacious manner, hadn't even given him a sly look of desire so Adam was unsure how to behave. But he still longed to drown in Cecile's dark, glossy hair and to kiss the length of her milky neck. And he knew that her legs were shapely with exquisite ankles and his imagination filled in the rest. He wanted to hold Cecile next to him, to hear her softly make moans of desire and pleasure and Adam knew that it wouldn't take much persuasion to pull her down in the grass and take her by the lake with the sound of the yearning waves reaching for the land moving in a rhythm to match their own.