Part IV: Edification

The rest of the week was a learning curve for everyone.

The first lesson came when the head nurse tried to supervise Shizuru on giving Natsuki a sponge bath. Natsuki had endured a few sponge baths at the hands of the nurses already. She'd responded to them by going numb, as Shizuru had noted. Natsuki understood the necessity of the sponge baths, but she was hardly comfortable being undressed, and touched, by a rotating roster of strangers who were on shift at the particular time of need. So when it came time for Shizuru to learn to do it, Natsuki was a bit more receptive to the idea. After all, Shizuru had seen her undressed plenty of times. Shizuru had held her, touched in, in intimate and loving ways, before. Surely this would be easier.

The head nurse, who insisted that Natsuki call her Kasuga, spoke in soft, even tones as she instructed Shizuru.

"Kuga does seem very at ease with you doing this," Kasuga noted.

"Yes, though I wouldn't take that personally, Nurse Kasuga," Shizuru smiled, "I've simply known her longer."

"It's alright to tell her, Shizuru,"Natsuki said softly, feeling Shizuru's hands gently wipe around her body with the warm washcloth, "They know anyway."

Shizuru chuckled lowly to herself, "Oh, Natsuki, Natsuki, how can you be so much more at ease saying things like that than I was?"

"'Cause you worry what people think of you," Natsuki smiled gently at her, "While I never did. Except for you. I cared what you thought."

"That's gratifying," Shizuru said sincerely, washing around Natsuki's breasts. She noted, with some measure of pleasure, that the swelling on her injuries had subsided and the bruising was beginning to fade. She had to be careful of Natsuki's ribs on her left side, as the broken ribs were still highly tender. She had been instructed by Kasuga to save the genital and anal areas for last, so after she finished Natsuki's stomach, she worked her way to the legs.

It was only when she as working on Natsuki's thighs that she became aware of Natsuki's breathing. It was ragged, labored, and there was a distinctive flush to her cheeks.

"Shi...Shizuru..." Natsuki whimpered, "Could you…could you let Kasuga finish?"

"Natsuki?" Shizuru blinked.

Kasuga smiled and tapped Shizuru on the shoulder, "Don't take it personally, Fujino. She's not unhappy with your technique. She's embarrassed by her reaction to it."

"Broadcast it to the world, why don't you, Kasuga?" Natsuki managed a glower.

"I don't understand?" Shizuru said, genuinely confused.

"Kuga was getting aroused by your touch," Kasuga said calmly, "I've seen it before. And it's perfectly natural. Nothing to be ashamed of, Kuga. You two are lovers. And you haven't been able to touch each other in a meaningful way since the accident. I've seen it before with many a married couple."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Natsuki. I didn't mean to get you worked up."

"Takes two to tango, Shizuru," Natsuki said, "I just…ain't too keen on having an audience. Besides, Doctor Matsuda said not until…"

"I don't think getting worked up from a sponge bath counts as sexual activity the way Matsuda is thinking," Kasuga said, finishing the task for Shizuru, "And I'll leave you two to chat as soon as we get Kuga dressed again."

After Kasuga finished dressing Natsuki and left the room, Shizuru sighed, "I am sorry, once again, Natsuki, for getting you worked up."

"Shizuru, please,"Natsuki lowered her eyes, "Please stop apologizing for everything. You're driving me nuts. Look, I was hurt. I was hurt badly. I know. And you all want to be gentle with me. But between you and Mai, and Nao of all people treating me like I'm delicate…I know you all mean well, and you're trying to be kind, and I get that. I appreciate it. But please stop apologizing for things that you aren't responsible for. Like Kasuga said, I got worked up because it's been awhile, okay. And you probably got worked up too, for the same reason. Right?"

Shizuru nodded once.

"See. So, it's alright. I know you miss being intimate, Shizuru. I do, too. And it's at the top of my list of things to do as soon as I get the go-ahead from the doctors. So, don't worry about it."

Shizuru drew a deep breath and then slowly exhaled, "Then permit me to apologize to being blind to how our treatment was affecting you, and make a small confession of my own."

"And that is?"

Shizuru walked over and put a hand on Natsuki's uninjured shoulder, "I think we should take Alyssa and Miyu up on their offer."

Alyssa had come a few days before and confirmed a suspicion that Natsuki had had ever since learning her mother was tied to Searrs, who had somehow created their own artificial HiME.

"Yes, it was Saeko Kuga's ova that were used to create me, as well," Alyssa explained, "And that means that you are my sister. Well, half-sister. And right now, that makes you the only blood relative I have left in the world."

