Credits to CircusP for composing and subtitling "Lie"

A/N: I had to repost this chapter because I accidently deleted it... whoops!

If I didn't kiss her... none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have these feelings for her, I wouldn't know what love is, and I wouldn't think she was my perfect match... but, I think that's an exaggeration.

I've dated plenty of guys before, and I never thought I loved any of them. Why her? And Gumi, not once did she ever mention a person she liked before all this. Just because I was caught in the moment and wanted to try something... she thinks she loves me, but this love can't be real; it just can't.

I don't understand how she can't feel humiliated every time I reject her. She keeps crying out my name but I never do the same. Maybe it isn't even love, and I think that because if it was love, I wouldn't think that we were already over the moment I kissed her.

Why can't it be perfect
This love's not even real
Why don't I cry for you
Love was dead from the start

"Luka, I'm fine," she says to me, but I'm not sure about that. "It was just an experiment kiss, I know! No need to get your panties in a twist!" She laughed playfully and hit my shoulder.

"But look how much you're blushing," I said almost soundlessly, and then took notice to my own beating heart.

Shoot… if she finds out that I'm like this, I don't know what I'll do.

Maybe this was my first mistake: believing that she didn't know.

In reality, it took a few days for Gumi to confess. It wasn't spontaneous, nor was it romantic. She came up to me one day and looked me square in the face and blurted out those words.

"I love you."

My second mistake was thinking how nice it would've been if she was still naïve and unaware of her feelings, but that's where the word 'mistake' comes in, because she knew the whole time.

The lies you succumb to
Blissfully unaware
I don't know how you can't
See through my façade

"I don't want you", "I don't need you"... the words repeat themselves over and over in my head like a never ending merry-go-round. I know that I really mean the opposite; I just have to convince myself a little more.

And lastly, "I'll forget you" is what I tell myself when I'm lonely, but it doesn't even matter. I know I'll never be able to forget her.

"You know I really love you, right?" Gumi asked me suddenly.

I stared at her with wide-eyes understanding that she really meant it.

"Y-Yeah..."

"And..." her eyes started skittering here and there, and then finally returned to mine, "that I know you're just playing along with me... right?"

I could hear the impression in her words that she wanted those words to be false, but we both knew they weren't.

She laughed weakly, and said under her breath, "I knew it," and then she shook her head, "yet I still love you."

I'll play along as long as it takes to write Our Story. Our… Song might be a better way to put it because a song is defiantly shorter than a story… right? So as soon as this song if finished, I'll break my ties with her. I will move on without her, but I just… it's hard because every time I try to forget her, my heart discards the idea and pulls me back into this unbreakable cage.

"I still don't understand why you're dating Gakupo-kun," Gumi says to me as I come up to her after just being with said person, "we would be perfect together."

"No, you're the only one who sees it like that. I'm happy with Gakupo, really."

I just pray that she doesn't see my wavering heart beneath my cold gaze.

She thinks I don't know who I truly love, but doesn't she see? Inside it feels like my heart is being squeezed, and the blood is filling my entire chest with poison. I can't just say I love her -what would the point of all this be then? I don't want to fall into a hole I can't crawl out of. If I did, I would be imprisoned and left to suffocate under the pressure. I wouldn't be able to feel free under the weight of Gumi's love that surpasses mine.

It's unfair to Gumi because she doesn't deserve someone like me who's always unsure and hesitant. She needs someone who will support her, and I know this because we've always been together. I know what she needs and what she wants but… need is greater than want.

Still, I wish I could tell her with a sturdy heart:

"I love you."

I don't want you
I don't need you
I'll forget you
It doesn't matter

I'll play along
Writing Our Song
We are perfect
I love you

"No, no, no, no!" Stop thinking about her, I tell myself hopelessly. Why aren't you out of my head?!

After I kissed Gumi for the second time, I saw the suffering in her eyes and then just like that… it was gone. It didn't distract me from the tears that were trying to push their way through her eyelids though. I could see every little thing that she was trying to cover up. Her tears, her eyes searching mine for any sort of answer to my actions, her nervousness, her trembling, and her heart.

Stop trying to act so strong; it only hurts me seeing you like this.

"Listen to me, Gumi," I start.

Please don't listen to me…

"I know I could be perfectly happy seeing someone else. We could both be happy if we do that, ne?" My voice shook as I said this, and I turned away quickly trying to hide my own tears that began to form.

Not even a moment passed by and I felt a soft, warm hand grab mine. I span back around so I was now facing the red-faced, teary-eyed, green-haired girl.

Before I could even register what was happening, I felt a small nip on my ear and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" I said, a little angry that I'd been played with.

Gumi pulled back and stared at me with big, innocent eyes while a smile coated her lips. She sniffed through her nose that was red from embarrassment and gave me a look as if she was totally not guilty of the event that just happened.

"Did I ever tell you that your ears are big too?"

I felt my face turn entirely red and I covered my ears. "Are you crazy?! Someone could see us!"

"You weren't worrying about that when you ki-" Gumi tried to say, but was interrupted by a male voice.

"Luka."

I turned to see a purple-haired teenaged boy coming up to me.

I gasped, "Gakupo! What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you," he said to me, and then noticed Gumi standing behind me and nodded his head, acknowledging her.

Gumi seemed to shrink half her size as she crept out from behind me timidly.

"Hi, Gakupo-kun," she said.

I looked at her, now the one with skittering eyes, "I... I'll be going now, Gumi," and I stuttered slightly, cut off guard by her sudden change in demeanor.

I slid over to Gakupo's side and faked a smiled to Gumi while Gakupo waved a hand goodbye. He dropped his hand and grabbed mine from my side. We turned towards the school and headed for it.

I only took a few steps before I heard a faint, "Sayonara," come from Gumi's lips.

My heart constricted painfully, and I quickly took a regretful glance back towards where we had just been with hope to spot the green-haired girl. I hoped that maybe, just maybe she'd be standing there with that forged smile on her face supporting me as always, but with no luck of spotting her, my heart sunk. Gakupo squeezed my hand, and I could only blink back the tears that were begging to be released. That's when I realized... Gakupo knew that I was in love with Gumi; he knew all along. Seconds before we were in the school, I swear, I could hear Gumi crying. And as that scene penetrated my mind I realized that this was the end to both our first loves.

No, this is all wrong
Why aren't you gone?
I know you're not that strong
Don't listen to me
We'll always be so perfectly happy

I look at myself in the mirror and trace the outlines of my lips and think, I'm like this smudge. I can be made and erased just like that. To Gumi, I was just something like a smudge. Maybe one day she'll erase me from her heart and move on. Then, I'll be able to see her love in the arms of someone who loves her like I do. And maybe one day I'll be able to see her smile sincerely in that white wedding dress I've always dreamed of seeing her in. Perhaps, one day, I'll finally be able to look in this mirror again and say:

"I don't love you."

But, until then, I will continue to lie to myself.

And maybe one day I'll get to see you smile
In the arms of someone who loves you like I do

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a review if you can c:

Credits to CircusP for composing and subtitling "Lie"