"Okay," Natsuki had said calmly, "And that means…?"

"As we are operating under the terms given us by Mai Tokiha regarding the entire situation with you Valkyries, in the interests of fostering goodwill with you and the others, I would like to have you come live at my villa," Alyssa said, "It just so happens that it is equipped with amenities for people who are wheelchair bound, and I can have a trained nurse tend to your medical needs round the clock. Of course, your significant other is free to assist as she desires as well.

"After all, Miss Fujino," Alyssa smiled at her with a look that was somehow benevolent and calculating all at once, "You do have college courses you are taking, yes?"

"I'm not sure how I feel about a private nurse," Natsuki said, "I'm…"

"Let me put you at ease, Miss Kuga," Miyu spoke up, "Miss Alyssa is referring to me. I am fully versed on human anatomy, and medical procedures. Indeed, the electrical pulse I once used to stun you can also function as a defibrillator should the need arise. What's more, I can attend to your medical needs with the utmost discretion."

Natsuki looked pensive, "May I think about it, for a bit. It's a lot to take in, and a really big change."

Alyssa actually managed to look tender, "Of course. I understand. I do hope you won't dismiss it out of hand, though. I do want to be closer to you as a sister. You are a bit rough and tumble, but you have a cunning and a strong will that I admire. It was you, after all, who uncovered our little plot when we were at the Academy."

That had been a few days earlier, and now Shizuru was suggesting taking them up on the offer.

"Any reason why you think we should, Shizuru?"

"Well, Miyu does make a good case that she could tirelessly attend to your needs. She would never lose her patience with you, never snap at you, and would treat you with all necessary care at all times. Whereas I…am human. And fallible. I want to care for you, Natsuki, but I want to make sure you're cared for correctly. And I have to acknowledge that I can't be there all the time, or be at my best all the time, either."

Natsuki smiled at her, "And you feel guilty about that, don't you? Hey, come here."

Natsuki reached up and wiped tears away from Shizuru's eyes with her thumb, "I think it's a good idea, too. But I didn't want to make it sound like I was turning you down or anything. I…I want…I need to know that you're still attending classes, that you're still doing the things you need to do to take care of you, Shizuru. Besides, there's a lot of hard work ahead of me, and you might go easy on me out of sympathy right when I need someone to be hard on me. So, yeah, why don't you call them and let them know that we'll take them up on their offer?"

~~*~~

"So, you doing okay, Natsuki?" Nao asked as she sat for her vigil.

"Climbing the freaking walls. There isn't a lot to do here, and they're weaning me off the IV painkillers, so I'm really starting to feel just how much it actually hurts," Natsuki forced a grin at her one-time arch foe.

"Sounds rough. I brought some books, if you're interested."

Natsuki nodded, "Well, I'll get out of here in two days, so that'll help. But I don't want to be rude, Nao. You took time to come here, so I figured I should give you some attention."

Nao grinned, "So considerate. Me, I kinda like looking at your sleeping face. You actually look peaceful when you're out. Although you also look kinda adorbs when you're blushing beet red, too."

"Okay, funny girl. Just for that, you just volunteered to read to me," Natsuki leaned back against her pillow.

"What do you want to hear? I have Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan le Fanu, The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith, Strawberry Panic by Sakurako Kimino, and Otherside Picnic by Iori Miyazawa."

Natsuki gave her a rueful look, "I'm sensing a theme here, Nao."

"They're…um…they're my books, y'know," Nao blushed, "Please don't tell Fujino. After what I said to her on the coast road that night, I'd never hear the end of it."

"You wanna talk about it?" Natsuki asked tenderly.

"I thought I'd read up on the subject, because I really wanted to know what it was like between you two, and I just found it kinda compelling reading. Not sure I'd want to try it for my myself, but it's something enticing when I read about it."

"Okay, and you brought them as reading material for me because…? What? You wanted to ask me about their authenticity? Or you had some questions?"

"I thought I'd gauge your reactions," Nao admitted, "I figured if they made you flush red, they were pretty genuine. You strike me as the sort that would roll your eyes if it was unrealistic."

Natsuki rolled her eyes then and there, "Love you, too, Nao."

"Wait…you knew they were all lesbian books. So…have you read them already?"

"Just Otherside Picnic. But Shizuru has the others on her bookshelf."

"Ah."

"You know, she doesn't hold it against you, right? What you said that night?"

Nao sighed, "I said she needed counseling, Natsuki. I basically called her a deviant. And now, here I am, reading the exact same books because I find myself getting a thrill out of it, and unlike your girlfriend, I keep it on the down-low"

Natsuki put her hand out and patted Nao's shoulder, "Hey, back then, no one would have agreed with you more than Shizuru herself, alright. And if I hadn't been so damned numb, I might have realized what you two were talking about."

Nao scoffed, "I don't know how you missed it, honestly. I mean, c'mon, you were a first year student, she was a third year. You were a delinquent, and she was the student council president. You had no classes in common, no club activities together, and the only time she would have legitimately had reason to have you in her office was if she was listening to Suzushiro rail off a list of charges against you. But there she was, hanging around you all the time. I think it was fairly obvious to everyone else that she had it bad for you."

Natsuki chuckled, "Obvious to everyone but me. Or maybe I just wasn't ready to see what was right in front of me. But I see it now. And I know it's love, not just lust. This accident…"

Natsuki paused, and there was a hitch in her voice, "I never doubted that it was love, but this accident proved it. Because even after I lost one of my legs…Shizuru…she still wants me…And…"

Nao handed Natsuki a tissue, and she wiped her eyes.

"So, I end up being the one who sees this," Nao sighed, "We all knew you were having nightly cries…I wish it had been Fujino or Tokiha who ran into this. Fujino would kiss you or something, and Tokiha is such a mom. She would have found the right words. But...all I can do is just…say that I'm glad that you know she loves you.

"You know, I love you, too. Oh, not the way Fujino loves you. It's not a romantic thing. It's just…in some ways you and me, we get each other, and it's good to have that in a friend. And I'm sorry…if I don't have the right words. I guess I'm kind of a shitty friend…"

"Well," Natsuki sniffed, but smiled, "Your pep talks suck, sure. But I'm glad it was you who saw this, Nao. 'Cause you're right, I do know you, and you're a lot of things, Nao, but in the end, you're honest…in your own way. Let me ask you something."

"Shoot."

"I know what Shizuru would say, but she has a bias, and I know what Mai would say, 'cause she's a total mom and so I need to hear this from you. I…um…I never thought I'd be the sort to worry about this…but…am I hideous now?"

Nao met Natsuki's eyes. Lime green against emerald.

"Hideous? You're banged up, bruised, and missing half a leg. You look god-awful, to be honest, but you're not hideous. I mean, okay, you're still a bit bruised, but that's going away. And the leg thing has to be a total bitch. Broken arm can't help, either. But that's gonna heal, too. And like I said earlier, you're kinda adorbs when you blush. You got a cute face. I can sorta see why Takeda was always chasing after you, and why Fujino was, too. It's not just your face. It's…something in the eyes, I think. You got really deep eyes. I like 'em. So, no, you're not hideous. But you do look like shit, right now."

Natsuki laughed and sobbed at the same time, "Yeah, well, we can talk again when I'm up and around."

Nao leaned over and gave Natuski a kiss on her forehead, "I'm glad to be of service. Look, I gotta hit the restroom. I'll be right back. You want anything?"

"A candy bar and a coloring book?" Natsuki suggested with a smirk.

"I'll see if I can't sneak it past the nurses," Nao raised her hand as if giving a solemn vow, "But they have this silly notion that I'm up to something whenever I visit. I mean, I half expect them to do a full cavity search when I pass by their station."

"They do have the latex gloves for it,"Natsuki laughed, then winced as she felt a tug in her ribs, "Oh, don't make me laugh."

"It was your dumb joke, Pup," Nao said, then clapped a hand over her mouth. But Natsuki smiled a syrupy smile at her.

"Oh, good. Now that feels more like getting back to normal."

Nao paused, then smiled, "Glad to be of service. See you in a second."

Nao ducked out of the room. She found Alyssa and Miyu in the front area by the nurse's station.

"I heard she was moving in with you. Her and Fujino."

"Yes. I want to help. When I learned she was family…I should have made an effort sooner."

"Did you tell her what you were considering?" Nao asked.

"Not yet. Miyu is consulting with the scientists at Searrs, and they are consulting with the doctors here. I don't want to propose anything to Natsuki until I know that it's not only possible, but feasible. Hope is a double edged sword, Miss Nao. It can inspire. It can elevate. It can lift a person out of darkness. However, if that hope proves to be for naught, it can take a person and shatter them. I will not shatter my sister. So before I offer her hope, I want to know that there is some."

"Okay. Hey, will you pay the nurses to turn a blind eye while I sneak some treats into the Pup's room?"

"What's her preference?" Alyssa cocked her head, quizzically.

"Don't know. But they got options, and what she doesn't want, I'll eat."